Unless theyd shared the same hallucination, Koldo was real and Nicola wasnt crazy. Or maybe she was, despite that. Shed actually taken the napkin, curious to know what Koldos reaction would be.
But...what was he? she wondered again. What did say-la mean, the last word hed spoken to her? She had no idea how to spell it, so she hadnt been able to look it up online. And how had he vanished in the blink of an eye? Was he some kind of ghost that more than one person could see?
With as many near-death and death-death-for-a-minute-or-two experiences as shed had, she knew there was an afterlife. Several times shed floated into it. Once, shed even talked to some kind of being.
Isnt this nice? hed said. Hed had pale hair, eyes as clear as the ocean and a pair of beautiful white wings. Hed been handsome in a classic movie-star kind of way, and had worn a long robe as hed tried to urge her down a long tunnel. Isnt this peaceful? Just let go of your old life and you can have this forever.
Hed reminded her of the angels shed seen in picture books, but thered been something about his tone...something in those eyes...she had fought him, wanting to return to Laila, and for a second, only a second, his affable mask had fallen away and shed gotten a glimpse of bright red eyes, gnarled bones and fangs.
A monster. A monster just like she used to see as a child, before therapy and drugs had convinced her otherwise. Now she wasnt sure what to think about Koldo and the monsters and had no idea how to figure it out. There was an overload of information out there, but nothing had jelled with her.
The right answer would elicit peace; she knew that much. Peace always accompanied truth.
Koldo would just have to tell her. If he ever showed up again.
And he had to show up! Did he really know how to heal her heart? If so, could Lailas be healed, as well?
The more she wondered, the more hope filled her. To be able to fall asleep and not wonder if she would wake up, or if Laila would still be alive...to never fear losing another sibling. To be able to walk up a hill, holding Lailas hand, without either of them passing out...to be able to skip and jog and jump...to be able to dance! Oh, to dance. To fall in love, get married and have children. To live, really live, as theyd used to dream, before tragedy convinced them to deal in reality rather than fantasy.
Koldo had said he would be visiting the hospital again, but hadnt mentioned when. If he waited much longer, she might strangle him when he appeared, just to release a little steam. Every day she looked for him so diligently the nurses asked her if shed like a Xanax or ten to help her relax.
When has anything good ever happened to you?
The question wafted through her mind, and she frowned.
Being optimistic will only lead to crushing disappointment.
No. No, that wasnt true.
You dont need one more thing to worry about right now.
Her hands curled into fists. Before meeting Koldo, she might have caved under the weight of those thoughts. She definitely would have battled an upset stomach, paced a thousand miles without ever leaving her chair and frayed the edges of her nerves until her limbs began to shake uncontrollably. Now...
Im not listening to you. Or herself. Whatever! She had hope for the first time in years, and she wasnt letting go. She leaned back in the chair at her desk. Hell keep his word. Hell turn up, and hell answer all of my questions.
The depressing thoughts stopped, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
A knock sounded at the door.
Are you Nicola Lane? a hard, biting voice asked.
Nicola blinked rapidly and focused on the beautiful woman in the open doorway. She was tall, slender and black, with a fall of jet-black curls. Shadows consumed eyes the color of chocolate. Koldos were lighter, like caramel, and Wow, Nicola must be hungry.
The woman wore a black-and-white tailored jacket, a pencil skirt and mile-high stilettos that perfectly complemented toenails painted black-and-white. Everything about her screamed style, sophistication and cold-blooded calm. So, what was she doing here, at the middle-class stress capital of the world?
Im Nicola, yes.
Well, congratulations. Im now part of your department.
Sarcasm on the first day. Wonderful. Are you Jamila Engill or Sirena Kegan?
Frowning, the girl said, Jamila Engill.
Pretty name. She wondered what Jamila meant. No doubt Koldo would have known.
You have two new hires?
Yes. Nicola tugged the lapels of her sweater closer together to ward off the chill blasting from Jamilas attitude. Okay, fine. It was from the overhead vent. Please, have a seat and well get to know each other.
Jamila marched into the office and slammed onto the far chair. Chin high in the air, she twined her hands in her lap and kept her gaze narrowed on Nicola, her back ramrod straight.
They were gonna have fun together, she could tell.
Five days ago, her very jittery, very irritable boss told her that hed decided to hire two more accountants. Shock had nearly drilled Nicola to her knees. Shed been begging for a new hire for months, and every time she had been told to make do.
Currently, she was doing the work of five people. At first, she had managed. After Lailas hospitalization, shed begun to fall behind.
So...what will be expected of me? Jamila asked tightly.
Nicola explained a little about the operating system, and even though she hated sharing personal information with a stranger, she added, Ill be as much a help as possible as you learn, but the truth is, my sister is...dying even voicing the word was difficult and she... Well, Im being pulled away from the office more and more. Sooner or later, Jamila would have found out anyway. Phone calls would have come in, paperwork would have blasted through, or coworkers would have mentioned it.
This way, it was out in the open from the start.
Jamila leaned back in a pose that should have relaxed her. Instead, she appeared more rigid. Im sorry.
People always said that. Nicola wondered what Koldo the Honest would have said.
Just the thought of him caused her heart to flutter. She cleared her throat. Sometimes we have to confront employees who havent turned in their books. Theyll make excuses, but youll have to stay on them.
That wont be a problem.
No flinching, and no paling.
Good, then you should do fine. Unless you keep glaring at me like that.
Hey, yall. Im Sirena, and Im reporting for duty.
Nicolas attention shifted to the girl now standing in the doorway. She was taller than Nicola by an inch, maybe two, and wore an ill-fitting black jacket and matching pair of slacks, with a pink button-up top breaking up the darkness. Her hair was long and blond and as straight as a board. Her eyes were as wide as a dolls, a mix of brown and blue; a pair of horn-rimmed glasses perched on her nose.
Oh, my, she said, shutting the door behind her. She glided to the other chair and eased down, then extended a small gift basket. This is for you. I was just so excited to work with you, I couldnt help but show it.
How sweet. Thank you. Nicola accepted the offering with a smile. A jasmine body wash and a lotion scented with honeysuckle.
Look at this place. Sirena gazed around. Its not big, but its homey and wonderful, isnt it?
Homey? Wonderful? Not even close. The room boasted plain white walls and a concrete floor painted gray. The only furniture was the desk, Nicolas chair and the two chairs in front. Not one of the three had a cushion.
Her first few months in the office, Nicola had hung pictures of her family on the walls, but every time shed looked at them, memories had flooded her.
Shed heard her mother shout, What are you doing, laughing like that? Excitement of any kind isnt good for you. Do you want to die and send me spiraling into another depression?
Shed remembered her father patting her on the head and saying, Every night I go to sleep afraid Ill never again see my beloved girls.
Well, his fear had come true, but not for the reason hed thought. His life had been cut short by a drunk driver, and he hadnt seen them again.
Pictures of Laila only served to remind her of all she would soon lose. Her best friend, her confidante, her cheerleader. Her very heart.
Youll be able to decorate your cubby however you like, she said, fighting a quiver in her chin.
I cant wait! Sirenas happy tone chimed.
Jamila stiffened, as though offended.
A knock boomed from the door. The entrance swung open before she could bid the person on the other side to enter. Dexter Turner peeked his head inside. He had a full head of dark hair and brown eyes that were puppy-dog sweet.
Hey, Nicola, I was wondering His gaze landed on Jamila, widened, slid to Sirena, widened still more, before finally settling on Nicola. He gulped. I, uh, didnt know you had company.
I can leave if you want, Sirena said, eager to please.
Youre fine, Nicola told her, not wanting the women to vacate just yet. Dex had asked Nicola out several times, and shed always told him no. In high school, she and Laila had been forbidden to date for their own good. Then, after their parents had died and theyd been on their own, theyd both gone a little crazy, going out with anyone who asked.
Granted, only five guys had asked Nicola. But then, she was glad there hadnt been more. She had hated every minute of every date. The nervousness had been too much for her, especially since each of the boys had expected her to be more experienced than she was, considering her age. She had stuttered, and she had squirmed in the uncomfortable silences that followed.
After vomiting before the last one, and nearly passing out during dinner, she had decided not to date until her doctors discovered a way to regulate her heartbeat once and for all.
Not Laila, though. Laila had flourished under the attention. A few months ago, shed even made a go of a serious relationship. But the two had fought and fought and fought, and all that strife had put a strain on her body. Shed ended up in the hospital. Of course, when the doctors told her that she would never leave, the guy had walked away and never come back.
Ill just catch you later, Dex said, and shut the door.
Several beats of silence passed.
Is he yours? Jamila asked.
Nope, Nicola said. Im single.
Well, I think you two would make an adorable couple, Sirena said, her hand fluttering over her cheek as if she were flushing. Just adorable.
The phone rang, and Nicola picked up the receiver, grateful for the distraction. Nicola Lanes office.
Miss Lane? A strong male voice. Familiar.
Yes, she said, her heart suddenly pounding erratically.
This is Dr. Carter at County General.
Dread spiked, and she experienced a rush of dizziness. Whats happened?
Nothing good, Im afraid. Your sister has taken another turn for the worse. How soon can you get here?
* * *
WHAT DID I DO to deserve this? Koldo had spent the past six days with Thane. An eternity, surely. A punishment, definitely. They had traveled to the Downfall, Thanes place of business. A palace of iniquity, to be sure. One that would have been visible to the human eye if not for the cloud surrounding it. But it had to be this way. Only the Most High, Sent Ones, angels and demons operated in the spiritual realm. Other supernatural creatures, like the ones Thane entertained, would have been unable to visit otherwise.
The entire place was in the process of a very slooow descent toward the earth, moving a mere inch a day.
Falling.
As the members of the Army of Disgrace might at any sign of misconduct. Symbolism at its best, he thought. But then, wickedness of any kind caused a separation with the Most High.
The club would eventually end up in hell.
Wont think about that.
Other than successfully completing the three demon-killing missions Zacharel had assigned the entire army, Koldo and his companions hadnt left the club.
Thane and fellow angels Xerxes and Bjorn lived there, and Koldo wasnt certain how they were allowed to maintain their status as Sent Ones. But he now knew why they had been given to Zacharel. More than using a new woman every night, they fought whoever angered them with brutal intensityand nearly everyone they encountered angered them.
Now the four of them were in the bar, sitting in a shadowed corner. Different immortal races wandered about, drinking and dancing, their hands wandering. From the trouble-happy Harpies to the scream-happy Phoenix, and everything in between. Vampires, shape-shifters, the Fae and countless others.
The snake-shifters were considered the most dangerous, with the Phoenix a close second. But the race that topped them all? The race no one ever considered, because everyone liked to pretend they were nothing more than a nightmare? The Nefas.
Koldo was very glad no one knew about his father. Gladder still no one ever would. Even the Sent Ones who had rescued him from the camp all those centuries ago had no clue about his origins.
Having fun? Thane asked him.
Why am I here? he demanded.
The warrior tossed back a shot of vodka. Havent we gone over this? Because Zacharel commanded us to stick together, and I refuse to live in one of your hovels.
Koldos frustration level spiked. He was to have a permanent babysitter now? No. Absolutely not. He refused. Something would have to be done. What about our mission? The one you couldnt tell me about? The one you had to show me?
I never said there was a mission.
Must not kill a Sent One.
But if I had told you I wanted you to come to my place and enjoy yourself, Thane continued, you would have said...
No. Never.
And theres the reason I implied there was a mission.
Koldo banged his fist into the table, earning several whats-up-with-the-angry-beast glances from nearby patrons.
His gaze swung to Bjorn, who sat on Thanes right. Is he always this tricky?
Are you always this curious? was the irritating reply.
Bjorn had dark hair and tanned skin veined with the same gold that wove through his wings. His eyes were a rainbow of colors, from the lightest of blues to the darkest of greens, with shades of pink and purple thrown into the mix.
His name was Scandinavian for bear. Again, another perfect fit.
Jaw locked, Koldo looked to Xerxes.
Xerxes, Persian for monarch. The male had long white hair pulled back in a jeweled torque. His skin was the color of milk and lined with scar after crisscrossing scar, each in jagged patterns of three. Arresting, yes, but it was his eyes that truly held a persons attention. They were a bright ruby-red, and glowed with an endless rage matched by few.
Im one of the few.
Are they always this cryptic? Koldo asked him.
Are you always this annoying?
All three males chuckled at their own ridiculous wit.
Koldo refused to envy their friendship, or their complete ease with each other. Hed heard theyd met inside a demon fortress, each a prisonereach tortured. Hed had no one during his own years of anguish, and perhaps that was why he preferred his solitary life. The fewer people privy to his secrets, the less likely he was to face betrayal.
Ive introduced you to many beautiful females, hoping one of them would entertain youand free me of the burden of you, Thane said, tossing back another vodka. Youve refused them all. Why?
I have no interest.
Have you ever been with a woman? Bjorn asked.
No. Hed had no desire. He still didnt. Except...every day since hed come here, Zacharel had granted Koldo an hour-long break from Thane. Hed spent the first half of that hour with his mother, resisting the urge to hurt her, and the second half with Nicola, watching, hidden from view.
He would ensure no demons were following her. He would wonder what shed look like if she laughed with all of her heart, carefree, and his blood would heat in the strangest way. A tingling heat. Almost...electrifying. He would begin to step into the natural realm, catch himself and back off. What if his presence caused her heart undue stimulation? What if he hurt her? He had the hands of a killer, after all.
So, he would remain in the spirit realm. But the tension within him had gotten worse. The hum of anticipation had gotten stronger.
He had no idea what to do, what to think.
Even still, he was eager to speak with her, to at last discover what conclusion shed drawn about him. How was he to kick things off, though?
Your sister is going to die, but I can help you save yourself.
Im a Sent One. Heed my words.
Im a cold, hard man. Ive done terrible things. But have no fear, I wont harm you.
A virgin, Xerxes said with a tinge of...envy? Surely not. He motioned to a female. We must change that.
Smacking bubble gum, a blonde Harpy approached the table. She wore a sequined bra and spandex shorts, her hair braided at the sides in two perfect ropes. Whats up, guys?
We want you to give our friend a lap dance, the scarred warrior said. Then, to Koldo, I bet you cant resist that.
Her gaze slid to Koldo. She was a pretty little thing, with wide green eyes and freckles scattered across her nose. He wasnt into freckles. You want me to cozy up to this guy? she asked, hitching her thumb in his direction.
Yes, Xerxes replied, deadpan.
He looks like a cold-blooded killer.
In Koldos case, looks were not deceiving. You dont have to
So of course Ill give him a lap dance!
Wait. What? No, thank you. I dont want
Whoohoo, this is gonna be fun. She fist-pumped the air. Are you prepared to soar?
Were already in the skies, sweet, Thane said, clearly fighting a wave of amusement.
She rolled her eyes. Whatevs. He knew what I meant. Didnt you, Killer?
I would rather you not Koldo began, only to be cut off again.
Move the table, the girl said, rubbing her hands together. I want to get this party train out of the station the right way. And thats my way, in case anyone missed my meaning.
Koldo pinched the bridge of his nose as Bjorn and Xerxes stood to obey the Harpy. Before the warriors could get started, he stiffened.
Not because of their intentions, and not because of the Harpy. Deep inside, where instinct sizzled and crackled, he experienced a sudden knowing.
Nicola was in trouble.
I have to go. He jumped to his feet, accidentally sending the table toppling the floor.
Well, thats one way to do it, the girl muttered.
Zacharels orders stated that Koldo was to remain with Thane twenty-three hours a day. If he disobeyed, he risked punishment. Hed already used up his hour away today. And you get to come with me, he told the warrior, pointing at him to show there would be consequences if he was ignored.
Wait. Youre leaving right now? The Harpys pink, glittery lips fell into a seductive pout. But I havent even started yet, and Ive got some wicked-cool moves. Did I mention Im very bendy?
Thanes gaze narrowed on Koldo. Were not leaving. We do, and Ill never get you back here.
The warrior had just as much to lose as he did, Koldo realizedand that gave Koldo all the bargaining power he needed. Well return. You have my word. Until then, you had better follow. He informed Thane of where to go and flashed to the hospital, but...Nicola wasnt there. He flashed to her office. She wasnt there, either. He did, however, spot a Sent One, as well as a girl he didnt recognize but thought he should.
There was no time to question either female. He flashed to Nicolas house, but his redhead wasnt there, either. Her second job...nope. Back to the hospital, where he materialized at an empty nurses station and used the computer. A good decision. Laila had been moved to a new room.
Thane landed just in front of him. He tucked his wings at his sides as he looked around. What are we doing here?
Youre waiting for me to conclude my business, and Im in the process of concluding my business.
Without another word, he flashed to Lailas new room. And thats when he found Nicola, sobbing over her sisters body.
CHAPTER SIX
KOLDO ASSESSED THE SITUATION quickly. Lailas heart monitor was racing. There was a sharp odor in the airthe scent of impending death. There was a wheeze to her breathing, even with the machines doing all of the workthe sound of impending death. Though she wasnt dead, her spirit was already halfway out of her body, about to ascend or descend whatever path shed chosen for herself.
She wouldnt last much longer. Once the spirit was all the way out, the body couldnt survive.
Nicolas forehead rested on the bed, her delicate shoulders shaking as she cried with the intense force of her despair. Despair...a mix of both fear and tension, strengthening both of the toxins. Soon, every demon in the hospital would be hungry to feed off her.
Nicola, he said, stepping into the natural realm and becoming visible. His first word to her in all these many days. He shouldnt have waited until tragedy struck, he realized.
Her attention whipped up to him, and red, swollen eyes landed on his face. She gasped, Koldo, with a big dose of surprise. Her nose was stuffed, her voice no longer smoke and dreams but scratchy. Strands of hair clung to splotchy cheeks. What are you doing here? How did you find me?
How could he explain that hed felt her pain, when he wasnt sure how or why hed done so? Ignoring the question, he forced his gaze to move to Laila. Shes dying.
A pause. A trembling, Yes. I shouldnt be crying. I knew this was coming. Nicola covered her face with her hands, wiping away the tears, perhaps even trying to rub away the tension. She needs me to be calm. I need me to be calm.
So do I.
But...
You hurt, he said.
Yes. Sighing, she fell against the back of the chair. She released a breath, drew in another, and her nose wrinkled adorably. Last time you smelled wonderful. This time you smell like a brothel.
He wasnt embarrassed by the insult. Nothing had ever or would ever embarrass him. He was...overheated. Yes. Thats why his cheeks suddenly felt as though they were on fire. And how do you know what a brothel smells like?
Fine. You smell like what I assume a brothel smells like. Cigarettes and alcohol and conflicting perfumes.
My apologies. The first part of what shed said at last penetrated. Before, shed thought hed smelled wonderful.
His body tensed, just as before. But there was no urge to inflict pain...he wanted only to touch her, to offer comfort andhe wasnt sure.
The beeping from the monitor sped up.
Nicola traced her fingers over her sisters hand, then stopped, just stopped, as if the action were too much for her.
How much strength had she lost since his last visit?
No matter the amount, the answer was the same. Too much.
What are you, anyway? she asked almost absently.
You havent figured it out on your own?
No. How could I?
There are many ways.
Name one.
Easy. A sensitive spirit.
She expelled a weary breath. All I know is you arent human.
Correct.
So why dont you just tell me?
Would you believe me? If he admitted he was a Sent One, she would, perhaps, have no idea what that was. If he used the word angel, she might have certain expectations he would be unable to meet. We can discuss it later. Right now, why dont I help your sister?
Immediately he wished he could snatch the words back, but did he? No. Hed said them. He would deal with the fallout.
Eyes as wild and turbulent as a winter storm widened. How?
I...can buy her a little time. Shell strengthen and shell awaken, but I dont think shell live more than a few weeks, he rushed to add. She had to be swimming with toxins. Not only that, she would still have no internal or external barriers against the demons. Barriers she would have to learn how to erect. Barriers she might not have time to learn how to erect.
A few weeks, Nicola parroted.
Not long, I know, but
Ill take it! she shouted, as though she feared he would change his mind.
So eager for so little. But you havent yet heard my terms.
Her beautiful mouth edged into a frown. You want something from me?
Many things. Ill buy your sister a few weeks, and in exchange youll do what I tell you, when I tell you, until the day I release you from my charge. He had no idea how long it would take him to rid her of the toxins and teach her enough to survive on her own.
That sounds like something Ive heard on the late-night news. Are you expecting me to become your sex slave? Her tone wasnt scandalized, but curious.
No, he replied with a frown of his own. I dont want you in that way. He didnt, did he? He hadnt lied to Thane and the others. He was a virgin. Desire wasnt something he was familiar with, and he wasnt sure he would recognize it.
He knew he admired Nicolas loyalty to her sister. He knew he wished he had someone who loved him half as much. But seeing her naked was...intriguing, he realized, the blood heating in his veins, becoming molten, scorching him. A heat that had nothing to do with rage. It bubbled up, washing away the cold man he knew himself to be.
Perhaps he did want her in that way.
The very idea nearly sent him stumbling backward. His mind reeled. But...but...but she was so dainty, so fragile. He dwarfed her. Could crush her. Why her? Why now? Desire for her was implausible. Impractical.
No, he croaked. He couldnt.
Oh, she said, her shoulders slumping. So, you want me to obey you when you tell me to...what?
Stay calm. Embrace peace. Sow joy.
Sow?
There is an irrefutable spiritual law that states a person reaps what they sow. Therefore, if you sow joy into others, you will reap joy for yourself. Right now, you need joy.
Calm, peace, joy, she echoed hollowly. As if he were insane.
Maybe he was. Yes.
Why do you want me to feel those things?
If you dont, the toxins will build up, and eventually youll die, just like your sister. They werent exactly calming, peaceful, joyous words, so he remained quiet.
Wouldnt you rather have me, I dont know, grow a beard, get taller and play the part of Koldo in a little production called What Youre Asking Is Impossible? Because that I think I can do.
Silly human. For the first time in his life, he wanted to smile. No.
Desperate, she said, How about the number of the coffee shop girl? I could give you that, and we could call it even.
Coffee shop girl? Remember when I told you I could help you heal?
As if I could ever forget.
This is the way.
A moment passed. A moment she spent blinking at him. Calm, peace, joy, she repeated. Tell me my sister will live longer than a few weeks, and its done.
As if he was in control of how long her sister survived. But she didnt know that, and she was trying to buy more time. Im sorry I wasnt clear. I gave you my top offer. Theres nothing more I can do on your sisters behalf. Therefore, there will be no negotiating of my terms.