'It's all about as curious as it can be, ' said the Gryphon.
'It all came different!’ the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin. ' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.
'Stand up and repeat
'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!’ thought Alice;’I might as well be at school at once. ' However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed: -
''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair. " As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes. '
[later editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child, ' said the Gryphon.
'Well, I never heard it before, ' said the Mock Turtle;’but it sounds uncommon nonsense. '
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if anything would
'I should like to have it explained, ' said the Mock Turtle.
'She can't explain it, ' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next verse. '
'But about his toes?’ the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How
'Go on with the next verse, ' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it begins "I passed by his garden. "'
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice: -
[later editions continued as follows:
]
'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff, ' the Mock Turtle interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever heard!’
'Yes, I think you'd better leave off, ' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to do so.
'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?’ the Gryphon went on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?’
'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind, ' Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup, " will you, old fellow?’
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this: -
'Chorus again!’ cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!’ was heard in the distance.
'Come on!’ cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
'What trial is it?’ Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!’ and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words: -
XI. Who Stole the Tarts?
The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them-all sorts of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them-'I wish they'd get the trial done, ' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!’ But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her, to pass away the time.
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge, ' she said to herself, 'because of his great wig. '
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
'And that's the jury-box, ' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures, ' (she was obliged to say 'creatures, ' you see, because some of them were animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors. ' She said this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done just as well.
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 'What are they doing?’ Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun. '
'They're putting down their names, ' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial. '
'Stupid things!’ Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!’ and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!’ on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell 'stupid, ' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!’ thought Alice.
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice could
'I keep them to sell, ' the Hatter added as an explanation;’I've none of my own. I'm a hatter. '
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
'Give your evidence, ' said the King;’and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot. '
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for her.
'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so. ' said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. 'I can hardly breathe. '
'I can't help it, ' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing. '
'You've no right to grow
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!’ on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
'Give your evidence, ' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you executed, whether you're nervous or not. '
'I'm a poor man, your Majesty, ' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, '-and I hadn't begun my tea-not above a week or so-and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin-and the twinkling of the tea-'
'The twinkling of the
'Of course twinkling
'I'm a poor man, ' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after that-only the March Hare said-'
'I didn't!’ the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
'You did!’ said the Hatter.
'I deny it!’ said the March Hare.
'He denies it, ' said the King: 'leave out that part. '
'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said-' the Hatter went on, looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.
'After that, ' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter-'
'But what did the Dormouse say?’ one of the jury asked.
'That I can't remember, ' said the Hatter.
'You
'You're a very poor
, ' said the King.
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.)
'I'm glad I've seen that done, ' thought Alice. 'I've so often read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court, " and I never understood what it meant till now. '
'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down, ' continued the King.
'I can't go no lower, ' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is. '
'Then you may
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!’ thought Alice. 'Now we shall get on better. '