«I will», he finally managed to whisper, he looked like a calf waiting for the butcher.
Rhett Butler who stood alone a few feet away from Charles. Evidently he had overheard the whole conversation.
In the bedroom, she found Cathleen Calvert.
«Cathleen», said Scarlett, trying to pull the corsage of her dress higher, «who is that nasty man downstairs named Butler?»
«My dear, don’t you know?» whispered Cathleen excitedly. «He isn’t received![6]»
«What did he do?»
«Oh, Scarlett, he’s from Charleston. Caro told me about him last summer. She knows all about him, everybody does. He was expelled from West Point. Imagine! And then there was that business about the girl he didn’t marry. This Mr. Butler took a Charleston girl out buggy riding. And, my dear, they stayed out nearly all night and walked home finally, saying the horse had run away and smashed the buggy and they had gotten lost in the woods. And guess what…»
«I can’t guess. Tell me», said Scarlett enthusiastically.
«He refused to marry her the next day!»
«Oh», said Scarlett.
«He said he hadn’t… er… done anything to her and he didn’t see why marry her. And, of course, her brother called him out[7], and Mr. Butler shot the girl’s brother and he died, and Mr. Butler had to leave Charleston and now nobody receives him», finished Cathleen triumphantly.
Scarlett attracted dozens beaux, but not Ashle. Ashley had made no attempt to join the circle about her. He just came forward to welcome her when she came into the back garden. And Melanie was always nearby.
She was a tiny girl. She looked and was as simple as earth. She smiled timidly. Ashley had sat on a stool at Melanie’s feet, apart from the other guests, and talked quietly with her. Ashley did not seem to notice her at all. He only looked up at Melanie and talked on. So, Scarlett was miserable.
Charles Hamilton was on her right. He held her fan in one hand and his untouched plate of barbecue in the other. Scarlett giggled. But Ashley was playing smiling up at Melanie. Pain twisted Scarlett’s heart.
«When all the girls will go upstairs to take naps to be fresh for tonight», she thought, «I’ll stay downstairs and talk to Ashley».
Men were talking about the war.
«Of course we’ll fight… Yankee thieves… We can win them in a month… They want war…»
Charles Hamilton leaned closer and whispered:
«Miss O’Hara… I had already decided that if we fight, I’ll go over to South Carolina and join a troop there».
Scarlett looked at him. He went on rapidly,
«If I go… will you be sorry, Miss O’Hara?»
«I will cry into my pillow every night», said Scarlett.
«Will you pray for me?»
«What a fool!» thought Scarlett bitterly.
«Oh yes, indeed, Mr. Hamilton!»
Charles drew in his breath, stiffened the muscles of his stomach.
«Miss O’Hara… I must tell you something. I… I love you!»
«Um?» said Scarlett absently.
«Yes!» whispered Charles. «I love you! You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known and I love you with all my heart. I will… I want to marry you».
Scarlett was thinking Ashley, and she looked at Charles with irritation. And she murmured:
«Mr. Hamilton, I do not know what to say».
Charles swallowed the bait.
«I will wait forever! Please, Miss O’Hara, tell me that I may hope!»
«Um», said Scarlett.
«You promised to show me your library, sir», Rhett said to John Wilkes.
Ashley strolled over to where Scarlett and Charles sat. But Ashley was not looking at her. He was looking at Charles. They began to talk about the war.
Scarlett stood on the landing and peered cautiously over the banisters into the hall below. It was empty. Melanie was lying down on the bed with Honey and Hetty Tarleton, and then she slipped into the hall. The library was in darkness. Large numbers of books always depressed her.
She closed the door.
«Why, Scarlett!» said Ashley’s voice. He stood in the hall.
«Who are you hiding from – Charles or the Tarletons?»
She could not speak, but she drew him into the room. He entered, puzzled but interested. Automatically he closed the door behind him and took her hand.
«What is it?» he said, almost in a whisper. «A secret to tell me?»
«Yes… a secret. I love you».
For an instance there was a silence. Why did Ashley look so oddly and say nothing?
«Isn’t it enough that you’ve collected every other man’s heart here today?» he said.
Something was wrong! This was not the way she had planned it. Ashley was acting as if he thought she was just flirting with him.
«Ashley… tell me… Oh, my dear, I lo…»
«You must not say these things, Scarlett! You don’t mean them. You’ll hate yourself for saying them, and you’ll hate me for hearing them!»
«I will never hate you. I tell you I love you and I know you must… Ashley, do you love me?»
«Yes», he said dully. «I do. But, Scarlett, can’t we forget that?»
«No», she whispered. «I can’t. What do you mean? Don’t you want to marry me?»
He replied, «I’m going to marry Melanie».
She looked into his crystal eyes.
«Father will announce the engagement tonight. We will be married soon. I never dreamed that you… You’ve so many beaux».
«But you just said you loved me».
«My dear, I don’t want to say things that will hurt you. Love isn’t enough when two people are as different as we are. You would want all of a man, Scarlett, his body, his heart, his soul, his thoughts. And if you do not have them, you will be miserable. And I can’t give you all of me».
«Do you love her?»
«We understand each other. Scarlett! I’m going to marry Melanie. How can’t I love you? You who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me?»
«You coward! You’re afraid to marry me!»
«But dear Scarlett», his voice pleaded. «Did I ever…»
Her anger rose, the anger of hurt pride and feminine vanity.
«I shall hate you till I die, you cad… you coward!»
«Scarlett… please…»
She slapped him across the face with all the strength she had. He said nothing but lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. Then he was gone. She sat down again.
Her hand dropped to a little table beside her. She picked up the bowl and hurled it viciously across the room toward the fireplace. It splintered with a little crash against the marble mantelpiece.
«This», said a voice from the depths of the sofa, «is too much».
Rhett Butler rose from the sofa where he had been lying and made her a bow. He had heard everything!
«Sir», she said, «you are no gentleman!»
«An apt observation», he answered airily. «And, you, Miss, are no lady».
She walked out of the room and banged the heavy door behind her.
She went up the stairs swiftly. The she stopped and saw Charles. When he saw her, he hurried toward her. Charles stared at her.
«I’m so clumsy», he said. «I forgot how delicate ladies are. I’m sorry. Shall we sit on the bench?»
She nodded and he carefully handed her down.
«He has a lot of money», she was thinking. «And he hasn’t any parents to bother me and he lives in Atlanta. And if I marry him right away, it will show Ashley that I don’t care… that I was only flirting with him. And it will kill Honey. And it will hurt Melanie, because she loves Charles so much. And it would hurt Stu and Brent…»
«I can’t decide now whether to go with Mr. Wade Hampton’s South Carolina Legion or with the Atlanta Gate City Guard», said Charles…
She said, «Oh» and their eyes met.
«Will you wait for me, Miss Scarlett?»
«I don’t want to wait», she said.
«Can you possibly love me?»
She said nothing.
«You will marry me soon, Miss Scarlett?»
«Um», she said.
«When may I speak to your father?»
«The sooner the better».
He leaped up and looked down at her radiantly. The white house will never be her house now. Ashley will never marry her. Oh, Ashley, Ashley! What have I done? She loved Ashley and she knew she loved him.
Chapter V
Within two weeks Scarlett had become a wife, and within two months more she was a widow. But, to her dismay, motherhood soon followed. Two weeks! So short an engagement was impossible in times of peace. But the South was aflame with war.
Charles was impatient to be off to South Carolina to join Wade Hampton’s Legion. The South was intoxicated with enthusiasm and excitement. Every young man hastened to enlist, hastened to marry his sweetheart before he rushed off to Virginia to fight the Yankees. There were dozens of war weddings in the County.
Scarlett was clad in Ellen’s wedding dress and veil. Gerald was happy that his daughter was marrying both money and a fine name. Ashley was standing at the bottom of the steps with Melanie’s arm through his. When she saw the look on his face, she thought: «This can’t be real. It can’t be. It’s a nightmare. I mustn’t think of it now. I’ll think later, when I can’t see his eyes».
It was all very dreamlike, the passage through the aisle of smiling people, Charles’ face, the congratulations, the kissing and the dancing… all, all like a dream. Even the feel of Ashley’s kiss upon her cheek, even Melanie’s soft whisper, «Now, we’re really and truly sisters», were unreal.
As Cherles hesitatingly approached the bed Scarlett spoke in a hoarse whisper:
«I’ll scream out loud if you come near me. I will! Get away from me!»
So Charles Hamilton spent his wedding night in an armchair in the corner. Her own wedding had been nightmarish, but Ashley’s wedding was even worse. Melanie Hamilton became Melanie Wilkes. Ashley had said he loved her, but what separated them?
Oh, how she regretted it all. That night Charles had emerged shyly from the dressing room, and she burst into tears[8]. A week after the wedding Charles left to join Colonel Wade Hampton, and two weeks later Ashley and the Troop departed.
In those two weeks, Scarlett never saw Ashley alone, never had a private word with him. Melanie said: «You must kiss Scarlett, Ashley. She’s my sister now», and Ashley bent and touched her cheek with cold lips.
«You will come to Atlanta and visit me and Aunt Pittypat, won’t you? Oh, darling, we want to know Charlie’s wife better», exclaimed Melanie.
Five weeks passed during which letters, shy, ecstatic, loving, came from Charles in South Carolina telling of his love, his plans for the future when the war was over. In the seventh week, there came a telegram from Colonel Hampton himself, and then a letter. Charles had died ignominiously and swiftly of pneumonia.
In due time, Charles’ son was born. He was called Wade. Scarlett felt little affection for the child. She had not wanted him. She was dazed and sick. Her boredom was acute and ever present. All of the interesting young men were gone. Only the older men, the cripples and the women were left. She was a widow and her heart was in the grave. Everyone expected her to act accordingly. This irritated her. A widow had to wear hideous black dresses, no flower or ribbon or lace or even jewelry. Widows can never chatter vivaciously or laugh aloud. Even when they smiled, it must be a sad, tragic smile.
How stupid of them to say that now she had something to live for! She had very little interest in Wade and sometimes it was difficult to remember that he was actually hers. And Ashley! She hated Twelve Oaks now. Ashley!
So Scarlett’s trunk was packed with her mourning clothes and off she went to Atlanta with Wade Hampton and his nurse Prissy. She did not want to go to Atlanta. Aunt Pitty was the silliest of old ladies.
Chapter VI
The train carried Scarlett northward. Scarlett stood on the lower step of the train, a pale pretty figure in her black mourning dress.
«This is Miss Scarlett, isn’ it? I am Peter, Miss Pitty’s coachman. Don’t step down in that mud», the coachman ordered severely.
Scarlett looked at Prissy and sighed. Prissy was not the best of nurses. Where are the fat old arms of Mammy? But Mammy was at Tara. Wade’s face went purple with his squalling, Scarlett snapped crossly:
«Give him that sugar-tit[9] in your pocket, Priss. I know he’s hungry, but I can’t do anything about that now».
Atlanta was humming like a beehive. In Atlanta, there were machine factories which were manufacturing war materials. Trains roared in and out of the town at all hours.
«I’ll like it here[10]», thought Scarlett. «It’s so alive and exciting!»
Scarlett’s eye was caught by a figure on the sidewalk in a brightly colored dress. She saw a tall handsome woman with a bold face and a mass of red hair.
«Uncle Peter, who is she?» Scarlett whispered.
«Her name is Belle Watling», said Uncle Peter. «Miss Scarlett, you’ll see a lot of strange folks in this town».
As they passed a green house, a little black girl on the front steps cried, «She has come!», and Dr. Meade and his wife and little thirteen-year-old Phil emerged. After shaking her hand, the doctor announced Scarlett’s work in a hospital committee.
«What are hospital committees?» Scarlett asked.
«We have nursing committees for different hospitals», Mrs. Meade said. «We nurse the men and help the doctors and make bandages and clothes».
The carriage slipped and slid down the muddy road and Scarlett leaned back on the cushions and smiled. Atlanta was very pleasant.
Scarlett saw the red brick and slate roof of Miss Pittypat’s house. It was almost the last house on the north side of town.
Scarlett came to Atlanta with no idea as to how long she was going to remain. But Aunt Pitty and Melanie began a campaign to induce her to make her home permanently with them. They loved her so much.
Uncle Henry liked Scarlett immediately.
«When Wade Hampton comes of age, he’s going to be a rich young man», Uncle Henry said. Scarlett smiled but said nothing. She missed Tara. She realized what Gerald had meant when he said that the love of the land was in her blood. «If only Ashley wasn’t married!»
Scarlett could not escape her duty because she was on both Mrs. Meade’s and Mrs. Merriwether’s committees. That meant four mornings a week in the stinking hospital. Every matron, old or young, in Atlanta nursed.
Certainly there was nothing romantic about nursing. To her, it meant groans, delirium, death and smells. The hospitals were filled with dirty, bewhiskered, verminous men who smelled terribly.
Melanie she was gentle, sympathetic and cheerful, and the men in the hospitals called her an angel of mercy. Scarlett did not like nursing at all! But in spite of these discomforts, Atlanta pleased her very well.
Chapter VII
It simply wasn’t fair. Scarlett had worked twice as hard as any girl in town. She had knitted socks and baby caps and mufflers and tatted yards of lace. And she had embroidered half a dozen sofa-pillow cases[11] with the Confederate flag on them. She was only seventeen; oh, it wasn’t fair!
Pittypat entered the room.
«Auntie, I’m so tired of sitting at home».
«Scarlett, promise me you won’t say things like that. People will say you don’t have the proper respect for poor Charlie».
Scarlett cried. Melanie entered.
«Oh», said she. «Be brave, dear. Don’t cry. Oh, Scarlett!»
«I want to be dead!» she sobbed passionately.
«Dear, don’t cry! Try to think how much Charlie loved you!»
«Go away and leave me alone!» shouted Scarlett.
She sank her face into the pillow. She heard Melanie say to Pittypat in a low voice as they went down the stairs:
«Aunt Pitty, Don’t speak of Charles to her. You know how it always affects her».
Scarlett kicked the coverlet in impotent rage,
«Damn it!» she cried at last.
Deliverance came in the form she least expected. During the after-dinner-nap period, Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Elsing drove up.
«Mrs. Bonnell’s children have the measles», said Mrs. Merriwether abruptly.
«And the McLure girls are in Virginia», said Mrs. Elsing. «Dallas McLure is wounded».
«How dreadful!» chorused their hostesses. «Poor Dallas!»
«No. Just through the shoulder», said Mrs. Merriwether briskly. «The girls are going North to bring him home. We must hurry back to the Armory and do the decorating. Pitty, we need you and Melly tonight. We need women for the booth».
«Oh, but, Dolly, we can’t go. With poor Charlie dead only a…»
«I know how you feel but there isn’t any sacrifice too great for the Cause», broke in Mrs. Elsing in a soft voice.
«Oh, we’d love to help but… why can’t you get some sweet pretty girls to take the booths?»