Before getting on the freeway, though, mindful of Izzys instructions, she drove to a shopping center she remembered from the days when she was free to come and go as she pleased, and drove into the centers underground parking structure. She found a remote and relatively unused level and parked in the shadow of a support pillar. She took off the habit-with regret; shed liked the feeling of safety it had given her-and put it in the trunk of the car. It had occurred to her that leaving it might serve as a marker, a signpost for those who might be trying to track her down, like a footprint or a broken twig. Better to leave no traces of herself behind.
She found the license plates Izzy had left in the trunk, along with a screwdriver, and was pleased to note as she took the borrowed plates off and put the correct ones on that her hands didnt shake. She no longer felt terrified. Keyed up, excited, euphoric almost, but not afraid. That alone was a wonderful and amazing thing. Shed been afraid for so long.
Back on the freeway, which was moving relatively swiftly at that time of evening, she opened her window, shook her hair free of the elastic band that had held it back from her face and reveled in the sensation of the cool spring wind lifting strands off her shoulders, tickling her ears and temples.
This is what freedom feels like.
But then a pair of headlights came zooming up behind her and, as her heart leaped into her throat, whipped impatiently around her on the left and sped away in the fast lane. After that, heart hammering, she kept checking her rearview mirrors even though the anonymous headlights she saw reflected there had nothing to tell her.
Just past the Ontario Airport she turned off onto Interstate 15, heading northeast toward Las Vegas. Several times already the almost constant pressure on her bladder had forced her off the freeway in search of a public restroom, and during one of these pit stops she had bought a map. She had studied it while munching cheese-flavored popcorn and bottled water from the rest stops vending machines, and had plotted what she thought seemed like the best route-meaning the most devious, the least likely. Just past the town of Barstow where I-15 intersected with I-40 she had discovered a numbered highway that seemed to run in a reasonably straight line northward to Death Valley. Perfect, she thought. Who would ever think to look for her in Death Valley?
Having settled on her travel route, Rachel still had decisions to make. Looking at the map, the road shed chosen, though a numbered state route and therefore probably fairly well maintained, seemed lonely and remote, and she wasnt quite brave enough-or stupid enough-to chance it alone at night. Neither would she feel safe in a motel anywhere in a major crossroads like Barstow, which would be the obvious place for Carlos to look for her. Even a maintained rest stop seemed too exposed, too risky.
Maybe she was being overly paranoid, but shed learned a lot about the Delacorte family in the two years shed been a part of it, and she wouldnt make the mistake of underestimating its resources. Not when her life and the future of her unborn child depended on it.
So, after making one last bathroom stop and replenishing her supply of snacks and drinking water, she pulled off onto a minor paved road leading into the desert. The pavement fizzled out after only a quarter of a mile or so, but since she could no longer see the lights of traffic on the interstate, she felt it would be a reasonably safe place to spend what was left of the night. Not that she expected to sleep; the night was chilly, the baby was restless and her back ached. But she crawled into the backseat anyway, and curled up on her side with her head pillowed on one folded arm, the other hand resting on her swollen belly. She closed her eyes, and within minutes, as they so often did, images of Nicky came to fill the blank screen of her mind.
Happy images, at first-memories of when theyd first met, on the grounds of UCLA. Shed been premed, and Nicky-well, who knew what his major was? Undeclared, probably, but hed been taking a few classes shed shared, just to see, hed told her, if medicine held any interest for him. She remembered his smile, the sparkle of mischief in his beautiful dark eyes. Shed led a protected life up to that point, and the aura of danger that seemed to surround him had beenexciting.
His face filled her mind now, and she braced for the pain. Pushed against it, like worrying a sore tooth with her tongue. The memory came less easily now, six months after his death, and she felt a brief surge of panic when she couldnt seem to find it at first. Then it swept over her and she pressed her hand against the spot in the middle of her chest where the pain was sharpest. Pressed against it and gasped in sharp breaths, fighting it back. She both welcomed and dreaded the pain, knowing that when the day came she could no longer summon it, Nicky would be truly, finally gone.
But for nowthe pain seemed familiar, almost comforting. She let it settle over her and the tears ooze from beneath her lashes and trickle in cool trails down the side of her face and into her hair while memories, images played through her head. Happy memories, these werethe two of them together at the beach, on the sailboat in Newport, skiing in Park City, riding down Pacific Coast Highway in Nickys Porsche with the top down and the wind blowing through her hair. Laughing. Making love in all sorts of places, Nicky smiling down into her eyes while their bodies moved together in lovely harmony. Telling him she was pregnant, hearing the delighted whoop of his laughter, watching his eyes dance with almost childlike joy.
Thenthey were dancing together, swaying to the music of old-fashioned bands, holding hands across a table lit by candlelight, and Nicky was placing the ring on her finger. Nowtheir wedding day, a blur of people and flowers and champagne, and Nickys family-Carlos had scared her a little even then, but Nicky had told her they wouldnt have to be a part of the Delacorte organization, they would have their own lives, raise their children the way they wanted to.
And she had believed him then.
More musicmore dancingbut the mood had darkened. She didnt know what it was, but something was wrong. Nicky was different. She didnt know why, but she feltafraid.
Were dancing, Nicky and Iand suddenly were not dancing, but running, running, and Nicky has hold of my hand and Im running as fast as I can trying to keep up with him. Somehow were not in a ballroom anymore, but in an alley, and Nicky pushes me down behind a trash bin. I hear the roar of car engines, the chirp of sirens and then the world explodes in gunfire. Funny-Ive never heard gunfire before, but I know instantly what it is. Nicky calls out to me, calls my name. I look over at him and I see blood. Its everywhere, on his clothes and on my hands. His eyes are open, looking at me, and they arent sparkling, laughing, gleaming with mischief. They look so frightened. Terrified. And thenthere is nothing.
Someone grabs me, pulls me, half carries me, pushes me into a car and everything is chaos. But I remember the guns, and the smell of blood and gasoline and smoke, and I remember the bodies lying in the wet and dirt of the alley. I rememberI remember.
Chapter 2
She woke up, struggled to sit up in the cramped confines of the car. Her heart was hammering, her body stiff and aching in the early morning chill. For a moment she was unable to grasp where she was. The light outside the car windows was the cold gray light of dawn, not the glaring, pulsing hellish kaleidoscope of colors, of nighttime and police lights and spotlights. The vista beyond the windows was barren, empty, a landscape of pastels dotted with dark splotches and freckles of lava rock, not a canyon of steel and concrete and oily black pavement glistening with rain and blood.
The only thing left from her nightmare was the fear. The sense of danger and doom.
The baby stirred beneath her ribs. And she remembered.
Izzy. Izzy came in her habit. This is Izzys car. Im driving Izzys car, and Im free of the Delacortes at last. Free!
Yes, she was free, but alone out in the middle of nowhere. She still had to get to someone who could help her, someone she could trust. She had to find a safe place, which meant a place where Carlos would never find her. If there is such a place.
She ran her hand under her belly, and the letter shed taped there crackled faintly. Sam Malones letter. Would the grandfather shed never known, the grandfather who had never acknowledged her or lifted a finger or spent a dime to help her or her grandmother, would such a man be able to help her now? Was he even alive? If he was, as distasteful as it was to her to have to ask for help, it seemed her only choice. She would go to the place, this place called June Canyon Ranch, and after thatwell, she would have to wait and see.
Meanwhile, the pressure on her bladder was intense, and she was a long way from any public restroom. She climbed stiffly out of the car and relieved herself, as awkward and embarrassing as that process was, then stretched her legs by walking gingerly around the car several times. Her back ached terribly, but she supposed that was to be expected after spending a night in the backseat of a Toyota, nine months pregnant.
After a breakfast of bottled water and a package of bite-sized chocolate chip cookies that did little to calm her hunger pangs, Rachel consulted her map once more, then eased herself behind the wheel. She started up the car, managed to get it turned around without getting stuck in the soft sand and headed back to the interstate. Backtracking toward Barstow, she found the exit she wanted, the one for the numbered state route that ran north toward Death Valley. Exhilaration filled her as she made the turn, and saw the ribbon of asphalt stretching out into the lava-rock-studded hills. As the sun rose she saw that the hills werent barren at all, but tinged a lovely shade of green and splashed here and there with the vibrant yellows and purples and oranges of desert spring wildflowers.
Oh, but it felt good, so good to be free.
She drove fast-maybe too fast-and met a few cars at first, probably coming from one of the tiny dots shed seen on the map, settlements too small to be called towns. At this hour theyd be heading into Barstow to school or work, she guessed. Then the sun rose and there were fewer cars. The miles sped by and the mountains seemed no closer. She hadnt expected such distances between signs of civilization.
Though the desert seemed endless, it wasnt empty and parched as shed expected. The landscape alternated between plains where wildflowers made a solid yellow carpet between clumps of sagebrush and those greenish rock-strew hills. The road ran straight across the plains and wound through some hills, then seemed to follow a dry wash, or ravine. There were no other cars now. Rachel was alone, just her and the empty ribbon of highway stretching out to where the pale blue sky met the pastel-colored earth.