"So the doctor said to me, 'I can only
advise you to leave the area. Otherwise I shall bury
you.' This croaker does a little undertaking on the side.
Piecing out the odds you might say, and throwing him-
self a spot of business now and then." So after the third
pink gin when he gets to know you, he shifts to dysen-
tery. "Most extraordinary discharge. More or less of a
whiteyellowcolorlikerancidjismandstringyyou
know."
Anexplorerin sunhelmet hasbrought downa citizen
with blow gunand curaredart. Headministers artificial
respirationwithonefoot.(Curare killsby paralyzing
the lungs. It has no other toxiceffect, isnot, strictly
speaking,apoison. Ifartificial respirationis admin-
isteredthesubjectwill notdie. Curareis eliminated
with greatrapidity bythe kidneys.)"That wasthe year
oftherindpestwhen everythingdied, eventhe hyenas.
...SothereIwas completelyout ofK.Y. inthe head-
watersoftheBaboonsasshole.Whenitcamethrough
byairdropmygratitudewasindescribable....Asa
matter offact, andI havenever toldthis beforeto a
living soul -- elusive blighters" -- his voice echoes through
a vast empty hotel lobby in 1890style, redplush, rubber
plants,giltandstatues--"I wasthe onlywhite man
everinitiatedintotheinfamousAgoutiSociety, wit-
nessed and participated in their unspeakable rites."
(TheAgoutiSocietyhasturnedoutforaChimu
Fiesta.(TheChimuofancientPeruweremuchgiven
tosodomyandoccasionallystagedbloodybattles with
clubs,runningupseveralhundredcasualtiesinthe
course of an afternoon.) Theyouths, sneeringand goos-
ingeach otherwith clubs,troop outto thefield. Now
the battle begins.
Gentlereader,the uglinessof thatspectacle buggers
description.Whocanbeacringingpissingcoward,
yet viciousas apurple-assed mandril,alternating these
deplorableconditionslikevaudevilleskits?Whocan
shit on a fallen adversarywho, dying,eats theshit and
screamswithjoy?Whocanhangaweakpassiveand
catchhissperminmouthlikea viciousdog? Gentle
reader,Ifainwould spareyou this,but mypen hath
itswillliketheAncientMariner.Oh Christwhat a
sceneisthis!Cantongueorpenaccommodatethese
scandals?Abeastlyyoung hooliganhas gougedout the
eyeofhisconfrere andfuck himin thebrain. "This
brain atrophy already, and dry as grandmother's cunt.
"This
brain atrophy already, and dry as grandmother's cunt."
HeturnsintoRockandRollhoodlum. "Iscrew the
old gash --like acrossword puzzlewhat relationto me
is the outcomeif itoutcome? Myfather alreadyor not
yet?Ican'tscrew you,Jack, youis aboutto become
myfather,andbetter'tweretocut yourthroat and
screwmymotherplayingitstraightthanfuckmy
fatherorvice versamutatis mutandisas thecase may
be,andcutmymother'sthroat,thatsaintedgash,
thoughitbethebestwayIknowto stemher word
hordeandfreezeherasset.I meanwhen afellow be
caughtshortinthe switchesand don'tknow ishe to
over up his assto 'greatbig daddy'or commita torso
jobontheoldlady.Giveme twocunts anda prick
ofsteelandkeepyourdirty fingerout ofmy sugar
bumwhatyouthinkIamapurple-assedreception
alreadyfugitivefromGibraltar?Maleandfemale
castratedhethem.Whocan'tdistinguishbetween the
sexes?I'llcutyourthroatyou whitemother fucker.
Comeoutinthe openlike mygrandchild andmeet thy
unbornmotherindubiousbattle.Confusionhath fuck
his masterpiece. I have cut the janitor's throatquite by
mistake of identity, hebeing sucha horriblefuck like
the old man. And in the coal bin all cocks are alike."
Soleaveus returnto thestricken field.One youth
hathpenetratehiscomrade,whilstanotheryouth does
amputatetheproudestpartofthatcock'squivering
beneficiary so thatthe visitingmember projectsto fill
thevacuumnatureabhorsandejaculate intothe Black
Lagoonwhereimpatientpiranhasnapupthechild
notyet bornnor --in viewof certainwell established
facts -- at all likely. )
Another bore carries around asuitcase fullof trophies
andmedals,cupsand ribbons:"Now thisI wonfor the
MostIngeniousSexDeviceContestinYokohama.(Hold
him,he'sdesperate.)TheEmperorgaveit tome him-
self and there were tears in hiseyes, andthe runners-up
all castrated theirselves with harakiriknives. AndI won
thisribboninaDegradationContestattheTeheran
meeting of Junkies Anonymous."
"Shotupmywife'sM.S,and herdown witha kidney
stonebigastheHopeDiamond.