See, thats the good thing about being the boss, he said cheerfully. You get to delegate. Happens Ive got a whole bunch of good people working for me. Amazes me, sometimes, how much they can get done so long as I stay out of their way. His eyes slid past her as he made the turn onto Main Street, and he added softly and without a trace of humor, The fact is, Miss Mary, right now youre my number-one priority.
I wonder why he calls me that-Miss Mary, she thought.
I wonder why I dont mind that he does.
There was a knot of tension sitting at the very top of her chest, and she rubbed it absently as she watched the quaint Old-West-style storefronts on Main Street flash by. She noticed that many of them were wearing new coats of paint now that spring had come, and some had flower boxes sitting out in front, planted with pansies and snapdragons and daffodils that nodded in the wind. A lot of them had hung American flags, too.
I wonder why he looks at me the way he does sometimesas if he really does see right through this charade of mineas if he knows who I really am.
I wonder how he can know who I am when even I dont, and why it bothers me so much that he does.
I wonder why I wonder about him so much
What do you do when youre not working?
Her heart gave a nervous lurch and her breath hitched, and shed already flicked him a startled glance before she caught herself and murmured, What do you mean?
Watching the street ahead, he casually lifted one shoulder. What do you like to do in your spare time? Read? Garden? Build birdhouses? Go out with friends?
Warning instincts shivered over her skin. What is he doing? Is he trying to trick me? Why are you asking? she said lightly, on guard now.
The glance he gave her seemed more amused than exasperated, like the look an indulgent parent might bestow on a rebellious child. Its called conversation-you know, polite small talk? Thats where I ask you unimportant questions and you answer them, then you ask me some and I answer, and maybe in the process we get to know each other a little better.
He was patronizing her. Annoyance crept over her, banishing the pricklings of suspicion. Conversation? she said with an incredulous huff of laughter. You must be kidding. We shouldnt even be talking at all-about anything.
He was silent for a moment, then said quietly, Im not trying to trick you into anything, if thats what youre thinking. My asking didnt have anything to do with you having secretsme trying to find out who you are. Maybe I shouldnt be asking any kind of questions-most likely I shouldnt-hell, Lord knows I shouldnt. But look, youre a newcomer in a town where everybody knows everybody and half are related by blood or marriage. Id like to learn more about you. Thats it-thats all it is. He was frowning when he finished, maybe realizing how many contradictions thered been in what hed said.
Mary studied his rugged profile, cast in bronze by the setting sun. The dent in his cheek was a purple shadow, his hair burnished gold. The skin on his forehead had a rosy glow that looked as if it would be warm to touchand she couldnt keep herself from thinking of the ways she might. Brushing that thick silky hair back, my fingers burrowing through itholding him close while I
Mary studied his rugged profile, cast in bronze by the setting sun. The dent in his cheek was a purple shadow, his hair burnished gold. The skin on his forehead had a rosy glow that looked as if it would be warm to touchand she couldnt keep herself from thinking of the ways she might. Brushing that thick silky hair back, my fingers burrowing through itholding him close while I
Shimmering heat crept through her. I shouldnt be doing this, she thought, but she heard herself clear her throat. I dont know many people in town-other than clients, that is. In the evenings I watch televisionreadlisten to music-
Yeah? Me too. The smile he threw her was spontaneous-the first of its kind shed seen. It softened his face, warmed his cold-steel eyes. Her heart gave a hiccup of surprise. What kind of music? Not country, Im thinkin.
Without knowing she was going to, she smiled back. No. Classical, I guesspopBroadwayand anything you can dance to.
You like to dance?
I used to, she said. Her smile faded and died.
You ever go dancing on the weekends? Weve got a few places around here. Naturally, its gonna be country, though.
She stared blindly at her hands and shook her head. On weekends I usually catch up on choresgo grocery shopping. When the weather lets me, I go to the firing rangemaybe for a walk. The remembered loneliness of those solitary walks came creeping over her like nighttime fog, banishing the lovely shimmering warmth, and only now that it was leaving her did she recognize the warmth as happiness.
You ever ride?
What? Ride-oh, you mean horses? She shuddered, and when she looked up, found shed almost missed another of his oddly endearing, crooked grins.
Well, yeah, this bein Montana.
Oh-God, no. She looked at him with such horror that he laughed out loud. This time when he glanced at her, his eyes were bright with curiosity.
Mean to tell me youve never ridden a horse before?
She shook her head. Her skin was crawling with new prickles of warning.
Why is that? Never had the chance, or scared to try?
She gave a short, high laugh, considered for moment, then decided to ignore the warnings. Both, I guess. Maybe a cause and effect in there somewhere.
Ah, he said, nodding wisely, must be a city girl.
She turned her head sharply and looked out the window as a memory came from nowhere, unexpected and shocking as a slap.
You think you want to be a city girl! My fathers voice, thundering down like the wrath of God from somewhere above me-his pulpit, maybe. I remember the church smells of old wood and linseed oil and dead flowers as he shouted, Cities are dens of wickedness and degradation, girl-remember what the Lord did to Sodom and Gomorrah. No! My answer is no, and no, and a thousand times no! No daughter of mine will ever follow a path that can only lead to sin and death! Not while I have breath!
She thought, Goes to show how much you know, Sheriff. But the warning prickles were too insistant now to be ignored, and they kept her from saying it out loud.
The SUV turned sharply, jounced off the pavement and into a packed-earth parking lot, and came to a halt.
Mary glanced around in surprise; shed been too fogged in by memories to notice theyd gone beyond the turn-off to her street. Why are we stopping here?
The sheriff pulled the keys from the ignition and turned to look at her, his hair and features weirdly highlighted by the flashing multicolored glow of the animated neon sign on the roof of Busters Last Stand Saloon. Its dinnertime. Im hungry, and Im guessing you are, too. Im also guessing-well, hell, to be honest, I happen to know you havent done any grocery shopping since you got out of jail. Since Im told you like the cooking here, thought you might like to stop inpick up something to take home for dinner.
She stared at him, trying to read him, wondering whether hed meant to be cruel whether he could really be so devious. But his expression, thanks to the flickering light of the neon sign, had nothing to tell her.
She turned to stare instead at the sign-a cowboy on a rearing horse, which was said to be something of an antique, though not as much of one as the original, which Mary had been told had depicted an Indian wielding a tomahawk. It had been replaced sometime in the latter part of the twentieth century when changing sensibilities had rendered it politically incorrect.
She gazed now at the rearing horse, half-hypnotized by its flashing animated sequence that seemed to keep time with the thumping of her heartbeat and the throbbing ache in her throat, and wondered why her vision should suddenly blur with unshed tears. Because his kindness had seemed real to herbecause shed trusted himbecause she felt betrayed? Or something else entirely?
Why are you doing this? She was so used to keeping silentso used to keeping her secrets, she almost didnt believe it was her own voice. What did you hope to accomplish by bringing me here?
What? He jerked back from her as if shed struck him. Feigned innocence, she wondered, or genuine surprise? Ah, Mary, come on, now-
Were you hoping IdI dont know, be overcome with guilt at seeing the place where Jason and I had ourconfrontation, break down and confess I shot him? Save your county the expense of a trial? She glared at him, relieved it was anger that had brought these forbidden tears. Anger, she could deal with.
Ahhell. Mary He drew a hand over his face, then turned so that he was facing her, one arm across the back of the seats. Look, Ive an idea youve got good reasons to be so suspicious and cynical about a mans motives. Maybe I cant expect you to trust me, or believe me when I tell you Im just not that devious. His voice was a low, hypnotic rumble. She didnt want to listen to itdidnt want to sit unmoving when she felt his hand on the back of her neck. And yetshe did. But Im not, the mesmerizing voice went on, while his hand slipped under her straggling hair to lay its comforting and intimate warmth on her bare nape. Swear to God. Kind of wish Id thought of it, but the fact is, all I was trying to do was get you something to eat before I took you home. I am truly sorry I upset you.
She nodded, eyes closed, and struggled to push words past the ache in her throat. Its okayIm sorryits just that
But how could she explain to him that in the darkness and the flashing neon lights it had all come back to her, that she could feel hot, moist hands on her body, the rough scrape of beard stubble, cruel wet lips and searching tonguethe choking stench of beer breaththe coppery taste of blood in her mouth. She felt nauseated and cold; all the feelings shed suppressed that night rose up in her now, and it took every ounce of will she had to keep from tearing open the car door and vomiting onto the hard-packed earththen running away as fast and as far as she could get from that soothing voice and gentle hand. So compelling was the desire to crawl trembling and sobbing into this mans armsto allow herself the unimaginable luxury of his comfort and protection.