The doctor gave me a brochure with this information. I spoke with Oleg at home. He was calm, but I worried.
Our child is healthy. Everything will be okay, he said.
In the brochure I read that there is a 60% miscarriage chance after this test. I called the doctor.
We will not do this test, I said. Even if you did the test and it was abnormal, we would still not abort the baby. We know abortion is a sin, and we love our baby so much. We will pray, and God will help us.
Oleg didnt show that he worried, but I did. I couldnt calm down. Being pregnant, I still had to continue working, drive children to Moms house in early mornings, pick them up after work, clean, cook and take care of the children. At night I would wake up at 2 or 3 A.M. and pray to God, begging Him to heal our baby. Only Mom, one of my sister and few friends knew about this problem. I was embarrassed to tell this news to someone or ask for prayers. I kept it all to myself. How can I go back to work and show him to my co-workers? How can I show a disabled child to my friends and family? What would this say about me? I thought.
When the time came for our baby to be born, I was in tears and couldnt imagine what he would look like. But God heard our prayers and saw that we were not ready to accept a disabled child into our family. With tears of joy, we welcomed our healthy baby Michael. For us it was a miracle from God! Michaels name means Who is like God.
When we brought Michael home, at first David and Kristina were happy to see him, but then they started acting up, crying and being jealous. Oleg was at work, and I thought, What is going on? Then I understood that they needed more of my attention, and I had to learn how to be a mother of three children.
Being parents of three is vastly different than being parents of two. I wanted to stay home to breastfeed Michael. WIC, my employer, supported my choice to combine maternity leave, saved sick and vacation leave, and time off without pay to enable me to be off work for eleven months.
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When I returned to work, there were some changes at the WIC program due to budget constraints. This required all clerks to also be cross-trained as Nutrition Assistants. Thus, in addition to scheduling appointments, issuing WIC vouchers, and answering a multiple-lined phone, my new duties included diet and weight assessments, checking hemoglobin and teaching the nutrition classes.
This offered several challenges. I was scared of blood. To do a hemoglobin test, I had to poke a clients finger and deal with the blood. I also had to speak in front of people, but had no confidence to do so. How do you get up in front of a group of people when you have an accent and have no confidence in your ability to speak? I expressed these and other concerns to my boss.
Olga, you have a choice. You either do it, or you quit, she said.
I need a job. It is a good job with good income and benefits. I have no choice as to keep the job and learn my new duties, upset, I answered.
It is amazing what you can accomplish, if you put your mind to improving your skills. Two years later, in addition to my previous duties, I began teaching pregnant women about breastfeeding and helping them after delivery.
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In 2007, ten years into our marriage, Oleg changed to another auto body shop. Our income and benefits dramatically increased. Our house was on a busy street and not safe for our children, so we decided to buy a bigger house in a better neighborhood. We also bought two new cars on credit. Our life was good. We thought the money would always flow and we would be fine forever.
Raising our children was fun, but it also required lots of work to assure that our children were getting the best that we could provide them. I even volunteered in our church to teach Russian language to a class, which David attended. I understood the importance of our children knowing two languages, so I taught them how to read, write and speak Russian.
We were involved parents, trying to provide every opportunity for our children, and especially those opportunities we had not had as children. David was growing up as a serious and neat boy. Happy Kristina always helped me in the kitchen and took a good care of her younger brother, Michael. She loved doing his hair and dressing him up. And Michael was growing as a happy and patient baby. It was like he understood that I had to care for his brother and sister as well. With straight hair and blue eyes, Michael looked a lot like me. When Michael was growing up, we noticed that he was a very brave kid. At the age of four, he started riding his bike without training wheels, and two weeks later he rode a real dirt bike! We loved our children and provided what we could for them. Life with three children was so busy, but worth every moment of it!
Our third child, Michael
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As a family, we regularly attended church and read the Bible. Serving God and being close to Him was important to us. Oleg and I often discussed what our parents taught us, what we saw in church, and what we hoped to have in our life. We were a little dissatisfied that we were Christians, but didnt experience Gods big power in our life. In the Bible, the book of Revelation 3:15-17, we read that God preferred for people to be either cold or hot, but not lukewarm. It is better to be a non-believer, than to claim that you know God and profane His name with your bad deeds.
Up to this point in our marriage we were Christians, but we took being Christians for granted. For example, reading the Bible and attending church was something we did, but we werent fully engaged. We didnt do it with joy or excitement, because we felt that we were obligated to do it. We never questioned the relationship of ourselves to our faith. We just accepted what we were told. But now Oleg and I wanted to experience more of Gods love, power and presence in our life. So here, as I already said in the beginning of the book, our journey began
One evening, when we knelt to pray to God, I heard Oleg pray, God, I am so tired of being a lukewarm Christian. I want to have a personal relationship with You! I want to experience more of Your love, more of Your power and more of Your presence in my life. Please send a situation into my life that will show me WHO YOU REALLY ARE! For a moment, I felt scared and wondered what Oleg was talking about. How would this change our family and our life? I thought. But I loved Oleg and trusted him. I thought he must know what he is asking for, but I had no idea what this would mean for our family. It struck me it was an important moment in our lives.
From that day, Oleg totally changed. He began reading the Bible daily, sharing what he learned with us, and seeking answers for questions he had. It was like he was driven and wanted to know more. After he finished reading the book of Romans in the Bible, he did not understand it and had lots of questions. He wanted to know who the Apostle Paul wrote the book of Romans to, what he meant, and did it apply to us? We had been taught that certain parts of the Bible applied only to Gentiles, while other parts applied to Jews.
One day Oleg told me, You know, Olga, if I want to know more about God, I probably have to learn more about the days of Moses, Jesus and His Apostles.
I wondered what information he will be able to find. Oleg used the internet for research and was excited to share with me daily what new insights he learned. His love and interest in the truth about God grew. He simply had to know more. As we discussed and thought about what he learned, we began to have questions about what we were taught and prayed to God to reveal us the Truth. I also read the Bible, but hearing what Oleg shared with me was very interesting and unknown to me before. We began to question what God actually required of us, and what was the purpose of our life. Each question would lead us to other questions, like an unwinding spool of yarn. As a family, we studied and grew together in our faith.
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At the same time, significant changes happened in our life. Olegs job with a good salary was an hour drive each way. He decided to switch to a closer location, to be able to spend more time with the family. Unfortunately, his new location was not as busy. Olegs income decreased because there was less work and he was paid on a piece rate.
At about the same time, Olegs Father passed away at the age of 54. It was a big hit for Olegs whole family. It took them a while to accept it and move on.
Soon after, I injured my shoulders, which led to pain for the next few years and frequent doctor visits. Also, the economy took a downfall and our WIC department received a layoff notice due to lack of funding. I was going to lose my job in a year.
Between the house payment, car payments, our credit cards and other expenses, I wondered if we would ever be able to pay off our debt. I often cried out to God that we didnt have the strength to handle this.
One day, my friend invited me to a prayer group, where God spoke to me, My daughter, give your worry to Me and I will help you. All I need from you is PRAISE! So, every time I worried, I praised God and His peace would come. It was such a wonderful feeling! Inside my heart I knew that God would help us.
The downturn in the economy also impacted my brothers and sisters. At that time, our parents started a family prayer time on Wednesday evenings at their house. Together with our children, we worshiped God and prayed for our needs and for needs of others.
One evening, my Aunt prophesied to most of the people in the group, and then to me, My daughter, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Pray often for strength when a disaster comes to your family.
I was scared and thought that something bad would happen to Oleg. Later that evening, my Grandmother came up to me and said, Learn to be humble and patient. I praised God often and prayed for His protection over our family.
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One month was replaced by another and the time of my lay-off was getting closer. We made financial changes in our family. Unbelievably, our debt became smaller. We sold both cars, eliminating two big payments and bought cheaper cars. Saving every penny, we tried our hardest to pay off our credit cards. I stopped going shopping and sometimes even went to a food bank to get help with food. The year of lay-off notice gave us time to adjust to a lower income.
Surprisingly, a year and a half later, we were debt free, except the mortgage payment, which was still very high relative to our income. We sought a loan modification, which took about three years to be finalized. Looking back, we were amazed at how God had helped us. I stayed at home with David, Kristina, and Michael, who were 11, 10 and 6 years old. We were happy together and thanked God for blessing us.
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4
You never know what your real values are until you
are faced with difficult real-life choices.
We love children and were delighted to find out that I was pregnant with our fourth child. In the sixth week of the pregnancy I developed complications and went to see the doctor.
Olga, the ultrasound shows two fetuses, the doctor said. But one is smaller and not developing, and the other one is bigger and growing. This creates a risk of miscarriage. I need to prescribe strict bed rest for you.
A miscarriage? Two babies? One is not developing? A sense of dread descended over me like a shroud. Scared, I implored God to save our baby, if it was His will. A few weeks later, I felt better and one of the fetuses survived.
At four months of pregnancy I went for a second ultrasound.
It is a BOY! the nurse said.
Then she paused, seemed worried.
Actually, let me go get the doctor, she said. There seems to be a problem here.
The doctor came and very carefully examined the ultrasound images. The look of his face registered concern. I knew immediately, there were serious problems.
Olga, when we do the ultrasound, we can see if the babys heart is healthy. If a baby has Downs Syndrome or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, the heart looks different. I can see the left side of your babys heart is not developing. It means he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which is not good news.
For a moment, I couldnt speak. My heart started beating rapidly and my hands started shaking.
What? Our baby has health problems? tears filled my eyes.
This is a very rare heart defect which occurs in only 1 of 2,500 births. Usually, with this syndrome, 50% of babies also have Downs Syndrome. Your baby has no chance for life once born, the doctor explained.
Is there anything you can do to fix this problem? I asked shakely.
Previously, these babies had been dying right after birth. But 30 years ago, the doctors began doing surgeries to correct such problems. Usually they do an open-heart surgery on the first day of the babys life. Then, another surgery at six months, and the third one at the age of three years. The recovery is very difficult and not many babies survive these surgeries, the doctor answered with a sad tone.
I was devastated and shocked by the news and could not believe this was happening. Why had God allowed me to survive the risk of miscarriage, to let this happen to my child? I wasnt sure if I would be able to handle this situation, but just because I thought this, it didnt make the problems of my pregnancy go away. What if I could not handle this situation emotionally or physically? What about our other children? The questions raced through my mind. Then reality grabbed me. No matter how many questions I had, none of the answers would take away the harsh reality of this pregnancy.
Olga, I am referring you to a high-risk pregnancy specialist, in case you consider an abortion, the doctor continued.
I cant do an abortion. This is our baby, whom we already love so much.
All in tears I left the doctors office. Outside, shaking, crying, and having a hard time concentrating, I called Oleg at work and told him the devastating news.
Our baby is a boy, who is having many heart issues. He will die if we dont do the surgeries. Why did God let it happen to us?
Olga, God will help us. We should trust in His will, Oleg said with a calm voice.
But I thought reality is reality and miracles just dont happen in todays world. Men often hide their feelings and dont talk about them as much as women do. I wondered whether this was Oleg true feeling or if he was telling me what I needed to hear.
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That minute I remembered the Bible story of Job that Oleg and I had recently read. Job was a blameless, upright person, who feared God and shunned evil. Satan thought that Job was righteous because God had blessed him.
If you take everything away from Job, I will prove to You that Job will curse you, Satan told God.
I let you test Job. I am sure he will not curse Me. He is a righteous and blameless person, God replied to Satan.
With Gods permission Satan tested Job, by destroying his wealth, killing all his children and taking his health away from Job. But Job didnt curse God. He remained loyal to Him. Satan was proved wrong and God blessed Job even more than before, by giving him more children and wealth. I wondered if God was testing us, as He had tested Job?
I drove directly to Moms house to see and talk to her. I knew her comfort would be forth coming.
Our baby has very serious heart issues and may be born very ill, I broke in tears. He may not even survive
Daughter, please dont cry. Give your worry to God. He is in charge of everything and He will help you. We will be praying for your baby, hugging me, Mom tried to calm me down.
I picked up our children and went home. Later that evening, Oleg and I talked to our children.