A Book of Common Prayer - Joan Didion 24 стр.


You smell American.

I wonder if that could be because she is.

I wonder if I do.

And still Charlotte said nothing at all.

You havent met my son, I remember saying in the silence. Gerardo. Mrs. Douglas. Mrs. Douglas is staying at the Caribe.

But Gerardo said nothing, only touched Charlottes hair, a touch so tentative that it was almost not a touch at all.

Almost not a touch.

But it was.

Extraordinary, Elena said.

I wonder what American smells like exactly, Ardis Bradley said.

Charlotte stood up then and without taking her eyes from Gerardo she brushed back her hair where he had touched it. She did not seem to know what to do with her hands after that and she fingered the batiste of her skirt. She looked unsteady, ill, stricken by some fever she did not understand, and when I put out my hand to steady her she flinched and pulled away.

I dont like the Caribe, was the second thing Gerardo ever said to Charlotte Douglas.

His voice was low but so conversational and so unexceptional that for the moment after he spoke I could see Ardis Bradley marshaling opinions on the Caribe, pro and con.

Not Elena.

Elenas only developed instinct is for the presence of the sexual current.

I want you to take an apartment, was the third thing Gerardo ever said to Charlotte Douglas.

4

SEXUAL CURRENT.

The retreat into pastoral imagery to suggest this current has always seemed to me curious and decadent.

The dissolve through the goldenrod.

The romance of the rose.

Equally specious.

As usual I favor a mechanical view.

What Charlotte and Gerardo did that afternoon was reverse the entire neutron field on my lawn, exhausting and disturbing and altering not only the mood but possibly the cell structure (I am interested in this possibility) of everyone there. Charlotte never spoke at all to Gerardo, only turned away and engaged Tuck Bradley in one of those reflexive monologues she tended to initiate at the instant of distraction. It sometimes seemed to me that these monologues had for Charlotte the same protective function that ink has for a squid. This one touched on whether or not Tuck Bradley had ever been in the courtroom when Leonard did one of his really dazzling redirects (Tuck Bradley had not); what Tuck Bradley thought about the national lottery (Tuck Bradley saw both its good points and its bad points); what Tuck Bradley thought about assassination in the United States (Tuck Bradley thought it deplorable); and what offbeat hotels Tuck Bradley could recommend in Paris.

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Tuck Bradley recommended the George V.

What about London, Charlotte said, her voice suddenly weary. She did not turn to meet Gerardos gaze.

I would say  Tuck Bradley tamped his pipe. The Savoy.

Charlotte took a drink from a tray and I waited to see what she would do with it. Charlotte never exactly drank a drink. Sometimes she drained it like a child and sometimes she just played with the ice and quite often she dropped it. This time she set it on a tiled bench, quite carefully, without tasting it.

Or Claridges, Tuck Bradley said.

There was a silence.

I want to jot all this down, Charlotte said vaguely, and then she turned away from Tuck Bradley.

Gerardo watched her as she ran across the lawn.

Victor watched her as she ran across the lawn.

Antonio crouched on the lawn by Carmen Arrellanos hammock and watched Gerardo and Victor.

This is so absorbing but you can take me home now, Carmen Arrellano said to Antonio.

Norteamericana cunt, Antonio said without moving.

And I suppose another choice in Paris would be  Tuck Bradley was still intent on his pipe. The Plaza Athénée.

Shell definitely want to jot that down, Elena said. Possibly you could catch her and tell her. The Plaza Athénée. Are we going to get dinner? Is anyone going to le Jockey?

Did Charlotte Douglas say she was going to Paris? Ardis Bradley said.

 Le Jockey,  Carmen Arrellano said to Antonio. Listen to Elena. Your interesting sister-in-law thinks shes in Paris. I dont want dinner.

I mean if she is going to Paris, Ardis Bradley said, shes going to miss her husband.

I looked at Ardis Bradley.

She could not have had more than two drinks but she did not drink well.

No one else seemed to have heard what she said.

I want dinner, Elena said. And I also want to go to Paris.

Go to Paris. Antonio rose from his crouch. Some chemical exchange in his brain seemed to have switched on another of his rages. I used to be interested in Antonios cell metabolism. Go to Paris, go to Geneva. Buy a parrot. Buy two parrots, give one to your friend the norteamericana cunt.

The norteamericana cunt is not your sister-in-laws friend, Carmen Arrellano murmured from the depths of the hammock. The norteamericana cunt is Victors friend.

Gerardo will drop you home now, Carmen. Victor spoke very clearly in a tired voice. His eyes were closed. Wont you. Gerardo.

No, Antonio said. He wont.

Antonio is going to drop Carmen home, Gerardo said. He was still gazing across the lawn. Antonio is either going to drop Carmen home or Antonio is going to drop Carmen in Arizona. With Isabel and Dr. Schiff. Carmens choice. Why is she here?

Who? Victor said.

Mrs. Douglas.

More to the point, why are you here? Victor did not open his eyes. Why arent you off bobsledding somewhere.

I thought my country needed me, Gerardo said. He did not turn around. Patria, Victor. Right or wrong. Where exactly is Mr. Douglas?

The only sound was that of the DDT truck which grinds past this house early each evening to spray.

Caracas, Ardis Bradley said.

This time everyone seemed to have heard what Ardis Bradley said.

Or he was when he called Tuck.

Victor opened his eyes and stared at her.

Wasnt it Caracas? Tuck?

I have no idea. Tuck Bradley stood up. Its time, Ardis.

I have always loathed that phrase. Its time, Ardis. You told me Caracas.

Well get dinner, Ardis.

Ardis Bradley stood up unsteadily.

I watched the cloud of DDT settle over the spindly roses at the far end of the lawn.

It occurred to me that my attempt to grow roses and a lawn at the equator was a delusion worthy of Charlotte Douglas.

One of whose husbands appeared to be in Caracas.

Not a delusion at all.

Is he coming here? Victor said suddenly.

I would rather hope not, Tuck Bradley said, and he smiled, and he took Ardis Bradleys arm and after they left no one spoke for a long time. I think no one bothered to get dinner that night except Charlotte, who was seen at the Jockey Club as usual and was reported to have eaten not only the plato frío and the spiny lobster but two orders of flan.

At the time this surprised me.

At the time I had no real idea of how oblivious Charlotte Douglas was to the disturbance she could cause in the neutron field of a room, or a lawn.

5

AS A MATTER OF FACT LEONARD DOUGLAS DID NOT COME to Boca Grande that spring.

Leonard Douglas did not come to Boca Grande until early September, at a time when the airport was closed at least part of every day while the carriers negotiated with the guerrilleros and when visitors to the Caribe were routinely frisked before they could enter the dining room.

I have no idea whether he had even intended to come in the spring, or what he had called Tuck Bradley to say.

Or to ask.

Neither Ardis nor Tuck Bradley ever mentioned the call from Caracas again.

If he had called from Caracas to ask about Charlotte he never took the next step and called Charlotte herself: Victor had her calls monitored, both at the Caribe and at the apartment on the Avenida del Mar she rented the week after she met Gerardo, and, at least until the week the guerrilleros knocked out the central monitoring system, there was no record of a call from Leonard Douglas to Charlotte Douglas.

Nor, on the other hand, was there any record of a call from Leonard Douglas to Tuck Bradley, which made Victor depressed and suspicious about his Embassy surveillance team.

I believe he put the entire team under what he called internal surveillance, but it turned out to be just another case of mechanical failure.

Most things at the Ministry did.

I recall thinking that Victor would not be entirely sorry to turn over the Ministry to whoever was trying to get it that year.


Youre aware Gerardos still seeing the norteamericana, Victor said one morning in March.

I knew that he was disturbed because he had come to see me in my laboratory. Victor does not like to see me in my laboratory. His forehead sweats, his pupils contract. I have observed taboo systems in enough cultures to know precisely how Victor feels about me in my laboratory: Victor distrusts the scientific method, and my familiarity with it gives me a certain power over him.

In my laboratory I am therefore particularly taboo.

To Victor.

For some years I used this taboo to my advantage but I am no longer so sure that Victor was not right.

I believe theyre dating, Victor. I did not look up from what I was doing. I see her too. What about it.

Im not talking about you seeing her.

I took her to Millonario. She killed a chicken. With her bare hands.

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In my laboratory I am therefore particularly taboo.

To Victor.

For some years I used this taboo to my advantage but I am no longer so sure that Victor was not right.

I believe theyre dating, Victor. I did not look up from what I was doing. I see her too. What about it.

Im not talking about you seeing her.

I took her to Millonario. She killed a chicken. With her bare hands.

Im not talking about you seeing her and Im not talking about any chickens seeing her. Im talking about Gerardo seeing her. Observed at all hours. Entering and leaving. I dont like it.

Why dont you have him deported, I said.

Victor took another tack.

Youre very sophisticated these days.

I said nothing.

Very tolerant.

I said nothing.

I suppose with your vast sophistication and tolerance you dont mind the fact that your son also spends time with the faggot. The West Indian faggot. Whatever his circus name is, Im not familiar with it.

I transferred a piece of tissue from one solution to another.

Victor meant Bebe Chicago.

Victor was as familiar with Bebe Chicagos name as I was, probably more familiar, since Victor received a detailed report on Bebe Chicago every morning at nine oclock.

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