He grabbed her hand. If you dont want me, youd say so.
She knew to her bones that if he kept touching her, shed lie in his bed tonight. Someone might see.
I dont care. Tell me.
His touch set her blood ablaze, shooting hot and urgent to the pit of her belly. What use is this? she asked in angry despair, struggling to withdraw. Youre marrying Lady Marianne.
His gaze focused on her lips, making them tingle as if he kissed her. Once, I wanted to marry you.
Bitterness welled. When you thought you could mold me into what you wanted. Before my familys eccentricities tumbled over into full-scale scandal with Peters ruin.
Shed cut off her right hand to hear him deny her assertions, but of course, he didnt. He wouldnt lie to her. She respected that even as she loathed it. Lady Marianne will make the perfect duchess.
Pain lanced through her as she acknowledged that hed never have said that about Penelope Thorne, even before her bohemian wanderings. Do you love her?
He snatched his hand free and his jaw hardened with the rejection familiar whenever anyone mentioned love. Youre mistaken to think that love is a requirement for a happy marriage.
Youre mistaken to think that its not, she snapped back.
My parents were in love. For a short time.
Your parents were always children dressed as grown-ups.
He glared down his daunting nose. You venture on dangerous territory.
She drew herself to her full height. Temper made her speak in a rush. Why? You speak freely to me. Her tone eased. Cam, I know this attraction is a pest. But its not so surprising. Were two healthy adults confined to each others company. It would be unnatural not to demonstrate a little curiosity.
A bitter smile twisted his lips. Thats a facile explanation.
For a sizzling interval, their eyes met. She knew that, like her, he remembered her standing naked before him.
Then the shutters crashed down over his expression. She felt disoriented. Hed lured her up to a door, then slammed it in her face.
Still, she was grateful when Cams fierceness ebbed. It had been torture to hear him speak his need aloud and know that it wasnt enough, it could never be enough.
As if by common consent, they turned toward the sea that tomorrow became their highway. Somewhere down there his yacht lay at anchor. If winds were favorable, theyd be in England within a fortnight.
A silence descended. At first, it was heavy with suppressed passion, but gradually it became something softer and kinder. As his voice was softer and kinder when he spoke. Pen, why are you so determined to go into exile? What are you running away from?
You.
Shed spent the last nine years fleeing this man she loved but who could never love her. Despite excitement and adventure, despite playing a sophisticate in a sophisticated world, she hadnt run toward anything. What a lowering admission.
I enjoy my life. Apart from a constant ache that no spectacular scenery or charming admirers or glamorous intrigues banished.
Youd enjoy London.
I doubt it. People at home are more conservative than here. English society wont accept me with open arms.
I would.
Pen couldnt help herself. She laughed. It was either laugh or cry. If she cried, he might guess how it would crush her to leave him. No, Cam. Im not throwing myself into your arms under any circumstances.
He didnt laugh. He looked disturbed and angry. That dangerous hum in the air returned. Fatalistically she recognized that it had never gone away. Pen, Im trying my best to remember that Im an honorable man.
She sobered, telling herself that she couldnt allow him to compromise his principles. But how easy it would be to ignore what was right when for the sake of a little sin, he could be hers. However briefly. Physically if not emotionally.
She could cross a mere foot of space and kiss him. If she knew anything about menand at twenty-eight, she shouldthe slightest encouragement would shatter his restraint.
Unfortunately, she whispered before she could stop herself.
The hum rose to overwhelm every other sound.
Then he stepped back and bowed. Even as hunger darkened his eyes, he spoke with the chill politeness shed heard too often on this journey. This evening, theyd spoken like friends. Or lovers. Now she watched Cam draw the shades over that intimacy. I wont act the cad. My familys reputation is at stake. If I tumble you, I prove that all my work to restore the family honor has been in vain.
Shed known that. Still, rejection hurt. She bent her head, not wanting him to see how he wounded her.
A couple emerged onto the terrace from the inn. The lady paused and spoke with joyful recognition. Even worse, in the clipped accents of an upper-class Englishwoman. Miss Thorne, what a wonderful surprise.
Chapter Nine
Prescott Place, Wiltshire, March 1828
She came to him through the sweet new greenery like a forest spirit, although there was nothing unearthly about the woman he seized in his arms. She was all warm, passionate femininity.
Harry kissed Sophie until they were both breathless. Then he kissed her some more. You got away.
His asinine comment sparked amusement. Obviously.
This past week, Sophie had joined a house party given by one of Leaths political cronies. Despite Harrys best efforts, his pursuit of Sophie had attracted attention. Leath had removed her from London to separate her from young Mr. Thorne. A note channeled via Sophies maid had put paid to that plan.
Harry kissed Sophie again. His blood heated as she answered with eager dips and swirls of her tongue. Still a little unsure of herself but gaining in confidence every minute.
Sweetheart, Ive missed you so much, he said brokenly, punctuating every word with kisses.
Theyd only kissed once before, and the craving to do it again had kept him sleepless and grumpy. Theyd managed three more meetings in Hyde Park and a couple of circumspect dances. Here in Sir Garth Burtons woods on a sleepy afternoon, nobody was likely to interrupt. Harry had sworn he wouldnt lose his head. But after one glimpse of his beloved, moderation flew to Hades.
Ive missed you too, Sophie murmured unsteadily, her hands working on Harrys shoulders as if she hardly believed that he was there.
Its been an eternity. He trailed his lips down her throat, nipping the curve of her shoulder until she trembled.
Its only a week.
You speak lightly of my pain, he whispered into her skin.
Ive thought of you every minute. She slid her hands under his coat, bringing him closer.
Ive thought of you too.
He backed her into a conveniently placed tree and touched her in earnest. Learning the curve of waist and hip, the slender line of her back. Careful of her innocence, he kept his hips from sliding against hers.
Her hands slid daringly lower. Astonished gratification shook him, although those eager fingers digging into his buttocks threatened control.
He stared at her through dazed eyes. Passion flushed her creamy skin and her blue eyes were heavy with desire. She looked rosy and approachable, a different creature from the golden-haired debutante hed first met. She wore a cobalt walking dress, fastened down the front with hussar frogging and with a high collar, askew thanks to Harrys attentions.
He rested his forehead against hers, sharing her breath. She smelled marvelous. Like the vibrant spring that burst into life around them. Shed brought him to life. He wondered if she knew.
Harry? He caught the confusion in her voice.
He lifted his head. Sophie, Im trying to act the gentleman.
She smiled, her lips moist and swollen. You dont have to.
He groaned. He really didnt need to hear her say that. Not if he meant to retain some honor. Of course I do.
Her smile broadened and the light in her blue eyes filled his world with color. More, painted his world with rainbows. I want you to touch me.
You test my restraint. He kissed her again, hot and voracious. His heart crashed against his ribs as she curled into him.
I dont want to be restrained. She clutched his shoulders.
With shaking hands, he parted the frogging on her dress. Hed take things a little further then stop. Dear heaven, let him find the strength to stop.
Control shuddered closer to fraying as her dress sagged open. The pink pearls of her nipples pushed against her delicate shift. With a groan, he bent and sucked one perfect bud. Her choked cry echoed in his ears. Knowing he ventured toward the point of no return, he cupped her other breast and rubbed his palm across her nipple. She arched until her belly bumped him.
With sudden ruthlessness, he pushed the lacy edge down to reveal her breasts. Better than his dreams. Thoughts of her nakedness had fueled his fantasies, waking and sleeping, since hed found her crying in Lord Oldhavens garden. He drew back to feast upon the sight.
Youre so beautiful. Reverently he stroked her pale skin.
He kissed the tip of her breast. The act conveyed homage more than desire, although desire surged powerful enough to shake his principles.
She breathed unsteadily. I feel beautiful when Im with you. She bit her lip. I never have before.
Her vulnerability defeated the ravening beast inside him. Grateful and disappointed in equal measure, he sighed and stepped back. Because he loved her, he said what hed always known to be true. You deserve better than me.
She looked suddenly distraught. Have I disgusted you?
Harrys gut lurched. If anyone should feel ashamed, it was him. Hell, no, Sophie. Youre glorious, perfect, an angel.
With shaking hands, she tugged at her bodice but the complicated fastenings were beyond her. No angel lets a man strip her naked in public.
Sophie, youre human. Very gentlyand with a wicked regret that he couldnt stiflehe restored her to respectability.
A little too human today, she muttered.
Dont be so hard on yourself. Desire is perfectly natural. It was too early for declarations. Theyd only known each other a few weeks, and their meetings had been short and snatched from the teeth of scandal. But she needed to know that he wasnt toying with her. Desire is part of love.
She went completely still. Her hands dropped to her sides and her eyes opened wide as if she strove to see him with absolute clarity, perhaps to check whether he lied. Love, Harry?