Methodius seated the necromancer at the round table opposite him. The magician, who turned out to be almost twice as tall as the old polyglot, felt very uncomfortable on the small, low three-legged stool. But he endured, because investing knowledge in five minutes is much faster than learning the language on your own.
In general, the magic of polyglots has always been considered very dangerous. Any magical effect on the brain is like this. One wrong word in a spell, and a person may forever lose his memory or knowledge of his native language. Therefore, as Dan managed to tell Alina on the way to Methodius, in childhood all wizards and sorcerers studied one or two foreign languages, and then, at the age of twenty, they were allowed to visit a polyglot magician so that they could correct their grammar and remove their accent. Such actions are not too dangerous; it is difficult to make mistakes in spells to improve knowledge. Why is that? The whole point is not the science of magic, but the fact that nothing can be given for nothing. And even if a licensed polyglot magician teaches someone to speak gibberish in five minutes, on the other side of the world a connoisseur of this language may completely lose his memory. Wizards called this effect the law of equal exchange in nature.
Methodius wrapped the dictionary in skin and placed it in front of the client. After that, he quickly ran to the kitchen and brought a kettle. Judging by the way the grandfather carried it, it was heavy, filled to the brim. From there he poured a viscous black liquid (was it tar?) into a bowl that stood on the window, and then splashed the substance onto the skin in which the book was wrapped. As soon as the first drop touched the fur, the fur began to glow bright blue. Having finished with the impregnation, the old man removed the skin from the book and wrapped it around the head of Dan, who was sitting at the table.
The black dragon sat comfortably in a corner and immersed himself in his favorite pastime. Alina looked at everything that was happening with her mouth open. She had seen similar actions more than once in television programs on the first layer, where various psychics and other suspicious individuals who considered themselves magicians performed.
When the skin stopped glowing, the old man removed the bandage from Dans head. The necromancer sat on a chair, closed his eyes, and was afraid to move.
«Well,» the grandfather lisped, «say something in the new Russian.»
Cool, bro! the magician slapped the old man on the shoulder, so that he could not stand on his feet and sat down in surprise.
Whaaaat?!?!?! Alina was indignant.
Oh, great, chick! Dan smiled, hugging the girls hips.
Five minutes ago, this intelligent Czech guy addressed her so respectfully: «beautiful girl,» but what if something is wrong Is it possible that along with knowledge of the language, a person acquires disgusting character traits?
«Dan,» she said offended, pulling his hand away. What do you say?
She grabbed the guy by the shoulders and started shaking him in the hope of knocking out this gross nonsense.
What a cool bazaar, absolutely nothing! Are you, like, not getting it?
«I get it, I get it,» the sorceress mimicked him, «but why, having learned a foreign language, start being rude in it?»
Im freaking out! the necromancer rolled his eyes, picking up a thin dictionary.
«Modern Russian slang and obscene expressions,» Alina read what was written on the cover.
«Dear Methodius,» she shouted at her grandfather, «do you even pay attention to what you teach a respectable foreigner?»
Why the hell stare?
The old man chuckled, took the book from the girl and put it in its place, and then began to look for something.
Isnt this necessary? she asked, taking out from under the leg of the stepladder Ozhegovs thick black Explanatory Dictionary.
Almost every Russian schoolchild knew this book very well. But the ladder, from under which the thick book was taken out, naturally fell to one side along with the old man.
It turned out that the grandfather carelessly touched his lamp and it, coming into contact with the bears skin, started a serious fire. With the number of books in the room, everyone present could have burned alive in a matter of minutes.
The dragon jumped up on its hind legs, clutching the precious manuscript to its chest. Dan, deprived of any vocabulary except Russian Newspeak, stomped on the tabletop and shouted heart-rendingly:
The author is burning! Ftopku sovar of the Russian language!
Methodius, numb with horror, watched as the fire approached both him and his precious collection.
And only Alina, who by some miracle did not lose her composure, stretched out her hand, free from the dictionary, and shouted:
Sandstorm!
The spell again spontaneously surfaced in her memory, from which book or film she did not remember. The girl imagined how the earth began to move under her feet, how dust rose in a column and circulated around her feet, and then dispersed and was covered by fire, which had almost reached the dictionaries of the polyglot magician. The grandfather sat on his knees, looking with fear at the burnt wool on one of the skin-carpets, and tears welled up in his clear blue eyes. His collection was saved!!!
When Alina lowered her hand, the tornado stopped circulating, and the sand fell to the ground in an even circle around the girl. Definitely, after this spell, the magicians apartment required cleaning.
The sorceress put Ozhegovs dictionary on the table at Dans feet and stared at the old man with an imperious gaze:
Teach him Russian back! Correct your mistakes.
Grateful for saving the collection, Methodius agreed, despite the fact that the fire happened due to Alinas carelessness. Somehow the old man quickly forgot the bad things, but he seemed to remember the good things well for a long time. He did not demand a hundred dollars from the brave sorceress in exchange for the necromancers half-burnt bill sticking out of the sandy hill.
Grandfather shook the sand out of his sandals and asked Dan to get off the table and sit on a chair.
Shave yourself! the client stuck his tongue out at the grandfather.
Ill shave you! the magician groaned, kicking one of the table legs.
Dan expected anything from the old man, but not that his leg would be kept on his word of honor. As a result, he fell painfully on his back, hitting his head on a stack of dictionaries.
Youre a fool, rotten old man, ax-head! he hissed through his teeth, picking up the extinguished lamp from the floor.
Alina took it from the magicians hands and, snapping her fingers, lit the wick, wanting to give the lamp to her grandfather, but that was not the case. The necromancer held it by the base with a strong grip and was not going to give it up. He jerked the lamp towards himself so that the sorceress almost fell nose-first into the dusty, scattered books of the old man Methodius. Dan squeezed the lamp in his left hand, and with his right began to move over the flame, as if he was writing fancy runes in the air. So this is how necromancers cast their spells!
The magician with the lamp walked straight towards the old polyglot, who at that time was reciting a spell over Ozhegovs dictionary.
The dragon diligently scribbled quatrains without raising his head. At such moments, the muse came to him without asking and did not leave until the poets owner accomplished a feat.
Alina was unable to do anything. All that remained was to rely on fate. The foxs skin sparkled blue, and the old man turned to the necromancer. And he had already raised a lamp high above him with a ready-made spell and a soul summoned from the Kingdom of the Dead. Its just like an illustration for «Crime and Punishment» in the magical world, only Raskolnikovs motives are completely stupid.
The grandfather, as the sorceress often recalled later, turned out to be dexterous and prepared for any actions on the part of his clients, so he accurately threw the skin at the necromancers head, and he rolled head over heels at his feet.
Blinded Dan, who did not expect such a turn of events, dropped the lamp into a pot of ficus standing on the window.
At the same moment, the room was filled with the smell of incense, and everyone present closed their eyes, because the acrid fog painfully stung the iris. Only a minute later the desperate dragon-writer decided to see with his own eyes the heroic feat of his grandfather.
What was it? the necromancer removed the faded fox skin from his forehead.
Alina and Methodius sat in different corners, closing their eyes and bowing their heads. The satisfied dragon, biting his tongue, wrote the next chapter of the poem, and instead of a ficus, a motionless long-haired tortoiseshell cat sat on the window.
Yana?! Dan rolled his eyes. I didnt call you!
The animal meowed in response, but did not move. The frightened sorceress first opened one eye, and, realizing that the danger had passed, opened the second one. The polyglot grandfather did the same.
«Forgive me, dear Methodius, for the mess and the attack on your person,» Dan bowed and continued to apologize, «when you gave me a dictionary of modern Russian slang, I could barely restrain myself from saying something obscene, and for some other reason the vocabulary began to control my character.
«Believe me, dear Daniel,» the old man said, putting his hand on his heart; the necromancer understood from his eyes that he was sincere. I didnt want to teach you this. When you said that you wanted to know modern Russian, I seemed to be bewitched, and I went for a slang dictionary.
Dan and Alina looked at each other. And the dragon settled down on an overturned table, as if on a barricade, and began to read a poem in Czech:
Fifa Pink is a bastard, And she secretly ordered the polyglot Dan to teach him swear words.
«Dear Daniel,» Methodius interrupted the dragons recitation, «to atone for my guilt, I am ready to do anything for you.»
The necromancer scratched the back of his head, and at this time the dragon continued:
Skins are burning, books are burning, and Alina slowly, a tornado suddenly catches up with everything, and that fire goes out!
Hurray, its catching up and fading! I finally got a rhyme! the poet squealed, jumping up and down on the table lying on its side.
ABOUT! Dan raised his index finger up, teach our dragon Japanese. Let him write haiku! And so that he could not express himself in other languages!
And, after thinking a little, he added:
That is, he can understand, but he doesnt speak.
Youre welcome.
Dan, what are you doing? the pet was indignant and was about to rush at the owner, but Alina held the animal by the paws, and Methodius successfully carried out the retraining operation.
The tortoiseshell cat watched everything that was happening in surprise, but could not move.
«Arigato, Mefodiusu-san! note 6,» the dragon bowed to the magician when the polyglot removed the skin from his forehead.
«Now say it in Russian,» Dan grinned.
«Denieru-sama no baka desunote 7,» the animal snorted, clutching the precious notebook to its chest.
The old man laughed hysterically, his mustache comically moving up and down, and the wizards, who did not understand anything in Japanese, could only guess what was funny about the black dragon.
«Its okay, youll have a fight and then youll stop,» the grandfather grinned, stroking him on the withers.
He only looked at everyone present with a pitiful glance.
«Allow me, Mr. Methodius,» the necromancer began, not paying attention to the pet, «to borrow a dictionary of curse words from you in exchange for the cat that is on your window.»
The old man ruffled his beard, looking first at the furry creature, then at the book in Dans hands, but still agreed to the exchange, complaining about his guilt. This was all the magician needed. He put the bad dictionary in his bosom and, taking Alina by the arm, gallantly said goodbye to the polyglot.
«Jaa ne, Mefodiusu-san! note 8,» the dragon shouted, leaving the linguists apartment.
As soon as the grandfather closed the door behind the guests, Dan pressed Alina to his chest, so that the girl did not even have time to be embarrassed from surprise, and the animal, with its mouth open, watched what the owner would do next. And this event will become the theme of his first tercet in his life.
«I dont like this grandfather,» the necromancer whispered in her ear.
The girl sighed sadly. She expected at least a kiss on the cheek, and again there were things to do, surveillance, FIFA and other nasty things of this world.
«Dont be upset,» he took her hand, «do you think I didnt leave him a cat on the window on purpose?» I am, of course, not a spy, but I have some experience in this matter.
Is the dictionary enchanted?
«I dont think so, Ill have to buy a magic meter and check.» Most likely, this is due to the old man, who was treated before our arrival.
All three went downstairs. As soon as the sorceress Alina, Dan and the dragon came out from under the entrance canopy, a large red brick fell right in front of them and broke into small pieces.
«Those times are like in a joke,» the sorceress said under her breath, remembering her previous life.
KSO! note 9 the dragon swore, but no one understood him, they only appreciated negative emotions.
The wizards looked up and noticed that a small imp was sitting on the fifth floor balcony, and next to him were three more bricks.
Here are those two! the devil chuckled, throwing off the second brick.
If the «Shield spell had been cast a millisecond longer, then none of the victims would have been alive. And so, hitting the transparent shield, like a drop on an umbrella, it shattered into small pieces. The disgruntled little devil wanted to throw down two more bricks, but, realizing that the idea would not succeed anyway, he disappeared into the apartment, finally waving his tail with a donut on the tip.
«Eh, a good witness ran away,» Dan was upset, «otherwise we are all hiding, hiding and doing nothing.»
«Yeah,» Alina agreed, «well find it again.» These evil spirits are following in droves.
«So desu ko! note 10,» the dragon confirmed.
If he often speaks Japanese, then the sorceress and the necromancer will soon learn this language even without any polyglot magicians.
«Okay, lets go to the metro,» Dan took the sorceress by the hand, «well go to the hotel, but for now Ill tell you how the world works.» Otherwise, on your first layer they dont know anything except all sorts of Darwinian theories.
They walked slowly along the wide avenue, and the magician began to give a tedious lecture, which even the black dragon refused to write down. Or maybe his muse just got bored, and they didnt want to put together hockey.
Alina made a discovery for herself: on planet Earth, it turns out, there are two layers of reality and they develop in parallel, in the same way, because energy constantly flows from one to another and back. There is a third layer, but everything that goes there can never return, which is why that world is called the Kingdom of the Dead. No one knows what is going on there, because not a single living creature has been able to return from there. Yes, there are magicians on the second layer who call themselves necromancers, who can temporarily summon someone from the Kingdom of the Dead, but, alas, for a finite period. A blocker is placed on the soul so that it does not tell anyone about living there. There are rumors that there is an eternal carefree life there, but no one has yet confirmed or denied this speculation.