HedroppedapillofpaperintoCarl'shand.His
dirty fingers, shiny over the dirt, rested on Carl's sleeve.
"There is the matter of my fee."
Carlslippedhimawaddedbanknote...andthe
doctorfadedintothegreytwilight, seedyand furtive
as an old junky.
CarlsawJoselitoin abig cleanroom fullof light,
withprivatebathandconcretebalcony.Andnothing
totalkaboutthereinthecoldemptyroom,water
hyacinthsgrowinginayellowbowlandtheChina
blueskyand driftingclouds, fearflickering inand out
ofhiseyes.Whenhesmiledthefearflewawayin
littlepieces oflight, lurkedenigmatically inthe high
coolcornersofthe room.And whatcould Isay feeling
deatharoundme,andthelittlebrokenimagesthat
come before sleep, there in the mind?
"Theywillsendmetothenewsanitariumtomorrow.
Come and visit me. I will be there alone."
He coughed and took a codeineeta.
"DoctorIunderstand,thatisIhavebeengiven to
understand,Ihavereadandheard --not amedical man
myself--don'tpretendto be-thatthe conceptof sani-
tariumtreatmenthasbeenmoreorlesssupplanted,
oratleastverydefinitelysupplemented,bychemical
therapy.Isthis accuratein youropinion? WhatI mean
to say is, Doctor, please tell me in all sincerity,as one
humanbeingto another,what isyour opinionof chemi-
cal versus sanitarium therapy? Are you a partisan?"
Thedoctor'sliversickIndianfacewas blankas a
dealer's.
"Completelymodern,asyoucansee,"hegestures
towardtheroomwiththepurplefingers ofbad circu-
lation."Bath...water...flowers.Thelot."Hefin-
ishedinCockneyEnglishwithatriumphantsmirk.
"I will write for you a letter."
"This letter? For the sanitarium?"
Thedoctorwasspeakingfromaland ofblack rocks
andgreat,iridescentbrownlagoons."The furniture...
modern and comfortable. You find it so of course?"
Carlcouldnotseethesanitariumowing toa false
frontofgreen stuccotopped byan intricateneon sign
dead and sinisteragainst thesky, waitingfor darkness.
Thesanitariumwasevidentlybuiltonagreatlime-
stonepromontory,overwhichfloweringtreesand vine
tendrilsbrokeinwaves.
Thesmellofflowerswas
heavy in the air.
Thecommandantesatatalongwoodentrestle under
avinetrellis.Hewasdoingabsolutelynothing.He
tooktheletterthatCarlhandedhimandwhispered
throughit,readinghislipswiththelefthand. He
stuck the letter on a spike over atoilet. Hebegan tran-
scribingfrom aledger fullof numbers.He wroteon and
on.
BrokenimagesexplodedsoftlyinCarl'shead, and
he was movingout ofhimself ina silentswoop. Clear
and sharp from agreat distancehe sawhimself sitting
inalunchroom.Overdoseof H.His oldlady shaking
him and holding hot coffee under his nose.
OutsideanoldjunkyinSantaClaussuit selling
Christmasseals. "Fighttuberculosis, folks,"he whis-
persinhisdisembodied,junky voice.Salvation Army
choirofsincere,homosexualfootballcoaches sings:
"In the Sweet Bye and Bye."
Carldrifted backinto hisbody, anearthbound junk
ghost.
"I could bribe him, of course."
Thecommandantetapsthetablewithonefinger
andhums"ComingThroughtheRye."Faraway,then
urgently near like afoghorn asplit secondbefore the
grinding crash.
Carl pulled a note half outof histrouser pocket....
Thecommandantewasstandingbyavastpanelof
lockersanddepositboxes.HelookedatCarl, sick
animaleyes goneout, dyinginside, hopelessfear re-
flecting the face of death. In the smell of flowers a note
half out of his pocket, theweakness hitCarl, shutting
ofhis breath,stopping hisblood. Hewas ina great
cone spinning down to a black point.
"Chemicaltherapy?" Thescream shotout ofhis flesh
throughemptylocker roomsand barracks,musty resort
hotels, andspectral, coughingcorridors ofT,B. sani-
tariums,themuttering,hawking, greydishwater smell
offlophousesandOldMen'sHomes, great,dusty cus-
tomshedsandwarehouses,throughbrokenporticoes
andsmearedarabesques,ironurinals wornpaper thin
by the urineof amillion fairies,deserted weed-grown
privies with a musty smellof shitturning backto the
soil, erect wooden phallus on the grave ofdying peoples
plaintive as leaves in the wind,across thegreat brown
river wherewhole treesfloat withgreen snakesin the
branchesand sad-eyedlemurs watchthe shoreout over
a vast plain(vulture wingshusk inthe dryair). The
wayisstrewnwithbrokencondomsand emptyH caps
andK.