Chapter 4. My Lovely Opposite
Being friends with you for over 20 years (can you believe this?!) sometimes makes me feel like weve actually known each other for much MUCH longer Besides, every time we meet up (I wish we would meet more often), time behaves strangely: it pretends not to have existed for the past few months or years making us believe we only saw each other a couple of days ago. Or even better: catching up with you brings out my teenage self who can laugh unabashedly and be as lively and carefree as I used to be, and that is invaluable. Its also solid evidence that despite attending different high schools, then different universities, getting married, divorced, living in different cities, sometimes even countries, and having children, we havent changed that much since we first met as 13-year-old girls.
Coming to a new class after having had the same classmates for 7 years and seeing a multitude of mostly unfamiliar faces on the first day of school was quite overwhelming for me. You were in the same situation, of course, but as an extrovert, you seemed to be handling our new environment much better. Thats why your brown eyes not only reflected your intelligence but also a sense of calm and composure; combined with your pleasant smile, straight posture, and confident demeanor, you came across as one of the few approachable kids I had met. Given that there were only about 9 girls out of 25 students, it didnt take long for us to become really close friends.
Surely, we had our differences: extrovert and introvert, lively and reserved, talkative and taciturn, confident and timid, Gemini and Capricorn, Spears and Aguilera, Nick and Brian (of the BSB); nevertheless, we always enjoyed each others company. I think theres only one explanation for why we sometimes spoke ill of each other behind the other persons back: as hormonal teenagers, we simply werent able to accept and embrace our differences for a while. But then, about 18 months into our bumpy friendship, we had such a lovely, long heart-to-heart conversation that it took the bond and trust between us to an absolutely awesome new level.
Another amazing aspect of our friendship is our similar taste in music and literature. For the longest time, you were the only person I knew who enjoyed and listened to a lot of foreign music, and had a solid command of English, enabling you to understand not only song titles but also lyrics, and even to sing along! This was in the pre-Internet era, so we had to listen to a song bit by bit, rewinding the tape a million times until we could have a more or less coherent version of the lyrics on our hands. The amount of green tea consumed in your kitchen or mine while discussing everything under the sun (mostly boys, of course) was simply astounding. And it must have been astronomical, the number of times you heard me say, Its all gonna be alright! whenever you shared your worries.
What truly matters, however, is growing up alongside you and our gang during the most turbulent years of our teenage lives. We spent time together, celebrated the turn of the millennia, drank cheap beer and even cheaper wine, gossiped, admired Keanus chiseled brows as he woke up at his computer as Neo, excelled in school, got philosophical, dreamed about what the future might hold for us, got shut out of a classmates apartment barefoot, buried time capsules that we couldnt find a year later Ed Sheeran had a castle on the hill while we had a rundown stadium to hang out in. Youre one of the few people who raised me up in a way, and these things will stay with me forever, much like you and our timeless friendship.
Chapter 5. My English Teacher
If I remember correctly, I first met you on your birthday (and Im rarely mistaken about dates, especially when it comes to the birthdays of the most important people in my life). How do I know this, considering it was our first lesson together and you didnt say anything about it?
Apparently, I had been putting in a lot of hard work and showing even more enthusiasm for learning English. However, without the knowledge and practice that I lacked, it wasnt enough for me to enter that one particular high school. So, my English learning club hired you, one of the best English teachers in the city, as my tutor to increase my chances of passing those exams successfully (my family was too poor to afford lessons with you) Fortunately, it all worked out and I was on my way to our first class, bringing you some paperwork to sign for you to get officially hired. I couldnt help but notice your full name and birth date on the first page and was genuinely surprised to realize you were okay with working on such a day. Back then, birthdays were almost sacred to me. Little did I know that when I grew up, I wouldnt care about my birthdays, either.
Though I was extremely enthusiastic about learning English, I had next to zero speaking practice and struggled to string a couple of words together. However, you were incredibly patient, friendly and always encouraged me to find alternative ways to express my thoughts when I would get stuck on a single word and couldnt move forward. After four months of weekly lessons with you and a lot of studying on my own, I was able to grasp certain grammar concepts, expand my vocabulary, write and memorize a few simple texts, and most importantly, start to overcome my shyness and actually be able to answer topic questions. I was amazed at how clear everything became after your simple yet brilliant explanations.
Entering the exam room, I was pleasantly surprised to see you as one of the examiners. It immediately lifted my spirits and put me in a much better mood than before. I truly believe that I have the Universe to thank, as when it was my turn to speak, the seat in front of you got vacant and not the other teacher. The simple fact of having a familiar face to talk to reduced my nervousness and boosted my confidence, even if only slightly. It was enough to pull myself together and answer all the questions calmly, although a bit awkwardly. You were fair and unbiased, but somehow I got the feeling afterwards that I had done pretty well and had a real chance of getting accepted. And I was accepted! This was my first accomplishment that held more significance for my life than words could ever express.
When the high school year began, I was no longer surprised to find myself in your group, I was thrilled! At the time I had no idea how academically challenging studying would be, but I was ready for it because I knew deep down that we had the most patient, talented, engaging, and simply fun teacher we could have.
Over the next two years, we had English classes every other day four hours at a time. I also spent countless hours doing grammar exercises, memorizing new vocabulary, writing essays, and coming up with what I would tell about my previous day in the next lesson. I was like a sponge, absorbing everything you and my group mates said, and was constantly in awe of how effortlessly you could speak another language and how much you knew about other cultures. I wasnt simply motivated, I was actually inspired to work harder because I saw it in your eyes how much joy speaking another language could bring. It all clicked; I was definitely in the right place doing what I loved and would always enjoy: exploring other languages. Your classes continued to pave the road for my love of languages, which had been initiated by my French teacher in middle school.
Also, it was during your classes that I first realized, even if only subconsciously, that teaching could actually be very fun. One just needs to find the right subject or topic, the right students, and the right environment to make this process truly effective and enjoyable for everyone involved. For now, I have found my own perfect combination and I thank you for showing me how it could be done.
I have always cherished the heartfelt words you wrote in my graduation yearbook. In your little note, you expressed how wonderful it had been to know me for 2.5 years and to watch me grow from a shy child into a lovely young lady with more confidence in herself. It was the best compliment I had ever received from an adult and a teacher. It meant that you saw us not just as students, but as individuals with vast universes of feelings, personality traits and aspirations, and that was truly invaluable.
I want to express my eternal gratitude to you once again (in addition to all the Facebook messages Ive sent on your birthdays over the 20+ years of knowing you) because I never get tired of doing it. Thank you for becoming a role model of a teacher and a person for me, for believing in me, and for encouraging me to express myself since our very first lesson together. This gratitude extends to a more recent moment as well when I shared with you my intention to write a collection of memoir-like essays, similar to those you assigned us in high school, and you were genuinely curious to read it. Well, here it is. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Chapter 6. A Fellow Capricorn
I first saw you at the desk that I was going to share with you for the next two amazing years at our incredible high school. On that September day, I was excited and scared about all the unknown things that were yet to come but I tried to keep my cool as much as I could. The only familiar face at that point was our teachers, but very soon, sitting next to you, I felt that you were friendly, as if you were eager to get to know me. I think we became friends as soon as we started talking. How could we not because as you later told me, you recognized me the moment I entered the classroom because you had seen me in a dream before. So, when I took a seat next to you, you knew right away that we would become very good friends.
You became my rock in this new place, and in a matter of just a few days we were inseparable like Siamese twins. Although you excelled in most subjects, especially English (oh, I was in awe of how fluently you spoke and how seemingly effortless it all was for you), I turned to you mostly for emotional support and inspiration, rather than help with homework. I still cant quite comprehend how we managed to talk for hours and hours on end, both in person in class and during breaks and on the phone almost every night. My parents must have been really unhappy about the growing phone bills, but I couldnt help myself because I had found someone who got me so well that, despite not sharing all of my interests, tolerated me with my unwavering love for The X Files, romantic novels, foreign pop singers, and boy bands. However, we did share a love for learning and a unique sense of humor, and most importantly, we just enjoyed each others company. We also knew all too well what it meant when no one really cared about our birthdays; being born almost a year apart, both in late December, we had witnessed our friends focusing more on the upcoming New Years than celebrating our birthdays. So, in our final year of school, we joined forces and had an unforgettable birthday party with a bunch of our friends just two days before the biggest Russian holiday. It was fun for both of us to be celebrated that way.
During those two years in high school, we went through thick and thin together: there was a lot of studying, laughing and crying, eating desserts at our favorite café, sharing stories of sleepless school nights spent writing essays in Russian or English or attempting to memorize math, chemical or physics formulas that seemed incomprehensible to us, exchanging thoughts on movies, sharing our own romantic stories and dreams. And countless jokes told and laughed at uncontrollably.
Sometime during the winter of our second and final year of high school, you pulled off such an incredible psychological prank on me that I still mentally applaud you for it today. I dont think it was intentional, though, you just went along and played off my reactions. Heres how it happened.
Everything started with a phrase you said almost dismissively, Were going to your place after school anyway. I must have raised my eyebrows in surprise and responded, We havent discussed it yet, but sure, lets go, itll be fun. You were equally surprised and said, But we did talk about it, yesterday. Since we lived very far from each other, about an hour bus ride through town, these kinds of trips hardly ever happened spontaneously and always took a while to arrange. So, naturally, I replied, No, we didnt. Id remember. Thats when you unabashedly got carried away, We did, at my place. My eyes and internal doubts grew bigger by the second. I exclaimed, Your place?! Id definitely remember if we had gone to your place after school yesterday. But I dont remember because it never happened. I went straight home, did my homework and then we talked on the phone as usual. Thats all. You kept insisting, providing some bulletproof evidence that sounded more and more plausible, while I, though initially convinced that nothing of the sort had happened, felt like I was quickly losing my mind Ten minutes later, when the next class began, you still hadnt cracked even a tiny smile, leaving me puzzled and confused. The best part about it all was that you never told me the truth, though I assure you I knew then and know now for a fact that there was nothing wrong with my memory. (You may try and convince me otherwise again! but Im not going to give in this time.=))
As a teenager and then young adult, I always needed just one truly close friend in my life as it brought me emotional comfort and a sense of security, even invincibility, in any extrovert-oriented (aka social) setting. So, when you left after school to study at a university in another city and did it with such seemingly carefree ease, it broke my heart more than the recent romantic breakup. It meant that I was left alone in my day-to-day life, which was truly unbearable for my younger self. While I did have other good friends, I didnt have the same quality of connection with them. It also meant I had to adapt to everything on my own, and that was really difficult, but it became an important life lesson, of course.
Although we used to be very close friends, youve always been a mystery to me. While you were honest and open, it felt like you held back more than I did. And again, it often discouraged and hurt me, being someone who values close friendships. However, after all these years, it doesn't really matter anymore. Whats important is that you were there for me in high school, sharing the experience of the craziest two years of our lives, and that, as you used to say, will stay with us for all lifetimes.
Chapter 7. Infatuated
What a yummy-looking apple! I exclaimed to myself as I was browsing through a grocery store to buy some food for our 30-hour train ride back home. Little did I know at that moment that the fruit would play a pivotal role in the future events of my life. But Im getting ahead of myself so lets rewind to about a week before.