– What timetable should I follow in employing and promoting my son or daughter?
– How can I avoid favoritism in managing and developing my son or daughter?
– How can I prevent the business relationship from damaging or destroying the parent-child relationship?
Of all the relationships in a family business, the parent-child relationship has been the most troublesome. The problem has been recognized informally for generations. In more recent years, counseling has developed, seminars have been created, and books have been written about such relationships. In spite of this extensive attention, however, the parentchild relationship continues to perplex numerous families involved in family businesses.
Couples in Business
Some family businesses are owned and managed by husband-wife teams. Their roles may vary depending on their backgrounds and expertise. In some cases, the husband serves as general manager and the wife runs the office. In other cases, the wife functions as operations manager and the husband keeps the books. Whatever the arrangement, both parties are an integral part of the business.
A potential advantage of the husband-wife team is the opportunity it affords a couple to share more of their lives. For some couples, however, the potential benefits become eclipsed by problems related to the business. Differences of opinion about business matters may carry over into family life. And the energies of both parties may be so dissipated by their work in a struggling company that little zest remains for a strong family life.
Adele Bihn and Murray P. Heinrich of San Jose, California have experienced both the joys and strains of working together as business partners. After 12 years of marriage and collaboration in their business, Data Marketing, Inc., they are described as "still blissfully happy." Adele, mother of their four children, owns 50 percent of the company and serves as president. Murray owns the other 50 percent and heads up product research. To maintain their happiness, they must deal with strains imposed by the business. They have worked together to resolve these pressures by using a variety of methods, including semiannual visits with a marriage counselor, annual away-fromwork business strategy sessions, Saturday morning breakfast dates without the children, and annual separate vacations. Their experience shows that entrepreneurial couples can maintain good marriages, but it also shows that such couples must devote special effort to both business and family concerns.
Sons and Daughters
Should sons and daughters be groomed for the family business, or should they pursue careers of their own choosing? In the entrepreneurial family, a natural tendency is to think in terms of a family business career and to push a child, either openly or subtly, in that direction. Little thought, indeed, may be given to the basic issues involved, which include the child's talent, aptitude, and temperament. The child may be a chip off the old block but may also be an individual with different bents and aspirations. He or she may prefer music or medicine to the world of business and may fit the business mold very poorly. It is also possible that the abilities of the son or daughter may simply be insufficient for a leadership role. (Of course, a child's talents may be underestimated by parents simply because there has been little opportunity for development.)
Another issue is personal freedom. We live in a society that values the right of the individual to choose his or her own career and way of life. If this value is embraced by a son or daughter, that child must be granted the freedom to select a career of his or her own choosing.