Bree reached out and squeezed my arm. Well talk at lunch, okay? I want to hear all the details.
Sure, I said. I watched, puzzled, as she turned and trotted after Robbie. It struck me as odd that Bree wanted to go with Robbie instead of hanging out with the rest of us. It wasnt really Brees style to seek out extra study time.
So Morgan, did you study for the test? Jenna asked, slipping into Robbies seat.
My stomach dropped. Test? I asked.
Jenna bit her lip. Youve got Powell, right? she asked. I thought he was giving all of his sections a test on the Civil War today.
It came back to me with sudden vividness and I groaned. I thought that was next Thursday, I said. I was totally screwed.
Jenna touched my arm. What period do you have history?she asked.
Fifth.
Greatthats not until after lunch, she said reassuringly. Ill give you my notes on the reading and you can study them then, along with your class notes. She dug in her backpack and pulled out the notes. Here, she said, handing them over. Dont worry, its going to be fine.
I really had no choice but to try to believe her. Thanks, I said as the first bell rang. I had the feeling it was going to be a very long day.
By the time I slid into my 1971 Plymouth Valiantaffectionately nicknamed Das Bootmy arms were practically shaking with exhaustion. Id hidden Jennas notes behind my textbook in every class. Unfortunately, the cramming hadnt helped. Id wanted to tell Mr. Powell not to bother grading my exam. I knew Id flunked.
I turned the key in the ignition and smiled as it turned over immediately. Old reliable. Mary K. was at cheerleading practice and had told me shed catch a ride with one of her friends. It was the only thing shed said to me all day.
Suddenly I didnt want to go home. I could picture myself all alone in the quiet house. My parents wouldnt be home for hours, and I had no one to talk to about my horrible day. Not that I wanted to tell my parents about flunking a test.
I started for Hunters house. Please be home, I thought, remembering the sense of calm Id felt with him the night before.
Hunter was standing in the front doorway as I pulled into his driveway, gravel crunching beneath my tires.
Rough day? he asked, leaning in to kiss me as I climbed the front steps.
Horrendous. I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips tasted like cinnamon tea.
He smiled. Why dont you come in and tell me about it? The warm scent of cinnamon wafted past my nose as we stepped into the worn, comfortable living room. I knew without casting out my senses that Sky, Hunters cousin, was upstairs.
Should I say hello? I asked.
Hunter hesitated. I think shell come down if she feels like it. Shes been pretty low lately.
I nodded. Sky and Raven had been a couple for a while, but theyd recently broken upthanks mostly to my half brother Killian. I wasnt sure how Raven feltit was hard to break through her tough-girl exteriorbut I knew Sky was in a lot of pain. I felt a pang of sympathy as I imagined Sky going through a breakup halfway around the world from most of her friends.
I shrugged off my coat. Hunter took it and hung it up next to his in the hall closet. Then he came and pulled me down beside him on the threadbare couch.
I spoke with Eoife again this morning, he said. Shes concerned about you. She would like for you to learn more about magickal defenses, and so would I.
Whats that? I asked. Like, self-defense for witches or something?
Hunter nodded without humor. Thats exactly what it is. His green eyes seemed to deepen in color as he added, Given your history, Morgan, it seems like a good thing for you to study. Also, its one of the topics covered in the preinitiation rites.
I thought I would be initiated as a witch a year and a day from the time of my first circle. I didnt realize I had to prepare for it.
You dont, Hunter said. Thats a simple ceremony. Im talking about your initiation as a blood witch, which isnt so simple. Once youre initiated into the coven, then you begin preparing for your preapprentice rites, which are a series of magickal power and knowledge tests. Theyre supposed to screen out blood witches who arent yet serious enough or in tune with their power enough for apprenticeships. I stifled a groan at the thought of more tests as Hunter went on, Once you pass those rites, youll be paired as an apprentice with a blood witch who will guide you until youre ready for the full blood witch initiation.
How long will that take?
Hunter shrugged. It depends, he said. A few years.
I struggled to hide my disappointment. A few years?
Anyway, Hunter said. Eoife has found someone who can come here to tutor you in magickal defenses for two weeks. Shes going to stay with Sky and me. Her name is Erin Murphy, and shell be here this weekend.
Is she good? I asked.
The best, he said. In his clipped English accent, the statement seemed to leave no room for doubt. In the meantime Eoife asked me to show you the basics. He stood up and crossed the room. There was a dinged-up sideboard along the wall leading to the kitchen, and Hunter pulled out a small bronze dish and a piece of chalk. He drew a small circle on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. I stepped inside, and he drew the last piece closed. Then he took a pinch of salt from the dish and sprinkled it around the circle. With this salt I purify our circle, he said.
We joined hands, closed our eyes, and breathed deeply for a few moments. With every breath I could feel my senses expanding. It was as if I was growing and reaching out, as if the house and everything in it was a living, breathing extension of myself. I felt myself draw power from the breath, and I sensed that Hunter was drawing the same power. Our bodies, joined at the fingertips, had become one, lost in the connection we felt with everything around us, including each other. Then we both dropped hands and found ourselves staring into each others eyes.
It was as if a window opened, and I could see the true depths of Hunters emotionshis fierce sense of protection, his trustworthiness, his love for me, and his appreciation for our connection. I also saw harsh and unyielding anger, and I knew that what I was seeing was the rage Hunter felt at what the dark forces had done to his family. Hunters parents, pursued by the dark wave, had left him at a young age. I saw that Hunter believed they were still alive and that he could help them. I also saw his frustration at not being able to do more, his stubborn belief that if only he tried hard enough, he could put everything right. I saw these things, and I sucked in my breath.
Suddenly the window closed, and he was simply Hunter again.
The first lesson is in something called tàth meànma divagnth, he explained.
Is that like tàth meànma brach? I asked, recalling the ceremony that I still thought of as the Wiccan mind meld. Tàth meànma was a ritual through which two people could look into each others minds and share thoughts, memories, beliefs. Tàth meànma brach was a sort of turbocharged version of regular tàth meànma, in which you exchanged basically everything that was in your brains. Alyce Fernbrake, a blood witch who ran an occult bookstore called Practical Magick, had gone through the ceremony with me.
Not exactly, Hunter said. The object of the divagnth is to use someones power and divert it so that it cant hurt you.
So its sort of like witch tae kwon do?
Hunter smiled. Then he grabbed my wrist lightly with his right hand and pointed to the wall with his left. I felt a quick rush through my body, as if I had touched an electric current. A sizzling bolt of blue fire exploded from Hunters left index finger. It hit the wall and dissolved harmlessly.
I felt dizzy and struggled to suck oxygen into my lungs. Are you all right? Hunter asked, placing his hands on my hips.
I took a few deep breaths. Yeah, but it kind of knocks the wind out of you.
Hunter nodded. It can be very effective when youre dealing with an enemy. His voice was grim, and as I felt his strong hands on my hips, I realized yet again that Hunter had years of training and knowledge that I could hardly even begin to imagine.
I looked him in the eye. Teach me, I said.
Hunter spent the better part of an hour showing me different techniques for deflecting power. Although he claimed that these were pretty basic self-defense moves, all of them were completely unknown to me. It was fascinating to realize thateven with all of Alyces knowledge, which was considerablethere were entire worlds left to learn.
Excellent work, Hunter said as I used one of his blocks.
Now that the energy wasnt flying around the room, I felt the exhaustion of the day settle on me like a heavy blanket. Hunter touched my hair. Should I take you home? he asked.
No, I said quickly. I definitely didnt want to go home now. Maybe. . maybe we could go to a movie? I suggested.
Sky came down the stairs. She was naturally fair but looked even paler than usual. Hello, Sky, I said.
Oh, hello, Morgan, Sky said, looking surprised. I didnt realize you were here. That struck me as odd. Sky was a powerful blood witch. She should have sensed my presence. But as I looked at her drawn face, it was pretty clear that she was off in her own world. Am I interrupting? she asked, glancing from my face to Hunters.
Im just trying to talk Hunter into going to a movie, I said. Theres aa great new foreign film playing at the Pavilion, I said. Actually, what was playing there was an action adventure Id been dying to see that I knew Hunter would never go for. But it was made in Hong Kongthat made it foreign, right? Its still early, I went on, glancing at the clock on the mantel. It was only six-fifteen. We can grab a slice of pizza before the movie, and I can still be home by ten. I put on my best overeager face and batted my eyelashes.
Hunter laughed and gave in. All right, he said, holding up his hands.
Great! I rushed to the kitchen to use his phone while Sky wandered back upstairs. I punched in the number for my house and listened as it rang a few times and the machine picked up. I left a message explaining that I was going to a movie with Hunter. Considering the way my parents had reacted to him last night, I figured theyd be okay with me spending some quality time with him. At least, until I got my history grade.
Hunter and I grabbed a quick slice at Pinos Pizza, then drove over to the theater. When we walked up to the ticket window, Hunter said, Two for Fire Dragons, please. I gaped at him as he pulled out his wallet. He noticed the look on my face, and the corners of his mouth twitched up into a smile. What? he said. You didnt actually think you had me fooled with that line about going to see a foreign film, did you?
I laughed and shook my head. The more I felt I knew Hunter, the more capable he was of surprising me.
The wind was blowing my hair around my face, and I pushed it back with both hands as we walked inside. The Pavilion used to be a real theater, the kind where you see plays and stuff, and the interior is decorated with images from Greek myths. I always liked to sit in the front of the balcony because the view is great and hardly anyone likes to sit there but me.
We made a quick stop at the concession stand for a medium popcorn and a Diet Coke for me. When I turned around, I came face-to-face with Bree and Robbie.
Hey, guys, Robbie said. He pulled a few kernels from the top of my bag of popcorn and stuffed them in his mouth.
Watch it, I joked. Do you know how much that popcorn costs?
Ill pay you back, Robbie promised, and placed his order for a large popcorn and two sodas.
And a box of Raisinets, Bree added. I smiled at her.
The blond girl gathered their order and lined everything up on the counter. As she was ringing their total, she said shyly, Robbie?
Robbie gave her a blank look. Yes?
The girl blushed. Im Jessica Watts. . from Mrs. Carlesons class? Fifth grade? You sat next to me.
Jessica Watts? Robbie repeated. He sounded shocked.
I felt my own mouth drop open. Jessica Watts? I thought. As in Mega Watts? Bree and I had been in Mrs. Nortons class in the fifth grade, while Robbie was across the hall with Mrs. Carleson. The classes didnt really mix much, but Jessica Watts had been famous at our school. At the age of ten she had already weighed over 150 pounds. She got teased a lot and bullied because of her weight. Now it looked like she had lost thirty poundsand grown four inches. She looked great.
Wow, Jessica, Robbie said, you look terrific! I dont know if you remember Bree and Morgan, he went on, waving a hand at us. They went to Widows Vale Elementary, too. And this is Hunter Niall, he added.
Hey, I said.
Hi, Bree said, checking her watch. Robbie, the movies going to start in five minutes.
Robbie looked at her. For a minute I expected him to protest, but instead he just said, Yeah, okay. Wed better find a seat. Great to see you, Jessica.
Jessica grinned. See you around.
As we stepped away from the counter, Robbie was still shaking his head. God, I cant believe how great Jessica looks, he said.
Bree snorted impatiently. She went on a dietbig deal.
Bree! I tossed a kernel of popcorn at her. She batted it away with annoyance.
Robbie gave Bree a look. Im not just talking about the weight, he insisted. Back in fifth grade, Jessica always looked like a dog who was expecting to get kicked. She looks so much more confident now. .His voice trailed off, but I knew what he meant, and he was right.
Bree didnt answer, and I wondered why. She usually had an opinion to voice. I glanced at her sideways and noticed her fiddling with one strand of her dark, perfectly tousled hair. I had known Bree a long time, since we were little kids, and I knew what that gesture meant. She was worried.
But what about? I wondered. It wasnt like Bree to get jealous or possessive. In fact, Bree had a history of never letting any guy get too close. She had left a string of love casualties in her wake. I decided to ask her later what was up. Bree didnt have the worlds greatest family life. I wondered whether everything was okay with her.
Are you two heading up to the balcony? Bree asked as we neared the foot of the stairs.
Yup. Want to come? I teased, knowing what the answer would be. Wed been having the same debate since the seventh grade.
Forget it, Bree replied. You know how I feel about that rickety old railing.
See you guys later, then, Robbie said.
Bree and Robbie walked through the main entrance while Hunter and I headed up the side stairs. I smiled as we walked down the aisle to my favorite seats in the front of the balcony. Looking down on the theater below, I saw that there were quite a few heads in the main part. But the balcony was completely empty. We settled into our seats just as the opening credits began to roll. Hunter put his arm along the back of my seat and I leaned against him, feeling like a corny couple out of the fifties.
Whats this movie about, anyway? Hunter whispered as the title flashed across the screen in letters of flame.
A bunch of guys kicking butt, I replied.
Ah. Lovely. Hunter settled back against his chair.
About twenty minutes into the movie, I began to notice that he seemed uncomfortable. He shifted left, then right, then took his arm away from the back of my seat and gripped the armrest.
Are you okay? I whispered. Hunter didnt answer. I turned to look at him and gasped. His face, reflected in the strange shadows of the flickering movie screen, was dead white, and his mouth was opening and closing as if he was trying to speak but couldnt form the words. My heart pounded as Hunter squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in his breath. I grabbed his arm and was nearly crushed by the weight of some unseen force. Wave after wave of emotions flooded over medespair, agony, longing, regret, fear. Deep fear. The sensations were so strong that I thought they would overwhelm me as they ripped through my body.
Then suddenly the flood of feelings stopped. Hunter sank down listlessly in his seat. It was over.
I flopped back against my chair, exhausted, and listened to the sound of Hunters breathingor was it my own? We were both inhaling in ragged gasps.
What happened? I whispered.
Hunter was pale, and his chest was still heaving. It was my father, he said softly.
Cold fingers of dread crept up my spine. Are you sure? I asked in a hushed voice. Hunters father and mother had disappeared when Hunter was a child. In an effort to save themselves and their family, theyd placed their children with relatives and gone into hiding, running from the dark wave. Hunter hadnt heard from them in years. . until recently, when hed received a scrying message that he felt certain was from his father. The meaning of the message was still unclear, but Hunter had sent a spelled seedpod down the Hudson River in the hope that he might make contact. But until now there had been no word, and I knew that Hunter feared the worst.
Im positive, he replied.
Butwhat does it mean? I asked.
Hunter sat forward, leaning his elbows against his knees. He stayed there a moment, hunched over in that position, as though completely drained. Finally he faced me. I dont know what it means, he said, but Im going to find out.
I exhaled a long breath, trying to release the last of the fear and tension. I looked up at the movie screen. Its flickering images suddenly seemed like nonsense. Lets get out of here, I whispered.
Hunter was already out of his seat by the time I finished my sentence.
I spent the drive back thinking about Hunters message, wondering what it could mean. A glance over at Hunter showed me that his jaw was clenched and he was concentrating on the road. I watched the dark, hulking forms of trees flicker past the car windows, and I thought about what it must be like to know that your parents are out there somewhere. To know that they may need your help. And to be unable to give it.
Soon Hunters battered Honda was gliding to a stop in front of his house. He shifted into neutral and stared straight ahead for a moment. Then wordlessly he swung open his car door and stepped out into the frigid night. I did the same, following him toward Das Boot. I would drive home from here.
Hunter was staring out into the darkness. I didnt feel ready to say good night. Hunter, I began, but my voice trailed off. I didnt know what to say. I leaned in close and wrapped my arms around him, wishing I could just hold him and make it better.
Im going to find them, Hunter said simply. For a moment the words seemed to hang there, coiling around us in the quiet night air. Then he pulled away and turned to me, his green eyes glinting in the dimness with a strange, almost predatory look.
How? I asked.
Im not sure, Hunter said. The council was supposed to pursue a few leads, but they havent had any new information in a long time. They told me not to act, but I think Ive waited long enough. The time has come to step in myself.
But you have no idea where they are! I protested.
Hunter shrugged. Not yet, he said. Then his gaze seemed to soften, and he looked into my eyes. He leaned over, and his lips met mine. His kiss was gentle but insistent, and I felt my heart race at his touch. His fingers felt beneath my jacket and traced along my back. I shivered and pulled away from him.
Hunter, I said, I know I sound like a goofy movie girlfriend, but will you please just promise that youll be careful?
He hesitated before finally shaking his head. Ill be as careful as I can.
I thought about the dark wave, about what it might take to rescue Hunters parents. He was right careful wasnt a word that would go very far in helping them. All right, I said finally, fighting the wave of fear that I felt. It would have to be good enough. Ill be thinking about you tonight. I gave him one final kiss, then swung open my car door and slid onto the seat.
Good night, Morgan. Hunter turned, and his form retreated up the walk to his front door. I watched him until he went inside. Then I drove home, alone with my thoughts. I wished I understood what had happened. Memories of the violent emotions Id felt swirled through my mind until I reached my house.
The hallway was silent when I went inside. I shrugged off my coat and hung it on a peg, then pulled off my boots so that I wouldnt track mud all over the house.
Hi, Mom, I said, walking into the brightly lit kitchen. She was hunched over a pile of paperwork at the kitchen table. I pulled a glass out of the cabinet.
Getting in a little late, arent you? my mom remarked.
I stopped, confused. Wed left the movie early. Didnt you get my message? I asked. I was at the Pavilion with Hunter.
I got your message, my mom replied. But Morgan, you know its a school night. Have you finished your homework?
I hesitated but couldnt lie. No, I admitted.
My mother heaved an exasperated sigh. Well, I dont think I need to explain what my problem with that is, she said. Her frown etched deep lines around her mouth, making her look older and tired. Or do I? I dont know, Morgan, lately I feel like your priorities have shifted.
Thats not true, I protested.
Isnt it? my mother asked. She looked even more weary, and there was a catch in her voice as she added, You never join us at church anymore. I feel like we hardly see youlike youre just disappearing from this family.
I suddenly realized why my mother had been so eager to get to know Hunter. It wasnt just because she wanted to make sure that he was a decent personit was because she felt like I was slipping away, and she wanted to bring me back. Mom, Im sorry, I said, feeling a wave of guilt. I guess I shouldnt have stayed out late on a school night. I just thought that you and Dad liked Hunter so much, you wouldnt mind. And I dont have a lot of homework tonight. I can still finish.
Morgan, I dont want to force you to do things you dont want to do. My mom pushed away her paperwork and looked at me. And I do like Hunter. But I miss you. We all do. Id like to find a way to make sure that we can spend some time together.
I thought for a moment. Maybe we could have a regular night to get together, I suggested. A family night or something.
My mom pursed her lips a moment and folded her arms across her chest, her thinking pose. Well, maybe we could do something like that once a week.
I nodded, thinking that maybe, if we spent more time together, my parents might realize that it was possible for me to have both them and Wicca in my life.
Okay, my mom said finally. Ill check with Dad and Mary K., and well set up a regular night. She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. Ill think of something fun we can do together.
I grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table. Sounds good. Im going upstairs to do my problem set. Sorry I was so late, I said. Eyeing her paperwork, I added, And dont work too hard.
Mmm. My mom bent over her papers again.
Biting into the apple, I went upstairs and crawled onto my bed with my calculus book. But the minute I got settled on my down comforter, the wave of exhaustion Id been holding back all day washed over me with full force. I closed my eyes, intending to rest them for just a minute. I didnt wake up until morning.
3. Attack
Okay, time for another entry in my Book of Shadows. I feel kind of silly calling this wire-bound notebook by such an imposing-sounding name. Book of Shadows is supposed to be for spells and chants and stuff like that-an I dont really know any. Still, both Hunter and Sky think we should keep one, and everyone else in Kithic seems to do it. So I got one. Which means that I have a special place to share my wonderful news.
Dad is marrying Hilary. Shes pregnant. And moving in with us in a few weeks.
I tried really hard to act happy for Dad, but he didnt ask me how I felt about it. So I guess he didnt really want to know.
As I write this, my mothers picture is looking at me from the dresser across the room. I wonder what she would think of all this. I honestly have no idea-I barely knew her. She died when I was three. I like to think that shed be glad my father is happy with someone new. I like to think that she was a nicer person that I am.
Hilary is coming over later. Im glad I wont be around, Im going to circle. I have to admit that when Bree first asked if I wanted to join Kithic, I wasnt so sure that it was a good idea. But at the very first circle we held hands and Sky taught us how to feel the each others energy. It was truly magical, the kind of experience you cant put into words. I felt myself opening up like a flower. Thats the best thing about the coven. In a weird way-I dont really understand it myself-its almost like coming home.
Bree just called to tell me shes going to be about ten minutes late to pick me up. Shes giving Morgan a ride, too. I know its dumb, but Morgan makes me uncomfortable. She has magical powers. Of course, everyone else in the coven thinks its incredibly cool. One time she made flowers appear out of thin air. I had to look around at everyone else and tell myself, Its all right. Nobody else is scared. Then I focused on my breathing to calm myself.
I know that magick is a part of Wicca, and the smaller spells-using herbs and oils to heal, channelling your energy toward something you want to achieve, but Morgans magick is different. It feels dangerous, out of control. And even her own sister is afraid of it.
But that doesnt mean that I shouldnt drive to circle with Morgan or even that she isnt a nice person. Right?
Alisa
You look gorgeous, I told Bree as I ducked into her BMW, Breezy, on Saturday evening. She wore a soft-looking gray coat over black wool pants and managed to look sleek, sophisticated, and sexy all at once.
Thanks, Bree said without enthusiasm.
So, I said, will Robbie be at the circle? I actually already knew the answer to thisRobbie and I had chatted for about one second that afternoon before Mrs. Fiorello, my moms coworker, had beeped in on the other line and Id had to hand the phone over to my mom. But I was looking for an opening. In fact, Id asked Bree for a ride especially so I could talk to her.
Yeah, hell be there. There was an odd note in her voice. My opening.
Is everything okay with you guys? I asked as nonchalantly as I could.
What do you mean? Brees voice was taut, like a piano wire.
I dont know, you just seem to be. . not yourself lately. I gripped the door handle, preparing for an attack. Bree could be prickly about personal comments.
She sighed. Yeah, she said, and her voice trailed off into the darkness. The road hummed beneath us, and for a moment I thought that she wasnt going to say anything else. Ive been feelingI dont know. Bree shook her head, as if frustrated that the thoughts wouldnt form a cohesive sentence for her. I guess Ive been feeling kind of possessive. She laughed. Pretty weird, huh?
For you? Um, yeah, I agreed. You usually run for the hills when someone acts possessive with you.
Tell me about it. Bree scowled. I just cant seem to stop myself. Its justIve never felt this way about a guy before.
But thats great, I said. It means you care.
Maybe. Bree sounded doubtful. Ive never really let myself get this close to someone before. I guess this is why. Running an impatient hand through her dark hair, she added, I really hate the way Im feeling right now, Morgan. I hate the way Im acting. I dont want to be clingy and needybut I just dont want to let Robbie out of my sight. I guess Im just worried that hes going to get bored with me or something. That now that I actually care about someone, hes going to move on.
I reached over and grabbed Brees hand. Even through our gloves, I could feel her hand radiating heat. Thats not going to happen, I assured her. Robbie is nuts about you. Hes been nuts about you for a long timeand thats not going to change. I pictured Robbie in my mind, remembering how hed confessed to me his feelings for Bree. Besides, hed never want to hurt you.
Bree squeezed my hand. There was a catch in her voice as she said, I know.
I leaned my head against the cool passengers-side window. I wanted to say more, but we were almost at Alisas house, and I didnt want to discuss this in front of her. My breath made a steamy crescent on the side of the window, and I remembered the two of us in elementary school, breathing on the cold glass of the school bus window and writing our names in the steam. That was before Brees mom moved away to live with her boyfriend in Europe. It was before her older brother, Ty, went off to college and before Brees corporate-lawyer father began working so hard that she hardly ever saw him anymore. Bree was so beautiful and poised, it was easy to forget that her life was sort of lonely. Until now, shed always kept the guys she dated at a safe distance. But Robbie was differenttheyd been friends before they started going out, and he knew her too well to be satisfied with staying at arms length. He was chipping away at the wall that surrounded her. I wondered whether it would open her up to caring about people in a new way or whether it might make her crumble.