She hesitated, then nodded, and he saw a tear slip between her lashes and run down her cheek. Hed know about the nuns disguise. And Carlos has people everywhere, she whispered hopelessly. It really wouldnt surprise me if you turned out to be one of them.
Well, Im not, J.J. growled. That I can promise you. Look, think about it. If Id wanted to harm you and take your baby, I could have left you out there in the desert to die.
She stared at him for a long moment, then shook her head and whispered, I was so stupid. Stupid to think I could escape from Carlos Delacorte. She brushed at her cheek as she gazed down at the sleeping baby. No matter where I go, or what I do, hell find me. Im never going to be free of himor safe.
Well, Im not, J.J. growled. That I can promise you. Look, think about it. If Id wanted to harm you and take your baby, I could have left you out there in the desert to die.
She stared at him for a long moment, then shook her head and whispered, I was so stupid. Stupid to think I could escape from Carlos Delacorte. She brushed at her cheek as she gazed down at the sleeping baby. No matter where I go, or what I do, hell find me. Im never going to be free of himor safe.
Now that, said J.J., settling himself on the bed beside her, is where youre wrong.
Rachel had to catch her breath, then, a tiny hiccup that was half laugh, half sob. All that was missing, she thought, was for him to call her little lady. Classic Duke Wayne.
What? His smile was wry, almost uncertain, and she found that unexpectedly endearing.
What? she shot back to him.
You looked like you were about to smile.
She looked down at her baby, hoping to hide the tears that flooded unexpectedly into her eyes. Hoping to hide the smile that came with them. You just reminded me of something, thats all, she whispered. Someone.
Your husband? His voice sounded stiff, diffident.
No, she said, letting the smile come. John Wayne.
He gave a snort of surprised laughter. I remind you of John Wayne?
She looked up at him. Yeah, you do. Not the way you look-more likethe way you talk. Sometimes. And she couldnt stop a little gasp of surprise as his fingers brushed her cheek.
John Wayne makes you cry? His voice was gentle now, the way she remembered it had beenbefore.
She pulled away from his touch, shaking her head, self-conscious, wishing she hadnt mentioned it. No, its justyou know, emotions, I guess. She tried to wave it away with a gesture. Hormones, maybe?
Understandable.
He waited, silent and watchful, and after a moment she gave a self-conscious laugh and heard herself say, When I was a little girl She thought, I cant believe Im telling him this. Five minutes ago I thought he was one of Carloss men, come to kill me. But the words didnt stop.
I was very young when my grandmother brought me to this country. It was a huge change, and I didnt even know the language. I was lost and scared. She used to sit with me and hold me and we wouldnt talk, just watch old Western movies together. I think John Wayne was our favorite. She paused, expecting questions, but he only watched her and waited in that intent way he had, and after a moment she went on, but with more confidence now, maybe because he was such a good listener.
Im, umhalf Vietnamese. My mother left Vietnam with her family after Saigon fell-they were among the boat people-you probably heard of them. They were some of the lucky ones, because a U.S. Navy ship picked them up and took them to the Philippines. Thats where my mother met my father. His name was Sean Malone, and he was stationed there. He was inI guess you call them special ops now, but anyway, he was killed there, somewhere in Southeast Asia-Cambodia, I think-when I was just a baby. Then my mother died when I was about two, and her family didnt want a half-breed child, so they put me in an orphanage. Andthats where I was when my grandmother found me. It took her two years, but she was finally able to bring me to America to live with her. She lived in Hollywood. Her name was Elizabeth. Her throat had closed up, the way it always did when she spoke of her grandmother, even after all this time, and she could only whisper her name.
Was? J.J. prompted softly, in a way that made her try to go on.
She kept her eyes fixed on her slumbering babys face, and drew a steadying breath. She died three years ago. It was right before I met Nicky. In fact
He finished the thought for her. Maybe you were looking for someone to fill a gap?
She let another breath go in a soft hiss. Yes. Maybe. Ive wonderedlately. I know I was very angry at the time. Because it was cancer that killed my grandmother, and maybe I felt medical science had failed her and I didnt want to be a part of it. She looked up at him and said with soft vehemence, Cancer makes me angry. Its just sowrong. You know?
He nodded, and his smile was both sympathetic and wry. I know what you mean. But cancer doesnt make me angry. Cancer is what it is, it doesnt make a conscious decision to ruin someones life. He paused, then added in a hardened voice, What does it for me is predators.
Predators?
Yeah, the two-legged kind.
Like Like Carlos, she thought. But not Nicky. At least he wasnt like that.
People who prey on the weak and innocent. The glint in his eyes reminded her of The Duke again. It also made a strange shiver run through her body. She wondered if he noticed it, because he immediately lightened his voice and his face softened with a smile. I mentioned I used to be a homicide detective. Guess thats why.
Used to be? she asked with maybe too much eagerness, glad to have the conversation turned away from her own past. What happened, did you burn out?
No- He stopped, thinking about it, then made a dismissive gesture. Hell, I dont know, I suppose that could have had something to do with it. Maybe. Anyway, its too long a story to get into now. Right now, what we need to do is get you to a safe place.
Safe. She felt a lurching sensation in her stomach, and a clammy chill flooded her skin. Shed actually forgotten, for those few moments, talking with Sheriff Jethro Fox who reminded her somehow of John Wayne. Forgotten that Carloss men had come to kill her, and very nearly succeeded. It came back to her now, that awful sensation of fighting for breath and finding noneof hearing her babys bassinet crash to the floorof knowing she was going to die, and there was nothing she could do to save herself, or her son. Horror seized her. She felt as if she was falling, falling, tumbling from a great height.
Please, she gasped, and felt someone-J.J.-lifting her baby from her arms. She relinquished him-no, thrust him from her-in desperate panic.
Then she was struggling to get out of bed, under a powerful compulsion to run, to flee, and strong arms were holding her again, holding her tightly while she shivered and shivered. And this time there was such a sense of familiarity about being in that place, in those arms, that she stopped shivering almost immediately. And the thought shown warm in her mind like a welcome-home lamp: Here I am safe.
This is getting to be a habit, J.J. said gruffly to the air above Rachels head. The odd thing was, he didnt mind, and even felt a sense of regret when she moved away from him, wiping her eyes. He suspected shed keep moving farther away, the more she healed and got back to her normal self. Which was the way it should be.
Feel better now?
She nodded, but couldnt seem to look straight at him. Her eyes darted here and there, like those of a cornered animal. Im sorry, I dont know what-it all just sort of hit me again.
Thats pretty normal, he said easily, reassuring her. Flashbacks. Youll probably get them a few more times. Its a pretty big shock to the system to have somebody try to kill you.
She gave a watery laugh. I guess youd know. You must run into this kind of thing a lot in your line of work.
She gave a watery laugh. I guess youd know. You must run into this kind of thing a lot in your line of work.
Not so much, considering most of the victims I run into-sorry, ran into-didnt survive to have flashbacks. Youd be one of the lucky ones.
He could see her looking thoughtful. Then she nodded and released breath in a sigh. You said, someplace safe. I dont even know where that is.
Do you mind my asking-where were you going when you ran away from Carlos? You must have had some place in mind when you set out across a few hundred miles of California desert.
She gave her head an emphatic shake. No-I was just running- she tried to look him in the eye but couldnt hold it more than a second or two -to get as far away as I could, as fast as I could.
Okay, so she was maybe the worlds worst liar. And still doesnt trust me all the way.
It wasnt the time to call her on it, so he let it go-for now. Well, he said, lapsing into the accent of his North Carolina roots, well figure that all out in a bit. Right now, Im getting you out of this place. You cant stay here, since Carlos knows where you are, and if he wants to kill you bad enough hell find a way to do it.
Then where-
For now, J.J. drawled, soon as theyll let me, Im taking you home. With me.
The next evening, driving through the desert with Rachel asleep in the seat beside him, her baby in the back in the car seat the hospital had made him go and buy before theyd let him take him, he kept running over it in his mind, asking himself if he was really doing the right thing-the best thing. For her. For him, sure, no question. But for Rachel and her baby, it wasnt so clear. Was he just being a single-minded, selfish jackass?
Well, probably. But in spite of that he kept coming back to the conclusion that taking Rachel into his protective custody was the only way he could keep her safe. Keep an eye on her. Yeah, his place wasnt much, but the only people on the planet who knew the exact location of his trailer were Katie and Deputy Daryl. Katie, hed trust with his life. Daryl, though
Well, hell. He scowled at the ribbon of blacktop stretching ahead of him while he went back and forth about Daryl in his mind, wondering just how far he could really trust his own deputy. Wondering if Rachels paranoia about her father-in-laws reach into law enforcement might be contagious.