N.B.! We have to feed our True Hunger with tasty, nourishing, and favorable food four-six times a day, while False Hunger gets nothing. It doesn’t need food. It is important to provide your hunger with tasty, “appetizing” food. Dessert and high-calorie foods in each meal have to contain fifty kilocalories or less.
Later I’ll describe to you a couple of ways to manage false hunger.
Let’s talk about human beings now. We still have a mysterious third circle in this diagram. It remains unfilled. “Bio”, or body, is a physical, material aspect, the “psyche” is a spirit. What else do we need to become human beings? What does a human being need for turning into a fully-realized person?
– Other people?
– Exactly! We all need society, social relations.
Society turns a human being into a person.
Sometimes they find children who, for one reason or another, have been isolated from society and grew up wild, raised by animals. Have you heard about such cases? Media write stories about it sometimes. Such person can hardly become a human. Imagine if you have lived with animals for up to five or ten years and cannot talk, communicate, or normally interact with people.
Eating behavior and habits are at the intersection of biological, psychological, and social aspects of our personality. Overeating is caused by all these factors.
Let’s talk about overeating. What does it mean? Food enters our body and turns into energy. Some of the energy is consumed for life support. What happens if you consume as much energy as you need to live?
– Everything is fine. We don’t gain weight.
– Yes, you can maintain weight. What if you consume a bit more energy than you need for life support?
– The excess of energy is stored as fat.
– A person gains excess weight little by little.
Let’s see what happens to the energy. These are our muscles, fat cells, connective tissue, several layers of skin, and this is excess energy converting into fat deposits. It’s a kind of a gas tank, storage of excess energy, excess “fuel”… Fat cells start to increase in size. The size of individual cell could increase tens times! Imagine a gas tank that holds up forty liters. You pour gasoline into it, fill it full. If you don’t stop, gasoline will be poured over the edge. As for our body, it’s a kind of stretchable “gas tank”. That’s why some people weigh four hundred pounds and even more. It’s a way of intense suffering that leads to disability and, as a result, to an early death.
We need to stop this vicious process. Energy entering with food should be less than consumed energy. In order to achieve the goal, we have to learn how to estimate calories in food.
Let’s talk about overeating. What does it mean? Food enters our body and turns into energy. Some of the energy is consumed for life support. What happens if you consume as much energy as you need to live?
– Everything is fine. We don’t gain weight.
– Yes, you can maintain weight. What if you consume a bit more energy than you need for life support?
– The excess of energy is stored as fat.
– A person gains excess weight little by little.
Let’s see what happens to the energy. These are our muscles, fat cells, connective tissue, several layers of skin, and this is excess energy converting into fat deposits. It’s a kind of a gas tank, storage of excess energy, excess “fuel”… Fat cells start to increase in size. The size of individual cell could increase tens times! Imagine a gas tank that holds up forty liters. You pour gasoline into it, fill it full. If you don’t stop, gasoline will be poured over the edge. As for our body, it’s a kind of stretchable “gas tank”. That’s why some people weigh four hundred pounds and even more. It’s a way of intense suffering that leads to disability and, as a result, to an early death.
We need to stop this vicious process. Energy entering with food should be less than consumed energy. In order to achieve the goal, we have to learn how to estimate calories in food.
Gennadiy Arturovich Arustamov, 41, Ph. D. in Economics, a CEO of “Reka-More” company, dropped 90 lbs:
My wife has always supported me in my desire to lose weight, as it was medically necessary. So, at that moment, the main course and the main aim of my life was to get rid of excess weight and to return to myself.
Doctors refused to predict long-term prognosis; they didn’t recommend me to make long-term plans. Things had gotten pretty bad. Almost desperate. I weighed three hundred pounds. I had diabetes, hypertension of some high degree. Pills were almost useless. Every six months, I increased the dose of medicines to regulate pulse and arterial pressure. I suffered from some other diseases as well. I took handfuls of pills twice a day. All of these occurred against the background of constant stress and insomnia. I had a serious sleep disorder. It led to the catastrophic failure of multiple body systems. I was in very poor condition. Problems with back, high blood sugar level. It was very upsetting. I was forty.
By now, we’ve managed to achieve the following results. I’ve lost ninety pounds of excess weight. I don’t have diabetes anymore. I can safely say, that Type-2 diabetes can be healed. Believe me. And it’s not very hard. Even suffering from Type-2 diabetes you can safely start losing weight. I am pleased to confirm it. It’s fine. You can settle it. Diabetes shouldn’t stop you from getting slim. Even in that case, the body responds to the change in the volume of food consumed. It starts to lose excess weight. I take only two pills daily instead of fourteen.
What else can I say? I still do sports. I focused on training the cardiovascular system and did aerobic exercises, avoiding tough strenuous activity. I did a lot to improve the performance of cardiovascular and respiratory systems, so my training activities were mainly directed to achieve this goal.
My wife supports me in everything that I do. Of course, she was surprised a lot with the result. After a while I realized that it is the only right way of healing all the disorders (regular meetings with a psychologist, medical supervision, split balanced nutrition, sensible sport), that it changes the internal state of the body, I urgently tried to draw my spouse into it, almost by force. I realize now that it was a mistake. This state can only be achieved if a person makes this decision on his own. We have to love and accept our nearest and dearest just as they are. There is no need to draw our beloved into your way or force them to do something. They see everything. If they like what you are doing, they will follow you. As for us, we just have to love them. That’s all. As soon as I stopped trying to draw my spouse into ranks of people losing weight… and started to do things related to love and emotional support, and the family turmoil came to an end. Our relationship became deep and balanced.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Have you ever counted the calories?
– Yes.
– Anzhelika. Anyone else?
Nika. Fine.
Was it dreary?
– Yes.
– Sure.
– But you get accustomed to it.
– Agree, Nika?
– Yes.
– But still, I don’t really want to count calories, especially for the rest of my life. We have to settle it. Tomorrow I’ll tell you about it.
I will explain how to count the energy value of food in an easy way that allows decreasing excess weight. You can get slim without endless mathematics that makes your head whiz. It would be terrifying!
Our lives are not about counting, but we can take into energy the value of food by using a new simplified system in order to improve the quality of life.
We’ve got a key to open this door.
But the most important thing is to understand why this extra energy contained in extra food is just “begging” to get into the body. So, the things are starting to get clearer. We’ve got a few hints on what we are dealing with. The reasons are as follows: you do not distinguish between true hunger and false hunger and feed with food both hunger of your body and hunger of your psyche. Because of the false hunger, you eat a lot of excess high-calorie foods, trying to relieve negative emotions and stress with food.
What are the other reasons for excess food getting into your body? There is a critical one. A person begins to spend time, money, and energy on others, forgetting about the needs of his psyche and body.
N.B.! “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
This effective formula has been existed for over two thousand years. It reflects the wisdom of harmony, balance, and the health of the individual and society. It tends to fail when “Love your neighbor” has been put up on a pedestal, and “yourself” has been almost completely neglected.
Zap – and you push yourself aside, to the bottom of the list! What about your “neighbors”? We give them everything beyond all measure: our time, money, attention and energy! Every day, every moment we save everybody… except ourselves. Wake up in the morning, put your “911” cap and run to do some good, right?
– ☺
– What about time for yourself?
“Should I feed myself? Yes! Feed! I have to do so many things!”
We will deal with this problem. Why does a person with excess weight constantly lack resources for himself, but provide others with everything they need?
You get into details and realize that he’s not obliged to do this or that. But everyone comes to him and asks for help. “Please!” When sometimes the person tries to say “no”, the seekers start to shed a tear and lay on the sob stuff with a trowel: “Please!!!” In a while, you start to feel sympathy for them, right? Certainly. The others try to get what they want not by sympathy but by bullying. For example, a person with excess weight tries to deny a request. “What? What did you just say?!” The person replies: “Oh, sorry, you are right…” And once again, he starts to do everything for everyone.
We have to settle it in class. Are you familiar with this problem? Be honest. One, two, three, four. Anybody else? Five, six, seven. Seven people. As you see, it’s a common problem.
N.B.! The lifestyle when you do for others the things that they can do by themselves leads to gain of excess weight!
You feel offended. You give them everything and get…
– Nothing!
– Nothing. Then you comfort yourself with eating. Besides, you feel guilty because no matter how hard you try to cater to every whim of others, you’ll never be able to please everyone. It’s getting more and more annoying. No leisure, chronic fatigue. You suffer from chronic fatigue, but you don’t sleep enough. As a result, headache or heartache appears. This, in turn, makes you feel anxious. You comfort yourself with food. Again. It’s a vicious cycle.
N.B.! Rule seven.
A slim person knows how to treat others and himself properly. He is aware of his physical and mental needs, allocates enough time, money, and energy to meet these needs.
A slim person does not do for other things that they can and must do by themselves.
N.B.! Rule eight.
A slim person stays slim because he does not transfer responsibilities for his life and his weight to other people and circumstances.
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs It was hard for me to say “No” but I kept learning. Of course, sometimes, it didn’t work. Even now, it doesn’t always work, as I am a kind, helpful person by nature. But it is really useful to learn how to do it at least sometimes. I am very sociable, and it always hurts me when my pals and me go separate ways. I do everything to keep them in my life, but I do not allow anyone to get a free ride on my back. There was a recent instance when I told “no” to a person very dear to me. So what do you think? He has not gone out of my life; he knew that it’s hard for me to fulfill all his requests. The person just said that he would never ask me for help again. At first, I had a bitter feeling inside of me. I was afraid of losing him. Imagine my relief and joy when I realized that our communication had not changed at all! I have plenty of such examples – no need to cultivate feelings of anger and resentment if we can change the situation. You just need to learn how to refuse requests if you do not see any benefits for yourself. Any relationship is based on mutual contributions, not on the efforts of only one person.
Reasons of gaining excess weight
– Now let’s talk about traditions and their effect on excess weight.
How much do we usually cook for Christmas Eve and New Year party?
– Plenty.
– We put mayonnaise almost into every dish, bake cakes.
– Then people visit each other with baskets full of food. You try from my basket; I try from yours.
– ☺
– Ten days that shook the world from the 25th of December to the 5th of January.
– Over ten days.
– Precisely! Some people start to celebrate even earlier. They not only eat far too much, but they also drink alcohol! As a result, happy and swollen people return to work after vacation. Some gain fifteen pounds, the others – twenty pounds.
– ☺
– By the way, most of this weight is due to the fluid accumulated in edemas. But there is some fat too!
Habit is the second nature
– Habits. Who instills them in us, and how? At first parents, people emotionally crucial for us, then teachers, relatives. We will discuss these habits and the impact they have on gaining excess weight. For example, let’s take the habit of eating up.
– Every dish! ☺
– Clean Plates Society. A woman from the morning group said that parents used to tell her when she was a little girl: “You should see a flower at the bottom of your plate.”
– ☺
– So, the child eats, digging deeper and deeper with his spoon, but there is no flower. The girl continues to work on it.
– A woman told me recently: “I force my grandchildren to eat. They don’t want to eat up, but I force them by any means. For example, by telling them: “You don’t love your Granny!”
– My mother just tied the child, my younger brother, to the chair.
– Really?
– Yes, it’s true. He is a man now, and he eats nothing except sausages, cheese, and candies. I told her: “What have you done to your son?” She replies: “What should I do? He didn’t eat. So, I tied him, opened his mouth, and force-fed him”.
– That’s how it works sometimes! It’s a frustrating story with sad consequences.
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:
I’d like to tell you another story. Once I had at my seminar a client with a weight of two hundred fifty pounds. On the first day, when we talked about reasons for weight gain, he said that he was always overweight as a kid. The man was sure that in his case, this problem was inborn, and he came just to check if it would help him.
Then, during relaxation, he suddenly remembered that at the age of four, he went to the village to his grandparents for the whole summer. And for the entire summer, they told him: “Eat more, and you’ll become a superman” – and stuff like that. He also said that for some reason, he was the only child in the village full of super-caring older adults. They made a schedule establishing where and when he would have lunch. Can you imagine how eager they were to feed the only four-year-old child in the village and how they persuaded him to eat one more spoon for his Mom, Dad, and Granny?
As soon as the man realized that it was just a mindset adopted in childhood, and he didn’t need to continue to follow it, his excess weight began to disappear. As a result, he lost one hundred thirty-two pounds without any effort!
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Social pressure in terms of nutrition takes place among the grown-ups too. For example, when you come to visit someone but you are not hungry. However, they start to beg and force you to eat by all means, as a rule, by manipulation, making you feel guilty: “Why don’t you eat? Do you mean to offend me? I cooked until midnight yesterday! You do not respect me. What a shame!”
– There is a joke I’d like to tell you. Once a woman with excess weight came to a doctor and told him: “I’m done. I have a big family. I eat up after everyone. Kids do not eat at all. My husband doesn’t eat much. We have a bunch of leftovers every day, and I eat up everything!” The doctor asks her: “You live in the countryside, right? Then you should buy a pig and feed it”. – “What? Do you want me to eat up after the pig too?”