Сергей Огольцов
The Algorithm of Chaos
Prologue
How Come The Algorithm Of Chaos Was Refurnished
All somehow got in the groove by now. Well, yes, half a year in this here blockade, and you day after day wait for the pending ethnic cleansing, humanitarian catastrophe, another dirty war or special operation they keep threatening you with but still
And before they there (who? where?) are reaching out for the Button, barking their orders down the chain of command, manning the installations, zeroing in on and so on and forth, you have to find something to fill up the eternity forked out to you, right? Havent you?
So meanwhile, to ward off my premature demise from ennui I keep it up, my addiction, yeah, keep writing little by little. Moreover, Im a small man on campus and because those ends of the world proliferate like mating rabbits (for the optimisms sake I shun calling the roll even though I could and who feels interested in the matter fire off Google or something and enjoy your fill of consternation) let them themselves then sort it out whos after who in their queue of ends.
Now, the hardest task, when youre a writer, is finding a plot. It is the thing of paramount importance, the plot is, from which youd see what you are about at all and what comes after what in your scribble while its absence spells disastrous primeval chaos and that metaphysical shit youd better give a wide berth. Dont ever venture into that dreary jungle, too few and far apart are those who managed to come back, almost zero, statistically speaking, were ever seen after. I swear. But even those who pop up back, by pure chance, are eyed suspiciously: wow, man! What a surprise! but why cant I recollect you? your name, again?
In short, chaos will take you to the cleaners. Do you follow? Be smart, go and find a plot, so as to avoid unnecessary risks both for you and unprepared public. Hence, by the by, springs up that cursed, below-the-belt question: where to get it? The effing plot?
Here is my friendly and open answer: I have no idea! And in the same breath, parallelly, I am informed on existence of prodigies grunting under the weight of heaps, and hills, and Cheops pyramids of plots they have. Looks like some unscrupulous archaeologist has leaked to them the King Solomon Plots Mines GPS numbers. Yeah, so it looks to my naked eye. Thats how they go about it, clandestine extraction of plots, on the sly.
Asking for proves? Both natural and clever attitude, yours. Okay, recently and rather inadvertently I rammed into the fact myself and got dismayed in earnest. I wish I still remained in the dark about the issue. But its too late now. No way to ditch my awareness (screw Google!) that there is a certain authoress of more than four hundred plots and printed too in the form os bestsellers. While from behind she hears already the wheeze of another (also female) racer turning out her 387
th
However, my concern is yield of worthy literary products not base flimflam for housewives and other society strata witth not fully developed psyche. As of yet, if ever.
The problem touched here (as lightly as it is humanly possible, not to take much of your precious time) is not anything new. On the contrary! Back in 19
th
per seWhither to sail?
That was his way of begging from Arina Rodionovna a plot, subtly and metaphorically
And all of a sudden, no nurse applied, I had a lucky strike! A good plot was stumbled at, faith! Even though it had some drawbacksbeing written in Englishbut then whos ideal, eh? And as always, the silver lining was in place, that is, the Russian reader hadnt chanced yet to get not bored by the stuff. Besides, no need to skirt around the sanctions meant to quench the Russian aggression, alias Special Military Operation, against Ukraine because the plot sits on this, Russian, side of the communicational hedge, at the litres.com domain, lucky me!
Now, boy, to the mill!,' said I to myself, and dug elatedly, and delved euphorically into translation. But then the insider whistle-blower (I dont know if you have this built-in bitch which is beyond the point anyway) blew it, the above-mentioned whistle. Like, there had cropped up not a little deviations from the original text and the original author might feel hurt, a sort of.
Well, yes, I also marked there a thing or two for deeper contemplation, after the whistling I did, and had to scratch where anyones supposed to when having an itchy sensation but then, gradually, I came to the final conclusion:
Fuck you! You dont like it? Then go and sue me! Sue me or draw it if you be a man! Ungrateful jerk! Ive let you into my personal space, allowed you to publish your hooey from my personal litres.com account, and now what?
So, while the bugger gathers back his shooed off thoughts, I go on translating it into Russian for my compatriots No blood ties involved though, my compatriots by sharing this here planet.
2023-05-05
Round, and Round, and Rounda kinda rationale to the AoC
a. What made me walk out on sports?
Strange may it seem, yet the career of a weight lifter never appealed to me as an attractive walk of life. Quite captivating sports, no denying. Look at the guys seductive way of approaching the thing, caressing that smooth shaft in the barbell, the tenderness itself. His stare turned away to something a thousand miles off so as not to scare it prematurely. And then, the unexpected savage roaryargkhah!and tears he up above his head all that mass of metal. A couple of seconds, maybe three, the stick stands under the weight, his coccyx a-jerking spasmodically, before to smite the bitch against the floor! Some sportsman, not suitably reserved, might add a yell sounding like screw you! Or even to kinda jump. Not overly high though because of his improper shape, a weight lifter never reaches an altitude above half a meter, not even with the pole.
The barbell whimpers its clang-bang complains to the gym flooring, and shuts up, while the weight lifter, like a proud ironclad, goes off with a swagger. Well, yes, not exactly goes but carries he his beefy cross of muscles to the sport podium to mount it and to thrust from aloof his head thru the medal band. Then he would stand erect and listen to the anthem hed been brought up under or to that of the nation whose chawbacon did occupy the upper step. Besides, the motley flags hang down, also three in number A catchy show.
Still and yet, I dont even know why, there always was a feeling no, not for me that barbell and stuff.
Later, as my regular ails caused by the Olympic Games current on TV abated, I got it finally that they were not for nothing busting their asses. Nah! Some guy was grunting from under that bloody barbell to stake off a separate apartment another one to secure a seat for himself in the Committee, no matter which one, they would tell, and so forth. And thats an absolutely justified ends why should he otherwise make of himself from his junior years a beast of burden, huh? Straining his skeleton and all to the detriment of his mental skills? Not aiming at to break wind fiercely while he puts back on trucks a derailed trolley in a coal pit, right? Of course, as anywhere else, there are zilch winners too with a chronic rupture instead of the booby-prize of his much-coveted medal.
For these and suchlike good reasons sports somehow failed to hook me on. Well, maybe except for the free calisthenics and figure skating, in part, yet also temporarily before I grew up to appreciating Rubensian forms.
Which is a pity, on the whole, because sport is life. Ask any hockey player and hell confirm it. Yes, youre likely not at once to decipher his lisping thru the couple of teeth still there, the rest knocked out in the ice arenas, which is the underlying reason for their speech problems. And stay assured, when leaving the harsh ice of jousts, they do insert their dentures to have what to smile with, yet the lisp still abides, thats the mark of their profession. Unavoidable.
The fact is well-expressed in that lyrics by Robert Rozhdestvensky to that soundtrack song by Arno Babajanian for the famous Soviet spy-epic sequence:
give your cut to the mutual course / the scars and evening bells will be your pay
Damn, no! Wait! It was Michael Tariverdiev who composed the music, a Georgian Armenian:
tyn-dyn-dyn ta-da-da tyn-dyn-tyn
A really cool rhythm there, by the way
Now, they were the reasons why I walked out on sports. We split, you may say, without getting to know each other properly.
The sad outcome called for hunting down some other field where to apply myself.
b. The Silver Screen, my boy, brings forth a whale of a joy!
Thus, on parting with my hope for an outstanding career in sports or, to make it graspable even for tik-tokers, as it turned my ex-hope far behind any fail-safe, I had to ponder pretty deep: where to? In which direction to channel my amazing talents for their full realization?
Clear enough, to stake on a Russian movie with me in it as the leading star will cut no fronds off Golden Palm. That ficus on steroids pulls for lesbian passions lately. Yeah, sure, with the advancement in plastic cutting and sewing the task is fairly trivial silicon padding here and there, penis turned-inside-out-and-tucked-in to fix you with a brand new pocket, and giddy up, girl!
Up to unsparing display of raw facts of nature and naked truth in the minutiae of all sorts. Up to the details which would leave ISIS hit men stilled in catatonic fits. Up to the confrontation with the Animal Protection Society canvassing for the global ban on demonstration of films awarded the Palme dOr by the Cannes Film Festival Jury (moreover special prizes by the said panel of connoisseurs) to the octopuses imprisoned in bio-laboratories specialized in developing the methods for extensive farming and processing of the said critters into canned sea-food, protein-rich and stuff, despite the APS claims of supremacy of octies intelligence over that of humans.
And at that point I raised my voice. Stop! (said I out loud) Whoa, man! (said I to myself) I put my foot down shut up with this shit! Not a chance Ill ever allow to spoil this hunky bad ass, me. The buster does deserve, albeit slightly narcissistic, love and fondling, on the whole.
What about tacking to UzbekFilm, huh? To star in their psychological thrillers?
Yet, theres not without a cinch too. Any schoolkid can easily foretell that UzbekFilm directors roll their joints up of the buds grown locally which stuff is over and above the herb used by Mr. Snoop Dogg of the New-York City. Although yeah, hes got a good connection too, look into the guys eyes and youre immediately high from pure solidarity. I mean, given the Uzbek ganja quality, one thriller in progress will take a decade for its accomplishment. Minimally.
Now, they roll out a noir masterpiece when there have remained no audience around to appreciate the subtleties of the directors touch and far-fetching allusions even less to dig the crap at all. Rather a bleak debit-credit perspective, to be frank.
What remains there? Hollywood? A suck-dried wasteland. For each and every leading role a scrambling line of Kobzons great-nephews in four generations ahead. And such a hubris knee they are! Your being on friendly terms with Auntie Fanny Tsiperovitch is not a pledge and good enough guarantee for you acting the next Batman or Bond, James Bond! Some gratitude for my keeping back politely any comment on their great Uncles lousy singing and the preposterous wig he sported thru all of his career.
Nothing doing, Bollywood loomed ahead for my destination, last and only. Which also teemed, on the second thought, with certain problems.
Each film down there is a marathon of no less than 2 sequels (which is minor) and in every one you have to give out up to 6 numbers singing and dancing simultaneously. About dancing, I am cool, the choreographys brimming up in me after the third shot. Even I myself get amazed and delighted by the spontaneous dance figures given out by me, unexpectedly.
However, my scope of the available vocalizing never surpassed that of V. Vysotskys husky below, shots or no shots. Which musical talent I am proud of, yet by sober estimation, those falsetto hits Jimmy! Jimmy! Ay-ya! Ay-ya! fanatically loved by the Indian film-goers are not in my gamut.
In the end I just cast that whole spherelock, stock, and barrelof movie production like a bone thrown by a knight to dogs at a feasting about the Round Table. Fight for it, limp mongrels!
Still at times, as I shave the bristles off the mug watching me from the mirror, do address I the character:
Yo, Bro! I say, the three of usI, Belmonde, and Nick Noltewould make a god-awesome fine team for The Three Musketeers! The trinity they cant even dream of, those dandelion cunt-suckers cant.
OK, lets leave them alone in their sandbox acting fallen in love or in the battle field. Leave them alone, the bohemian elite of featherheads! They know nothing even less can learn they, stuck in stale, dismal monotony, where all the difference between the drifters and Wall Street wolves they act springs from the studio wardrobe.
c. Waiting hat-in-hand for charity alms from Nature? Forget it! Well rip off all by scientific methods!
For those curious to see the extent of my wobbling after encounter with the two mighty blowsneither the Golden Palm nor Gold Olympic medals for me!which shocked the very foundation of my psychic conditions, let them once again scrutinize the Vasnetsovs masterpiece The Knight at the Crossroads (1,67 m x 3,08 m).
See? Thats me on the horse back, side view, with high boots on and in medieval pants instead of my perennial jeans. The almost life-size replica of me sitting on my faithful steed in deep contemplation now what? Maybe, to try a tack towards the fundamental science? Moreover, they always were in a good rapport, the science and my inner world. Congruence in basic features, you know.
Yep. Ive got a fairly scientific temperament and potential, especially in the sphere of thinking. When I start thinking I might just keep in on, and on, and on thinking, I mean. At times fully forgetful of what namely or which was the initial thought, yet still go on, and on The force of inertia, I think.
Furthermore, there certainly sits a deep-rooted bent for research, in me. Say, I come across some vague device or thing, or other implement, you know, where even a kid would get it instantly the crappy scraps an obsolete doodad from decades back, throw the trash away, wash your hands and forget it. But no! I would dismantle it and unscrew the last screw to see whats inside before collecting the dingus parts altogether to dump into the nearest garbage container, still as uncracked enigma
So why (if you dont mind my asking), given so favorable a bunch of kick-off talents, did I not get along with a scientific career? And everyone supposing at this point that Id give out a list of shortcomings, uncertainties, and sheer absurdities its full of and start picking holes in science then think once more, mon cher.
That way it would look like a template already: sport activities knocked out, movies production steamrolled ruthlessly what ugly things will I dig out disparaging the science?
Vain are your agronomical expectations, my dear friend! Whenever I talk business, I pour out the truth as is without any equivocacy and other oversees spice. Such a stance makes my life easier, afterwards, it leaves no space for belated self-accusations in being a slickly streamlined bitch obedient to demands and exchange rate in the political arena, trading my truthful self for a soft seat under my ass at my workplace and other comforts. Nope. The first and foremost is my personal health for whose sake I say what I think, and feel, and understand.