But when he smiled his eyes were blank, were filmed. Because suddenly he did not see Margery at the other side of the table. Instead, in her place, he saw a delicious little angel, just glowing, just dangling.
Nathan took another sip of his drink, then tucked his hand into his trouser pocket and cleaned his thumbnail on the sharp edge of a business card. Connie. He was on the sweetest voyage. What he did not know, what he could not consider, was where he was heading. What he did know, though, what he was certain of, was that she, Connie, would be his very next port of call.
Lily, lets go.
Lily didnt want to. She was happy where she was. She glanced up at Connie. Couldnt you find your own way back? Its quite simple.
Connie readjusted the towel around her waist. No.
Oh.
Ronny lifted the peak of his hat and peered over his shoulder at her. Hello.
Hi. She paused for a moment. You have no hair either?
Ronny took off his hat. His skull was pale and strangely shaped, like a prune stone. Nope. No hair.
She took a step closer. And what is it exactly that youre doing here?
A tableau, Lily interjected.
Ronny nodded.
He does everything with his left hand, Lily said fondly, smiling at him. Its hispreoccupation.
Project, Ronny said, and put his hat back on again.
Ronny and I are in the middle of a great discussion, Lily said, arent we?
Ronny just mumbled under his breath, somewhat evasively.
Connie stared at Ronny blankly for a moment, as though something terribly obvious had just occurred but shed missed it.
Ronny.
The sun was sinking and her shirt was cold against her skin.
Really? So what was it about, this discussion?
Ronny was telling me how certain kinds of letters make you feel cheerful.
Letters?
Connie shoved her hair behind her ear, away from her face.
In graphics Lily turned back to Ronny. How soon do you think before the sea comes right in?
I dont know.
Wont it wash away your tableau?
Probably.
Ronny sounded unbothered. He stretched his spine as though it had grown uncomfortably stiff, then dusted some sand off his left hand by patting it on the front of his shirt. His right hand remained limp in his lap. Then very slowly, very gradually, he unwound, but without using his hands to push himself up, and keeping his feet close together so as not to disturb the circle of shells around him.
Once Ronny was standing he took in the circular sweep of his days work. He smiled, then he frowned. Actually he scratched his leg, I think Im stuck.
Lily stood up herself and was immediately involved in Ronnys dilemma. Cant you jump over?
He shook his head. Not from this position. No leverage.
He looked around him, almost panicky. Wheres Jim?
Lily glanced up to the top of the nearby sand dunes as though she still expected Jim to be standing there. Jim? You mean the bald one?
The other bald one, Connie murmured, studying Ronnys body language with some curiosity.
Yes, Ronny nodded. I think I need Jim. I think I need him.
Lily put out her hand. From the edge of the shell arrangement she could almost touch him. Why not grab hold of my fingers?
I cant balance.
Ronny began to wobble.
Jims in his prefab, Connie spoke, shall I go and call him?
Would you?
Ronny peered at Connie over his shoulder, his expression chiselled with a sharp anxiety.
No. Let me. Ill go.
Lily would not be outdone. She would be indispensable. I said Ill go, Ronny.
She rushed off, shoving past Connie in a slight demonstration of ill-grace. Connie stepped aside silently. She did not relish the notion of Lily stumbling across what she presumed to be Saras secret dalliance with Jims fat, tanned neighbour. But if Sara had any sense
So they were left alone. Ronny was still wobbling slightly.
Had you been sitting there long? Connie walked around the shell circle so that he didnt have to turn his head to see her.
Yes.
Maybe its cramp.
No. Ive always had problems with my balance.
Really?
He nodded. Big toes.
Connie stared at him. Pardon?
I have none.
No big toes?
Its the way I was born. I was imperfect.
Imperfect. Connie disliked this choice of word, but her mind was temporarily distracted. You know, she cleared her throat, theres a special kind of ape
Yes, Ronny frowned but he nodded, yes, I do know.
He seemed unfazed, but slightly disgruntled.
I mean, with no toes Connie continued, a pale giant.
Of course. I know all about that.
Ronny glanced over his shoulder as though keen to curtail their conversation. In the distance, Jim had emerged from his prefab and was jogging across the beach, followed closely by Lily. Ronny returned his gaze to Connie. She was staring at him, thinking how thin he was. The sun was setting and it had bathed him in a strange, pinkish light which reflected from his pale face and hands. His wrists were facing outwards, limply, and were oddly pearly; striped, like the belly of a tiger fish. The sun was refracting off his scar tissue. Connie stared at his wrists, and then at his fingertips which also seemed to glow.
Did you see any black rabbits yet?
She was shaken. Pardon?
She had almost to pinch herself.
Black rabbits. Theyre a local peculiarity. Jim told me.
Uhno, Connie was confused, Ive only just arrived here.
I see, Ronny nodded but he seemed suspicious, me too.
Jim finally reached them. He was short of breath. Ronny? he panted.
He held out his hand, then stared at his outstretched arm with a look of genuine amazement. Jim! Ronny exclaimed and began grinning. Without thinking he walked over the tableau, right through the middle of it, kicking the shells aside. Not noticing Connie any more, not noticing Lily. Like Jim was everything.
He took hold of Jims arm. I didnt know where youd got to.
I was in the prefab. We should eat something.
Youre right.
They walked off together. Totally engrossed in each other. Like two stringy, rheumy old men.
Connie rubbed her arms. Lily stared after the two of them, irritated. Hes such a prick.
Who? Ronny?
No. Jim. Hes such a prick.
We should go home. Its getting dark.
Yes.
Lily set off along the beach at a great pace, taking extraordinarily lengthy strides with her skinny legs. Connie struggled to remain several paces behind her, but she was not in pursuit, she told herself, merely taking Lilys lead, quite submissively. And anyway, her mind was elsewhere. It was fuddled and rosy and darkening over. Like the giant sky above her. No sun left, no moon up, no stars yet. Just shadow. A great, wide, hugely improbable inky blink.
Thirty
Thirty
Lily got up from the kitchen table half way through dinner, without uttering a word, and left them. Initially Connie thought shed gone off to fetch something and anticipated her imminent return. But she didnt come back. They were eating a giant spinach omelette with boiled potatoes. Sara had been in the midst of preparing their meal swathed in steam, beating eggs in a giant bowl when theyd finally staggered home.
Shed turned the immersion heater on specially so that Connie could have a quick bath and change her clothes before dinner. She was being an exemplary hostess and gave every indication of feeling perfectly at her ease. During the meal they discussed a variety of subjects Connies work, Saras chickens, local industry, sightings of hawks in the area Lily, however, spoke very little.
Apparently you have black rabbits, Connie paused between forkfuls of omelette, I mean wild ones.
Yes, Sara seemed indifferent, you see them a lot. Theyre very common. Down by the reserve especially.
When Lily stood up and left the table, Sara kept on talking as if she hadnt noticed. I imagine a captive one was set free at some point and then the strain survived. Were all very accustomed to them.
Id love to see one.
Sara smiled, vaguely amused by Connies enthusiasm. Im sure youll get a chance to if you stay in the area for any length of time.
Actually, Connie put down her fork, I was wondering whether you might know of any holiday cottages up for rent locally. Or hotels.
Before Sara had a chance to respond, Connie glanced uneasily over her shoulder and added, Is anything wrong? With Lily I mean.
No. Shes probably just gone to her room.
Connie pushed a potato around her plate with her knife. I thought I might have upset her, without realizing.
Sara stood up to remove Lilys unfinished meal from the table. She placed the plate on to the draining board. When she next spoke it was with her back to Connie. Her voice was low. Theres no question of your leaving us. You must stay here for as long as you like.
Connie smiled. Thats very kind of you.
Sara turned around. Her face was bright. She seemed aroused, giddy almost. But youre wrong. Im not being kind at all. It would be useful for me to have another person around. As a distraction. For Lily.
Connie felt suddenly vulnerable, as though the net was billowing out again and she was seeing inside, into a place where she had no business trespassing.
I want to show you something Sara took several steps forward, lifted the tablecloth and yanked open a small cutlery drawer which was hidden within the main body of the table. From inside the drawer she removed a camera. She held it in both hands like it was something infinitely delicate; some old china or a fledgling.
I took it, she said, her voice full of awe.
Connie stared at the camera.
You took it?
Yes. Luke, the man you saw me with this afternoon, hes a photographer. This belongs to him. He thinks hes lost it. But I took it.
She paused, then smiled. This is his favourite camera.
Connie frowned. But didnt I see you using it earlier?
No. That was another one. This one was hidden in my bag all the while.
Sara put the camera up to her eye. She stared at Connie through its lens, but she didnt see Connie; instead she saw pink and white and yellow splashes. A dandelion. A marsh-mallow. She lowered the camera from her eye. Ive never had one before.
Why not?
Sara sat down. She continued to inspect the camera. She fiddled with the flash and the lens cap and the focus. Lily was born premature. Did you know that?
Connie shook her head. I didnt.
There was some kind of problem with her bladder and her womb. Complications. Her blood doesnt clot too well. We thought wed lose her. So we never took photos. We didnt do all those normal things that parents do with a new baby. Everything seemed so delicate, so fragile. We felt like we didnt want to tempt fate. Sara looked up at Connie. And I never learned to drive, either, which was somehow another part of it. A kind of she coughed on the words, wishful thinking.