You didnt sound too insane.
He grimaced. Drink your dinner.
When she finally cracked open the beer, the hoppy fragrance made her close her eyes and inhale. She leaned back and took a drink.
She couldnt contain a moan of delight as the rich head hit the back of her throat. Notes of chocolate and blackberry danced across her tongue. She tilted the chair and upended the bottle for another long draught.
When she opened her eyes, Beck was watching, his golden eyes almost as dark as the brew. Like it?
Might be your best ever.
He smiled as he shut the safe with a reverberating clang. I think so too.
She stared at him. How did you get to be so confident?
He leaned back in his chair, echoing her stance. Im Alpha.
She shook her head. Im Alpha too. And I dont feel it.
Going away for a while... He rubbed the back of his neck. My parents werent Alpha, but I was cocky enough they knew I would be. I didnt want to leave home, but I learned a lot about myself while I was away. He glanced up, a sharper look in his eye. Is that why youre always flying out?
She looked down at her beer. Maybe. Or not. I didnt want it at all, really. She took another hurried sip, swallowing hard when the beer foamed up. I never told anyone that.
Never wanted... His expression stilled. Never wanted to be Alpha?
My grandmother was disappointed my mother wasnt Alpha. I think Mom had me just to silence the long-suffering sighs.
She couldnt have known youd be Alpha.
Merrilee shrugged. The Alpha strain ran in families, so of course the chances had been good. I dont blame either of them. I just wish...
He watched her closely. Someone else could take your place.
Even though she tried to stay loose in the chair with the help of her exhaustion and the good beer, every muscle tightened, coming to alert at the mere threat.
He gave her a fainter smile. Or not.
She groaned. Its like another beast inside me. As if it wasnt crowded enough in here.
Like the military, being Alpha is an honorable duty.
She scowled at him. You think I dont know that?
But its also a pleasure. He pushed out of his chair and sauntered around his desk to perch on the edge in front of her. Hooking a toe through the leg of her chair, he rolled her closer. After all, you get to tell people what to do.
She lifted her chin when her knees bumped against his. You dont get to tell me what to do.
And weirdly enough, that is an even greater pleasure. He leaned down to brace his hands on her thighs and stare into her eyes. So why dont you try it. Tell me what to do.
She opened her mouth to tell him to back off, but what came out was, Kiss me.
He smelled of iron and night, and his mouth was as hot as a forge. He kissed her as if it had been his idea.
He hauled her up into his arms, and the flex of muscle made her pulse jump in answer. She wanted that strength inside her, but...
She pulled back a scant inch. No. Beck. We dont have time for this. The phae... My pack meets at dawn... I have to go.
I locked your car keys in the safe.
What?
I hear you bite when someone messes with your keys, but even a wereling cant bite through iron.
She struggled against his grip. You cant
But I did. And you cant keep pushing yourself to do it all. Thats what you said before, but thats not what an Alpha does. You have a strong pack, Merrilee. Let them do their work. Your only job is to lead them.
Only? A harsh laugh that sounded too much like a sob escaped her.
Only, but not alone. He ran his hand over her hair, a soothing gesture that nevertheless forced her to look up at him. Im here.
He kissed her again, and with another flex of his arms, he was carrying her up the stairs. Not just to the bar, but up another flight, to his apartment above. Shed seen the lights in the upstairs windows once or twicemaybe three times, or possibly morewhen shed driven through town, but shed never been up to his rooms.
The paneling was even older than his favorite T-shirts, but the space had an almost Zen-inspired simplicity with clean Mission furniture and simple Kashmiri rugs softening the wood floors. Except for all the bookshelves; those were overflowing with dog-eared paperbacks. Shed have to tease him about eating his homework. And maybe buy him an e-reader.
That was the only glimpse she got before he headed for the bedroom. She saw the Chinese blouse shed worn to New York folded neatly on a corner chair, but then he was carrying her to the tiny bath.
He twisted on the shower with one hand while lifting off her dress with the other, the brush of his fingers raising shivers over her skin. There were certain benefits to a very small bath.
This is why you ditched poor Nally, she murmured.
I wanted to stash the good doctor in a safe place. And thats not around me when I want you.
As steam rose around them, turning to silver smoke in the light of the moon through the small window, she watched him strip out of the borrowed clothes.
You look even better naked, she said.
You dont mind... His hand hovered above his marred ribs. Its ugly.
I mind what almost happened to you because of them. She settled her hands on his hips, her thumbs brushing the twist of scars. And you know perfectly well how sexy you are.
You can have me this way anytime you ask. He lifted them both into the shower.
Im asking.
Coming right up then.
He did, too, kissing her under the stream of water until she was gasping, then perfectly angling into her with his body slick with water, hers wet with wanting him.
He held her easily, one hand under her ass and the other against the wall, his cock stretching and stroking her core. She clutched at his shoulders, tightening her fingers on the muscle as if she could claim that power.
Like the morning, her orgasm came faster than she wanted. She struggled to hold back, but he felt so good, so right, inside her.
Stop fighting it, he whispered against her hair. Stop fighting me.
The soft, fierce command made her come, her inner ring of muscles tightening around him while waves of pleasure spread outward.
He threw back his head, and the groan wrenching through him seemed dredged from the very root of his cock, so deep was the sound. It vibrated her bones, and she climaxed again as he surged inside her.
Even his strong arms were trembling by the time they caught their breath and he eased out of her. He let her slide carefully down the wall.
She locked her knees, embarrassed at the urge to keep sliding into a limp puddle at his feet.
Before the water could wash the last evidence from her skin, he lifted her out of the shower and wrapped her in a towel. He knelt to dry her legs.
I can do that, she muttered.
But why, when I am here? He smiled up at her, white teeth flashing in the gloom. Learn to delegate.
His hands were better, gentler than her own rough efficiency, both soothing and exciting.
She touched his bent head, the tousled locks so like the coarse silk of his wolf pelt. How can you do that?
The miracle of good towels? Its amazing, isnt it?
She almost let the moment slip away; finding the words was harder than the first time shed gone hunting field mice in thatch. But somehow she knew she had to keep digging. How do you kneel without feeling...small?
When he looked up again, his gaze was serious. It doesnt change who I am. Or what I am. He stood with an easy swiftness that made her breath catch. And it doesnt change you.
But
Were not all-powerful, babe. He caught her hand against his scarred belly. Dont learn that like I did: the hard way. Youre smart enough and strong enough to know when you dont have to do it all yourself.
The thought of not being alone was so tempting, her fingers clenched with wanting it, wanting him. She closed her eyes tight to squeeze away a suspicious stinging and boosted herself up to kiss him.
He took it like his due, which once upon a time would have made her livid, but somehow the water and his touch seemed to have smoothed away her ire. We only have a few hours, he said when she slid down. Lets make the most of it.
She thought that meant something dirty, now that they were all clean, but when he carried her to the bed and pulled back the navy flannel sheets, he laid her down and only pulled her into the curve of his arm, her head cushioned on his shoulder.
She lay stiffly against him for a heartbeat. And?
He kissed her forehead. Put your thigh over mine.
What?
Its called snuggling.
I know that. Tentatively, she crooked her leg. I saw a movie once.
He chuckled, bouncing her head a bit.
Her arm flat against her side felt out of place, unbalanced, so she placed that on his chest. Now the heavy thud of his heart echoed under her ear and her palm, seeming to connect through her body.
From her position, her view to the nightstand included a small framed plaque with a medal pinned in the center. Is that your Silver Star? When his uncle had named him Alpha, of course everyone in the valley had looked him up on the internet him, so she knew hed received the medal for pulling two fellow soldiers to safety despite the wound that had earned him the Purple Heart and his belly of scars.
His arm tightened on her. Like there arent enough stars in the sky around here.
She thumped his chest at his deprecating tone. Is that why you keep it right where you can see it? A night light?
He grumbled under his breath. Its a reminder.
Of what?
His aggrieved sigh ruffled her hair. I was a bad kid, but... I got a shiny gold and silver star eventually. On the back it says Gallantry in Action. Not just gallantry. Not just action. Those are easy, you know? But both at the same time?
She tucked her chin to his chest. Thats an Alpha.
Yeah. And I want to remember that. Now go to sleep. His murmur was less command than entreaty. Ill get you home before the sun rises.
With his promise and his heartbeat quieting her, she slept.
Ice rimed the world the next morning, which made the instant oatmeal and equally instant coffee more delicious than they had the right to be. Merrilee hummed her appreciation as she waited for Beck to retrieve her keys from the safe.
He frowned at her. Thats nothing. You need to try my omelets.
She smiled around the chunks of brown sugar. Youre lucky Im not biting you for stealing my keys. She gazed past him at the vial of purple spores. Such little things to cause such trouble.