The tub was filled with warm scented water, and the room was dark except for four candles flickering on the basin.
“Welcome home, darling.” She slipped out of her negligee, and stepped into the bathtub. He followed her.
“Susan …”
“Don’t talk. Lean back against me.”
He felt her hands gently caressing his back and shoulders and he felt the soft curves of her body against him, and he forgot how tired he was. They made love in the warm water and when they had dried themselves, Susan said, “So much for the foreplay. Now, let’s get serious.”
They made love again, and later, as Robert fell asleep, holding Susan in his arms, he thought, It will always be like this. Forever.
The following Monday morning Robert reported for his first day of duty at the 17th District Office of Naval Intelligence at the Pentagon.
Admiral Whittaker said warmly, “Welcome home, Robert. Apparently you impressed the hell out of Colonel Johnson.”
Robert smiled. “He’s quite impressive himself.”
Over coffee, the Admiral asked, “Are you ready to go to work?”
“Eager.”
“Good. We have a situation in Rhodesia …”
Working in the Office of Naval Intelligence was even more exciting than Robert had anticipated. Each assignment was different, and Robert was given the ones classified “extremely sensitive”. He brought in a defector who revealed Noriega’s drug-smuggling operation in Panama, exposed a mole working for Marcos in the American Consulate in Manila, and helped set up a secret listening post in Morocco. He was sent on missions to South America and to the East Indies. The only thing that disturbed him was the long separations from Susan. He hated to be away from her, and he missed her terribly. He had the excitement of his job to occupy him, but Susan had nothing. Robert’s caseload kept increasing. He spent less and less time at home, and that was when the problem with Susan became serious.
Whenever Robert came home, he and Susan would run hungrily into each other’s arms and make passionate love. But those times began to be further and further apart. It seemed to Susan that no sooner did Robert return from one assignment, than he was sent away on another.
To make matters worse, Robert could not discuss his work with her. Susan had no idea where he went or what he was doing. She knew only that whatever he was involved in was dangerous, and she was terrified that one day he would leave and never return. She dared not ask him questions. She felt like a stranger, completely shut out of an important part of his life. Of their life. I can’t go on like this, Susan decided.
When Robert returned from a four-week assignment in Central America, Susan said, “Robert, I think we had better have a talk.”
“What’s the problem?” Robert asked. He knew what the problem was.
“I’m frightened. We’re slipping away from each other, and I don’t want to lose us. I couldn’t stand it.”
“Susan …”
“Wait. Let me finish. Do you know how much time we’ve spent together in the last four months? Less than two weeks. Whenever you come home I feel as though you’re a visitor, instead of my husband.”
He took Susan in his arms and held her tightly. “You know how much I love you.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “Please don’t let anything happen to us.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “I’ll have a talk with Admiral Whittaker.”
“When?”
“Immediately.”
“The Admiral will see you now, Commander.”
“Thank you.”
Admiral Whittaker was seated behind his desk, signing papers. He looked up as Robert entered and smiled. “Welcome home, Robert, and congratulations. That was an excellent job in El Salvador.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Sit down. Can I offer you some coffee?”
“No, thank you, Admiral.”
“You wanted to talk to me? My secretary said it was urgent. What can I do for you?”
It was difficult to begin. “Well, sir, this is personal. I’ve been married less than two years, and …”
“You made a wonderful choice, Robert. Susan’s a fine woman.”
“Yes, I agree. The problem is that I’m away most of the time, and she’s unhappy about it.” He added quickly, “And she has every right to be. It isn’t a normal situation.”
Admiral Whittaker leaned back in his chair and said, thoughtfully, “Of course, what you’re doing isn’t a normal situation. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.”
“I know,” Robert said stubbornly, “but I’m not prepared to sacrifice my marriage. It means too much to me.”
The Admiral studied him reflectively. “I see. What is it you’re asking?”
“I was hoping that you could find some assignments for me where I’m not away from home so much. This is such a large operation, there must be a hundred things I could do closer to home.”
“Closer to home.”
“Yes.”
The Admiral said slowly, “You’ve certainly earned that. I don’t see why something like that can’t be arranged.”
Robert smiled in relief. “That’s very good of you, Admiral. I would certainly appreciate it.”
“Yes, I think we can definitely arrange that. Tell Susan for me that the problem is solved.”
Robert stood up, beaming. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
Admiral Whittaker waved a hand of dismissal. “You’re too valuable a piece of manpower for me to let anything happen to you. Now go home to your bride.”
When Robert told Susan the news, she was thrilled. She threw her arms around him. “Oh, darling, that’s wonderful.”
“I’m going to ask him for a couple of weeks off so we can take a trip somewhere. It will be a second honeymoon.”
“I’ve forgotten what a honeymoon is like,” Susan murmured. “Show me.”
Robert showed her.
Admiral Whittaker sent for Robert the following morning. “I just wanted you to know I’m making some arrangements about the matter we discussed yesterday.”
“Thank you, Admiral.” Now was the time to mention taking a leave. “Sir …”
Admiral Whittaker said, “Something has come up, Robert.” The Admiral began to pace. When he spoke, there was a note of deep concern in his voice. “I’ve just been informed that the CIA has been infiltrated. It seems that there has been a steady leak of Top Secret information. All they know about the spy is that his code name is ‘the Fox’. He’s in Argentina right now. They need someone outside the Agency to handle the operation. The Deputy Director of the CIA has asked for you. They would like you to track the man down and bring him back. I told them the decision is up to you. Do you want to undertake it?”
Robert hesitated.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on it, sir.”
“I respect your decision, Robert. You’ve been travelling constantly and have never turned down an assignment. I know it hasn’t been easy on your marriage.”
“I’d like to take on this job, sir. It’s just that …”
“You don’t have to say it, Robert. My opinion of your work and dedication will always remain the same. I just have one favour to ask of you.”
“What’s that, Admiral?”
“The Deputy Director of the CIA asked to meet with you, regardless of your decision. As a courtesy. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not, sir.”
Early the next morning Robert drove to Langley for his meeting.
“Sit down, Commander,” the Deputy Director said after Robert entered the large corner office. “I’ve heard a lot about you. All good things, of course.”
“Thank you, sir.”
The Deputy Director was a man in his early sixties, reed thin with fine white hair and a small brush moustache that moved up and down as he drew on his pipe. A Yale graduate, he had joined the OSS during World War II and then moved into the CIA when it was formed after the conflict. He rose steadily up the ranks of the most powerful intelligence agency in the world.
“I want you to know, Commander, that I respect your decision.”
“I appreciate that.”
“There is one fact, however, that I feel I should bring to your attention.”
“What’s that, sir?”
“The President is personally involved in the operation to unmask the Fox.”
“I didn’t know that, sir.”
“He regards it – as I do, too – as one of the most important assignments this agency has had since its inception. I know of your situation at home, and I’m sure the President is sympathetic, too. He’s a real family man. But your not taking on this assignment might throw – how should I say it – a cloud on ONI and Admiral Whittaker.”
“The Admiral had nothing to do with my decision, sir,” Robert said.
“I understand that, Commander, but will the President understand that?”
The honeymoon will have to be postponed, Robert thought.
When Robert broke the news to Susan, he said gently, “This is my last overseas assignment. After this I’ll be home so much you’ll get sick of me.”
She smiled up at him. “There isn’t that much time in the world. We’re going to be together forever.”
The chase after the Fox was the most frustrating thing Robert had ever experienced. He picked up his trail in Argentina, but missed his quarry by one day. The trail led to Tokyo and China and then Malaysia. Whoever the Fox was, he left just enough of a trail to lead to where he had been, but never to where he was.
The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, and always Robert was just behind the Fox. He called Susan almost every day. In the beginning, it was, “I’ll be home in a few days, darling.” And then, “I might be home next week.” And then, finally, “I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” In the end, Robert had to give up. He had been on the Fox’s trail for two and a half months, with no success.
When he returned to Susan, she seemed changed. A little cooler.
“I’m sorry, darling,” Robert apologized. “I had no idea it would take so long. It was just …”
“They’ll never let you go, will they, Robert?”
“What? Of course they will.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’ve taken a job at Washington Memorial Hospital.”
He was taken aback. “You’ve what?”
“I’m going to be a nurse again. I can’t sit around waiting for you to come home to me, wondering where you are, and what you’re doing, wondering whether you’re dead or alive.”
“Susan, I …”
“It’s all right, my sweetheart. At least I’ll be doing something useful while you’re gone. It will make the waiting easier.”
And Robert had no answer to that.
He reported his failure to Admiral Whittaker. The Admiral was sympathetic.
“It’s my fault for agreeing to let you do it. From now on, we’ll let the CIA handle their own damned problems. I’m sorry, Robert.”
Robert told him about Susan taking a job as a nurse.
“That’s probably a good idea,” the Admiral said thoughtfully. “It will take the pressure off your marriage. If you took on some overseas caseloads now and then, I’m sure it won’t matter as much.”
“Now and then” turned out to be almost constantly. That was when the marriage really began to disintegrate.
Susan worked at Washington Memorial Hospital as an operating-room nurse and whenever Robert was home she tried to take time off to be with him, but she was caught up more and more in her work.
“I’m really enjoying it, darling. I feel I’m doing something useful.”
She would talk to Robert about her patients, and he remembered how caring she had been with him, how she had nurtured him back to health, back to life. He was pleased that she was doing important work that she loved, but the fact was, they were seeing less and less of each other. The emotional distance between them was widening. There was an awkwardness now that had not existed before. They were like two strangers trying desperately hard to make conversation.
When Robert returned to Washington from a six-week assignment in Turkey, he took Susan out to dinner at Sans Souci.
Susan said, “We have a new patient at the hospital. He was in a bad plane crash, and the doctors didn’t think he was going to live, but I’m going to see to it that he does.” Her eyes were glowing.
She was like that with me, Robert thought. And he wondered if she had leaned over the new patient and said, “Get well. I’m waiting for you.” He rejected the thought.
“He’s so nice, Robert. All the nurses are crazy about him.”
All the nurses? he wondered.
There was a small, nagging doubt at the back of his mind, but he managed to get rid of it.
They ordered dinner.
The following Saturday, Robert left for Portugal, and when he returned three weeks later, Susan greeted him excitedly.
“Monte walked today for the first time!” Her kiss was perfunctory.
“Monte?”
“Monte Banks. That’s his name. He’s going to be fine. The doctors couldn’t believe it, but we wouldn’t give up.”
We. “Tell me about him.”
“He’s really darling. He’s always giving us gifts. He’s very wealthy. He flies his own plane and he was in a bad crash, and …”
“What kind of gifts?”
“Oh, you know, just little things … candies and flowers and books and records. He tried to give all of us expensive watches but, of course, we had to refuse.”
“Of course.