It was the height of summer, when London smells like a chemists shop, and he who has the dinner-table at the window needs no candles to show him his knife and fork. I lay back at intervals, now watching a starved-looking woman sleep on a door-step, and again complaining of the club bananas. By-and-by I saw a girl of the commonest kind, ill-clad and dirty, as all these Arabs are. Their parents should be compelled to feed and clothe them comfortably, or at least to keep them indoors, where they cannot offend our eyes. Such children are for pushing aside with ones umbrella; but this girl I noticed because she was gazing at the club windows. She had stood thus for perhaps ten minutes when I became aware that someone was leaning over me to look out at the window. I turned round. Conceive my indignation on seeing that the rude person was William.
How dare you, William? I said, sternly. He seemed not to hear me. Let me tell, in the measured words of one describing a past incident, what then took place. To get nearer the window he pressed heavily on my shoulder.
William, you forget yourself! I said, meaning as I see now that he had forgotten me.
I heard him gulp, but not to my reprimand. He was scanning the street. His hands chattered on my shoulder, and, pushing him from me, I saw that his mouth was agape.
What are you looking for? I asked.
He stared at me, and then, like one who had at last heard the echo of my question, seemed to be brought back to the club. He turned his face from me for an instant, and answered shakily:
I beg your pardon, sir! II shouldnt have done it. Are the bananas too ripe, sir?
He recommended the nuts, and awaited my verdict so anxiously while I ate one that I was about to speak graciously, when I again saw his eyes drag him to the window.
William, I said, my patience giving way at last, I dislike being waited on by a melancholy waiter.
Yes, sir, he replied, trying to smile, and then broke out passionately, For Gods sake, sir, tell me, have you seen a little girl looking in at the club windows?
William, I said, my patience giving way at last, I dislike being waited on by a melancholy waiter.
Yes, sir, he replied, trying to smile, and then broke out passionately, For Gods sake, sir, tell me, have you seen a little girl looking in at the club windows?
He had been a good waiter once, and his distracted visage was spoiling my dinner.
There, I said, pointing to the girl, and no doubt would have added that he must bring me coffee immediately, had he continued to listen. But already he was beckoning to the child. I have not the least interest in her (indeed, it had never struck me that waiters had private affairs, and I still think it a pity that they should have); but as I happened to be looking out at the window I could not avoid seeing what occurred. As soon as the girl saw William she ran into the street, regardless of vehicles, and nodded three times to him. Then she disappeared.
I have said that she was quite a common child, without attraction of any sort, and yet it was amazing the difference she made in William. He gasped relief, like one who had broken through the anxiety that checks breathing, and into his face there came a silly laugh of happiness. I had dined well, on the whole, so I said:
I am glad to see you cheerful again, William.
I meant that I approved his cheerfulness because it helped my digestion, but he must needs think I was sympathising with him.
Thank you, sir, he answered. Oh, sir! when she nodded and I saw it was all right I could have gone down on my knees to God.
I was as much horrified as if he had dropped a plate on my toes. Even William, disgracefully emotional as he was at the moment, flung out his arms to recall the shameful words.
Coffee, William! I said, sharply.
I sipped my coffee indignantly, for it was plain to me that William had something on his mind.
You are not vexed with me, sir? he had the hardihood to whisper.
It was a liberty, I said.
I know, sir; but I was beside myself.
That was a liberty also.
He hesitated, and then blurted out:
It is my wife, sir. She
I stopped him with my hand. William, whom I had favoured in so many ways, was a married man! I might have guessed as much years before had I ever reflected about waiters, for I knew vaguely that his class did this sort of thing. His confession was distasteful to me, and I said warningly:
Remember where you are, William.
Yes, sir; but you see, she is so delicate
Delicate! I forbid your speaking to me on unpleasant topics.
Yes, sir; begging your pardon.
It was characteristic of William to beg my pardon and withdraw his wife, like some unsuccessful dish, as if its taste would not remain in the mouth. I shall be chided for questioning him further about his wife, but, though doubtless an unusual step, it was only bad form superficially, for my motive was irreproachable. I inquired for his wife, not because I was interested in her welfare, but in the hope of allaying my irritation. So I am entitled to invite the wayfarer who has bespattered me with mud to scrape it off.
I desired to be told by William that the girls signals meant his wifes recovery to health. He should have seen that such was my wish and answered accordingly. But, with the brutal inconsiderateness of his class, he said:
She has had a good day; but the doctor, he the doctor is afeard she is dying.
Already I repented my questions. William and his wife seemed in league against me, when they might so easily have chosen some other member.
Pooh! the doctor, I said.
Yes, sir, he answered.
Have you been married long, William?
Eight years, sir. Eight years ago she was II mind her when and now the doctor says
The fellow gaped at me. More coffee, sir? he asked.
What is her ailment?
She was always one of the delicate kind, but full of spirit, and and you see, she has had a baby lately
William!
And she I the doctor is afeard shes not picking up.
I feel sure she will pick up.
Yes, sir?
It must have been the wine I had drunk that made me tell him:
I was once married, William. My wife it was just such a case as yours.
She did not get better sir?
No.
After a pause he said, Thank you, sir, meaning for the sympathy that made me tell him that. But it must have been the wine.
That little girl comes here with a message from your wife?
Yes; if she nods three times it means my wife is a little better.
She nodded thrice to-day.
But she is told to do that to relieve me, and maybe those nods dont tell the truth.
Is she your girl?
No; we have none but the baby. She is a neighbours; she comes twice a day.
It is heartless of her parents not to send her every hour.
But she is six years old, he said, and has a house and two sisters to look after in the daytime, and a dinner to cook. Gentlefolk dont understand.
I suppose you live in some low part, William.
Off Drury Lane, he answered, flushing; but but it isnt low. You see, we were never used to anything better, and I mind when I let her see the house before we were married, she she a sort of cried because she was so proud of it. That was eight years ago, and now shes afeard shell die when Im away at my work.
Did she tell you that?
Never; she always says she is feeling a little stronger.
Then how can you know she is afraid of that?
I dont know how I know, sir; but when I am leaving the house in the morning I look at her from the door, and she looks at me, and then II know.
A green chartreuse, William!
I tried to forget Williams vulgar story in billiards, but he had spoiled my game. My opponent, to whom I can give twenty, ran out when I was sixty-seven, and I put aside my cue pettishly. That in itself was bad form, but what would they have thought had they known that a waiters impertinence caused it! I grew angrier with William as the night wore on, and next day I punished him by giving my orders through another waiter.
As I had my window-seat, I could not but see that the girl was late again. Somehow I dawdled over my coffee. I had an evening paper before me, but there was so little in it that my eyes found more of interest in the street. It did not matter to me whether Williams wife died, but when that girl had promised to come, why did she not come? These lower classes only give their word to break it. The coffee was undrinkable.
At last I saw her. William was at another window, pretending to do something with the curtains. I stood up, pressing closer to the window. The coffee had been so bad that I felt shaky. She nodded three times, and smiled.
She is a little better, William whispered to me, almost gaily.
Whom are you speaking of? I asked, coldly, and immediately retired to the billiard-room, where I played a capital game. The coffee was much better there than in the dining-room.
Several days passed, and I took care to show William that I had forgotten his maunderings. I chanced to see the little girl (though I never looked for her) every evening, and she always nodded three times, save once, when she shook her head, and then Williams face grew white as a napkin. I remember this incident because that night I could not get into a pocket. So badly did I play that the thought of it kept me awake in bed, and that, again, made me wonder how Williams wife was. Next day I went to the club early (which was not my custom) to see the new books. Being in the club at any rate, I looked into the dining-room to ask William if I had left my gloves there, and the sight of him reminded me of his wife; so I asked for her. He shook his head mournfully, and I went off in a rage.
So accustomed am I to the club that when I dine elsewhere I feel uncomfortable next morning, as if I had missed a dinner. William knew this; yet here he was, hounding me out of the club! That evening I dined (as the saying is) at a restaurant, where no sauce was served with the asparagus. Furthermore, as if that were not triumph enough for William, his doleful face came between me and every dish, and I seemed to see his wife dying to annoy me.
I dined next day at the club for self-preservation, taking, however, a table in the middle of the room, and engaging a waiter who had once nearly poisoned me by not interfering when I put two lumps of sugar into my coffee instead of one, which is my allowance. But no William came to me to acknowledge his humiliation, and by-and-by I became aware that he was not in the room. Suddenly the thought struck me that his wife must be dead, and I it was the worst cooked and the worst served dinner I ever had in the club.