I stared at him, silently daring him to look away. Then I showed up making more waves, but Im young, so they tried to make me a slave instead.
Yes, he said, his gaze boring into mine while varying emotions flitted across his features. Disgust, anger and the most telling of all. Guilt.
You did that to people, too. My accusation filled the space between us, creating an invisible barrier that seemed to grow with every second.
Yes, I did. Something too bitter to be a smile twisted his mouth. I told you, for a while, the demons had convinced me that humans were no better than they were. Just more hypocritical, because on this side, human slavers, murderers and oppressors were called dictators, kings and presidents, if they did it to enough people. Only the humans who did it to just a few were called criminals.
Our race has issues, I acknowledged, still holding his stare. Doesnt excuse what you or the rest of them did.
No, Ivy, it doesnt, he replied, his voice very soft. And I see the faces of everyone I harmed whenever I close my eyes. Thats why I started working for Zach. Every person I save feels like washing a drop of blood from my hands, but deep down, I know Ill never even the score. Some things cant be atoned for, and all the lives Ive saved will never restore the ones Ive taken or ruined.
I wanted to believe the regret resonating in his tone. Wanted to trust the pain etched on his features, or the look in his eyes that seemed to urge me to revile him for all the things he reviled himself for. But Jasmines lifeand minehung in the balance, so I couldnt trust him. Hed told me that enough times, and this time, Id believe him.
I looked away and forced out a shaky laugh. I dont know about you, but I could really use a beer. Arent there still some that didnt get used for target practice in the trunk?
He didnt say anything. I sneaked a glance at him. Adrian still sat exactly as he had been, his elbows braced on his legs while he leaned forward. The only thing new was his frown.
After everything I just said, your response is to start drinking?
More than a hint of disbelief tinged his tone. I scrambled for a convincing reply and found myself answering with the truth. Part of it, anyway.
You might want to keep stewing over all the horrible things in your past, but I want to move forward. Right now, that involves getting a drink.
A slight snort escaped him. Guess there are worse ways to move on with our lives.
He went to the door, but as he opened it, I couldnt stop from asking a question that had nagged at me. This was the last chance Id get, even if his answer was just another lie.
Forget our roles, fates, whatever for a minute. When its all said and done, who do you think is going to win this war? Archons or demons?
He half turned. Though his face was only in profile, I could see that his expression matched the absolute certainty in his tone when he spoke.
Archons.
I let out a short laugh. Is it me, or do they seem outnumbered? Ive seen several demons, but only one of them.
Youre right, theyre outnumbered. Something else lurked in his voice now. A pained sort of wistfulness. When its light versus dark, that doesnt matter. One shadow in a brightly lit room goes unnoticed, but shine a ray of light into even the darkest corner...and everything changes.
Then he left, splitting my emotions right down the middle. If he believed Archons would win, how could he betray me to the losing side? Was he that brainwashed by what hed been told was his fate, or was he just saying that to play me?
Jasmines face flashed in my mind, reminding me that I didnt have time for second-guessing. I ran over to Adrians duffel bag, quickly rifling through it. Once I had what I needed, I dragged a chair over to the hotel room door and stood on it. Despite my preparations, two sides of myself remained locked in battle.
Believe him! my hopeful half screamed. Just because he thinks his awful past has doomed him doesnt mean it has!
Its too late! my cynical half roared. You cant trust him, hes already admitted that hes too far gone!
Somewhere in the parking lot, a trunk slammed closed, then footsteps approached the door. I sucked in a breath, my vision blurring as I raised my hands. I didnt want to do this. I didnt.
But I had to.
The door openedand I slammed the same large rock we kept to smash mirrors down onto Adrians head before he even cleared the threshold. His fist shot out with his lightning-fast reflexes, but in the instant before it landed, his eyes met mine. His sapphire ones widened, then his hand buried into the wall instead of my face.
Ivy? he asked, as though confused.
Tears streamed from my eyes as I whacked him in the head again. This time, Adrian fell to the floor, and the thump his body made seemed to reverberate all through me. I dropped the rock, sickened at how it was now stained with blood.
Im sorry, I choked out.
He didnt reply. In fact, Adrian was so still, I wasnt even sure if he was breathing. I knelt, my whole body rigid from fear as I checked his pulse.
It throbbed beneath my fingers, sending an instant wave of relief through me. He was alive! Even if hed always meant to betray me, I never would have forgiven myself if Id killed him. I didnt think Id be able to forgive myself for doing this, and I wasnt done yet.
I grabbed the slingshot from his bag, tying his hands and feet together with it. Then I put duct tape over his mouth, deciding to add a few more layers to his wrists and ankles, too. When he woke up, hed be pissed, and that was only if he were innocent. If he had intended to deliver me to Demetrius after I found the weapon... Well, maybe I should use all the tape.
When Adrians wrists, arms, ankles and mouth were covered by the thick gray tape, I paused. There was one more thing I had to do, and I dreaded it even more than Id dreaded knocking him out.
With shaking hands, I went back to his duffel bag and pulled out his knife.
chapter thirty-two
I tried to ignore the screech of brakes from the car next to me, but I couldnt ignore it suddenly swerving into my lane. I veered left, avoiding that crash, yet swiping the front of the Challenger against another vehicle in the process.
Forget everything else Id done. Adrian was going to kill me for damaging his precious ride.
The driver Id sideswiped blasted his horn and slowed down, but when he drew even with me, his expression changed from anger to pure terror. I hunched down and drew the bedspread over my head until I could barely see. Too late. Another screech of brakes and he was driving off the road, coming to a stop in the grassy shoulder along the highway.
It was dark out, and I used the hotel bedspread like a veil, but one look at my face destroyed the notion that I was just your average commuter. Seeing a hulking demon lizard behind the wheel was too much for my fellow drivers. At least it was well past rush hour, so while Id caused a few individual spinouts, I hadnt been responsible for a real accident yet.
If I wanted to keep it that way, I had to get off the road. Sooner or later, some cop would finish a hysterical motorists sobriety test and decide to check out their story of a monster driving a vintage Challenger. Add in the fact that some of the Bennington cops were minions and Id really be screwed.
Still, I had to get as close to Bennington as I could. Ditching the car to run around in the open raised my chances of being seen. Not driving also meant it would take longer to get where I needed to be. Id left Adrian back at the motel over two hours ago, so at any minute, Costa would return to the room and find him.
Adrian. I forced back the guilt that made me feel like Id swallowed a bellyful of acid. Hed told me hed betray me if we continued to spend time together! Demetrius and Zach had thought so, too, and with Adrians admittedly bloody history, many people would agree he deserved what Id done.
So why was I the one who felt like a betrayer?
To keep myself from brooding over that, I turned off at the next exit. According to the map on Adrians phoneyes, Id swiped that, toothe Green Mountain National Forest bordered the part of Bennington where the B and B was located. I vaguely remembered the woods from my visit to the B and B, so if I kept to the trees, Id be able to stay hidden until I reached it. The realm gateway was in there, Adrian had said. Too bad he hadnt specified where in the B and B, but I had a plan for that, too.
I ditched the Challenger in the woods behind a gas station, but only after I wrapped some supplies in my blanket. Then I hoisted it over my shoulder like a sack, held Adrians phone out in front of me so I could see the map, and started running.
Once, I would have found the dark expanse of woods creepy, but not now. Maybe it was because no animal in its right mind would attack me with my Hound disguise. Same went for people, and though the air was distinctly chilly, the cold didnt affect me like it once would have. Must be my growing abilities. After all, it couldnt be coincidence that I barely needed the light from Adrians cell phone to see.
You can do everything I can do.... Its in your blood. Adrians words stole through my mind, encouraging me and slamming me with guilt at the same time. Dammit, I needed to stop thinking about him! Id made the only choice I could by not trusting him, same thing hed urged me to do over and over again. Jasmine was the person I should feel guilty about. If Adrian had been lying and she was dead, then Id failed my only remaining family. Worse, Id lost my best friend.
Memories began to assail me. Jasmine screaming with excitement because shed been accepted to the same college as me. Her countless pranks, like adding BENGAY to my suntan lotion or replacing my shampoo with bubble bath. How shed hugged me after my disastrous prom night, and how shed never told any of my friendsor herswhy I really went to the doctors so frequently. Jasmine as a little girl, sitting with me in a psychologists waiting room, her blue eyes somber as she whispered, If you say you see stuff, Ivy, I believe you....