As Hall stood there he heard his wifes voice coming out of the depth of the cellar, with that rapid telescoping of the syllables and interrogative cocking up of the final words to a high note, by which the West Sussex villager is wont to indicate a brisk impatience. George! You gart whad a wand?
At that he turned and hurried down to her. Janny, he said, over the rail of the cellar steps, tas the truth what Henfrey sez. Es not in uz room, e ent. And the front doors onbolted.
At first Mrs. Hall did not understand, and as soon as she did she resolved to see the empty room for herself. Hall, still holding the bottle, went first. If e ent there, he said, is close are. And whats e doin ithout is close, then? Tas a most curious business.
As they came up the cellar steps they both, it was afterwards ascertained, fancied they heard the front door open and shut, but seeing it closed and nothing there, neither said a word to the other about it at the time. Mrs. Hall passed her husband in the passage and ran on first upstairs. Someone sneezed on the staircase. Hall, following six steps behind, thought that he heard her sneeze. She, going on first, was under the impression that Hall was sneezing. She flung open the door and stood regarding the room. Of all the curious! she said.
She heard a sniff close behind her head as it seemed, and turning, was surprised to see Hall a dozen feet off on the topmost stair. But in another moment he was beside her. She bent forward and put her hand on the pillow and then under the clothes.
Cold, she said. Hes been up this hour or more.
As she did so, a most extraordinary thing happened. The bedclothes gathered themselves together, leapt up suddenly into a sort of peak, and then jumped headlong over the bottom rail. It was exactly as if a hand had clutched them in the centre and flung them aside. Immediately after, the strangers hat hopped off the bedpost, described a whirling flight in the air through the better part of a circle, and then dashed straight at Mrs. Halls face. Then as swiftly came the sponge from the washstand; and then the chair, flinging the strangers coat and trousers carelessly aside, and laughing drily in a voice singularly like the strangers, turned itself up with its four legs at Mrs. Hall, seemed to take aim at her for a moment, and charged at her. She screamed and turned, and then the chair legs came gently but firmly against her back and impelled her and Hall out of the room. The door slammed violently and was locked. The chair and bed seemed to be executing a dance of triumph for a moment, and then abruptly everything was still.
Mrs. Hall was left almost in a fainting condition in Mr. Halls arms on the landing. It was with the greatest difficulty that Mr. Hall and Millie, who had been roused by her scream of alarm, succeeded in getting her downstairs, and applying the restoratives customary in such cases.
Tas sperits, said Mrs. Hall. I know tas sperits. Ive read in papers of en. Tables and chairs leaping and dancing
Take a drop more, Janny, said Hall. Twill steady ye.
Lock him out, said Mrs. Hall. Dont let him come in again. I half guessed I might ha known. With them goggling eyes and bandaged head, and never going to church of a Sunday. And all they bottles moren its right for any one to have. Hes put the sperits into the furniture. My good old furniture! Twas in that very chair my poor dear mother used to sit when I was a little girl. To think it should rise up against me now!
Just a drop more, Janny, said Hall. Your nerves is all upset.
They sent Millie across the street through the golden five oclock sunshine to rouse up Mr. Sandy Wadgers, the blacksmith. Mr. Halls compliments and the furniture upstairs was behaving most extraordinary. Would Mr. Wadgers come round? He was a knowing man, was Mr. Wadgers, and very resourceful. He took quite a grave view of the case. Arm darmed if thet ent witchcraft, was the view of Mr. Sandy Wadgers. You warnt horseshoes for such gentry as he.
He came round greatly concerned. They wanted him to lead the way upstairs to the room, but he didnt seem to be in any hurry. He preferred to talk in the passage. Over the way Huxters apprentice came out and began taking down the shutters of the tobacco window. He was called over to join the discussion. Mr. Huxter naturally followed over in the course of a few minutes. The Anglo-Saxon genius for parliamentary government asserted itself; there was a great deal of talk and no decisive action. Lets have the facts first, insisted Mr. Sandy Wadgers. Lets be sure wed be acting perfectly right in bustin that there door open. A door onbust is always open to bustin, but ye cant onbust a door once youve busted en.
And suddenly and most wonderfully the door of the room upstairs opened of its own accord, and as they looked up in amazement, they saw descending the stairs the muffled figure of the stranger staring more blackly and blankly than ever with those unreasonably large blue glass eyes of his. He came down stiffly and slowly, staring all the time; he walked across the passage staring, then stopped.
Look there! he said, and their eyes followed the direction of his gloved finger and saw a bottle of sarsaparilla hard by the cellar door. Then he entered the parlour, and suddenly, swiftly, viciously, slammed the door in their faces.
Not a word was spoken until the last echoes of the slam had died away. They stared at one another. Well, if that dont lick everything! said Mr. Wadgers, and left the alternative unsaid.
Id go in and askn bout it, said Wadgers, to Mr. Hall. Id dmand an explanation.
It took some time to bring the landladys husband up to that pitch. At last he rapped, opened the door, and got as far as, Excuse me
Go to the devil! said the stranger in a tremendous voice, and Shut that door after you. So that brief interview terminated.
Chapter VII
The unveiling
of the stranger
The stranger went into the little parlour of the Coach and Horses about half-past five in the morning, and there he remained until near midday, the blinds down, the door shut, and none, after Halls repulse, venturing near him.
All that time he must have fasted. Thrice he rang his bell, the third time furiously and continuously, but no one answered him. Him and his go to the devil indeed! said Mrs. Hall. Presently came an imperfect rumour of the burglary at the vicarage, and two and two were put together. Hall, assisted by Wadgers, went off to find Mr. Shuckleforth, the magistrate, and take his advice. No one ventured upstairs. How the stranger occupied himself is unknown. Now and then he would stride violently up and down, and twice came an outburst of curses, a tearing of paper, and a violent smashing of bottles.
The little group of scared but curious people increased. Mrs. Huxter came over; some gay young fellows resplendent in black readymade jackets and piqué paper ties for it was Whit Monday joined the group with confused interrogations. Young Archie Harker distinguished himself by going up the yard and trying to peep under the window-blinds. He could see nothing, but gave reason for supposing that he did, and others of the Iping youth presently joined him.
It was the finest of all possible Whit Mondays, and down the village street stood a row of nearly a dozen booths, a shooting gallery, and on the grass by the forge were three yellow and chocolate waggons and some picturesque strangers of both sexes putting up a cocoanut shy. The gentlemen wore blue jerseys, the ladies white aprons and quite fashionable hats with heavy plumes. Wodger, of the Purple Fawn, and Mr. Jaggers, the cobbler, who also sold old secondhand ordinary bicycles, were stretching a string of union-jacks and royal ensigns (which had originally celebrated the first Victorian Jubilee) across the road.
And inside, in the artificial darkness of the parlour, into which only one thin jet of sunlight penetrated, the stranger, hungry we must suppose, and fearful, hidden in his uncomfortable hot wrappings, pored through his dark glasses upon his paper or chinked his dirty little bottles, and occasionally swore savagely at the boys, audible if invisible, outside the windows. In the corner by the fireplace lay the fragments of half a dozen smashed bottles, and a pungent twang of chlorine tainted the air. So much we know from what was heard at the time and from what was subsequently seen in the room.
About noon he suddenly opened his parlour door and stood glaring fixedly at the three or four people in the bar. Mrs. Hall, he said. Somebody went sheepishly and called for Mrs. Hall.
Mrs. Hall appeared after an interval, a little short of breath, but all the fiercer for that. Hall was still out. She had deliberated over this scene, and she came holding a little tray with an unsettled bill upon it. Is it your bill youre wanting, sir? she said.
Why wasnt my breakfast laid? Why havent you prepared my meals and answered my bell? Do you think I live without eating?
Why isnt my bill paid? said Mrs. Hall. Thats what I want to know.
I told you three days ago I was awaiting a remittance
I told you two days ago I wasnt going to await no remittances. You cant grumble if your breakfast waits a bit, if my bills been waiting these five days, can you?
The stranger swore briefly but vividly.
Nar, nar! from the bar.
And Id thank you kindly, sir, if youd keep your swearing to yourself, sir, said Mrs. Hall.
The stranger stood looking more like an angry diving-helmet than ever. It was universally felt in the bar that Mrs. Hall had the better of him. His next words showed as much.
Look here, my good woman he began.
Dont good woman me, said Mrs. Hall.
Ive told you my remittance hasnt come.
Remittance indeed! said Mrs. Hall.
Still, I daresay in my pocket
You told me three days ago that you hadnt anything but a sovereigns worth of silver upon you.
Well, Ive found some more
Ul-lo! from the bar.
I wonder where you found it, said Mrs. Hall.
That seemed to annoy the stranger very much. He stamped his foot. What do you mean? he said.
That I wonder where you found it, said Mrs. Hall. And before I take any bills or get any breakfasts, or do any such things whatsoever, you got to tell me one or two things I dont understand, and what nobody dont understand, and what everybody is very anxious to understand. I want to know what you been doing tmy chair upstairs, and I want to know how tis your room was empty, and how you got in again. Them as stops in this house comes in by the doors thats the rule of the house, and that you didnt do, and what I want to know is how you did come in. And I want to know
Suddenly the stranger raised his gloved hands clenched, stamped his foot, and said, Stop! with such extraordinary violence that he silenced her instantly.
You dont understand, he said, who I am or what I am. Ill show you. By Heaven! Ill show you. Then he put his open palm over his face and withdrew it. The centre of his face became a black cavity. Here, he said. He stepped forward and handed Mrs. Hall something which she, staring at his metamorphosed face, accepted automatically. Then, when she saw what it was, she screamed loudly, dropped it, and staggered back. The nose it was the strangers nose! pink and shining rolled on the floor.
Then he removed his spectacles, and everyone in the bar gasped. He took off his hat, and with a violent gesture tore at his whiskers and bandages. For a moment they resisted him. A flash of horrible anticipation passed through the bar. Oh, my Gard! said some one. Then off they came.
It was worse than anything. Mrs. Hall, standing openmouthed and horrorstruck, shrieked at what she saw, and made for the door of the house. Everyone began to move. They were prepared for scars, disfigurements, tangible horrors, but nothing! The bandages and false hair flew across the passage into the bar, making a hobbledehoy jump to avoid them. Everyone tumbled on everyone else down the steps. For the man who stood there shouting some incoherent explanation, was a solid gesticulating figure up to the coat-collar of him, and then nothingness, no visible thing at all!
People down the village heard shouts and shrieks, and looking up the street saw the Coach and Horses violently firing out its humanity. They saw Mrs. Hall fall down and Mr. Teddy Henfrey jump to avoid tumbling over her, and then they heard the frightful screams of Millie, who, emerging suddenly from the kitchen at the noise of the tumult, had come upon the headless stranger from behind. These increased suddenly.
Forthwith everyone all down the street, the sweetstuff seller, cocoanut shy proprietor and his assistant, the swing man, little boys and girls, rustic dandies, smart wenches, smocked elders and aproned gipsies began running towards the inn, and in a miraculously short space of time a crowd of perhaps forty people, and rapidly increasing, swayed and hooted and inquired and exclaimed and suggested, in front of Mrs. Halls establishment. Everyone seemed eager to talk at once, and the result was Babel. A small group supported Mrs. Hall, who was picked up in a state of collapse. There was a conference, and the incredible evidence of a vociferous eyewitness. O Bogey! Whats he been doin, then? Aint hurt the girl, as e? Run at en with a knife, I believe. No ed, I tell ye. I dont mean no manner of speaking. I mean marn ithout a ed! Narnsense! tis some conjuring trick. Fetched off is wrapping, e did
In its struggles to see in through the open door, the crowd formed itself into a straggling wedge, with the more adventurous apex nearest the inn. He stood for a moment, I heerd the gal scream, and he turned. I saw her skirts whisk, and he went after her. Didnt take ten seconds. Back he comes with a knife in uz hand and a loaf; stood just as if he was staring. Not a moment ago. Went in that there door. I tell e, e aint gart no ed at all. You just missed en
There was a disturbance behind, and the speaker stopped to step aside for a little procession that was marching very resolutely towards the house; first Mr. Hall, very red and determined, then Mr. Bobby Jaffers, the village constable, and then the wary Mr. Wadgers. They had come now armed with a warrant.
People shouted conflicting information of the recent circumstances. Ed or no ed, said Jaffers, I got to rest en, and rest en I will.
Mr. Hall marched up the steps, marched straight to the door of the parlour and flung it open. Constable, he said, do your duty.
Jaffers marched in. Hall next, Wadgers last. They saw in the dim light the headless figure facing them, with a gnawed crust of bread in one gloved hand and a chunk of cheese in the other.
Thats him! said Hall.
What the devils this? came in a tone of angry expostulation from above the collar of the figure.
Youre a damned rum customer, mister, said Mr. Jaffers. But ed or no ed, the warrant says body, and dutys duty
Keep off! said the figure, starting back.
Abruptly he whipped down the bread and cheese, and Mr. Hall just grasped the knife on the table in time to save it. Off came the strangers left glove and was slapped in Jaffers face. In another moment Jaffers, cutting short some statement concerning a warrant, had gripped him by the handless wrist and caught his invisible throat. He got a sounding kick on the shin that made him shout, but he kept his grip. Hall sent the knife sliding along the table to Wadgers, who acted as goalkeeper for the offensive, so to speak, and then stepped forward as Jaffers and the stranger swayed and staggered towards him, clutching and hitting in. A chair stood in the way, and went aside with a crash as they came down together.