He didnt know how parents did it, watching their children in pain. Kaylee was nowhere near his daughter, but seeing her injured and bleeding was still traumatic.
Max was ashamed of himself, at the way he had readily pretended to be a father when he hadnt earned that right. Being a father wasnt some frivolous thing. Just because hed held Kaylee in his lap a few timeshe never should have misled Ellen. And he was determined to tell her the truth first thing tomorrow.
They had checked into their hotel earlier, but theyd been running late and so they hadnt even seen the two-bedroom suite, just had their bags sent up. Max had been looking forward to Janes reaction to the luxurious accommodations. Women always went crazy over this hotel, with its tall ceilings and plaster moldings, the lush carpeting and silk draped everywhere.
But Janes attention was squarely on her daughter. She took her straight into the bathroom and set her down on the counter.
Oh, shoot, my first-aid stuff is in the other bag.
Ill get it.
Its the small red one.
Moments later he returned with the bag. Kaylee watched solemnly as her mother produced an antiseptic towelette to clean the scrapes. She apparently carried towelettes for every occasion.
Ow.
Jane blew on the scrape. Sorry. But we have to clean you up so you dont get any germs. She tried to clean the cut on Kaylees chin, but Kaylee pushed her away.
No, Mommy. That stuff hurts. I want Max to fix me.
Me?
The child looked at him with adoring eyes. You have Band-Aids?
Your mommy has bandages, Max countered.
You put them on.
She just wants attention from you because its novel, Jane mumbled as she dug through her bag looking for something. I always fuss over her. Now, Kaylee-
I want Max.
Chapter Six
Jane looked at Max, her eyes imploring. Its late, and Im in no mood for a tantrum. Do you mind?
I want Max.
Chapter Six
Jane looked at Max, her eyes imploring. Its late, and Im in no mood for a tantrum. Do you mind?
Max smiled. Not at all. He didnt understand Kaylee wanting him, of all people, instead of her incredibly gentle and patient mother, but the little girl was entitled to a bit of spoiling after her accident. That road rash on her arm probably burned like fire.
He dabbed some antibiotic ointment on the oozing scrape. Kaylee watched him with interest, but she didnt cry or try to pull away. He did the same for the tiny cut on her chin. Finally, he put bandages on her injuries. The arm took two.
You look like youve done this a time or two, Jane said.
He had. Hannah was a typical rough-and-tumble kid, so he knew how to apply a bandage. Now that he thought about it, Hannah had enjoyed having him fuss over her, too. Maybe it was something common to girls with absent fathers. But what did he know? He was no shrink.
What he did know was that he enjoyed taking care of Kaylee. She aroused protective feelings in him that hed pushed aside and buried years ago. And he didnt want those feelings-not at all.
He had specifically stayed away from single moms for this very reason.
But this situation was different than the one with Hannah, he reasoned. He and Jane werent involved. If Kaylee felt a temporary attachment for him, it would end as soon as he stopped spending time with her. And, really, he would have no reason to spend time with her after they returned to Port Clara.
I think were done here, Max said brightly. He needed to get out of this bathroom, away from the false intimacy.
He was not going to fall into that trap again, getting cozy with a woman because he enjoyed pretending to be a family. Not that cozy was even a possibility with Jane.
Jane helped Kaylee down from the counter. Lets go find your pajamas.
Kaylee squealed with delight when she saw the big canopy bed in the bedroom she and Jane would share. Its a princess bed!
Max smiled as he fixed himself a drink from the minibar in the sitting room that separated the two bedrooms. He felt tremendous relief that Kaylee seemed back to her old self, that the injury hadnt been more serious. As he sipped his weak gin-and-tonic, he listened to the murmur of female voices coming from the bedroom.
Peaceful. Thats how he felt. Relieved and peaceful.
That wasnt a feeling he was used to. His was a world of highs and lows, tremendous drive and energy. Always a goal in mind. He wasnt used to just sitting, enjoying a quiet moment.
Jane emerged from her bedroom looking beautiful but frazzled. She wants a story. And she wants you to read it. Jane settled on the loveseat across from Max. Im sorry, but youve suddenly become her favorite person.
I dont mind reading her a story. Does she like Green Eggs and Ham? I can do that one from memory.
Really?
Maybe he shouldnt have revealed that. He didnt want to get into his history with Alicia and Hannah, not tonight. Its my favorite.
She likes it, too, Sam-I-Am.
Max abandoned his drink and strolled into the bedroom. I am Sam. Sam-I-Am.
Kaylee giggled. No, youre Max.
As he recited the familiar text from memory, Kaylees eyes grew heavier and heavier, and Maxs eyes strayed often to the other side of the double bed, with its luxurious sheets and silk comforter, picturing Jane reclining there, her dark hair spilled over her pillow.
What did she wear to bed? A skimpy nightgown? Boxers and a tank top? Nothing?
Max forcefully corralled his thoughts. She was his employee, a single mom and recently divorced. Off-limits. He had no business entertaining lurid thoughts about her.
But knowing that didnt stop him. By the time he reached the part about the fox and the box, another part of his mind had Jane undressed and writhing in his arms.
Shes asleep, Jane whispered as Max neared the end of the story. They tiptoed out of the room, and Jane quietly closed the door. I wish I could drop off to sleep that easily.
You dont?
Sometimes I lay awake worrying about the future and how Im going to provide for Kaylee. Sure, everythings okay now. But shes young and her needs are simple. What about when she gets older? Shell want a cell phone and a computer. Prom dresses. Textbooks. College tuition.
Ex-husbands are good for that kind of thing.
Hah. Scott would never provide for anything that wasnt specifically spelled out in their divorce agreement, not unless he underwent a major personality transformation.
Max quickly changed the subject. You want a drink? I noticed you stayed away from the beer and wine at the ball game.
I wanted to keep my wits about me so I wouldnt inadvertently blurt out something to Ellen that gave away our secret. And, yes, a drink would be nice. Is there wine?
Max headed for the minibar. Red or white?
White.
She shouldnt drink anything. In fact, she should just say good-night and march back into her bedroom, brush her teeth and go to bed, even if she didnt believe she could go to sleep. She was alone in a hotel suite with her boss. She thought about all those business trips Scott took. Staff development seminars, regional meetings in Dallas
Oh, who cared about Scott.
Max handed her a glass of Chablis, and she took a sip. It was cold and crisp. Not bad for minibar wine.
The Hotel Alexander strives to be a cut above. It says so on all their advertising.
Did you come up with that slogan?
Yeah. Long time ago. He reclaimed his drink-something clear with ice-and settled across from her. Well out of arms reach, thank goodness.
So, Max, Im curious. Why do you have a policy of not dating women with children?
He scowled. Whered you hear that?
From Allie. Or Sara-I cant remember.
You shouldnt listen to gossip.
So its not true?
He didnt answer right away. In fact, he looked troubled, and Janes heart sank. Of course they couldnt date, it was ridiculous. She had just ended one unhappy marriage and had no business even thinking about getting involved again. Yet
Oh, Jane. She really should cut down on her fantasizing.
I have dated women with children, he finally said. But I found itcomplicated.
You seem good with kids, though.
I like kids. Its not that.
Then what? I know Im being nosy, but Im curious. And since Im not auditioning for the role of your girlfriend, you can be perfectly honest.
He raised one eyebrow at her. All right, Ill be brutally honest. Women with children are so often looking for fathers for their kids. Thats what they see when they see me-a good provider as well as a guy who gets along well with children. I dont like being seen as just a potential stepfather.
Thats a bit harsh.
Its true, though. If you were a single man out in the dating world, you would see that. Not that its wrong for a woman to put her child first. Im sure if you were looking for a boyfriend, your first concern would be for Kaylee. Right?
Since her thoughts had been running along that very line earlier in the evening, she couldnt very well deny it. Maybe you do have a point.
Its a shame, though, he added absently, almost to himself.
Its a shame, though, he added absently, almost to himself.
Whats a shame?
He looked up, surprised. Maybe he hadnt meant to say those words aloud. It would be pointless to deny that Im attracted to you, and I suspect you dont find me repulsive. Here we are in this romantic hotel, and under other circumstances
Dont even think about it.
Its hard to think about anything else.
Every cell in Janes body came to life. Something fluttered in her stomach and her palms grew damp.
Suddenly he smiled. Dont worry, Jane. I would never act on it. I do have some scruples.
She allowed herself to breathe again, relieved at his words. Because if he tried to seduce her, she wasnt sure she was strong enough to say no.
MAX LAY AWAKE in his big bed, still unable to sleep. The gin hadnt helped; neither had clearing the air with Jane. He wanted her just as badly as ever. Despite his brave words about having scruples, it took every ounce of his willpower not to get out of bed and knock on her bedroom door.
But he made it until morning without succumbing to temptation. When he emerged from his room, showered, shaved and dressed, he found Jane and Kaylee sitting together on the sofa. Jane was reading a book aloud in a soft voice, something a bit more complex than Green Eggs and Ham.
Max! Kaylee jumped off the sofa and ran toward him, attaching herself to his leg.
Good morning to you, too. He ruffled her blond curls and tried not to notice how his heart squeezed painfully. How could Jane ever wonder why he avoided single moms when she saw this? Hed barely scratched the surface of his reasons last night. He hadnt mentioned that the worst thing, the very worst, was the attachment to the child-an attachment that would have to be painfully severed if things didnt work out.