Strife - Кейт Тирнан 5 стр.


The creature leaned toward me as the darkness closed in. I didnt know what to do. Blindly I threw out my hands and sent a white ball of energy at the creature. It was fearsome-looking, brilliant and powerful. I had never called up something like that before, and for a moment I felt a surge of hope. But the creature merely made a flicking gesture with its left arm and easily deflected the ball across the room. It slammed against a metal shelving unit with an enormous crash. Back stock of notebooks flew off the top shelf and rained all over the floor. I could hardly see anything through the black vapor. I cowered against the wall behind me and finally sank to the floor.

The creature reached out a claw and grabbed my shoulder. Morgan, said a voice through the darkness. It was a lovely, musical voice, and for a moment I couldnt remember where Id heard it before. Morgan, it repeated, are you all right?

I looked down at the horrifying claw on my shoulder. Slowly it began to shift and change. The thick, muddy gray skin began to lighten, and the cruel claws receded until it was nothing but a small, pale hand almost the size of a childs. I looked up into Erins clear green gaze. Are you all right? she repeated.

The fog around me began to lift, and I sat up. What happened?

Take a deep breath, Erin advised. Now release it. Do it again, she urged. Focus on the breath. Now ground yourself.

Leaning forward, I placed my forehead against the cool tile floor. Slowly my head cleared. You need to learn to control your emotions, Erin said. Pride and fear can cut you off from your power and leave you vulnerable. Im sorry, she added as I sat up. You fooled me with the divagnth. I didnt realize you werent ready for that lesson.

Standing up, Erin reached out her hand and pulled me to my feet. Youre strong, Morgan, she said. Thats your weakness.

I frowned. That doesnt make sense.

You have strong native power, Erin explained. Strong abilities. You just called up white witch fire, no easy task. But you dont have control. She gestured toward the scorched metal shelves and the Books of Shadows that had spilled all over the floor. That makes you dangerous.

But youre here to teach me control, I protested.

Morgan, she said with forced patience, I understand that youve been in a complicated situation. I dont know all the details, but I do know that youve been forced into a situation in which youve had to begin your education in the middle of things, instead of at the proper beginning.

What are you saying? I asked warily.

Im saying that you should back up. Erins voice was brittle. Take a break from magick that is too advanced for you and focus instead on learning your plants and witch history. I know its not what you want to hear, but when youre sailing in the wrong direction, sometimes its faster to go back than it is to keep pushing on until youve gone around the world.

I feel like youre punishing me, I said bitterly.

Its for your own safety. Erins voice was like a door slamming shut, and I knew that there was no use arguing. And its not forever, Morgan, she added. Well begin again tomorrow, at the library. At three-thirty sharp.

The bell over the door jingled againthe customers leavingand Alyce poked her head through the curtain. Is everything okay back here? she asked. Her eyes fell on the ruined mass of notebooks. Oh, my.

We were just about to clean that up, I said quickly. Erin and I walked over to the pile of Books of Shadows and began brushing them off and placing them back on the shelf. Thankfully, most of them were undamaged. Erin told Alyce that she would pay for the ones that were.

Its my fault, Erin told her, digging in her bag. Besides, the cost of a few blank Books of Shadows isnt one-tenth of the value of this book. She jerked her head in the direction of On the Containement of Magick.

I watched Erin hug Alyce as we said good-bye. Erin was stiff, but her affection seemed real as she tucked the silk-wrapped book under her arm. Then again, shed seemed pretty real when shed looked like a hideous monster only half an hour before.

I sensed who was calling a second before the phone rang. Ill get it, I called, starting up from the dining room table, where I was doing my homework. But it was already too late.

Hello? my moms voice said from the kitchen. Dad was working late, so she and I were the only ones home. Wed finished dinner about two hours ago, and Mom had been working on her various documents in the kitchen since then.

Yes, this is she, I heard her say. Oh, hello. Yes. What? Wellno, she didnt. I see. Mmm-hmm. Even through the door, I could hear the edge of anger dawning in my moms voice.

I stared down at the books and notebooks spread out before me and tried to focus on the analysis of vectors I was doing for physics, but it was no use.

Was that out of a hundred points? I heard my mother ask, and I bit my lip.

After a moment I heard Mom hang up, and the door between the dining room and the kitchen swung open. Morgan, we need to talk. Her voice was grim.

My stomach churned. I put down my pencil. Okay.

Sitting down across from me, my mom said, I just got a phone call from your history teacher, Mr. Powell.

I didnt even bother trying to act surprised. I know, I said.

Hes concerned about your grade in his class. So am I.

I know, I said again. Shifting in my seat, I added, Ive already talked to him about doing some extra credit

Holding up her hand traffic-cop style, my mom cut me off. Morgan, Im not happy about the fact that you failed two tests. But Im even more unhappy about the fact that you hid it from Dad and me. When were you going to tell us?

I thought that if I brought my grade up

But what if you didnt? my mom interrupted. Mr. Powell says that these two exams count for fifty percent of your final grade. Were you going to wait until you failed the class to let us know that there was a problem? She ran her fingers through her russet hair in an I-dont-know-what-to-dowith-you gesture.

With extra credit, I could still get a B in the class!

You could still get an F! my mom snapped. Have you even started this extra-credit work?

I dug through my stack of papers and pulled out the notes Id already made for my history paper. I didnt realize until after Id handed them to my mom that I was making a horrible mistake.

This cant be your history paper. Moms voice was tense. What is this?

Were allowed to write on any subject, I explained weakly.

She simply looked at me for a moment, then slapped the notes down on the table in frustration. Why do you have to test us? You know how Dad and I feel about witchcraft nonsense!

The Salem witch trials arent nonsense, I pointed out, my own temper starting to flare. They were an important historical event.

Thats not the point. Morgan, your interest in Wicca has grown to the point where its crowding out almost everything else, my mom said. I dont want you throwing your future away.

Im not! I cried. How can you say that?

Look, my mother went on. I dont want to fight about the witch stuff right now. Your grades have to improve, and I dont see that happening. This is your final warning. If those grades dont improve, Dad and I are going to start talking seriously about changing your environment.

What? This had never come up before. What do you mean?

Saint Annes has a few openings, my mother said. Its a very good school.

My jaw dropped open. Its a Catholic school. My voice was harsh. Youd really send me to a Catholic school?

Why not? The average class size is fourteen students, so they would be able to give you a lot of individual attention. She reached out and touched my hair almost pleadingly. We want to help you, Morgan.

I stared at her. As if yanking me away from all my friends and sticking me into a place where they still believed in corporal punishment would help! The words Im not Catholic sprang to my lips, but I couldnt bring myself to say them. It seemed almost like a declaration of war. It wasnt exactly true, anyway. Catholicism was the religion I was raised with, and I still felt like I was a Catholic in many ways. Please, Mom, I answered instead. Dont do that. IllIll go to the library every day. Ill bring my grades up, I swear.

Well see. My mom pushed my history notes across the table at me and stood up. Family night is tomorrow, she said wearily. At six.

Ill be there. My voice sounded hollow.

She trudged out of the room. I watched her go, then looked down at my books.

I had a lot of work to do.

I just dont think I can study with Erin right now, I said to Hunter. I was using the phone in the kitchen, summarizing the conversation Id had with my mom earlier that evening. My parents and Mary K. had gone to bed, but Ithe night owlwould be up for another few hours. I just cant, cant get sent to Catholic school.

That would be awful, Hunter agreed quietly.

But my grades are really in the gutter.

Hunter sighed. Isnt there any way that you can learn from Erin and still improve your grades? he asked. We can try to make sure you have time to finish your schoolwork, too. Its very important that you study with Erin right now. Especially with all the mysterious things that have been happening.

Pushing aside some of my moms paperwork detritus, I made room for the cup of tea Id just brewed. I took a sip, debating whether or not to tell Hunter what had happened with Erin earlier that day. Actually, Erin doesnt even want to teach me magick, I admitted finally. She just wants me to study witch history and plants.

Those things are important, too, Hunter replied.

I stared at the receiver a minute, unable to believe he was taking her side. How typical. Oh, yeah, theyll come in real handy if Im ever attacked by the dark forces, I said sarcastically.

Im here to protect you in case that happens, Hunter reminded me. And basic knowledge is necessary to learn more advanced magick. Witch history, herbs, runesall of these things are part of the initiation rites. Erin is right to make sure you know them. Once youre a full apprentice, then you can start learning more magick and more spells. You know more than most initiates already.

I sighed. Its just hard to see the value in that. I mean, you know the dangers of the dark forces even better than I do. I need to learn about them.

I know. Hunters voice was gentle. But you have to look at the big picture. The sooner you can be initiated as a blood witch, the better. Once youre in total control of your powers, Morgan, youll be a great asset.

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Hunter had a real gift for making things sound unromantic. All right, I said. Ill figure out a way to do both. We said our good-byes, and I stood up to place the phone in its cradle. When I turned around, I nearly jumped a foot in the air. God, Mary K., I said, placing my palm on my chest. You scared me.

She stood in the doorway in a white nightgown. Beneath the fluorescent kitchen lights, she looked pale and strange.

Whats wrong? I asked quickly.

Alisa was right, she said in a low voice.

I swallowed hard, mentally running through the conversation Id just had with Hunter. How much of it had she overheard? What are you talking about? I stalled.

You know what Im talking about. Mary K.s whisper had the intensity of a scream. My God, Morgandont try to cover this up with lies.

I jammed my hands into the soft pockets of my flannel robe. Look, Mary K., I dont know what you heard

I want you to leave the coven. The words hung there, ugly and irrefutable, as Mary K. folded her arms across her chest.

No. I shook my head. Im sorry, but

Morgan, dont you get it? Mary K. interrupted. This isnt just about you. What about Mom and Dad? They dont have any idea whats really going on! How do you think theyll feel if anything happens to you? Her voice wavered, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. How do you think Ill feel if something happens. . and I never even warned them?

I stood there wordlessly for a long time. I understood what she was saying. . but what could I do about it? I couldnt leave the coven now. I had chosen Wicca, and it had chosen me. And even though I wanted to comfort Mary K., I knew I couldnt lie to her. In the end, I just said, Im sorry.

Mary K. was still standing in the kitchen when I went up to my room. I lay in my bed, listening for her footsteps, on the stairs for a long, long time. She still hadnt come upstairs by the time I finally fell asleep.

7. Danger

Today was Andrew Lewiss funeral. Mother and Father didnt want us to go, but Sam insisted and in the end our parents had to give in. I dont often have a chance to go to a Catholic church for any reason, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the service. Sunlight streamed in the stained-glass windows, and the whole ceremony seemed very ancient and peaceful, even though it was a bit too solemn. I couldnt help comparing it with the circle wed held the night before at Patience Stamps house. Shes a potter, and her house is very simple but filled with beautiful handmade things. Wed held hands and had felt the magick flow between us, easing the pain we felt at losing our friends to the sea. I felt the same kind of magick in the church-a healing magick that exists between people. In the middle of the service I noticed that tears were streaming down Sams cheeks, and I handed him a tissue. But later I discovered he was feeling more than simple sorrow.

After the service Sam walked into my room and sat at the edge of the bed. When I saw that he was holding the Book-the Harris Stonghton book-I was afraid.

Then Sam told me that hed tried a small spell-a weather spell-because it hadnt rained for so long. Hed just wanted to see if he could call up a little rain, so about ten days ago, when the moon was waxing, hed tried it. He hadnt known what would happen, he said, so it couldnt really be his fault, could it?

It took about half a minute for this to sink in. When I realized what he was telling me, I could hardly breathe. How could he? How? The storm that killed the crew of the Lady Marie was his fault. I grabbed him by the collar and started to shake him. What have you done? I was almost screaming, and Sam started bawling. The Book fell from is lap, and I dove for it. It felt warm in my hand, like something alive, and I wanted to throw it down, but I didnt dare.

I must burn the vile thing before it destroys us all.

 Sarah Curtis

Morgan! I knew the voice was Brees, but I couldnt reply or even turn my head because I was gripping a paper cup of tea in my teeth as my cold fingers fumbled to lock the door of my car. Plumes of steam rose from the hot liquid and combined with my breath, dissipating quickly.

Here, Bree said as she reached for the paper cup.

I released it gratefully. Thanks.

Got a minute? Bree asked.

Sure, I said, taking the tea back from her. Whats up?

Robbie and I broke up.

I choked on the sip of tea Id just taken. What? I looked at Bree more closely. Her face was ashen, and her eyes were red-rimmed. She wasnt kidding.

Bree glanced at my car. Can we?

Of course. I put my tea on the roof of the car and unlocked the door. A quick glance at my watch told me that we had ten minutes until the first bell. What do you mean, you broke up? What happened? I asked when we were seated inside the car.

Just what I said. Robbie and I talked last night. Bree gave a small half shrug, lifting only one shoulder. He said he needed space.

I waited a moment. And? I prompted.

Thats it. Bree gazed straight ahead. The parking lot was filling up as teachers and students hurried to class.

Bree, I said, that doesnt necessarily mean that Robbie wants to break up. I didnt think it did, anyway. If it did, I was going to have to have a long talk with Robbie.

Bree flashed me an oh-grow-up glance. Spare me. I know what it means. Raking her fingers through her hair, she added, Not that it really matters, anyway. I mean, the relationship was getting a little old. Ive been thinking about dating other people.

Bree, I said gently, its me. Dont.

She turned toward me, and her facade broke. Her eyes welled up, tears ran down her cheeks, and she looked like the same Bree whose heart was broken by Todd Hall in the seventh grade. I know. I justI just needed to say something bitchy.

I opened my mouth. But just then the first-period bell sounded, far away, and Bree opened the car door and stepped out.

Bree, I called after her, talk to Robbie! But shed already slammed the door and was striding toward the school. I didnt know whether shed heard me, and I wasnt even sure that it mattered.

I should be home by six, I said into a pay phone in the lobby of the public library later that day.

Great, my mom said at the other end of the line. I was thinking for family night we could play some board games and make hot fudge sundaes.

Even the faint crackle of static on the line couldnt disguise my moms excitement. I got the feeling that she was trying to make peace after our argument the night before. Sounds great, Mom, I said, suddenly struck with a pang of guilt. Id told my mom that I was at the library to study history and sciencebut I hadnt mentioned it was witch history and magickal botany with Erin. And here she was, planning fun activities for the whole family. I was a terrible daughter. See you at six.

I hung up, feeling lousy.

Everything all right? Erin asked as I plopped down across from her.

I laced my fingers together and rested my chin on them. Just parental stuff.

Erin peered at me. As usual with her, I felt like I needed to explain myself. Its justtheyre Catholics. They dont approve of witchcraft. And theyre threatening to send me to Catholic school.

Erin nodded gravely. I wonder what your mother would think of all this.

For a moment I was confusedhadnt we just been talking about my mother? Then I realized that Erin was talking about Maeve, my birth mother. My heart suddenly skipped a beat.

I had never known my birth mother. She was from Ireland and had come to America with her lover, Angus, only after their entire coven was decimated by the dark wave. Coming to America hadnt saved her, though. Ciaranher other, secret lovercaught up with her and killed her while I was still a baby.

Did you know her? I asked Erin. My throat was suddenly dry.

I met her once, briefly, when she was about fifteen and I was twenty-one, Erin said. My dearest friend, Mary, married a Belwicket man. Her eyes clouded.

Belwicket was the name of Maeves coven. Your friend did she

Gone, Erin said. Like everyone else.

We sat together in silence for a moment.

I cant imagine what it must have been like for you, growing up in a house without magick, she said. Her eyebrows were raised, and her face held a question.

It wasnt a big deal, I admitted. I never knew anything else. I paused. The next part was harder to talk about. Until I met Cal. I looked at Erin, unsure how much of the story she already knew.

Erin nodded. Sgàth, she said, using Cals witch name.

The word sounded like a low susurration, the voice of the wind in the trees. She knew who he was. Of course.

Yes. He taught me about Wicca, and I started learning more on my own. I discovered that I had powers. And then I learned the truth. That my parents werent my birth parents. . and that I was Woodbane.

Morgan, Erin said, leaning toward me. You havent had an easy time of it. But that just means you have to be willing to work very hardharder than most others have to. Are you willing to do that?

I didnt hesitate. Yes, I said.

Good. Erin held up a small slip of paper. Ive checked the computer. The library has a number of fascinating books on witch history. We can start there. She handed the paper to me. On it was a list of five books and their call numbers.

Ill be right back, I said. As I headed over to the nonfiction section of the library, I passed a familiar auburn head bent over a notebook at a nearby table. Mary K. She had gotten a ride with Susan Wallace both before and after schoolclearly avoiding me again. Alisa sat across from her, murmuring in a low voice. Whispering in my sisters ear about my evil powers, no doubt.

A voice in my mind urged me to go and find the books. I knew it was the smart thing to do, but I just couldnt make myself do it. There was something about the way Alisa looked, sitting thereI wanted to get her away from Mary K. Things were tense enough with my family. I didnt want Alisa getting into the middle of it. I crossed the room in a few quick strides and stood next to my sister. Hey, you guys, I whispered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Mary K. looked up with a start and placed her hand casually over what shed been writing. Alisa practically turned green.

Uh, hi, Morgan, Mary K. said. There was a thin edge in her voice. Was it anger, or fear? I couldnt read her expression.

What are you guys working on? I asked.

Oh, Mary K. said, glancing down at her paper. Just a writing assignment. She shifted in her seat and glanced over my shoulder. What are you doing here?

I lifted my eyebrows. Im studying. I tried to get a better look at Mary K.s notes. There seemed to be a lot of them. You guys seem to be working pretty hard on this thing, I pressed, trying to make conversation.

Mary K. looked really uncomfortable. I turned to Alisa, who was as still as a stone. Is it a project for class? I asked. Alisa didnt respond. She stared down at the library table as if it were the most fascinating piece of wood in the universe.

I couldnt imagine what theyd be hiding from me. Whats going on? I asked finally.

Mary K. stared helplessly at Alisa.

Mary K. is helping me write a letter, Alisa said without looking up from the table. Then she raised her head and looked me in the eye. Its to the town newspaper, and its about the dangerous witchcraft going on around here.

Shes lying. That was my first thought: Shes lyingshed never do that. And Mary K. would never help her. I turned to my sister. Is this true? I asked her.

Mary K. didnt reply. "It was my idea, Alisa said, still looking at me with that defiant gaze.

"Mary K.? My voice was a whisper. Mary K. wouldnt look at me.

It was my idea, Alisa repeated.

I folded my arms across my chest. Have I done something to you? I asked her.

Alisa looked startled. What?

Have I made you mad or something? Or has someone in Kithic done something wrong? I struggled to hold my anger in check. Why was she doing this? What did she have to gain? Because you seem to have turned against us.

Thatthats not true, Alisa insisted feebly.

Isnt it? I demanded. Then whats the point of this letter?

Alisas mouth opened and closed. Its justits just She groped for words. Finally she shook her head. Look, forget it. Forget the letter. Im not sending it.

That doesnt answer my question, I pressed.

"Morgan, Mary K. said, she just said that she isnt sending the letter. Isnt that enough?

I dont know, I said. I really didnt. I wanted to understand what was going on inside Alisas headbut clearly she didnt want to let me in.

I looked at Mary K. "I guess Ill see you later.

She gave a quick nod and looked down at her paper again. I didnt say anything to Alisa, just turned and walked toward the stacks, fuming. Everything was skidding out of control latelyschool, my family life, even my magick.

Just put it out of your mind, I told myself. You can always talk to Mary K. later. I checked the call numbers of the books Erin had listed and realized they were on one of the top shelves. Grabbing a library ladder, I stepped up to the top rung and began hunting for the first title.

Legacies of the Great Clans, I murmured to myself. Legacies of My ladder tipped slightly, and I instinctively reached out and grabbed one of the shelves to keep myself from falling. It must be uneven, I thought as I wiggled myself gingerly to feel if the legs were stable. The ladder didnt move.

I didnt have time to think about that, though, because in a moment a book flew off the shelf, hurling itself against the books on the shelf across from it. Where have I seen that before? I wondered dimly as the entire bookcase began to rattle and shake. It gave a heavy groaning creak, and I looked back at it just in time to see it tip toward me.

I didnt even have time to let out a cryI jumped from the ladder as the bookcase toppled. With a fierce crash, it slammed into the shelf across from it, and books slid off the shelves and thudded to the floor. I landed on the floor in a heap, under the tilted shelf, and felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. Around me there were shouts, then scuffling noises as people ran toward me.

Are you okay? The gangly librarian leaned over and helped me to my feet. She stared at the bookcase and the mess of books on the floor. You could have been hurt!

Staring at the wreckage, I started to shake. It was true. The bookshelf was massive and loaded with heavy volumes. If it had fallen completely, it could have landed on me. And if it had toppled the shelf across from it, it could have landed on someone else. I shuddered.

A small group of people had gathered nearby, and Erin pushed her way through them to come over to me. What happened? Her tone was sharp, her forehead creased with worry.

I cast a sideways glance at the librarian, who was inspecting the shelf gingerly. It was just like the other day at Hunters, I whispered. I saw a book fly off the shelf before the whole thing toppled. Now I was shaking for real. Ciaran, I thought. It had to be him. Who else wouldor coulddo this? My birth father really was after me. Remembering what he had done to my mother, to her whole coven, I had to fight for breath. If Ciaran really was after me, how could I ever escape him?

I saw the muscles in Erins jaw start to work. How are you feeling? she asked.

I felt my shoulder where Id landed on it. Im okay, I said. Just bruised.

No, Erin said. I mean, are you feeling lightheaded? Dizzy? She frowned and passed a hand across my forehead. Do you feel like you need to ground yourself?

Suddenly I understood what she was saying. You think I did this, I murmured.

Erin looked calmly at me. Who do you think did it? she asked.

Fear shot through me like lightning. Ciaran, I said quickly.

I dont think so. Erins voice was certain, and I felt a flash of doubt. Could I have been responsible for this? I didnt think so. I would have felt the magick flowing through me, I reasoned.

Do you have any idea how you summoned white witch fire when we were working together in Practical Magick? Erin asked abruptly.

No, I admitted.

Morgan? said a voice behind me. My God, Morgan are you okay? It was Mary K. Alisa was right behind her.

Im fine, I said as Mary K. rushed over and gave me a hug. I winced at the pain in my shoulder but didnt complain.

What happened? Mary K. said as she eyed the shelf. I turned and stared back at the wreckage. Someone could have been hurt, screamed a voice in my brain. Someone could have been killed! What were you doing, leaning on it or something?

I shook my head but didnt say anything. Alisa was staring at Erin as if she were some kind of poisonous snake or tarantula. Her eyes darted from Erin to the shelf and finally settled on me. I felt I could almost see her mind working. She knows, I realized. She knows its another magickal aberration. Freak accident, Alisa said.

Yes, Erin agreed. She looked at Alisa more closely. Dont I know you? she asked.

We met last Saturday night, Alisa replied coolly. At Hunter and Skys.

Mary K.s glance went to Erin, and she took an awkward step backward. I could see her putting the pieces together. Saturday night plus Hunters house equals witchcraft. She looked back at me. Arent you here to study? she asked sarcastically. Then she spun and stalked out of the library.

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