I ignored him and kept my gaze straight ahead, not really in the mood for a fight or listening to his barbed, obnoxious comments. That, of course, never stopped my blood brother.
So, sister, Jackal went on, Ive been wondering. When we finally do catch up to Sarren, how do you think we should kill the old bastard? Im thinking maiming and torture for as long as we can stand it. He snapped his fingers. Hey, maybe we can tie him half in and half out of the sun, thats always interesting. Did that to some undead bastard who pissed me off several years back. The light began at his feet and crawled up toward his face, and it took a very long time for him to finally kick it. By the end, he was screaming at me to cut off his head. He snickered. Id love to watch Sarren die like that. If that doesnt offend your delicate sensibilities, that is.
He smirked then, his gold eyes burning the side of my head. Just wanted to give you a heads-up, little sister, in case you decide to go bleeding heart on me. Of course, if you have a suggestion for how we should do the old psycho in, Id love to hear it.
I dont care, I said flatly. Do whatever you want. As long as I get to land the final blow, I couldnt care less.
Jackal huffed. Well, thats not very fun.
I didnt answer, walking faster to get away from him, and he quickened his pace to keep up.
Come on, sister, wheres that obnoxious morality you kept throwing in my face every two seconds? Youre making it very difficult to take any sort of pleasure in mocking it relentlessly.
Why are you talking to me? I asked, still not looking at him. Jackal let out an exasperated sigh.
Because Im bored. And the old man doesnt give me the time of day. He jerked his head at Kanin, still several yards ahead. I suspected Kanin could hear us, but he didnt turn around or give any indication that he was listening. And Jackal probably didnt care if he was. And because I want to know your thoughts on our brilliantly disturbed serial killer. Jackal waved an impatient hand at the plains surrounding us. Its still a long way to Eden, and I get the feeling were not going to find any bloodbagsliving ones anywayfrom here to Meatsack Island. I dont particularly like the idea of facing the nut job with you and Kanin on the edge of losing it.
I flicked a glance at him and frowned. What about you?
Oh, dont worry about me, sister. Jackal grinned. I always come out on top, no matter what. I just want to point out that this annoying Scorched Earth policy Sarren has picked up is going to make it very difficult for you. A couple more days of this, and the next human we see is going to be ripped to shredsand youll be the one doing it.
I shrugged. Jackals revelation wasnt surprising, and I found that I really didnt care. Wherever Sarren went, whatever forgotten corner of the country he fled to, I wouldnt be far behind. No matter what he did, no matter how far or fast he ran, I would catch up to him, and then he would pay for what he had done. So what? I asked, returning my gaze to the road. Im a vampire. What does it matter?
Oh, please. I could hear the pity in his voice, and the disgust. Enough with this I dont care anymore shit. You know youre going to have to deal with it sometime.
A cold fist grabbed my insides. Jackal wasnt talking about feeding, and we both knew it. Memories rose upmemories of himbut then the monster emerged, swallowing them before I could feel anything. I have dealt with it, I said calmly.
No, you havent. My brothers voice was suddenly hard. Youve just buried it. And if you dont get a handle on it soon, its going to come out at the worst possible time. Probably when were facing Sarren. Because thats how the psychopaths mind workshe knows just what to say, and when, to throw us off and give him the full advantage. And then hes either going to kill you while youre down and Ill be annoyed, or Im going to have to do it myself.
Better be careful, Jackal. My voice came out cold. Empty, because I couldnt feel anything, even now. It almost sounds like you care.
Oh, well, perish the thought, sister. Jackal gave me a sneer and moved away. Ill stop talking, then. But if we reach Sarren, and he says something to make you fall apart, dont expect me to pick up the pieces.
You wont have to worry about that, I thought as Jackal walked on, shaking his head. A memory flickered, jagged and indistinct, and my inner demon pushed it back. Theres nothing left to break. Nothing Sarren says can touch me now.
We walked a few more miles, through empty flatlands frozen under a layer of snow and ice, until the stars faded and a pink hue threatened the eastern sky. I was just starting to get uncomfortable when Kanin turned off the road and headed toward a gray, dilapidated barn sagging at the end of an overgrown field, a rusting silo beside it. The inside of the ancient building was musty and filled with broken beams and stacks of moldy straw. But it was also dark, secluded, and didnt have many holes in the roof where the sun could creep through. Ignoring Jackals complaints about sleeping in a filthy, rat-infested barn, I pushed open a rotting stall door, found a shadowy corner behind a stack of rancid hay, and sank against the wall to sleep.
For just a moment, memory stirred again, like fragments of someone elses life, rising up from the dark. I remembered another barn like this one, warm and musty, filled with the soft bleats of livestock and the murmur of the humans around me. Hay and lanterns and contentment. A spotted baby goat, sitting in my lap, two human kids pressed close on either side, watching me feed it.
The monster roused. Id been Hungry then, too, and had watched as the two humans fell asleep, baring their unsuspecting little necks to the vampire theyd unwittingly curled up against. I remembered bending forward, toward the throat of the child on my lap, as my fangs lengthened and slid out of my gums...before Id caught myself in horror. Id fled the barn before I could lose control and slaughter two innocent kids in their sleep.
The monster sneered at the memory. That seemed like a long, long time ago. A lifetime ago. Now, with the Hunger clawing at my gut and burning the edges of my mind, I thought longingly of the sleeping humans, so vulnerable beside me, imagined myself leaning down the rest of the way and finishing what Id started.
The next night was more of the same. More empty plains and wilderness. More trackless snow, crunching beneath our boots, and an endless road snaking its way northeast. More of the Hunger gnawing my insides, making me irritable and savage. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, trying to ignore the ache that refused to go away. I could feel the monster within, perilously close to the surface, a cold, dark thing that growled and stirred restlessly, always searching. It could hear the shuffle of tiny feet in the darkness, raccoons or possums or other nocturnal creatures, moving through the brush. It could sense the swoop of bats overhead and smell the deep, slow breaths of deer, huddled together in the undergrowth. It wanted to attack, to pounce on some living creature and rip it open, spilling hot blood into the snow and down our throats. But it knew, as I did, that wasting energy slaughtering animals was useless. That would not satisfy the Hunger. Only one type of prey would ease the hollow emptiness inside, and that prey was nowhere to be found.
So, we walked, Kanin leading, Jackal and I trailing behind. Three vampires who didnt need to rest, who never got cold or tired or winded, traveling through a wasted world that would kill most humans. That, in all honesty, already had.
And Sarren was well on his way to finishing the job.
Kanin turned suddenly in the middle of the road, his expression alert as he gazed back at us. I paused, too, surprised and a little wary. We hadnt spoken much after leaving New Covington. The Master vampire had walked steadily onward, silent and cold, without looking back at his two offspring. That was fine with me. I didnt have much to say to him, either. There was a wall between us now. I could sense his disappointment, the look in his eyes whenever Jackal made some snide, evil comment about humans and bloodbags...and I said nothing. Not even Kanins silent disapproval would change the fact that I was a monster.
Someone is coming, Kanin said, looking at the road behind us. I turned as well, straining my senses, but there was no need. The growl of an engine cut through the darkness, getting steadily closer.
The Hunger surged to life, and, close to the surface, the monster shifted eagerly. Vehicles meant humans, which meant food. I imagined sinking my teeth into their necks, imagined the hot blood rushing into my mouth, and felt my fangs lengthen, an eager growl escaping my throat.
Get back, Kanin said, walking past me. I curled my lips at him, defiant, but his back was to me now, and he didnt notice. Get off the road, both of you, he went on, as the engine noise grew louder and headlights glimmered through the trees. Stopping for three strangers on a lonely road at night is a risk many would avoid. Better that they see a lone, unarmed traveler than a group. His voice grew harder. Get off the road, Allison.
Jackal had already moved back, melting into the darkness. Kanin wasnt even looking at me, his gaze on the approaching headlights. With a growl, I stepped off the pavement and slipped behind a large twisted tree at the side of the road. And I waited, the Hunger clawing at my insides and the demon watching with barely restrained violence.
The lights grew brighter, and around a bend came a once-white van, now more rust than metal. Kanin stepped forward, raising his arms in a flagging motion as the vehicle sped forward, bathing him in the headlights.
It didnt slow. It angled toward Kanin, sped up, and a rough-looking human poked his head out the passenger window. He grinned and raised a dull black pistol, aiming it at the stranger in the road.
Kanin jumped back as several shots rang out, flaring white in the darkness. The van squealed past with hoots and harsh laughter, and the monster surged up with a roar.
I leaped out as the van came toward me, drawing my katana as I did. As it careened by, I lashed out with a snarl, aiming for the front tire, cutting through rubber and metal with a metallic scream and a flare of sparks. The van swerved wildly, screeched over the pavement, and crashed headlong into a tree.