I briefly considered talking to Robbie about what was going on with Bree but rejected the thought. It was their relationship, after all. Instead I asked her, Have you spoken to Robbie about this?
No, she admitted.
Maybe you should.
Bree bit her lip and didnt reply. She made a left turn. The silence yawned between us as we pulled up into the circular driveway in front of a small, tidy ranch-style house. Alisa must have been watching for us because a moment later she hurried out the front door.
Bree turned to me. Okay, Ill talk to him, she said quickly.
Good, I thought. Id done my good deed for the day.
Alisa said a shy hello, and Bree eased the car back onto the road toward Hunters house. The car was silent for the rest of the drive. I guess we were all lost in our own thoughts.
Hunters small living room was already filling up by the time we arrived. The room was lit by the warm glow of candles, and in the soft light the worn furniture seemed comfortable and welcoming. The air was heavy with the scent of mulling spicesSky must have put a pot of cider on the stove. Robbie stood in the corner, talking to Simon Bakehouse, but the minute we walked in, he flashed Bree an enormous grin and hurried over. I gave Bree an I-told-you-so look, and she smiled as Robbie draped an arm around her shoulders. They melted into the rear of the room.
From his place by the tattered armchair, Hunter waved to me and continued an intense-looking conversation with Sky. Jenna came over and said hello to me, and she and I chatted for a few minutes. Are you feeling all right? I asked.
My asthmas bothering me, she admitted. I took a shot off my inhaler before I came here, but it hasnt helped much.
I resisted the urge to lay my hands on her back. Id helped her with her asthma before. But I knew that Hunter and Sky frowned on such practices, and I was trying to show them that Id turned over a new leaf.
Not everyone had arrived yet, so I headed to the kitchen to help myself to cider. When I pushed open the door, I was surprised to see Alisa sitting alone at the small table, staring off into space. I hesitated a moment, reluctant to barge in on her. But I decided it would look weird to scurry away, so I just plowed ahead.
Hey, I said, crossing to the stove. Someone had put out some plastic foam cups on the countertop so people could help themselves to the cider. This smells greatdo you want some?
Hmm? Alisa jumped slightly. Ohno. Thanks. She tried to smile at me, but she looked tired. . and something else. Sad, maybe.
I pulled out a chair and sat next to her. I took a slow sip of cider and felt its warmth spread through me, chasing away the February chill. I wondered why Alisa was in here alone. Is everything okay? I asked finally. I felt awkward. I really didnt know Alisa that well. Normally I didnt like to pry into peoples lives, but there was something about Alisa that made me feel oddly protective, almost like she was a vulnerable younger sister or something.
Surprise flickered over her face. For a moment it seemed like she wanted to tell me what was on her mind. Almost instantly, though, she seemed to think better of it, and her face closed. Ive just had some weird news, thats all, she said. She looked down at the table.
Before I could decide whether to press her for details, the kitchen door swung open to reveal Sky. Her pale skin and fair hair seemed to glow against the midnight blue linen shirt she was wearing. Morgan, Alisa, she said, were getting ready to start.
Stepping into the living room, I saw that Hunter had already drawn a circle on the floor. Alisa and I stepped into it behind Sky. I tried to move toward Hunter but found myself almost directly across the circle from him. Once everyone had settled down, I was surprised to see someone new next to Sky. She looked young and was about five feet tall, with dark red hair and green eyes. Her slim figure made her seem coltish, as if she were about to go through a growth spurt. I wondered who she was.
Everyone, before we begin, Id like to introduce our guest, Sky said. This is Erin Murphy.
Erin Murphy. I knew that name. Erin Murphy was the witch who was coming to teach me magickal defenses. But this couldnt be her! I studied Erins face more closely and saw faint creases around her mouth and eyes. Maybe shes older than she looks, I thought. Automatically I reached out with my senses and felt her power. She was strong. Really strong.
Erin had been looking at Sky, but her eyes suddenly flicked to me. The steady gaze felt like a hand against my forehead, but after a moment the pressure stopped, and she smiled. I resisted the urge to rub my temples.
Erin is a healer from Scotland, Sky went on. She didnt say anything to the rest of the coven about the fact that Erin was a magickal defense expert.
Jenna looked hopeful, and I knew that she was thinking about her asthma. From her place next to me, Alisa shuffled uneasily. A healer? she repeated.
You think Im not old enough to know what Im doing? Im forty-seven, Erin said abruptly, turning her sharp eyes on Alisa. I guess she was used to peoples confusion about her age. Then her face took on a curious expression as she still looked at Alisa.
Alisa blushed to the roots of her hair. She blinked uncomfortably and brought her hand to her forehead. I didnt mean
Its quite all right, Erin cut her off in a musical brogue. If you can believe it, the flight attendant on my flight over asked me if my ma would be meetin me at the gate. Laughter rippled through the circle, and I felt everyone relax. Erin studied Alisa a moment longer, then smiled. I glanced across the circle at Hunter, and he grinned at me.
You dont sound Scottish, Matt Adler said.
Im an immigrant, Erin said, and something about her tone made everyone chuckle again. Im Irish, living in Scotland. On vacation in America. She looked around the circle, and her eyes landed on me. Any other questions? she asked. Her tone was playful but seemed to hold a challenge as well. I had a million questions, but I felt too shy to ask them. I could practically feel the power rolling off this woman.
After a moment Sky took out some salt and began to purify the circle. Raven had managed to maneuver herself so that she was between Sky and Matt, whom shed fooled around with a few times back in the fall. I wondered how Sky would react.
Sky began placing incense for air, sand for earth, a candle for fire, and a small cup of water at various points on the circle. I could see that the line of her jaw was rigid, although she was making an effort to seem unaffected by Ravens presence. It was actually kind of strange to see the two of them next to each other. Raven had clearly taken more care than usual with her appearance tonightshe was wearing a red velvet peasant blouse that laced up the front and black leather pants. Her dyed black hair cascaded down her back. She looked like a biker-chick version of Lady Guinevere. She was dark and lush, fire to Skys ice.
Sky set down the last bowl and returned to her place in the circle. Hunter looked up at me. Theres a full moon tonightvery auspicious, he said. Lets join hands and walk deasil. I was standing between Alisa and Robbie, and I was glad for Robbies familiar presence as we all began to move clockwise around the room. As the group moved together, I could feel the energy build around me. I remembered the way it used to press in on me when Id first begun coming to circles, and I was glad that I was now more in control of the magick that surrounded me. Now the power seemed wonderful and exhilarating, without the edge of fear that it used to hold.
In Wicca we arent afraid to ask the Goddess for what we need, Sky said. When you feel it, make a wish. During a full moon it may very well be granted.
Next to me Robbie was the first to speak. I wish for endurance.
On the other side of him Bree said, I wish for peace.
Ethan went next. I wish for strength, he said. He cast a quick look at Sharon, who was standing next to him.
Sharon met his look. I wish for understanding.
We went around the circle, and everyone said what they wished for. It was kind of interesting. Everyone wished for intangible things.
Finally it was Alisas turn. I wish things could stay the way they are, she said quietly. There was a sadness in her voice that tugged at my heart.
I glanced across the circle at Hunter, and my mind flashed back to the kiss wed shared a few nights ago. That was a moment Id wanted to preserve perfectly, like a leaf in amber. But things changethats their nature. I felt a wave of sympathy for Alisa, for her doomed wish. I squeezed her hand.
Hunter gave me a nod, and I knew it was my turn. I racked my brain for something to say, and I suddenly remembered the first circle Id ever been to. Everyone had named something they wanted to banish. Id said I wanted to banish limitations. In the weeks that followed, my life had opened up. Id found Wicca, Id discovered the truth about my heritage, and my power had started to reveal itself. But now, finally, my world seemed to be settling down, and I was growing comfortable with who I was.
I wish to learn my limits, I said. I felt Alisa turn toward me, but when I faced her, she had already turned away. I wondered at my own choice of words. In order to learn my limits, I would have to test them. How much further would I have to go?
We continued walking deasil for a moment, then we all stopped and threw our hands up. That was good, Sky said. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and I knew that she was feeling the same energy I was. Lets take it down. We all sat on the floor.
I feel a little dizzy, Alisa whispered as she crossed her legs.
I nodded. We had been moving in the circle for quite a while, building up a lot of energy. I was glad to be sitting, too.
Sky reached out and picked up the cream-colored pillar candle that represented fire. With a gentle breath she extinguished the flame and set the candle in the center of the circle. Smoke curled toward the ceiling as Sky said, Morgan, please light this.
I frowned. I could only assume that Sky was hoping to demonstrate my magick to Erin, but reluctance swelled in my chest. Most of my friends in the coven had no idea that I could light fires with my mind, and I wasnt really keen on their finding out. I loved my power, but Id seen the gulf it had created between Robbie and me, and, in another way, between Bree and me. I was something different. I didnt want my friends to fear me.
Hunter looked at me with serious eyes. I could tell that he wanted me to light the candle, too. Erin leaned forward slightly, one eyebrow arched, almost as if she doubted I could do it.
The circle was hushed and still. A feeling of expectancy filled the room.
I faced the candle and quieted my mind. The energy that still curled through the room flowed through me, and in a moment the wick sputtered and burst into flame. A few people gasped. Alisas eyes flew wide, and she drew her knees toward her chest and leaned away from the candle, as if it were a snake that might bite her.
Oh my God, Morgan, Bree said. She was staring at me.
The candle flame burned steadily, and I looked over it at Hunter. His face was golden in the soft glow.
Suddenly a frigid breeze blew through the room, as if someone had opened a window. The candle flame hissed and went out, then the candle itself toppled over, spilling wax on the carpet. An icy finger of fear tickled my scalp. That was a big candle, I thought. It shouldnt have blown over so easily.
A murmur ran through the room.
Whats happening? Alisa whispered.
But before I could answer, the lightbulb in the lamp behind Hunter exploded with a loud pop. Someone screamed. For a moment I thought it was me, but then I realized it was Alisa. She stared at me in horror.
On the other side of the room the bookcase behind Hunter shuddered, and a book flew off the shelf, hurling itself against the opposite wall. Reflexively I threw up my hands as the entire shelf of books flew after the first one, landing on the wall with thud after vicious thud. The bulbs of the other three lamps exploded in rapid succession, the sound like gun-fire. Hunter stood up and ran to the windows.
Stop it! Alisa screamed. Stop it, Morgan!
I cant! I shouted. I had no idea what was happening or what had caused it.
On Alisas other side Sharon reached to pull her into a hug, but Alisa fought her off as the room was plunged into darkness. Hunter stepped away from the window, letting the cold moonlight trickle in. Alisa was still screaming. I could see Erins small form as she stood up and began to chant.
Goddess, we trust in you to protect us,
With this prayer we banish fear.
It was a short chant, and as she said it over and over, Alisas cries grew more faint until the only noise I heard was a faint sniffling. The rest of us took up the chant. There was strength in the simplicity of the words, and as I said them, I felt their magick working on me. I took deep breaths and imagined a white light growing inside me, and I tried to release the fear that had held me in its grip. After a few minutes the room felt calm again, although the warm energy from before had disappeared.
There was a light scraping sound, then a small burst of flame as Sky struck a match. Leaning forward, she stood the pillar candle up and lit it. Hunter, who was still standing, took the packet of matches from her and began lighting candles all around the room. I looked around the circle at everyones faces. Robbies lips were pressed tightly together, and I could feel anger flowing from him. Bree looked at me like she couldnt remember who I was, and Jenna stared at the floor, avoiding my eyes. Matt, Thalia Cutter, and Simon were wide-eyed, silent. Hunter and Sky were impassive, but Raven was gazing at me with what looked like respect. And Erin looked at me like I was a fascinating bug, something slightly revolting but nonetheless interesting.
I didnt do anything, I said loudly. That wasnt me.
Alisa shakily got to her feet. Sharon stood and put her arm around Alisas shoulders. Alisa turned to her and asked, Will you take me home? She sounded very young. Sharon nodded, and Alisa turned toward the door. I tried not to feel hurt. I knew Alisa blamed me, but this wasnt my fault.
Im sorry, you guys, Sharon said. But I think Alisa
Its all right. Actually, why dont we call it a night? Hunter said quietly. Well talk about this next week, when weve had a chance to sort it out.
Right. Robbie got to his feet. He didnt look at me.
Bree peered around him. Morgan?
Im staying, I said. Hunter, you can take me home later, right?
Hunter confirmed with a nod. In a few moments everyone had said their good-byes, and the house was empty except for Hunter, Sky, Erin, and me. The blood witches.
Sky extinguished the candles, and we moved to the kitchen, where Hunter poked around, looking for new lightbulbs.
Well, that was a very interesting circle, Erin said brightly as she pulled up a chair to the farmhouse table.
I ladled hot cider into four cups and handed them out. What happened? I asked as I warmed my hands on the sides of my cup.
I was about to ask you that, my dear, Erin replied. She took a sip of her cider.
It wasnt me, I said again, feeling resentful.
Erin put down her cup. Leaning forward on one arm, she looked at me closely. Are you sure? she asked. I opened my mouth to reply, but Erin held up a hand. Im not saying that you caused it on purpose. It might have been an accident. Leaning back in her chair, she added, It was my understanding that there were only four blood witches here tonight. And only one who hasnt been trained. Or initiated. You.
It wasnt me, I insisted. I would have known if I were making something happen. I would have felt power flowing through me. I turned to Hunter. Right?
Hunter looked at Erin. Morgan is extremely powerful, he said. She may not be initiated, but she has gained a great deal of control over her magick.
Erin shrugged. Perhaps, she said. I couldnt tell if she was convinced. All right, then, she went on, turning to Sky, what else might have caused it?
Hunter and Sky exchanged glances. Amyranth? Sky asked. Hunter nodded, and I felt a tightening in my chest. Amyranth. Ciarans coven. They had kidnapped me, tried to drain my power. Were they after me again?
Was. . was Ciaran himself after me? I felt cold at the thought. I was more or less certain that he knew Id worked with the council to try and trap him. He might want revenge. True, I was his daughter. His flesh and blood. He loved meI really believed that. Then again, he had loved my mother. And that hadnt stopped him from killing her.
Erin cocked her head and thought for a moment. There are sigils of protection on this house, I presume?
Yes, of course, Hunter said. But I should redraw them.
Erin stood up. Do that. She put a gentle hand on my shoulder. Sky and I will do a few spells to protect Morgan herself.
I looked up at her in surprise, but she just continued to watch Hunter as he grabbed a flashlight and went out the back door. In a few moments we could hear his footsteps crunching through snow as he visited each window and door and retraced the runes of protection on them.
Erin took her chair again, and then she, Sky, and I joined hands around the table. Erin began to chant. Though I didnt understand them, the words sounded beautiful in her lilting voice. The energy flowed between us, and suddenly I felt filled with light, with magick. Serenity flowed around me.
After a few moments Erin let go. Picking up my hand, she traced a sigil on my palm, one I had never seen before.
This will protect you. Her voice was strong and sure. I looked into her cool, clear eyes. Shes a master of magickal defenses, I told myself. I can believe her.
Anyway, what choice did I have?
4. The Vision
September 15, 1971
The sky in the color of steel today, and the bitter wind has begun to blow from the North. The flags are flying at half-mast, and there seems to be a hush over the town of Gloucester. We heard this morning that the Lady Marie went down in last nights storm.
All five fishermen abroad are believed dead-Captain James Dallman, Tim Flanagan, Arnold Jenning, Jason Dallman, and Andrew Lewis. The storm came up so suddenly that the men on board werent even able to radio for help. They sank fifty miles off Eastern Point.
They havent found the bodies.
Sam has been quiet all day. He knew Andrew Lewis pretty well. We all did, actually-Drew grew up only two blocks from our house. He was two years older than I am and was a big baseball in the neighborhood games and taught them how to field and bat. Sam looked up to him.
Some people said that Drew should have tried for a career in baseball-he evn got a college scholarship to play. But Drew just wanted to be a fisherman like his dad. He didnt want to leave Gloucester.
And now hes gone. Of course, thats the risk you take, being a fisherman. Its a dangerous job. Not even all the magick of Wicca can save you from the full force of a storm.
Sarah Curtis
Let me take you home. Hunter stood over me, worry etching fine lines around his mouth. Ive finished with the sigils. There isnt much else we can do tonight.
When I stood, I felt like every muscle in my body was aching. The nights tension had made me stiff.
Erin and Sky were talking together in the living room, and they both seemed subdued as we said good-bye. Still, there was something in Erins gaze as she looked at me that seemed sharp and wary. I felt like I had spent the evening under a microscope. I was on edge until Hunter and I were safely tucked into his beat-up Honda. He turned the key in the ignition, and we were off.
As we neared a heavily wooded dip in the road, the fog grew thicker and Hunter had to slow the car. My senses snapped to alert. The road revealed itself only a yard at a time, and deer were known to dart out onto the asphalt. It could be very dangerous.
Hunter slowed even further as we headed into a curve that I knew all too well. It was here, almost two months before, that Cal had suddenly reappeared after he and his mother had left Widows Vale. It had been a dark night like this one, and Cal had been standing right in the middle of the road. At the memory, the hair on the back of my neck began to prickle, and without even realizing it, I cast out my senses.
I felt nothing. I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself. Theres nothing here, I told myself. Focus on your breathing and calm down. Another deep inhale and Hunter was easing around the curve, beginning to accelerate slightly. I felt better.
Just then, Hunter slammed on the brakes and the car swerved sickeningly.
Someone was standing in the middle of the road.
Cal! An involuntary cry escaped me.
Goddess, help me, I thought desperately. Hunter muttered curses and fought with the steering wheel. I felt the jarring pressure of the seat belt across my chest as we came to a sudden skidding stop and I was thrown forward in my seat. We were half on, half off the shoulder.
I turned to make sure Hunter was okay and saw that his eyes were huge. He was staring straight ahead, still gripping the steering wheel. In front of us, the figure in the fog had not moved.
I stared at it, my lips moving dumbly for a moment before I realized that it wasnt Calat least, not in any incarnation I knew. The figure had a human form, but it was shadowy and indistinct. It looked vaguely female. Whoor whatwas it?
I leaned forward to look at it more closely and saw that it seemed to be part of the mistas if the fog itself were struggling to come to life. For a moment I thought it was an optical illusion, a trick of mist and light, but then the figure actually turned and looked directly at us. Its eyes seemed to see, and it gazed at us mournfully. Sadness gripped me with iron claws. Holding my breath, I didnt dare to look away.
I reached for Hunters hand and found that it was icy. After a long moment the figure disappeared.
What was that? I whispered.
Hunter didnt respond. Instead he merely closed his eyes, and I knew that he was pouring every ounce of concentration he had into casting out his senses. I leaned back against the plush car seat and did the same. Around us, by the side of the road and into the forest, I cast out with my mind. I felt the heartbeats of a brood of young fox kits, frightened by the footstep of a doe nearby. I sensed a small field mouse and the silent swoop of an owl overhead, diving toward its prey in an elegant, deadly arc. I felt the quietness of the trees, their collective silence that had stood sentry and witness, rooted to that spot, in some cases, for over a century.
But there was no human presence in the woods.
A shudder rippled through Hunter, and I knew that he had felt what I had. Nothing.
Was it Thinking again of Cal, I felt my body grow cold. Do you think it wasa ghost?
I didnt even know whether such a thing was possible, but Hunter didnt laugh at me. I dont think so, he said slowly.
Something about his tone of voice made me ask, Do you think it could be another message from your parents?
For a moment Hunter was silent. Yes, he said finally. It could be. But it could also have been a number of other things. I realized that Hunter was holding back, but I didnt ask him what he was thinking. I could guess. Amyranth. Ciaran.
I think we should tell Erin about this, he said.
At the mention of her name, a mental image of Erins appraising glance flashed through my mind, and I felt a small pinprick of impatience. But I immediately pushed the feeling aside. Hunter was right, and I knew it. When can we meet? I asked.
Are you free tomorrow night? Hunter asked, and I nodded. That was the last thing we said as the car plodded forward at its snails pace. Wrapped in fog, the night had a sense of unreality, and I was so, so glad to have Hunter sitting next to mestrong and sure, like the trees that loomed in the mist, standing guard over the forest.
The next day dawned clear and chilly, with a pale blue sky dotted with puffy clouds. Last falls brown, brittle leaves danced by my windowpane on the breeze.
It was such a beautiful day, the incidents of the night before seemed unreal. . and unlikely. Had everyone really freaked out over a few lightbulbs bursting? That could have been an electrical surgea problem in the wiring at Hunters house. And the figure in the fog could have just been an odd mist formation. Clouds took on strange shapes all the time, I reminded myself.
I lay in bed, enjoying the warmth of my flannel sheets and down comforter, listening for the sounds of my parents and sister as they went through their usual Sunday routine of showers and breakfasts. But the house was silent. Rolling over, I glanced at my digital clock. Nine forty-seven! They hadnt even bothered waking me for church.
I lay back against my pillows, unsure how I felt about that. Wicca was my religion, after all, the religion that felt like home to me, as natural as breathing. And I hadnt been going to church much lately. Still, our church filled me with warm feelings. It held lots of good memories for me, memories of my family and of my community.
Suddenly I felt like the last child to be picked up from a partyneglected and forgotten. I knew the feeling was childish, but I couldnt help it. It wasnt so much that I really wanted to go to church. I just wanted to be asked.
Slowly I crept out of bed, moving aside my cat, Dagdas, warm, furry form. He mewed softly, then stretched and rolled onto his back, only to curl up again and doze off. What a life.
After a long, steamy shower I began to feel almost human again. I puttered around the house awhile, reading the paper and microwaving myself a bowl of oatmeal. Desperate to talk to somebody, I called Robbie, but he wasnt home and I didnt leave a message. I didnt know what I wanted to say. Finally I decided to meet my parents for brunch at the Widows Diner. It was a tradition for my family to eat there after church. This would be a good chance to show my mom that I could spend time with the family and still be involved in Wicca. Besides, I wanted to see them.
Quickly I pulled on a gray cable-knit sweater and my faded jeans. I put on my thickest socks and sank my feet into my heavy brown boots. In just a few minutes I was in Das Boot, tearing up the road on the way to the Widows Diner.
As I walked into the diner, my stomach squirmed with nerves. Between Mary K being mad at me and the lecture Id gotten from my mom, I wasnt sure what to expect. I glanced around and saw that my family was sitting in our usual spotthe booth against the windows. They were all laughing at something someone had said. Across from my mom and dad was the back of Mary K.s head. . and someone else, a girl with thick, golden brown hair. I stopped short. Who was that? Then my mom looked up and saw me. She looked surprised and pleased. She waved me over.
Mary K. turned around in her seat. After a moment she flashed me an uncertain smile, and the nervous caterpillars in my stomach quieted. Had she forgiven me? I hoped so. I grinned back and hurried toward them. The other girl still hadnt looked up, so I didnt see until I got to the table that it was Alisa.
Hi, everyone, I said, sliding into the booth next to Mary K. The Formica tabletop was littered with my familys half-eaten lunch. Hey, Alisa, I added when she didnt look up from the straw wrapper she was fiddling with on the table. For a moment I wondered what she was doing there. But I knew that she went to our church and that she and Mary K. had gotten pretty tight ever since Mary K.s best friend, Jaycee, had found a boyfriend. Alisa had been close to Jaycee, too, so I guess that made both Alisa and Mary K. boyfriend refugees.
Alisa gave me a hesitant smile. Hi, she said. There were dark circles under her eyes and a strange note in her voice that brought back the eerie scene from the night before. Instantly I remembered just how real it had all been. Alisa went back to fiddling with her straw wrapper.
Have you eaten yet, sweetie? my mom asked, and my dad twisted in his seat to flag the waitress down.
Some oatmeal, I replied. I really just came by to see you guys.
Only oatmeal? Have a bagel, my mother urged, or a cup of soup. Its lunchtimeyou should have a bite to eat.
I realized that my parents wouldnt be satisfied until I ordered something, so I asked for some wheat toast and chamomile tea. By the time Id finished ordering, my mom and dad were engrossed in a conversation about some problem she was having with her boss. I turned to say something to Mary K., but now she had her back to me. She was whispering something into Alisas ear. My heart sank, and I had the strangest feeling. It was almost as if I were invisible. I sat quietly, staring out the window for a few moments, waiting for my tea. Here I was, right in the middle of my familyand missing them more than ever.