And hot sex with Kane wasnt enough. The realization came to her as clear and strong as the sunlight suddenly streaming through the window. She blinked against the harsh glare. He walked across the room and drew the shades.
Kayla folded her arms over her chest and lay back against the pillows. Shed gotten to him once. She could do it again. She had as much to prove to Kane as to herself. Her ability to trust her instincts was at stake. Shed read him so wrong that first night. She had to know she was right about him now.
Exhaustion threatened, but she couldnt give in. She intended to test his resolve. He might think he was here as her protector to atone for his sins. Was he in for a surprise.
She glanced across the room. He stood, legs braced apart, staring out the slit in the blinds. She knew the muscles in those legs, the feel of him pulsing in her hand. She knew how it felt to be comforted and held through the night.
She wanted more from Detective Kane McDermott than his guilt-induced protection. She wanted the chance to see if they had a chance. To see if this man was the one to breach her own walls, and show her men-and relationships-had potential. To do that she had to get past his barriers.
And Kayla intended to get what she wanted.
CHAPTER SIX
KAYLA SUSPECTED HED fight her by erecting barriers so high, shed have to learn to mountain climb to achieve her goal.
Kane? He turned at the sound of his name, his hands tucked in his front jean pockets.
Thank you.
For?
If youd come over here, Id tell you. She couldnt trust herself to stand and she couldnt talk to him if he stood so far away. She had more than physical barriers to breach. She just hadnt yet learned what the others were.
He walked over and lowered himself onto the bed, causing the mattress to dip beneath his weight. Kayla drew her legs up and scooted closer to the edge. Closer to him.
She placed a hand on his arm. Muscles tightened beneath her fingertips. She didnt loosen her grip. I appreciate your being here.
Why? I lied to you from the second we met.
Shed expected to have to force truths out of him. Instead hed given her the opening she sought. Because you were doing your job. I realize that now.
If I was doing my job, youd have been protected before you got hurt.
She laughed, but knew better than to shake her head. Eating had helped, but she still felt drumbeats when she moved too fast. Sometimes we mistake what our jobs are. I remember one night when I was younger. Catherine wanted to go out with her friends. I knew these friends were trouble, that she was headed in the wrong direction. So I snuck into her room and stole her wallet and what little money she had inside. She went anyway, and got caught sneaking out of a restaurant without paying the hefty bill. Kayla gnawed the inside of her cheek, remembering the night the police officer had brought her sister home.
His strong hand touched her cheek. Whats your point? he asked in a gruff voice.
We raised each other. It was my job to look out for her and I blew it.
Was she arrested?
No. The owner refused to press charges. He gave her a job washing dishes instead. The point is, I didnt do my job, but looking back, it wasnt mine to do. Just like the minute I walked out of that hotel room, I wasnt yours to look out for anymore.
I agree with you about Catherine. As for me, I was still on a case.
She raised an eyebrow. Sleeping with me was work-related?
Dont twist my words.
Then let the guilt go. Kayla couldnt reach him if he hid behind his job and sense of duty. Look, when you were a teenager, did you ever get in an argument with your mother, then storm out into the street?
He met her question with a vacant stare.
Curious she pushed on. At that point, there wasnt anything she could do to stop you from getting into trouble.
There wasnt a damn thing she could have done about anything. She was dead.
Her mouth opened and closed again just as fast. Im sorry.
Dont waste your time feeling sorry for her. She killed herself. Took herself out of the game.
Leaving her child behind. Kayla knew better than to voice pity for the boy hed been. She was grateful enough for the revelations. She wasnt about to discourage them by suffocating him in emotion. And your father? she asked.
Took a hike when I was five. Is there a point to all this?
A smile tipped the edges of her mouth. There was, but youve cut off every one I was about to make.
Kane let the tension ease out of his shoulders. She didnt treat him with the sad look or pitying expression his friends, teachers and the authorities had used in his youth. He hadnt voiced his story again until now, but wasnt surprised hed confided in Kayla.
Hed known many women. None affected him on any level other than physical. None attempted to challenge him. Hed met his match with Kayla and he respected her for it. Respected her far more than women who played the weak heroine to get his attention and into his bed.
Hed begun having sex early in his teens, too often hed come to realize. Later hed become smarter, more discriminating. Only one thing remained constant. He came and went with no thought to looking back or revealing inner truths. Not so with Kayla. After all shed been through-thanks to him-she deserved a little honesty.
But that wasnt the sole reason for his confidences now. He didnt want to think about why he wanted to share the most painful parts of his life with this woman.
She shifted, the movement revealing pale skin and an expanse of thigh that aroused him in an instant.
My point is you arent responsible for me, she said, meeting his gaze.
Primitive possession flooded his system. The hell Im not.
In the face of his roar, she didnt blink.
He admired her spunk. Youre my responsibility at least until this case is over, so lets drop that part of the conversation now.
Okay.
He hadnt expected her to give in without an argument. So you arent angry?
He admired her spunk. Youre my responsibility at least until this case is over, so lets drop that part of the conversation now.
Okay.
He hadnt expected her to give in without an argument. So you arent angry?
Not about the initial investigation.
And what came after?
Pheromones, she explained.
What?
Two people attracted to each other by stimuli they cant control. Hed forgotten the intellectual side of this beautiful woman. A chemical reaction, she went on. So if youre still blaming yourself for losing focus, dont. Im equally at fault.
Meaning?
I wanted you, too. She fiddled with the hem on her jersey without meeting his gaze. This was the Kayla hed first met. The innocent that threatened to chip away at his heart, if he let her.
Which he wouldnt. But he couldnt let her last statement go unchallenged. He had to know. Wanted as in past tense? he asked.
She shrugged and leaned back into the pillows. Why ask? Youre a man of your word. You said it wont happen again. Does what I want really matter?
He could drown in emotion, in her. Everything you want matters.
Her expression grew still, then a tear spilled from the corner of one eye. No ones ever said that to me. Im thankful for you, Kane.
A low growl escaped from his throat. I dont want your gratitude.
Then what do you want?
Thats a loaded question.
I know. Thats why I asked. An impish smile played around her mouth, even as she wiped away a tear.
Kane knew what he wanted. Kayla, soft and giving beneath him. But she was right. Hed laid down the law. It wouldnt happen again. But he knew what Kayla needed-to be reassured that she counted. It was the only thing he could offer her.
He looked into her eyes-eyes that displayed her soul and mirrored his need. He braced his hands on either side of her face. He caressed her cheek, careful to keep her head steady. Are you sure you want to know what I want?
I wouldnt have asked otherwise. She touched a hand to the stubble on his face and ran two delicate fingers down his cheek. You count, too, Kane. I wonder if anyones ever told you that before.
No one had. No one would again. He leaned over and covered her mouth with his. To block out the truthand to accept it at the same time. Her lips opened and her tongue sought his, not hesitant but eager. She licked his lips, ran her tongue over his teeth, learning and growing bolder with each taste.
He craved her. She was a drug he couldnt get enough of. He threaded his fingers through her still damp hair, then eased his lower body over hers. His arms shook with exertion, from the need to keep a safe distance between them, else he lose control and hurt her more.
Her hips jerked upward without warning. She brushed his erection with nothing more than the flimsy cotton hed found in her drawer. He exhaled a harsh groan and eased himself on top of her, settling himself between her thighs.
It wasnt enough. He was too damn hard. He wanted to rip off those panties andA soft moan penetrated the haze of desire. He flipped over fast. Damn but hed made a mistake.
It wouldnt happen again. Yeah, right. One battle lost, Kane thought, but the bigger war raged on. He rolled onto his side and glanced over. Are you okay?
Too much too soon, she whispered, echoing his earlier words.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Once again, his need had gotten in the way of common sense. Get some rest, he said in a voice rough with unslaked desire, and self-disgust.
Im sorry. Her shoulders remained stiff.
For? He worked the muscles beneath his fingers, kneading her soft skin. As a distraction, it didnt work. He had a sexy woman in his arms and his body knew it.
Im a lot of things, Kane. But Im not a tease.
Did I say you were?
No. But Im sure youre thinking it.
He sensed the source of her concern was based in her past and understood. As a matter of fact, Im not.
What are you thinking? she asked.
That she didnt need to dig into her old insecurities. Not with him. He respected everything about her. That I pushed myself on a poor, frail, injured woman, he said with a crooked grin.
She laughed. His attempt to lighten the mood had obviously worked. No, really.
That I wasnt in the mood anyway.
This time she treated him to a snort of disbelief. Seriously.
I was thinking, he said, pausing to smooth her hair and inhale the fragrant scent that was Kayla. That what just happened
Yes?
Was the best almost sex I ever had. Just being with her was beyond good. Kane accepted how much he needed her, even as he knew hed ultimately let her go.