'I'd rather finish my tea, ' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
'You may go, ' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
'-and just take his head off outside, ' the Queen added to one of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.
'Call the next witness!’ said the King.
The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once.
'Give your evidence, ' said the King.
'Shan't, ' said the cook.
The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 'Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness. '
'Well, if I must, I must, ' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?’
'Pepper, mostly, ' said the cook.
'Treacle, ' said a sleepy voice behind her.
'Collar that Dormouse, ' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!’
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.
'Never mind!’ said the King, with an air of great relief. 'Call the next witness. ' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear,
XII. Alice's Evidence
'Here!’ cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.
'Oh, I
'The trial cannot proceed, ' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right;’not that it signifies much, ' she said to herself;’I should think it would be
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
'What do you know about this business?’ the King said to Alice.
'Nothing, ' said Alice.
'Nothing
'Nothing
Un
'
Some of the jury wrote it down 'important, ' and some 'unimportant. ' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates;’but it doesn't matter a bit, ' she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!’ and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two.
. '
Everybody looked at Alice.
'
'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty, ' said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry;’this paper has just been picked up. '
'What's in it?’ said the Queen.
'I haven't opened it yet, ' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to-to somebody. '
'It must have been that, ' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know. '
'Who is it directed to?’ said one of the jurymen.
'It isn't directed at all, ' said the White Rabbit;’in fact, there's nothing written on the
'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?’ asked another of they jurymen.
'No, they're not, ' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing about it. ' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
'He must have imitated somebody else's hand, ' said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)
'Please your Majesty, ' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end. '
'If you didn't sign it, ' said the King, 'that only makes the matter worse. You
'That
his guilt, ' said the Queen.
'It proves nothing of the sort!’ said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know what they're about!’
'Read them, ' said the King.
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?’ he asked.
'Begin at the beginning, ' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop. '
These were the verses the White Rabbit read: -
'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet, ' said the King, rubbing his hands;’so now let the jury-'
'If any one of them can explain it, ' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him six pence. I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it. '
The jury all wrote down on their slates, '
'If there's no meaning in it, ' said the King, 'that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know, ' he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye;’ I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "
that
'Then the words don't
'No, no!’ said the Queen. 'Sentence first-verdict afterwards. '
'Stuff and nonsense!’ said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!’
'Hold your tongue!’ said the Queen, turning purple.
'I won't!’ said Alice.
'Off with her head!’ the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.
'Who cares for you?’ said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!’
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
'Wake up, Alice dear!’ said her sister;’Why, what a long sleep you've had!’
'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!’ said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream: -
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers-she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by-the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool-she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution-once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it-once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality-the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds-the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy-and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard-while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs.