I frowned. He was right. I couldnt walk away now, even if I knew there was something awful waiting for me inside. Bracing myself, I took a steady breath. Open it.
Jackal shrugged. Dropping to the ground, he gripped the bars running vertically up the truck doors, tensed briefly, and threw them open with a squeal.
A wave of cold billowed out of the container, and with it the smell of blood, death, offal and human insides hit me like a slap in the face, making my stomach clench. Peering into the long, shadowy interior, I realized I had been right; what Sarren had left for us was far worse than I had imagined.
I clenched my fists, fighting the urge to turn away. Even with all the atrocities Id seen, the horrible things Sarren had done, this one took the prize. The walls original color was impossible to tell, because it was streaked floor to ceiling in blood, thick and dried and black. The floor of the container was caked with it, a congealed, slimy carpet nearly an inch thick, glistening dully in the moonlight. Humans hung on the walls, staked or nailed in place, their skin peeled back in grotesque star patterns around them. A few didnt even have skin, raw muscles and bones bared to the light, their faces twisted into masks of horror.
For a brief moment, I was relieved I was a vampire. Because if Id been human, I would have fallen to my knees on the ground and puked up my last meal. Even now, though the Hunger raged at the amount of spilled blood and the monster looked on with indifference, I felt sick. Sick, and filled with a sudden, blinding hatred. No one with even a sliver of humanity would do this. I was a monster, and I traveled in the company of monsters, but even Jackal had lines he wouldnt cross. This...depravity was just further proof that Sarren had no humanity left; he was a true demon in human skin who had killed, maimed and tortured all these people, just to prove a point. And a terrible one, at that.
On the far wall, a message glittered, stark and black. Written in blood, of course. Only, I had been wrong; this one hadnt been left for me, or Jackal, or even Kanin. No, it was far more horrible, and filled me with a cold, lingering dread.
Welcome to your future, it read. Ezekiel.
No.
Zekes voice was a strangled whisper. He stumbled back from the container, eyes wide, face contorted in agony and horror. Hitting a rusty car, he turned from the semi and its grisly contents, putting a hand against the door as if to brace himself.
No, he choked out, closing his eyes. Oh, God, I cant do this. I cant do it anymore. Bowing his head, he pressed his face into the metal, his voice dropping to a moan. Let me die, he whispered, making my insides clench. Before I become...that. Just kill me already.
Zeke. I stepped toward him, and he flinched, shoulders hunched in anguish. Look at me. He didnt raise his head, and I took another step, my voice urgent. Dammit, listen to me. Dont let Sarren get to you. This is just another one of his twisted mind games, and if you start listening, youre giving him exactly what he wants.
Because, its true, Allie. Zeke finally looked up at me, his eyes a little wild. I blinked as that searing, glassy blue gaze met mine. You dont know me anymore, Zeke whispered. You dont know what Ive done. Those people in the barn, they werent the only humans I killed. I helped Sarren murder an entire village, kill every soul there. His eyes closed, and he dropped his head into his hands. And then, when we were done, we strung their bodies from a tree and painted a wall with their blood.
My stomach turned. I remembered the slaughtered outpost, the tree of corpses and the barn streaked with blood. Zeke had done that, been a part of it. I realized how blind Id been. If I had done that, even if it was under a compulsion, I wasnt certain I could live with myself, either.
It haunts me, every night, Zeke whispered, clutching at his hair. I cant get their screams out of my head. But no matter how much that disgusts me, no matter how much I hate myself for it...theres a part of me that wants to do it again. And it will never go away, will it? He looked up, and his eyes stabbed at me, almost accusing. Im always going to feel like this, like Im going to explode if I cant hunt down a human and tear it apart.
I bit my lip as he paused, waiting for my answer. I didnt want to say it, to confirm what he already knew, but I wouldnt lie to him. No, I whispered. No, the Hunger will never go away. He turned away, and I stepped forward, desperate to talk him down, to give him some kind of hope. But you can control it, Zeke. We all have to learn to fight it. Thats part of what being a vampire is.
But Im going to slip up one day. Zekes voice was low, defeated. One day, I wont be able to resist. And it will be the barn all over again. And I couldnt answer, couldnt deny it, because I knew that was true. That, one day, he would slip up. There was no question in my mind. Kanins own words came back to me, that warning hed given, not so very long ago, when I first became a vampire.
Sometime in your life, Allison Sekemoto, you will kill a human being. Accidentally or as a conscious, deliberate act. It is unavoidable. The question is not if it will happen, but when.
That held true for Zeke now, as well. And we both knew it.
What if I get to Eden, Zeke went on, and I cant control myself? The people there, my family, they wont suspect anything. What if Caleb or Bethany come running up to me, and I... He closed his eyes, unable to continue, his face twisted with loathing. I cant do it, Zeke whispered, his voice choked but resolved. I cant go to Eden, not like this. Go on without me.
I am not leaving you behind, Zeke. Anger and panic flared, and I bared my fangs at him. I would not lose him now, either to Sarrens twisted games or his own guilt. Atrocities aside, I had to make him see that he wasnt alone.
Do you think youre the only one whos gone through this? I demanded. Do you remember all those times I said we couldnt be together, because you were a human and I was a vampire? When I told you I couldnt go to Eden, because I was afraid I would kill someone? Remember what you told me, then? You said Im not a monster, and Im not evil. Why is it different for you?
Because I am a monster! Zeke snarled back. His fangs flashed as he whirled around, glaring at me. This is what I am, Allison! Im a demonyou know it as well as me.
Oh, for fucks sake!
Jackal abruptly shoved himself off the truck and came stalking forward, eyes glowing yellow, his lips curled into a grimace of disgust. Puppy, I am getting so tired of listening to you whine about this, he snarled at Zeke. This isnt rocket science. If you dont want to be a monster, dont be a bloody monster! Be an uptight stick in the mud like Kanin. Be a self-righteous bleeding heart like Allison. Or you can stop agonizing about it and be a fucking monster, its actually a lot of fun. He narrowed his eyes as Zeke and I stared at him, stunned. But for the love of piss, make some sort of decision. If you dont want to eat babies and nail bloodbags to walls, thats your choice. What Sarren did or made you do in the past has nothing to do with it now. Youre a vampire. Do whatever the hell you want.
Zeke blinked, still in a state of shock, but I bristled and stepped forward, baring my fangs at my brother. That isnt fair, Jackal, I growled. He never wanted to Turn. Sarren forced this on him
And you, Jackal interrupted, turning on me, are part of the problem. Bitching and crying because hes not acting like a human anymore. Heres a news flash, sister. Hes not human anymore. He doesnt need you holding his hand every time a kitten dies. Maybe when he was a mewling, pathetic meatsack, he needed some kind of protection, but hes one of us now. Or he would be, if you didnt act like it was the end of the world because he likes the taste of blood. Stop treating him like a mortal and let him be a bloody vampire.
Taken aback, I fell silent, and for a moment, we all stared at each other. The wind picked up, blowing the scent of death and mutilated corpses into the road, and the rabids lay scattered around us like fallen limbs, bloody and broken. It caught Jackals duster, causing it to billow out behind him as he glared at us, his expression twisted with mockery and disgust. Behind him, Zekes face had gone blank again, glassy blue eyes staring out at nothing.
Then Kanin stepped into the circle, his voice weary but calm. Dawn is nearly upon us, he said, giving no hints to his thoughts, his feelings about the sudden outburst between his two offspring. I suggest we get out of the open. This conversation will have to wait until tomorrow night.
That ended it. With a final, disgusted snort, Jackal turned and stalked off down the road, shaking his head. He didnt look back, and within moments, the raider king had slipped between the sea of scattered cars and disappeared from sight.
Allison. Kanin looked at me, his dark eyes impassive. Take Ezekiel and find a place to sleep. Try to stay close. Ill find you both this evening.
Right, I murmured, and Kanin too, disappeared, melting into the darkness surrounding us, leaving me and Zeke alone.
I glanced at Zeke, who hadnt moved from his spot next to the car, and jerked my head toward a peeling, two-story house on the corner of the street. Come on, I said quietly. Lets get out of the open.
He didnt say anything, just followed me across the road, over a sagging picket fence, and through a weed-choked yard to the steps of the house. Inside, rubble covered the floor, and the walls were cracked and peeling, showing rotting boards beneath, but it was in better shape than most empty houses Id seen. A fireplace sat crumbling against the back wall, bricks scattered over the floor, and a gutted armchair lay overturned in front of it, covered in moss.
I spotted a staircase against a wall and motioned Zeke toward it, knowing the bedrooms would probably be on the second floor. The creaking, groaning stairs took us to an equally noisy hallway, with a trio of doors that led to individual rooms. The largest had a rusty brass bed and a mattress big enough for two people, but it also had several windows that faced east and nothing to cover them with. The room across the hall was smaller, but its one window was already boarded up, so in that regard, it was an easy choice. Of course, there were other factors to take into account.