Just what do you think youre doing? he demanded.
She shrugged. You seem to have this obscure need for penance of some kind, and theres no time for it. I wouldnt be much of a Goddess if I couldnt satisfy both needs at the same time, now would I? She raised her pipes. Do you have any favorites youd like to hear?
Youre actually serious, arent you?
Yes. She breathed another little trill into the pipes.
He glared at her for a moment, and then he gave up. Can we talk about this? he asked her.
Youve come to your senses? Already? Amazing.
He looked around at the island. Where is this place? he asked curiously.
The Child Goddess shrugged. Wherever I want it to be. I carry it with me everyplace I go. Were you serious about what you were just thinking, Sparhawk? Were you really going to snatch up Bhelliom, grab Khalad by the scruff of the neck, leap onto Farans back and try to ride off in three directions at the same time?
All Vanion and the others are doing is talking, Aphrael, and the talk isnt going anywhere.
Did you speak with Bhelliom about this notion of yours?
The decision is mine, Aphrael. Ehlanas my wife.
How brave you are, Sparhawk. Youre making a decision that involves the Bhelliom without even consulting it. Dont be misled by its seeming politeness, Father. Thats just a reflection of its archaic speech. It wont do something it knows is wrong, no matter how sorry youre feeling for yourself, and if you grow too insistent, it might just decide to create a new sunabout six inches from your heart.
I have the rings, Aphrael. Im still the one giving the orders.
She laughed at him. Do you really think the rings mean anything, Sparhawk? They have no control over Bhelliom at all. That was just a subterfuge that concealed the fact that it has an awarenessand a will and purpose of its own. It can ignore the rings any time it wants to.
Then why did it need me?
Because youre a necessity, Sparhawklike wind or tide or rain. Youre as necessary as Klael isor Bhelliomor me, for that matter. Someday well have to come back here and have a long talk about necessity, but were a little pressed for time right now.
And was that little virtuoso performance of yours yesterday another necessity as well? Would the world have come to an end if you hadnt held that public conversation with yourself?
What I did yesterday was useful, Father, not necessary. I am who I am, and I cant change that. When Im going through one of these transitions, there are usually people around who know both of the little girls, and they start noticing the similarities. I always make it a point to have the girls meet each other in public. It puts off tiresome questions and lays unwanted suspicions to rest.
You terrified Mmrr, you know.
She nodded. Ill make it up to her. Thats always been a problem. Animals can see right through my disguises. They dont look at us in the way that we look at each other.
He sighed. What am I going to do, Aphrael?
I was hoping that a visit here would bring you back to your senses. A stopover in reality usually has that effect.
He looked up at her private, rainbow-colored sky. This is your notion of reality?
Dont you like my reality?
Its lovely, he told her, absently stroking the white deers neck, but its a dream.
Are you really sure about that, Sparhawk? Are you so certain that this isnt reality and that other place isnt the dream?
Dont do that. It makes my head hurt. What should I do?
Id say that your first step ought to be to have a long conversation with Bhelliom. All of your moping around and contemplating arbitrary decisions has it more than a little worried.
All right. Then what?
I havent gotten that far yet. She grinned at him. Im a-workin on it though, Dorlin, she added.
Theyre going to be all right, Kalten, Sparhawk said, gently laying his hand on his suffering friends shoulder.
Kalten looked up, his eyes filled with hopeless misery. Are you sure, Sparhawk?
They will be if we can just keep our heads. Ehlana was in much more danger when I came back from Render, and we took care of that, didnt we?
I suppose youre right. Kalten straightened up in his chair and jerked down his blue doublet. His face was bleak. I think Im going to find some people and hurt them, he declared.
Would you mind if I came along?
You can help if you like. Kalten rubbed at the side of his face. Ive been thinking, he said. You know that if you follow those orders in Kragers note, hell be able to keep you plodding from one end of Tamuli to the other for the next year or more, dont you?
Do I have any choice? Theyre going to be watching me.
Let them. Do you remember how we met Berit?
He was a novice in the Chapterhouse in Cimmura, Sparhawk shrugged.
Not when I first saw him, he wasnt. I was coming back from exile in Lamorkand, and I stopped at a roadside tavern outside of Cimmura. Berit was there with Kurik, and he was wearing your armor. Ive known you since we were children, and even I couldnt tell that he wasnt you. If I couldnt tell, Kragers spies certainly wont be able to. If somebody has to plod around Tamuli, let Berit do it. You and I have better things to do.
Sparhawk was startled. Thats the best idea Ive heard yet. He looked around at the others. Could I have your attention, please? he said. They all looked sharply at him, their faces apprehensive. Its time to get to work, he told them. Kalten here just reminded me that weve used Sir Berit as a decoy in the past. Berit and I are nearly the same size, and my armor fits him more or lessand with his visor down, nobody can really tell that he isnt me. If we can prevail on him to masquerade as a broken-down old campaigner again, we might just be able to prepare a few surprises for Krager and his friends.
You dont even have to ask, Sparhawk, Berit said.
Get some details before you volunteer like that, Berit, Khalad told his friend in a pained voice.
Your father used to say almost exactly the same thing, Berit recalled.
Why didnt you listen to him?
Its an interesting plan, Prince Sparhawk, Oscagne said a bit dubiously, but isnt it extremely dangerous?
Im not afraid, your Excellency, Berit protested.
I wasnt talking about your danger, young sir. Im talking about the danger to Queen Ehlana. The moment someone penetrates your disguisewell ... Oscagne spread his hands.
Then well just have to make sure that his disguise is foolproof, Sephrenia said.
He cant keep his visor down forever, Sephrenia, Sarabian objected.
I dont think hell have to, Sephrenia replied. She looked speculatively at Xanetia. Do we trust each other enough to cooperate, Anarae? she asked. Im talking about something a little deeper than weve gone so far.
I will listen most attentively to thy proposal, my sister.
Delphaeic magic is directed primarily inward, isnt it? Xanetia nodded. Thats probably why no one can hear or feel it. Styric magic is just the reverse. We alter things around us, so our magic reaches out. Neither form will work by itself in this particular situation, but if we were to combine them ... She left it hanging in the air between them.
Interesting notion, Aphrael mused.
Im not sure I follow, Vanion said.
The Anarae and I are going to have to experiment a bit, Sephrenia told him, but if what Ive got in mind works, well be able to make Berit look so much like Sparhawk that theyll be able to use each other for shaving mirrors.
As long as each of us knows exactly what the others doing, its not too difficult, Sparhawk, Sephrenia assured him later when he and Berit joined her, Vanion and the Anarae in the room she shared with Vanion.
Will it really work? he asked her dubiously.
They havent actually tried it yet, Sparhawk, Vanion told him, so were not entirely positive.
That doesnt sound too promising. This isnt much of a face, but its the only one Ive got.
There will be no danger to thee or to young Sir Berit, Anakha, Xanetia said. In times past it hath oft been necessary for my people to leave our valley and to go abroad amongst others. This hath been our means of disguising our true identity.
It works sort of like this, Sparhawk, Sephrenia explained. Xanetia casts a Delphaeic spell that would normally imprint your features on her own face, but just as she releases her spell, I release a Styric one that deflects the spell to Berit instead.
Wont every Styric in Matherion feel it when you release your spell? Sparhawk asked.
Thats the beauty of it, Sparhawk, Aphrael told him. The spell itself originates with Xanetia, and others cant feel or hear a Delphaeic spell. Cyrgon himself could be in the next room and he wouldnt hear a thing.
Youre sure its going to work?
Theres one way to find out.
Sparhawk, of course, did not feel a thing. He was only the model, after all. It was a bit disconcerting to watch Berits appearance gradually change, however. When the combined spell had been completed, Sparhawk carefully inspected his young friend. Do I really look like that from the side? he asked Vanion, feeling a bit deflated.
I cant tell the two of you apart.
That nose is really crooked, isnt it?
We thought you knew.
Ive never looked at myself from the side this way before. Sparhawk looked critically at Berits eyes. You should probably try to squint just a little, he suggested. My eyes arent as good as they used to be. Thats one of the things you have to look forward to as you get older.
Ill try to remember that. Even Berits voice was different.
Do I really sound like that? Sparhawk was crestfallen. Vanion nodded. Sparhawk shook his head. Seeing and hearing yourself as others do definitely lowers your opinion of yourself, he admitted.
He looked at Berit again. I didnt feel anything, did you?
Berit nodded, swallowing hard.
What was it like?
Id really rather not talk about it. Berit gently explored his new face with cringing fingertips, wincing as he did.
I still cant tell them apart, Kalten marveled, staring first at Berit and then at Sparhawk.
That was sort of the idea, Sparhawk told him.
Which one are you?
Try to be serious, Kalten.
Now that we know how its done, we can make some other changes as well, Sephrenia told them. Well give you all different faces so that youll be able to move around freelyand well put men wearing your faces here in the palace. I think we can all expect to be watched, even after the Harvest Festival, and this should nullify that particular problem.