And then, just over six months later, the sunny April days turned gray. I remembered the long honking of the cars as the funeral procession walked past my fathers work. He was forty-nine years old. There was no more joy; I couldnt feel it in anything.
So here I was, trying to forget myself, to let this pain go. I tried to run away from myself. But is that possible?
Chapter 3: The Walk
Now, with the sound of the waves so pleasantly caressing something in my soul, in this wilderness, very far from civilization, the feeling of the unreality of everything around me did not leave me. I wanted to take a walk around the neighborhood.
White clouds beautifully covered the volcano hill in the distance. I decided to take a little walk. I walked to the edge of the bluffy shore. The dark waves were lapping at each other, and the white foam that framed their edges, like an elegant lace tied on a bobbin, looked beautiful against the dark water. I will never tire of admiring such a view. Orange shards of crab shells dotted the rocky shore. My path lay along the murmuring sea to my left.
I took a little to the right, deeper into the island. The desolate landscape was occasionally enlivened by the occasional tree. The road went steadily upward. Volcano Bogdan Khmelnitsky, which previously looked quite distant, was getting closer. The outlines of trees began to blur around me, my head ached and I had shortness of breath. I didnt like my idea anymore. It was probably time to go back, it was getting dark very fast, I was not used to such a rapid change of day and night. Gradually, there were more and more tall trees. Soon pines and spruces surrounded me on all sides, I was in the forest.
I walked and walked, did not notice the darkness, I was tired, I had to have a rest, I sat under a tree for a while, I decided to continue my way, and here I hit a snag, where to go, in what direction? I do not remember where I came from, all trees around seemed the same, only after looking closely in the darkness, in the half-darkness I could hardly distinguish birches, alders, pines and spruces.
The darkness was getting thicker. It was no fun at all. I decided to stay where I was, where would I go in the dark? And an unpleasant sensation of cold seized all my body, the skin on my hands and feet was covered with small pimples. I was tired, and my eyes were closed, as if the weight of the world had suddenly fallen on me.
In front of me was a huge, thick tree with old bark and stubby branches, like the tentacles of an octopus. I couldnt see very well in the dark, but it looked like an oak with a big hollow. Why would there be an oak tree here? They dont grow here. Perhaps in the darkness and from fatigue I am already imagining, but the hollow in the tree for sure there is, in it could fit not only a beast, even a man of not very large size. I need to wait out the night, so I cautiously crawl into the hollow. It is cramped, it smells of old rotten bark and old leaves, and my nose tickles from the dust that rose when I stepped on the leaves at the bottom of the hollow. I could even sit with my legs tucked up, which I did. What a headache it was, because not so long ago everything had been fine.
A terrible thunderstorm broke out in the night. The roar of thunder rumbled right over my head, and the lightning, cutting the sky apart, illuminated everything around me. At certain moments it became as bright as daylight. I hadnt been afraid of thunder before, but I couldnt remember a thunderstorm this strong, and I had never seen the sky split in two by a line of fire, white in the flash that illuminated everything around it. The fact that I was not at home behind safe walls, but in the woods, and in the hollow of a tree where lightning could strike at any moment, a primal sticky fear crept into my soul, creeping in a little at first, but as the storm intensified, it got stronger and stronger to the bones. As the thunder began to subside and the peals of thunder moved to the side, I fell asleep unnoticed. I guess the fatigue of the day had taken its toll.
I woke up to the sound of voices nearby. My head hurt a lot, and it didnt go away during the night. Someone was cursing. I stroked my hand lightly where the pain was, the right side of my forehead was unbearably painful, as if the sounds were coming through the absorbent cotton, rubbed the place where the pain was very strong, twisted my head, and listened.
One voice sounded stronger and more resonant, the other more muffled and threatening.
Dont you dare come near our lands, the voice called loudly.
To come does not mean to enter, the man said with a sneer.
Youre snooping around, sniffing out whats going on, the first man shouted.
You forbid me, dear Ty! replied the one with the deeper voice.
Glen, you rascal! The loud-voiced one concluded.
The voices grew fainter and fainter until they were silent. They were gone. I peered cautiously out of my hiding place.
The grass at the foot of the tree was a little weathered, but still damp. There were ferns growing all around, other grasses, and some lingonberry bushes and blueberries. The smell of the forest was very strong in the humid air after a thunderstorm. On a blue flower sat a butterfly, a beautiful delicate pink coloring with a purple hue. It folded its wings and slightly wiggled its tendrils. Somewhere in the distance water was murmuring softly. The butterfly spread its wings and flew toward the sun.
I cautiously climbed out of the hollow and stretched with pleasure, inhaling deeply, and looked at the tree that served as my shelter. The leaves are oak. Still, where does an oak tree come from?
I hadnt heard the sound of water yesterday. It came from the right. I did not pay attention out of tiredness. I went to the sound, soon saw a stream, washed my face with cold water, and rinsed my mouth, which instantly made my teeth cramp.
I had to go back somehow. I used the sun to identify the sides of the world and headed southeast, I wasnt sure exactly, but it felt like the right direction.
I had been walking for half an hour when I ran my hand over my neck and found that my pendant was missing, the latch on the chain must have broken, and the pendant had fallen off. Tears came to my eyes. My father had given me that pendant years ago. I always wore it, and here it was a reminder of home, of my mother and Maksimka and Mukhtar.
I went back, searched around the oak tree, looked in the hollow. I couldnt find anything.
And then I saw a white dog staring at me. I looked closer. It was a wolf. The hair on my head began to rise, and my consciousness from horror almost left my frail body. Now the cute little wolf was going to eat me, and no one would even know it. I loved animals, of course, but I didnt want to become someone elses dinner.
What to do, how to be? I grabbed hold of a tree branch and pulled myself up as hard as I could, pushing myself up against the trunk with my legs, somehow climbing onto the branch, and it was good that it was thick, so it would hold. What if I fell?
The two of them appeared suddenly. The branch didnt crunch, and I didnt hear any other sounds. The wolf disappeared silently among the trees in the forest, as if it had evaporated, and in front of me there were two guys, from who knows where, dressed as hunters. But they were strange hunters. They had no guns, but they had bows, and arrows on their backs. Maybe theyre in some kind of role-playing game.
Belle, can you tell me where the reading room is? The short guy asked in a low voice, smiling all over his mouth. I jumped down from the tree. The taller one frowned. What didnt he like? I didnt touch them, so they could go on their way.
And why did you climb the tree? From wolves, or what? Now well frighten them away, there are many of them now. What about reading?
What? A library?
They looked at each other and laughed. Meanly.
Library what?
Well, go to the village.
Theyll go, and Ill find out where the village is.
What village? The shorter one, the one who was smiling all the time, asked.
Are there many here? Well, the one on the shore.
Thats where were going, they had forgotten all about the library, and you?
I have to go there, too, I said, theyre waiting for me, I added, just to make sure they didnt get the wrong idea, I have to hurry.
It looks like were on our way. Lets go, the smiling man made a hand gesture, like they were letting us follow them. That made me smile. I would have gone that way anyway, just unnoticed. If they were hunters, though, they wouldnt miss it.
Alex, the one who was slightly shorter and always smiling introduced himself, and this is Vlad, he nodded at his mate.
Alice. You could be Lѝsa.
So youre a sly fox?
No. Not fox, Lѝsa, I said, putting the accent on the first syllable.
The sun rose high above my head. It was a hot summer afternoon, the forest air was clear around me, and I stopped in a clearing where I could see the sky clearly. Shivering jets of air, clearly rising upward.
Among the trees, almost merging with them, stood a wooden house. I rubbed my eyes in surprise, staring at it for a long time. Behind the house was a small vegetable garden with beds of carrots, cabbage, onions, basil, dill, parsley, beets and various other vegetables. My companions knocked on an unpainted wooden door. Inside, light curtains hung around the edges of a small window. A small, clean-looking old lady with a kind smile on her face silently opened the door for us. The hinges were well oiled, probably someone taking care of her and her dwelling.
Grandma Lisa, meet the guests! said one of my companions, the talkative Alex, cheerfully and loudly.
Come on in, kids. From the hunt? And whos that with you?
Found it in the woods, he laughed in reply, sitting in a tree.
From wolves, I said embarrassedly.
Yes, there are much wolves now. Im afraid of wolves near my village, they howl somewhere near at night.
Never mind, granny, well sort it out, Vlad promised, and I was even surprised that he spoke.
Who are you going to be, little girl? Grandma Lisa asked, setting the table.
My name is Alice, you can call me Lisa. Im from the seashore, where the fish factory is, I answered.
And what is such a fish factory? Surprised grandmother.
The factory. We work with fish there, I said.
Are the factories called factories now?
She laughed. Im not laughing. How do I know where to go and where to find my new friends. Although, now, perhaps, the old ones. The new companions dont seem to mind making friends, at least Alex does.
I walked along the beach, but somehow I didnt count the time while I was walking, it got dark quickly, and I walked into the woods. I think it was not far, but I did not know how to get out. There was a thunderstorm last night, so I spent the night and went out.
Im Grandma Lisa. And the guys are Tys friends. It is my grandson, with father they live in village, she outlines a room in the small house with the big stove, in the middle a wooden table with the same stools, on which we sit, by a wall behind a stove a couch, So I live, there is also a small room with a bed, waved into depth of the house.
A clean washed window with light curtains, colored homespun runners on the floor, old, but good-quality furniture. Something is missing, I can not figure out what, but suddenly it dawns on me that there is no source of light. Nowhere. The ceiling is empty, no table lamp is visible, only in the corner on a small table with knitting stands in a candlestick unused incense, apparently, it was the source of lighting in the evenings. Gee, I thought.
Well, well be on our way, Alex began to say goodbye.
Vlad nodded his head, and they left.
You get some rest, Lisa. Then go to Tinia. Ask around, maybe people in the village will tell you something, advised Grandma Lisa.
The mood was not very good. How is it possible that the old woman did not know anything about what was on the coast, because she probably lived on the island all her life. And the guys didnt know anything either.
My legs were humming, I didnt feel very well after a night in the hollow, my head ached, and the herbal decoction that Grandma Liza had offered me came in handy.
Grandmother gave me a skirt, or the residents would not understand my outfit according to her words. I wore jeans and a T-shirt yesterday before I went for a walk, which helped me not freeze to death at night. What kind of nerdiness is that? Anyway, you cant go in someone elses house with your own rules.
Chapter 4. The New World
I jumped over mossy rocks in a shallow spot of a fast but shallow river. To get to the village, I had to cross it. It is not wide, you can jump over large stones without even getting your feet wet, someone had laid them out one by one, like a bridge. I felt just like some kind of caveman in the wilderness.
I crossed to the other bank, found a barely visible path that ran a little away from the shore, but almost along the river, then it turned abruptly to the left.
What was this, what was this strange settlement? The huts, some low, squat. Somewhere there was a faint smoke, as if stove was burning. There is no electricity here, that is why they heat stoves in summer, probably, to cook food. I didnt see any poles with wires anywhere. Gee, how is that possible in the late twentieth century?
In the village, I talked to the women at the well. None of them had heard anything about a plant on the shore. This left me puzzled, rather shocked. Soon I was all agitated, and panic gripped me. Why was I being looked at like a Neanderthal at the mention of the word telephone? Did I grow horns?
A few women sitting on a bench outside one of the houses told me that I was confused about something. Two men came up, and they confirmed the womens words. I had already stopped asking, I just sank down on the bench, my ears were filled with cotton, people were opening their mouths, saying something, and I was sitting there looking at them. There was only one thing in my head: No! It cant be! This cant be.
I wandered back. At least my grandmother wouldnt have prying eyes watching me, because I had aroused so much interest with my questions. I had always been embarrassed by the attention of strangers, and in this situation especially. They wouldnt understand, theyre fine, Im the one who got here in the middle of nowhere, and Im the one who has to get out of it.
Why me? Why did this happen to me? Its not fair!
Fear gripped me. Im going to stay here forever! My life is over.
I returned to the hut on the bend of the river. Grandma Lisa welcomed me with open arms. To my words about not knowing how to get home now, she smiled and said:
Now I wont be lonely on long winter evenings.
What? Long winter evenings? No! I need to get back by that time, not just to the fishermens village, but to get on a motor ship, that is, to sail away from the island, and then to fly on a plane as well. And I could only sail away before the beginning of the stormy season. It was even scary to imagine that I meet the New Year here, although to be in a snow-covered forest with tall cedars and spruces was at least interesting, but better not here and not now. I didnt say anything about my world not being here, I just said that I drove from afar, then I walked, and thats how it was.
And I stayed at Grandma Lisas house. With her we talked about current problems and affairs, she knew a lot about everyday life and taught me. I learned how to make the same delicious drink from herbs as she did from St. Johns wort, oregano, thyme and various berries. My grandmother had picked herbs herself before I came along, and we collected some of them together.