They shared dreams.
Remy would do anything for him. Mason told her of his goal to start a carpentry business, how she could help him, how they could start a family, a real family together. Remy saw the ad to be a surrogate. Shed been pregnant before and hadnt kept the baby. She could do it. She could handle it. She called the number and took the chance to earn sixty thousand dollars. It would give her and Mason a new life.
Remy would be doing a good thing.
The people at the agency were nice, so professional. They checked her health, explained how they were a global agency, and after she signed the agreement, they flew her to Moscow for the procedure because they had special arrangements with doctors there.
The agency assured her that it was all perfectly legal.
Remy became pregnant and throughout her early months she wondered about who the Russian father was-was he kind, smart, handsome? She wondered about her babys future parents.
At night Remy was plagued by nightmares of the baby shed aborted, memories of the horrible sound of the doctor working inside her, the awful hollow feeling. She also had strange dreams about the daughter she gave up, and her surrogacy.
Am I doing the right thing?
When Mason was released from Hightower he was still pleased about the sixty thousand dollars, but something beneath the surface was wrong. Sex for them was not good because of Masons ambivalence about doing it when you got a baby in there. Being locked up all this time, he was frustrated. Remy had promised him sex would be better after the baby, but Mason was stressed about his new job, his parole and his old enemies.
He started taking drugs again.
She pleaded with him to stop and tried to help him.
Then something inside her went wrong, something with the baby. It was stillborn. Dead inside her. A boy.
Oh, God.
She roiled with intense shock and pain. At the small hospital theyd gone to, the doctors, the nurses, even Mason, all tried to console her.
She wanted to hold her baby. He was so tiny. He looked like he was asleep. She bathed him, dressed him and took a lock of his hair. The nurses made hand and footprints for Remy to keep.
Then the hospital arranged for a chaplain to help Remy and Mason with a funeral and burial in a small corner of a local cemetery. The funeral home provided a tiny coffin at no cost.
Standing over her babys grave at the cemetery, Remy was overcome. Why did this happen? Why am I being punished?
Later, a counselor and doctor at the hospital talked to Remy about the changes her body would go through, how her breasts would fill with milk, about the soreness, about her anguish. They cautioned her about the likelihood of facing acute postpartum depression, even psychosis. They provided her with medication, which she never took.
Remy and Mason went back to their apartment in Lufkin, gathered their things and left. Mason told his boss there were complications and they needed to go away for a while. Mason didnt breathe a word of the truth to anyone because he and Remy didnt want the agency to know that shed lost the baby.
But in the aftermath, Remy became confused and conflicted.
As they moved from one cheap motel to another they struggled with the loss and its consequences. There was little they could do as Remy dealt with her growing sense of isolation. No one could understand what she was going through as feelings of futility and emptiness consumed her.
There were moments, rapturous fleeting moments, when Remy saw her dream come true, moments when shed be living it with Mason in their little house with their children, their family while he ran his carpentry shop.
Then reality smashed it all to pieces.
Now that shed lost the baby, she was at risk of losing everything.
Why?
Why was she being punished when there were so many bad mothers out there?
Remy saw them in parks, at public plazas, at malls, neglecting their children, not taking care of them properly.
Its so unfair. Its not right. She should make it right. Thats the answer.
Thats the solution-the creed she and Mason followed.
Whatever life takes from you, you take back.
To see her dream come true Remy had to rescue a neglected child to replace the one shed lost, to give it to the agency so she could start her life, her real life with Mason. Theyd searched malls and parks, until she found the right baby at the flea market and bravely set out to rescue him.
The tornado was biblical-a whirlwind-a sign.
Now, looking down at Caleb, she smiled.
You didnt die. I didnt steal you. I saved you from a terrible mother who does not deserve you. I deserve you. Youre so beautiful, like an angel. Just having you, holding you these days has filled my emptiness Youre like my son, the son I carried, my sweet, beautiful, lost angel.
She reached into her bag for a special tiny jewelry box, opened it and took out a small folded corner of cloth cut from the blanket her stillborn son was buried in. She touched it to her face.
You need me. I need you. Im not sure I can give you up.
A shadow fell over Remy and the baby.
Mason was standing over them.
I was looking everywhere for you. Why did you run off?
Remy said nothing.
Is everything okay? he asked, glancing around, impatient.
She shook her head.
Have you seen the news? The latest news about the FBI? he asked.
She shook her head.
Did you have one of your spells?
I think so, Remy said. Look at him, Mason. Hes so sweet, a sweet little angel. He needs me, doesnt he?
Mason paused a moment, assessing Remy. Yes, he does. He needs you to take care of him, to give to the mom the agency has waiting for him. Shes probably very worried after waiting for such a long time. What do you think, Remy?
She stared at Caleb, saying nothing.
Darlin Mason lowered himself to her and softened his voice. It had been a long time since he called her that. She loved it when he did. Darlin, the FBI is looking for us. They just put out sketches that look like us on the news.
Remy blinked at Mason. She was working to understand.
We have to go now, he said. We have to haul it back to the motel, get our stuff and go, now! Ive got us a place with an old friend from Hightower where we can be safe and make our call to the agency. We can close the baby deal and then start living our dream like you always wanted. Okay?
Remy looked into his eyes. No, Mason.
No?
I dont think its a good idea to stay with one of your ex-convict pals. I dont trust them.
Are you hearing me right?
You listen to me, Mason Varno. Im tired of running. I want to go back to the motel and think some more while I tend to my baby.
Your baby?
Yes, my baby. And were not going anywhere. Is that clear?
He stared at her for several icy seconds before he smiled.
It sure is, darlin.
35
Bel Air, California
Chelsea Drew-Flynn needed a shoulder.
She called Tara Powell, her trusted pal and confidante, and without hesitation Tara invited her out to California. As busy as she was with her new baby girl and her job, Tara always had time for Chelsea.
Theyd met aeons ago at a charity gala in San Francisco, and though Tara was ten years younger than Chelsea, they got along as though theyd been lifelong friends.
Chelsea didnt take her companys corporate jet out of Denver. She flew commercial, executive-class and hired a car service at LAX.
Tara and her husband, Worthington, headed their own production company. Their last three films had each grossed over a hundred million dollars, and they also had a hit crime drama on HBO.
Chelsea loved their house, how it was tucked deep into a gated community on a winding lush road concealed by foliage.
Their estate offered breathtaking views of Los Angeles. The mansion had eight bedrooms and every room had a sweeping vista. The foyer was made of Italian limestone and they had an infinity pool in the back with a stunning panorama of the city. The property was private, thick with greenery, surrounded by palms, avocado and citrus trees.
The driveway was overflowing with luxury cars. Chelseas driver put her bags at the door where Chelsea was met by Tara. They hugged and exchanged kisses over music and the vibrant hum of a party in full swing.
So great to see you, Tara said.
Ive arrived at a bad time.
Youve arrived at a perfect time. How was your flight?
Good.
Tara was dressed in an elegant yet semiformal turquoise ensemble.
I love those shoes, Chelsea said.
I got these in Venice when we went for the film festival. Theyre so comfortable.
Above the conversations and laughter spilling from the large living room where the glass wall had been retracted to lead to the pool, Chelsea glimpsed a number of world-famous faces.
Worths hosting an investors party for our next project. Ill get Miguel to take your bags up to your room so you can freshen up if you like. Then you can meet some people, get something to eat, and well steal away and talk, okay?
Sounds terrific. Hows Cheyenne? Can I see her?
Absolutely, she should be waking up soon, and Im sure shed love to see Aunt Chelsea.
Hey, there she is-my favorite gold digger! Tanned and smiling, Worthington gave Chelsea a crushing hug.
Hi, Worth.
If you want a break from running your mining empire, I can get you in a picture.
You cant afford me.
Everybodys got a price, Chelsea. He winked. Can we get you something, a drink?
Maybe later, Im just going to freshen up a bit.
Chelsea took a quick shower, fixed her face, changed into a floral print dress then joined the party. Tara escorted her through knots of people scattered about the living room and pool, introducing her to actors, directors, screenwriters and agents as servers moved from circle to circle with trays of drinks and hors doeuvres.
After some twenty minutes of mingling, Tara received a text on her phone then leaned to Chelseas ear.
Cheyenne is up. Lets go.
Tara led Chelsea upstairs to her daughters bedroom, where eleven-month-old Cheyenne was standing in her crib with her nanny close by.
I already changed her, maam, the nanny said.
Thank you, Aisah. Tara took the baby into her arms. Were going to stay here with her for a while. Ill let you know when were done.