Youre an optimist. She sighed and the resistance seeped from her body. Cam, can you give me some time? Surely we dont have to decide everything tonight. Its been a long and difficult day.
Guilt, his constant companion, stabbed deep. It had been a long and difficult few months. Shed lost both aunt and brother, and faced death several times. Hed risen to take her in his arms before he remembered that his embrace was the last thing she wanted. He subsided into his chair and surveyed her discontentedly.
A bride proved more bewildering than any mistress. His sympathy went out to the Grand Turk with his hundreds of wives. Then all impulse to amusement fled when he saw his wifes closed expression. Pen
She raised her hand. Not yet.
With that he must be content. It had been a devil of a wedding night.
Chapter Twenty-One
After dinner, Cam accompanied his wife upstairs. For a day and a half, hed been a married man. The experience bore no resemblance to his expectations. For a start, hed kept his hands to himself. Being with Pen without touching herwhen he had every legal and moral right to roger her from here to Chinawas a torture he wouldnt inflict on his worst enemy.
Hed woken with the dawn in his own bed, rigid with longing, miserable, lonely, feeling like a dog someone had kicked into the gutter. And sick with guilt over hurting Pen. At breakfast, to his bewilderment hed encountered a stranger. This tranquil, restrained woman wasnt Pen. Pen was impulsive and opinionated and ready to shoot a man if he wronged her. Yet this morning shed played the perfect duchess. It could have been Lady Marianne facing him over the marmalade.
And Cam had loathed it.
Hed burned to wrench his wife from her chair and muss her neat perfection. Then fling her across the polished table and do things likely to make the butler resign.
But hed behaved himself, although just being in the same room was torment.
The only logical choice, given his brides reluctance for his company, was to devote the day to business that had accumulated during his absence. So why then had he found himself showing Pen every nook and cranny of the vast house? And in return, all shed expressed was polite interest. Not once had she called him a blockhead or objected to an arrogant remark. He worried if perhaps last night hed done her brain some injury.
Now, confused, unhappy, and shamingly randy, he trailed after her into the duchesss cave of a bedroom.
Pen turned with an expression of well-bred surprise that hed never seen before. Your Grace, what are you doing?
Cam glared at her. Why the hell are you your grace-ing me? Youve called me Cam since you were toddling.
She flushed. As you wish. But Id still like to know what youre doing.
He shut the door with a sharp click. Im coming to bed with my wife.
Her eyes widened with alarm. Now?
He stalked toward her, tugging off his neckcloth and tossing it to the ground. Now.
You said youd let me think about it.
Clearly a welcome was too much to expect. He shrugged off his coat and flung it across the room. Have you?
She retreated again. Have I what?
Impatiently he flicked open the silver buttons on his silk waistcoat. Have you thought about it?
She frowned as if questioning his sanity. Of course I have.
He let the waistcoat fall where he stood. Good. No need to call your maid. Ill undress you.
At last Pen stood her ground. Why are you doing this?
His smile was mocking. My dear, you might be innocent, but youre not that innocent.
She raised her chin and regarded him like hed crawled out from under a rock. In a sewer. Im not ready.
Its like falling off a horse. You need to get straight back on. He was deliberately crass to provoke a reaction. Shed been a blank slate all day.
Im not your horse, she said cuttingly.
Briefly she disappeared from view as he tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it near the crumpled blue waistcoat. If we wait too long, youll convince yourself that the experience was so awful that you never want to repeat it.
She arched an eyebrow, although he didnt miss how her eyes focused on his bare chest. Last night hed found grounds for hope in the way shed looked at him. His nakedness had intrigued rather than disgusted her.
Too long is more than a day?
Yes.
She backed until she bumped into the high bed. I dont think so.
Briefly he considered undoing his trousers, but a glance at her outraged expression told him that might be a step too far. I do.
Briefly he considered undoing his trousers, but a glance at her outraged expression told him that might be a step too far. I do.
Hurrah for you, she said sourly, clasping her hands before her. She breathed unevenly.
Cam suspected that despite her nervousness, she was interested, however reluctantly. But hed learned to be careful with assumptions about Penelope. Yesterday you promised to obey me.
Rebellion darkened her eyes. Yesterday you said you wanted more than mere duty.
He was grateful to see a spark of spirit. Ive changed my mind. If mere duty is all youre offering, Ill take it.
Youll regret this. She sidled along the bed.
He stepped closer, deliberately crowding her without touching her. I doubt it.
If Lady Marianne had given him mere duty, hed have accepted it. From Pen? Never. Before hed blasted everything to hell, hed tasted her passion. He meant to do more than taste her tonight.
Cam, I dont want to do this, she said shakily, still twisting her hands together.
He cupped her jaw. Self-disgust flooded him when she jumped. Shed enjoyed his touch on the yacht. Until hed been an idiot. Shed enjoyed his touch last night. Until hed been an idiot.
The lesson for tonight was not to be an idiot.
Cam sucked in a breath, striving to calm his racing heart. He had time. He had patience. He had the skills. And tonight she wouldnt take him by surprise. The new Duchess of Sedgemoor didnt know it, but her world was about to change. Forever.
In a subtle caress, he moved his hand against her face. Courage, Pen.
She broke the contact. Im not feeling brave.
He reminded himself that coaxing his wife to pleasure wouldnt be quick or easy. But the reward was worth it. He didnt do this only for himself. He did it for Pen. Such a sensual woman shouldnt fear a mans touch. She should revel in it. Hed make her forget that hed ever hurt her. Tonight Im going to show you paradise.
That remark elicited a derisive snort, but at least she stopped edging away. He was close enough to see her trembling. I wasnt anywhere near paradise last time.
He raised his eyebrows. Really? Even before I spoiled everything?
He was gratified to see her color rise. She avoided his searching regard. Damn it, why hadnt he had the brains to understand that her shyness signified more than coyness?
Pen?
With a flash of temper that pleased him even more than her blush, she jerked her head up. Ive forgotten.
He laughed appreciatively. Little liar.
Stop trying to inveigle your way into my bed.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
She folded her arms and surveyed him without favor. A night of self-castigation and a day of struggling to keep his distance lent him the wisdom to remain silent.
If I say no?
He sighed, defeat beating around him like a hundred angry ravens. Ill leave you alone.
How reassuring, she said sarcastically. Her arms fell in surrender to her sides. Im at your service, Your Grace.
If anyone but Pens husband had asked her to revisit yesterdays disaster, shed threaten him with the nearest fire iron.
But she owed Cam more than shed ever realized. Shed always known that for her sake, hed relinquished the perfect bride, a big society wedding, a connection with an influential family. Shed had no idea that he had wed a woman whose name was synonymous with sin, however ill-deserved her reputation. This marriage had done Cam a greater wrong than shed imagined.
She swallowed to moisten a mouth dry with nerves, and told herself she could endure his possession. But dread hollowed her stomach. Along with a roiling soup of other emotions that included unwilling attraction, contrition, resentmentand ineradicable love. When during her sleepless night, shed resolved to become a proper duchess even if it killed her, shed known that her proud spirit wouldnt bow easily. But imagining oneself a conformable wife and playing the part proved very different.
His green eyes were grave. Trust me.
Ill have to, wont I? she said grumpily, before recalling that a conformable wife wouldnt snipe.
He caught one of her clenched fists. Well go slowly.
She shivered. Not entirely with fear. Id rather get it over with.
He kissed her knuckles until her fingers relaxed. Youll change your mind.
She didnt believe him. Her belly lurched as she recalled the dizzying drop from the heights of excitement to the act itself.
He released her. Turn around.
Why?
His lips twitched. Ill help you undress.
Is it necessary? All the same, she turned. It was a relief to escape his glittering gaze. He looked smug, like he knew a great secret. He also looked like he wanted to make a meal of her. Neither quieted her jangling agitation.
He untied the wide olive satin ribbon that cinched the gown so unnaturally high. Absolutely.
She caught the gown as it sagged over her bosom. We need to do something about my clothes.
Skillfully he unlaced the back. I am doing something about your clothes.
She felt no desire to laugh. Her knees trembled as she stepped from the crumpled gown. You know what I mean.
Yes, I do. Deft fingers released her corset. And, yes, I will. But not tonight.
Her stomach quaked as his hands brushed her bare shoulders. Then quaked again at the salute of his lips on one shoulder blade, then the other.
No, not tonight. Her voice was thready. Shall I shall I take off my shift?
Not yet.
She couldnt help noticing how his voice deepened on yet.
His fingers slowly sketched a cobweb of heat over her skin. Shed never counted her back or shoulders as erotic zones, but he set her tingling. Under her upswept hair, he massaged her nape. Warmth flooded her right to her toes. Goose bumps broke out and her nipples tightened into aching points.