The head spoke much and willingly, as if rewarding itself during the compelled silence.
Last night Laurent dreamed the head of professor Douel and, having woken up, thought: Whether «Douel’s head has dreams?»
– Dreams … – were quietly whispered by the head. – Yes, I have dreams. And I do not know what more they deliver to me: grief or joy. I dream myself healthy, full of strength and I wake up twice unfortunate. Disadvantaged both physically, and morally. I am deprived of everything that to well living people. And only ability to think is left to me. «I think. Therefore, I exist» – with a bitter smile the head of the word of the philosopher Descartes quoted. – I exist…
– What do you dream?
– I never before saw myself in my present look. I see myself such what was once… I see the family, friends… Recently saw the late wife and endured with her spring of our love. Bettie once addressed me as the patient, having injured a leg at an exit from the car. Our first acquaintance was in my reception office. We somehow approached at once it. After the fourth visit I suggested it to look at the portrait of my bride lying on a desk. «I marry it if I receive its consent» – I told. It approached a table and uvidat on it a small mirror; having looked at it, she burst out laughing and told: «I think… she will not refuse». In a week she was my wife. This scene rushed before me in a dream recently… Бетги died here, in Paris. You know, I arrived from America as the surgeon here during the European war. Offered me department here, and I remained to live near expensive grave. My wife was the surprising woman…
The person of the head brightened up from memoirs, but was immediately saddened.
– As this time is infinitely far!
The head thought. Air quietly hissed in a throat.
– Last night I dreamed my son. I very much would like to look at it once again. But I do not dare to put it on this trial… For it I died.
– It is the adult? Where it is now?
– Yes, adult. It with you or is a little more senior than nearly one years. Graduated from university. Now has to be in England, at the aunt on mother. No, it is better not to have dreams. But me – the head continued, having kept silent – torment not only dreams. In reality I am tormented by false feelings. Strangely enough, sometimes it seems to me that I feel the body. I suddenly will want to sigh a full breast, to stretch, straighten widely hands as it is done by the sat-up person. And sometimes I feel gouty left leg pain. Isn’t that so, ridiculously? Though as to the doctor it has to be clear to you. Pain is so real that I involuntarily look down down and, of course, through glass I see under myself empty space, stone plates of a floor… From time to time it seems to me that now the suffocation attack will begin, and then I am almost happy with the «posthumous existence» saving me at least from asthma… All this purely reflex activity of the brain cages connected once with body life…
– Awfully!. – did not keep Laurent.
– Yes, it is awful… Strange, during lifetime it seemed to me that I lived one brainwork. I, the right, somehow did not notice the body, all shipped in scientific occupations. And, having only lost a body, I felt what I lost. Now, more than ever for all my life, I think of smells of flowers, fragrant hay somewhere on the fringe of the forest, of distant walks on foot, noise of a sea surf… I did not lose sense of smell, touch and other feelings, but I am cut off from all variety of the world of feelings. The smell of hay is good in the field when it is connected with one thousand other feelings: and with a wood smell, and with beauty of the burning-down dawn, and with songs of forest birds. Artificial smells could not replace to me natural. A smell of perfume «Rose» instead of a flower? It would also satisfy me a little as hungry began to smell paste without paste. Having lost a body, I lost the world – all immense, wonderful world of things which I did not notice, of things which can be taken, to touch, and at the same time to feel the body, myself. Oh, I willingly would give my chimerical existence for one joy to feel weight of a simple cobble-stone in the hand! If you knew what pleasure is given me by a sponge touch when you wash to me a face in the mornings. Touch is the only opportunity for me to feel in the world of real things… Everything that I can make itself, it to touch with a tip of my language edge of my dried-up lips.
That evening Laurent was home disseminated and excited. The old woman mother, as usual, prepared for her tea with cold appetizer, but Mari did not touch sandwiches, hastily drank a glass to tea with a lemon and rose to go to the room. Attentive eyes of mother stopped on her.
– You are upset with something, Mari? – the old woman asked. – Perhaps, troubles on service?
– No, nothing, mother, was simply tired and the head hurts… I will lay down a bit earlier, and everything will pass.
Mother did not detain her, sighed and, having remained one, thought.
Since Mari arrived on service, it very much changed. Became nervous, closed. Mother and the daughter were always great friends. Between them there were no secrets. And now the secret appeared. The old woman Laurent felt that her daughter hides something. Mari answered questions of mother of service very briefly and vaguely.
– Professor Kern has a clinic for especially interesting patients in the medical relation at home. And I look after them.
– What it is patients?
– Different. There are very hard cases … – Mari frowned and transferred a conversation to other subjects.
The old woman was not satisfied by these answers. And she began even to inquire the party, but she managed to learn nothing except that it was already known from the daughter.
«Whether it is in love in the Core, and, perhaps, hopelessly, without answer from its party?.» – the old woman thought. But right there disproved herself: her daughter would not hide from her the feeling. And then, unless Mari not pretty? And Core bachelor. And if only Mari loved it, then, of course, and the Core would not resist. Not to find other such Mari in the whole world. No, here something else… And the old woman long could not fall asleep, turning on highly shaken up feather-beds.
Also Mari did not sleep. Having turned off light that her mother thought that she already sleeps, Mari sat on a bed with widely opened eyes. She remembered each word of the head and tried to imagine herself on its place: quietly concerned language of the lips, the sky, teeth and thought: «All this that the head can do. It is possible to bite lips, a language tip. It is possible to move with eyebrows. To move eyes. To close, open them. Mouth and eyes. It is more than any movement. No, still it is possible to move a little with skin on a forehead. More than anything…»
Mari closed and opened eyes and did grimaces. Oh, if at this moment mother looked at her! The old woman would decide that her daughter went crazy.
Then suddenly Mari began to be enough the shoulders, knees, hands, ironed itself up to a breast, started fingers in a thick hair and whispered:
– My God! As I am happy! As much I have! What I am rich! And I did not know, did not feel it!
The fatigue of a young body prevailed. Mari’s eyes were involuntarily closed. And then she saw Douel’s head. The head looked at it attentively and mournfully. The head broke from the little table and flew by air. Mari ran ahead of the head. The core as a kite, rushed on the head. Twisting corridors… Hard doors… Mari hurried to open them, but doors did not give in, and the Core made up for the head, the head whistled, hissed already near an ear… Mari felt that she chokes. Heart beats in a breast, its speeded-up blows painfully respond in all body. The cold shiver runs on a back… It opens all new and new doors… Oh, what horror!.
– Mari! Mari! What is with you? Yes wake up, Mari! You groan…
It is not a dream any more. Mother costs at a headboard and with alarm irons her hair.
– Anything, mother. I just saw a nasty dream.
– You too often began to see nasty dreams, my child…
The old woman leaves sighing, and Mari some more time lies with open eyes and strongly fragile heart.
– However my nerves become utterly worthless – she quietly whispers and this time fills up with sound sleep.
DEATH OR MURDER?
Once, glancing before going to bed over medical magazines, Laurent read article of professor Kern about new scientific research. In this article Core referred to works of other scientists in the same area. All these excerpts were taken from scientific magazines and books and in accuracy coincided with those which Laurent according to the indication of the head emphasized during their morning occupations.
The next day, as soon as an opportunity to talk to the head was presented, Laurent asked:
– What professor Kern in laboratory in my absence is engaged in?
After some fluctuation the head answered:
– We with it continue scientific works.
– Means, and you do all these marks for it? But you know that he publishes your work on its own behalf?
– I guessed.
– But it is shocking! How you allow it?
– What can I do?
– If you cannot, then I will be able to make! – angrily Laurent exclaimed.
– More quietly… In vain… Would be ridiculously in my family way to have claims for copyright. Money? On what they to me? Glory? What can the glory give me?. And then… if all this opens, work will not be finished.
And in that it was finished, I am interested. To admit, I want to see results of my works.
Laurent thought.
– Yes, such person as Kern, is capable of everything – she quietly spoke. – Professor Kern spoke to me when I arrived to him on service that you died of an incurable disease and bequeathed the body for scientific works. It is true?
– It is difficult for me to speak about it. I can be mistaken. It, however, but, can be… not all the truth. We worked together with it on revival of the human bodies taken from a fresh corpse. The core was my assistant. At that time I set as an ultimate goal of my works revival of the head of the person cut from a body. I finished all preparatory work. We already recovered the heads of animals, but decided not to disclose our progress until we do not manage to recover and show the human head. Before this last experience which success I did not doubt I transferred to the Core the manuscript with all scientific work done by me for preparation for printing. At the same time we worked on other scientific problem which was also close to permission. At this time to me there was an awful attack of asthma – one of diseases against which I as the scientist tried to win. Between me and it there was an old fight. All question was in time: which of us the first will come out the winner? I knew that the victory can remain on its party. And I really bequeathed the body for anatomic works, though did not expect that exactly my head will be recovered. And so… during this last attack the Core was about me and provided me medical care. It vsprysnut to me adrenaline. Can be… the dose was too big or maybe asthma made the business.
– And then?
– Asphyxia (suffocation), a short agony – and death which for me was only consciousness loss… And then I endured quite strange transitional states. Consciousness very slowly began to come back to me. It seems to me, my consciousness was awakened by acute sense of pain in a neck. Pain gradually calmed down. At that time I did not understand that it means. When we with the Core did experiences of revival of the dog heads cut from a body, we paid attention that dogs feel extremely acute pain after awakening. The head of a dog fought on a dish with such force that sometimes tubes on which nutritious liquid moved dropped out of blood vessels. Then I suggested to anesthetize the place of a cut. That it did not dry up and was not affected by bacteria, the neck of a dog plunged into special solution of Ringen-Lokk-Douel. This solution contains both the nutritious, and antiseptic, and anesthetizing substances. The cut of my neck was also shipped in such liquid. Without this precautionary measure I could die again very quickly after awakening as the heads of dogs in our first experiences died. But, I repeat, at that moment I did not think of all this. Everything was vague as though somebody woke me after strong intoxication when effect of alcohol did not take place yet. But in my brain nevertheless the joyful thought smoldered that if consciousness, though vague, returned to me, then, so I did not die. Without opening eyes yet, I deliberated over strangeness of the last attack. Ordinary attacks of asthma broke at me suddenly. Sometimes intensity of short wind weakened gradually. But I never before fainted after an attack. It was something new. Also the feeling of severe pain in a neck was new. And one more strangeness: it seemed to me that I did not breathe at all, at the same time and did not test suffocation. I tried to sigh, but could not. It is more than that, I lost feeling of the breast. I could not expand a thorax though strenuously as it seemed to me, strained the pectoral muscles. «Something strange – I thought – or I sleep, or I dream…» Hardly I managed to open eyes. Darkness. In ears vague noise. I closed eyes again… You know that when the person dies, bodies of his feelings die away not at the same time. At first the person loses sense of taste, his sight, then hearing dies away then. Apparently, upside-down there was also their restoration. After a while I raised the eyelids again and saw muddy light. As though I fell to water by very deep water. Then the greenish haze began to disperse, and I vaguely distinguished before myself the person Kerna and at the same time uslykhat already quite distinctly his voice: «Recovered? I am very glad you to see again live». By effort of will I forced my consciousness to clear up rather. I looked down and saw directly under a chin a table – at that time this little table was not yet, and there was a simple table, like kitchen, hastily adapted by Kern for experience. Wanted to look back, but could not turn the head. Near this table, is higher than it, the second table – prozektorskiya was located. On this table someone’s beheaded corpse lay. I looked at it, and the corpse seemed to me strange familiar in spite of the fact that it had no head and his thorax was opened. Right there nearby in a glass box someone’s human heart fought… I bewildered looked at Kern. I still could not understand in any way why my head towers over a table and why I do not see the body. Wanted to give a hand, but did not feel it. «What is the matter?.» – I wanted to ask Kern and only silently moved lips. And he looked at me and smiled. «You do not learn? – he asked me, having nodded towards a prozektorsky table. – This your body. Now you forever got rid of asthma». He still could joke!. And I understood everything. I confess, the first minute I wanted to shout, break from a little table, to kill myself and Kern… No, absolutely not so. I knew mind that I had to become angry, shout, be indignant, and at the same time was struck with ice tranquility which owned me. Perhaps, I was also indignant, but somehow looking at myself and at the world from outside. In my mentality there were shifts. I only frowned and… was silent. Whether I could worry as worried earlier if now my heart fought in a glass vessel, and the motor was new heart?
Laurent with horror looked at the head.
– And after that… after that you continue to work with it. If not it, you would win against asthma and were a healthy person now… He is a thief and the murderer, and you help it to rise on glory top. You work for him. He as the parasite, eats your brain activity, it made some accumulator of creative thought of your head and earns on it money and glory. And you!. What does it give you? What your life?. You are deprived of everything. You an unfortunate stump in which, on your grief, still there live desires. The whole world stole from you the Core. Forgive me, but I do not understand you. And really you obediently, resignedly work for him?