It was strange. I had gotten so used to magick flowing through me that right now I was feeling like a clogged drainsomething less than useless. I remembered when I had first met Cal and my magick had begun to reveal itself. Id felt frightened and off-kilter. Now I just felt. . hollow.
Before we begin, I think we should do a little meditation,Erin went on. It should clear your head and make the pain recede.
I went and dug my altar out of my closet. Erin lit the candle and the incense, and I drew a circle on the floor and turned out the overhead light. It was gray and cloudy outside, so the room was fairly dark. Dagda stalked over to the altar to investigate, sniffed everything, then dashed away at top speed. I opened the door and let him out, then sat on the floor, facing Erin, my back to the bathroom that connected my room with Mary K.s.
Erin reached out and took my hands in hers. Her fingers were cool and smooth, and the minute we touched, I felt strength and comfort flowing from her. We didnt speak, but soon I felt magick pulsing through the room.
Clear your mind. I heard the words although Erin hadnt spoken. I closed my eyes and tried to reach out. An image flashed in my brainErin standing before me in a yellow field, wearing a brilliant blue dress made of a delicate fabric, embroidered with symbols older than any I knew. Let go of the pain. Erin reached out to me, and the fabric of her ancient dress rustled in the breeze.
At her touch, the stabbing pain in my forehead dulled a bit. My head was still throbbing, but it was a muted ache. My chest lifted, and I took a deep breath of clean air. I felt infinitely better.
I smiled at her, and she smiled back.
Just then I felt something slam me in the back. I let out a startled cry and heard someone shriek behind me. I opened my eyes to see Erin falling away from me. Everything, the floor, the altar, everything was falling away. Erins grip tightened on my hands, and my arm muscles tensed as I tried desperately not to let go. For a dizzy moment I expected Erin to shout at me not to let her drop.
Oh my God! the person behind me screamed. I turned and saw it was Alisa. Her face was white and covered in a light film of sweat. She looked confused, like she wasnt quite sure where she was. But something about her orientation was wrong. She was standing, supporting herself against the door frame to the bathroom. And I was sitting, yet my face was almost level with hers.
Oh my God! she screamed again, her eyes wide with horror. That was when I understood what was happening. I was levitating.
My heart clenched in a cold fist of fear. I was going to fall! I flailed with my legs but only succeeded in kicking the bathroom door shut. My hair fell forward over my shoulders. Dont let go! I screamed to Erin. Dont let go of me! In my panic I pictured myself flattened against the ceiling of my room, crushed by the weight of reverse gravity.
Erin closed her eyes and made a low humming noise at the back of her throat. I felt myself sinking slowly, an inch, then another, toward the floor.
Alisas face was greenish white. She backed away from me, then ran toward the door that led into the hall. I heard her footsteps thudding on the stairs and saw a gray streak as Dagda dashed after her.
Whats going on? I heard Mary K. shout. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that her music wasnt playing anymore.
I got lower, and lower. . Finally I was only a few inches off the floor. All at once I dropped onto my jute rug in a sprawling heap.
I looked up at Erin. That wasnt me, I said.
I know, she said. I looked at her closely and realized that she was afraid.
I heard Mary K.s footsteps on the stairs, then the front door slamming. All at once there was a squeal of tires and a piercing scream.
Mary K.! I scrambled to my feet and nearly flew down the stairs, Erin right behind me. I dashed out onto the muddy front lawn and came to a stop by Mary K., who was standing perfectly still in the middle of the front walk, her hand covering her mouth. Alisas dark form was retreating down the streetshe was running home, I guessed. But that wasnt what Mary K. was looking at. I followed her gaze and saw that she was staring at a car that had stopped in front of our house. The door opened, and a heavyset woman rushed out and peered at something next to her front fender.
At first I thought that she had hit a piece of wood or some garbage in the road. Then I saw the thing move. One gray paw twitched feebly.
Dagda.
My heart clutched. The woman looked up and saw us. Help! she cried. Tears began to rain down her cheeks. Oh God, Im so sorry! I love cats. She looked at me helplessly. He just came out of nowhere.
I couldnt speak. I bent mutely over Dagda.
The woman began crying even harder. Im so sorry, she said again.
Dagdas eyes opened, then closed again. He was alive! But though there wasnt any blood on him, I could see at a glance that he was badly hurt. I tried to cast my senses, but it was no use. My magick was still reined.
My vision blurred with helpless tears. I turned around and saw Erin behind me. She bent and studied my kitten for a moment. The injuries are internal, she said. Her voice was low, but I could tell from her expression that Dagda was dying.
I didnt know what to do. I didnt want to move him for fear of causing him more pain. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I looked at him, his fur matted and soaked with gray leftover snow.
I couldnt just let him lie there, die there, in the street. I picked him up, cradling him in my arms.
Mary K. was still frozen to her spot on the front walk. Morgan, Erin said. She leaned toward Dagda, and I wanted to scream at her to get away from him, to leave him alone, but I couldnt. Her hand hovered hesitantly over Dagda, her face questioning.
Then I remembered. Erin is a healer, I thought. I could feel the movement of Dagdas tiny lungs as he labored to breathe. I started to sob wrenchingly. Could she heal him? Surely he was too far gone, even for a witchs power.
Erin squeezed my shoulder. Once again strength seemed to flow from her into me. Quiet yourself, she said gently. Dont let your emotions control you.
I took a deep breath. Then another. Erins strength flowed through my body. I said nothing as she lowered her hand and touched Dadgas head. She stroked him tenderly, with the force of a butterflys wings. Closing her eyes, she stood without moving. Time seemed to stand still, and I held my breath. I dont know how long we stood there like thatit might have been five minutes or five hours.
Dagda let out a small mew.
Oh thank God, the heavyset woman said. Oh, thank you, Lord! I thought Id killed him!
Erins face was serious. Hes badly hurt, she said, then turned to me. You should get him to a veterinarian as soon as possible.
I know a good one, I said, thinking of my aunts girlfriend, Paula Steen. Her clinic was the closest one I knew ofonly about fifteen minutes away. Thank you, I said, and Erin nodded.
I dont know why, but I turned to the heavyset woman and said, Hes going to be fine.
Bless you, she replied, which struck me as odd, but sort of sweet and strangely appropriate.
Still cradling Dagda with one arm, I pulled my keys out of my pocket and turned toward my car. Then I heard a voice call, Morgan?
It was Mary K. She looked lost. Can I come with you? she asked.
I didnt even have to think. Lets go, I said.
10. Confrontation
October 10, 1971
I finally worked up the nerve to warn my mother bout the book, but she hardly seemd interested. I told her that the powers of Wicca were starting to seem uncontrollable to meand frightening in a way that they never had before.
Mother didnt like this. She laid down her knife and told me that I was being ignorant. She made it sound like she thought I was a hystericlike those people during the witch trials. Another Harris Stonghton.
I told her that I had some good reasons to be freaked out, but she just that she didnt want to hear it. She said that we were responsible witches and that we had a right to our beliefs.
Just at that very momentI mean exactly as she said thatthe silverware drawer flew out. It just flew right out of the cabinet and landed on the floor with a clatter. Then an icy wind blew through the room and the cabinet doors burst open.
Get down! Mother yelled as the plates flew out and hurtled the wallcrash crash crash!
I screamed and screamed until the cupboard was empty. I screamed until my mother picked herself off the floor and took me by the shoulder. She shook me, but my scream went on and on until I couldnt scream anymore.
Then Mother held me and told me that everything would be all right. But I dont believe her.
There is dark magick in this house. For a while I thought it was the book itself that was responsible, but I know its impossible. Its just a book. It may be full of evil, but it cant actually make things happen.
I can hardly bear to think it, but I have to. Could Sam be behind it?
Sarah Curtis
May I help you? the woman behind the desk asked as I rushed into the veterinary clinic. She was middle-aged with dyed blond hair and looked bored.
Im here to see Paula, I said in a rush. Dr. Steen.
Do you have an appointment? the receptionist asked.
No, I Just then Mary K. walked in with Dagda in her arms. The woman took one look at Dagda and said, Come with me.
We followed her down a long white hallway and into a small room. Just a minute. The woman hurried out of the room. Barely a minute had passed before Paula walked in.
Morgan! She looked surprised and pleased. Mary K.! A quick glance at Dagda and her smile evaporated. What happened? she asked.
He was hit by a car, I said as Mary K. laid Dagda gently on the steel table at the center of the room. Dagda struggled to get up but couldnt.
Paula pursed her lips. She palpated Dagdas ribs and stomach gently. Then she touched his left foreleg and frowned. This needs an X-ray, she said.
Is he going to be all right? Mary K. asked nervously.
Paula looked at her and smiled reassuringly. This is one lucky kitty, she said. I think his leg is broken. He might have to hobble around on a cast for a while, but all things considered, thats pretty minor.
I exhaled with relief. Thats great news, I said.
Why dont you guys wait outside while I take the X-ray? she suggested. If we do have to put a cast on, we may have to sedate him. It could take a little while.
I threw myself into one of the large, comfortable chairs in the waiting room while Mary K. went outside to the pay phone to let our parents know where we were. I was glad we had come here. I didnt know where the receptionist was, but she was no longer behind her desk. I was alone in the waiting room as the sky outside grew from pink to dusky gray and the shadows disappeared.
What had happened today? I dug a hand into my pocket, remembering the feeling of the door slamming into my back, the fear as I left the ground, Alisas screams. Thank the Goddess that Erin was there, I thought. She saw everything. She knows I couldnt have levitated myself. Especially not with my power restrained the way it is.
But then, who did it?
There was a sudden blast of cold air as Mary K. stepped back into the clinic. I finally reached Mom, she reported. She said she hopes Dagdas okay and shes glad we thought to go to Paula.
Thanks, Mary K., I said.
I called Alisa, too, Mary K. said, sliding into the seat next to mine. But her dad said shes too sick to come to the phone. Mary K.s voice told me that she wasnt exactly sure this story was true. She looked at me sideways. What happened in there? she asked. Why did she run out of our house?
I sighed. Im really not sure. It was the truth. Im not sure why she came bursting into my room in the first place.
Mary K. shrugged. She wasnt feeling great. Maybe she just got confused which door was which.
I thought about Alisas face, distorted in fear. She doesnt like me.
She doesnt know you, Mary K. replied. After a moment she added, And you dont know her.
Something in her tone of voice made me look at her. What do you mean? I asked.
Mary K. sighed. Its justAlisas going through some pretty rough family things right now. Shes not. . not at her best.
I sank back into the chair, wondering what was going on with Alisa. But Mary K. clearly didnt want to tell me, and I didnt want to press her for details. Suddenly I felt guilty for not reaching out to Alisa more. It was obvious that she was troubled and that probably the animosity she felt toward me didnt really have anything to do with me.
Still, at least she had a friend like Mary K. Someone who didnt give up secrets easily. Someone who cared. I gave my sister a sideways look, loving her. I really hoped we could get past the trouble we were having now.
Paula came out with Dagda in her arms. He was wearing a small cast on his foreleg, which stuck out awkwardly from the rest of his limbs. Here you go, Paula singsonged. Good as newor almost. Hes a little out of it from the sedation, but thatll wear off by morning.
I rushed over, and Paula handed Dagda to me. He stirred in my arms, and Mary K. scratched him behind the ears. Thank you so much, Paula, I said. Dagdas breathing was perfectly normal, and he didnt seem to be in any pain. And thank you, Erin, I added silently.
Its just a fracture. Youll need to come back in two weeks so we can check on his progress, Paula said. But I think well be able to take the cast off then.
We said good-bye, and I handed Dagda to Mary K. so I could drive. On the way home Mary K. asked, Who was that woman who was at the house today? She was the same one you were at the library with, right?
I winced. I should have seen this question coming. Shes a tutor.
And a witch, right? Mary K. asked.
Anyone who has been initiated into a coven is a witch, I replied, figuring that a half-truth is better than no truth at all.
Mary K. stroked Dagda. Sowhy are you hanging out with her? Her voice held a distinct note of unease.
Shes teaching me.
Like, how to put hexes on people and stuff? Mary K. asked.
No, I said curtly. Hadnt she learned anything about Wicca from being around me? Of course not. Shes teaching me about the history of Wicca and about herbs.
Mary K. looked dubious. Herbs?
Herbs have a lot of medicinal properties. Some can speed recovery. I mean, there might even be something I could feed Dagda that would make him get better sooner.
Really? She sounded intrigued. I wonder if she could help Alisa. Shes been sort of worn out lately.
Do you want me to ask Erin about it? I suggested.
No, Mary K. said quickly. No, dont.
I didnt press her. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as she rubbed Dagdas belly and he purred sleepily. She had been there when Erin healed Dagdabut how much had she actually understood? I was afraid to find out.
When we got home, Mary K. handed Dagda over to me, and I took him upstairs and settled him comfortably on my bed. He instantly dozed off once I put him down.
How is he?
I turned around and saw my mom standing in my doorway. Hes fine, I said, giving Dagda a small pat. Mom came over and gave him a gentle rub on the head. Paula says the cast can come off in two weeks.
Thats good news. My moms eyes lingered on Dagda a moment, then she turned to me. Come downstairs, Morgan. Your father and I want to talk to you.
I felt my throat tighten, but I followed her downstairs to where my father was sitting on the couch with his serious face on. My mom sat down beside him. I took the armchair across from themThe Accused.
Morgan, Mary K. told us that you had a visitor today, my mom began. And that you were with a friend in the library yesterday.
My body went cold. I tried to read my mothers face did she know that Erin was a witch? I didnt think so.
You werent supposed to have any visitors, my mom went on. You knew the rules, and you broke them.
I wanted to protest, but I knew that would only make things worse. I clamped my lips together and sat on my hands.
Morgan, your father and I have talked about this a great deal. We want you to be in a supportive environment. We dont want you to throw your future away. You need guidance and a firm hand and
Fear gnawed at my stomach like a hungry rat. No. This couldnt be. What are you saying? I asked.
What your mother is saying, my dad put in, is that we think it would be best if you went to Saint Annes starting at the beginning of next quarter.
Oh, no, no, no! My stomach fell. What? I cried.
My mothers nostrils flared. Look, weve given you a number of chances to show us that youre turning your grades around, and youve disobeyed us at every step. This started long agoback when we asked you not to read Wiccan books
So thats it, I broke in, stunned. Youre sending me to a Catholic school to try to convert me!
What? My mom looked shocked.
Morgan, dont be ridiculous, my father said. We just want whats best for you.
And whats best for me is Catholicism and not Wicca, right? I shot back. I cant possibly have both in my life.
You were raised with Catholic values, my mom said hotly. Those are our values.
I stood up and faced them. Look, I cant help being a witch, I said. My voice shook. Wicca is in my blood. I couldnt change it even if I wanted to. But thats the point I dont want to. I respect your beliefs. Why cant you live with mine?
The minute the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to call them back. My fathers face went white, and my heart ached, but it was too late. My parents sat on the couch, stone-faced and silent. It was so quiet that I could hear the seconds ticking by on my watch.
Then my mom stood up. Morgan, weve made this decision already. We want to put you in a positive environment and we found one that seemed to offer the kind of academic support and discipline we think you need. We want you to value school and excel in it as you have in the past. Im sorry if that offends you, but its something else youre going to have to live with. She turned and walked out of the room.
My father stood and faced me. We love you, he said in a quiet voice. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, and I saw in his eyes that my father was afraid afraid for me.
We looked at each other a moment, then he turned and followed my mom.
I love you, too, I said softly to the empty room.
11. Connection
Im scared. I think I might be going crazy.
Today I was over at Mary K.s house, and I started to feel sickkind of dizzy and nauseated. So I went to her bathroom to splash water over my face.
While I was standing at the sink, something weird started to happen. My hearing started to fade, almost as if someone had stuffed wads of cotton in my ears, and then my vision started to narrow, like I was looking through a tube. I thought I was starting to black out, so I sat on the toilet seat and put my head between my knees. After a few minutes I felt a little better, so I got up and splashed a little more water on my face. Then I headed out through the door only I guess I got the wrong door because I walked into Morgans room, and there she was doing some bizarre ritual with Erin. Thats when things started to get really crazy. I think I started hallucinating because I thought I saw Morgan rise into the air, like some kind of freaky from The Exorcist.
Needless to say, I got out of there. But I still dont know if what I saw was real.
And I cant figure out what would be more frighteningif it was, or if it wasnt.
Alisa
It was a dismal morninggray and chillyand I kept my head down and my shoulders hunched as I strode toward the quiet school building. The bell had rung ten minutes ago. Mary K. had always made sure that I was up by seven-thirty, but now that she was barely speaking to me, I didnt have any more wake-up insurance. Today I was late beyond all redemption, thanks to the fact that Id overslept by forty-five minutes. I was still feeling headachy and ill, and the weather made me feel even worse. The absence of my magick was so overpowering that it was almost like a presence. I couldnt wait to get inside the warm school and distract myself with academics for a while. Or maybe I could catch a few winks in English class. Since Id be attending Saint Annes soon, I could afford to catch a nap here and there while I could.
Morgan.
I spun around. Whos calling me? I thought. But of course, my magick was still reined. Apparently I could still receive a witch messageI just couldnt send one. I turned back and scanned the front of the building.
At first I didnt see him. I had to look very closely before I noticed Hunter standing beside the large oak tree that grew to the far right of the building.
How are you? he asked as I walked up to him. His navy blue cap was pulled down over his hair, and the wind had made his cheeks pink. You look tired.
Im okay, I said. Listen, Hunter, I know I said Id call you the other day
Morgan, its fine, he interrupted me. I knew you wouldnt be able to send a witch message, and Erin explained that you were grounded. She told me a few other things, too. Hunter reached out and pulled me into his arms. Im so glad youre all right, he whispered into my hair.
I relaxed against his chest, loving the warmth of his touch. I felt him kiss the top of my head, making my scalp tingle, and then pull me tighter. Itll be all right, I thought. Even if I get sent to Saint Annes, Ill still have Hunter.
After another moment he pulled away. Theres been some news, he said.
I felt my stomach tighten. Your father? I breathed.
Hunter smiled wryly. No, he said. Yours. Apparently Ciaran has been very active since his arrival in Madrid. That sigil you placed on him shows that hes visited a few of the top people on the councils watch list. Of course, there isnt any concrete proofyetthat he has been the one behind the attacks against you. But one of the people he visited is Lenore Ammett, a witch known to have very strong telekinetic powers, who is suspected of abusing them. He paused, watching as the meaning of his words sank in. He nodded slightly and went on. If shes helping him, he may have found a way to get around the proximity problem. Based on what we know, Ciaran looks to be the guilty party. Erin thinks so. The council thinks so. Hunters jaw set into a firm line. And I think so.
The words were both comforting and unsettling. Of course I wanted Ciaran to be stopped. But then again. . he was my father.
So how are they going to stop him? I asked.
With our help, Hunter replied.
Ours? I repeated faintly.
Hunter nodded. All of ours. Morgan, I know youre grounded, but this situation has become very grave. Erin has found a spell that she thinks can help us. Its a deflection spellwhen it is used against a witch, any magick that he works will come back to him threefold.
I frowned. Isnt that just the threefold law? I asked.
No. Wind ruffled an errant strand of Hunters pale hair, and I brushed it away from his face. The threefold law is simply a general rule of the magickal universe, like karma, or what goes around comes around, as you Americans say. He grinned. But the universe can take a long time to set things right.
But the deflection spell? I prompted.
Works immediately. Hunters green eyes glittered. And harshly.
Waitwhy doesnt the council just use this all the time to punish anyone whos abusing their powers? I asked, thinking of Selene, who almost succeeded in killing meand probably did succeed in killing othersbefore she was brought to justice.
The spell has some drawbacks, Hunter admitted slowly.
Such as?
Hunter cleared his throat. Well, he said, the spell requires a great deal of combined magick to work. And it tends to sap the energy of those who use it. Basically once the spell is finished, everyone in our circle will be the way you are nowpossibly worse
Which means that if someone else is behind these incidents or if someone else, like one of the other Amyranth branches, decides to attack us, well be in serious trouble, I finished for him.
Yes, Hunter said. But on the positive side, the spell may not sap our energy for that long. Well probably just feel ill for about a day. Erin is fairly certain
Erin is fairly certain? I repeated. Erin hasnt done this spell before?
No one in the council has, Hunter admitted uncomfortably. Its strictly forbidden because of the dangers involved. Also because of the source. But Erin has managed to convince the council that this is one time its worth the risk.
What source? I asked. Wheres the spell from?
Its from a book by Harris Stoughton, Hunter replied. Apparently Alyce gave it to Erin the other day.
I was there, I said faintly, trying to suppress the shudder that had run through my body at the mention of Harris Stoughtons name. I was liking this plan less and less. You think this is a good idea?
Hunter shrugged. We havent heard much about Amyranth lately. I went to New York City yesterday and did some diggingit seems that none of the other members of that cell could have been behind this. They all seem to be lying low. And if we do use the spell, well know right away whether it worked. First, well feel the effects. Second, the spell will hit Ciaran hardprobably making him physically ill for at least a few days. That ought to make it easier for one of the Seekers in Spain to apprehend him. This is our chance to help out.
I looked at Hunter, feeling his desire to stop Ciaran almost like it was my own. I knew that he wanted to bring Ciaran in for my safety, but there was something else behind it as well. Hunter was a Seeker by nature, not just by training. It was what he lived for. It was a side of him that frightened me. It was also part of the reason I loved him.
What do you need me to do? I asked.
Erin wants to hold a circle tonight: you, me, Sky, and Alyce. I know youre grounded, but do you think theres any way you can make it?
I shook my head. No. My parents are really upset. They want I looked up at the redbrick school building, which contained all of the friends and classmates whom Id hung out with my entire life. They want to transfer me to Saint Annes.
Hunter frowned. The Catholic school? They decided?
I nodded. You know they dont approve of Wicca.
Hunter sighed. Ill help you get through this.
They feel like Im slipping away from them. I shrugged. I guess I have been, in a way. Anyway, trust me, theres no way I can make it to a circle tonight.
Right. Hunter looked disappointed, if not surprised. Well, we really need you, Morgan. So Ive brought you this. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small dark blue stone. A vein of white ran through it, and it reminded me of the night sky lit up by the Milky Way.
What is it? I asked, taking the stone from him.
Its lapis lazuli, Hunter explained. It facilitates understanding and communication. Ive strengthened it with a spell. If you place this stone on your forehead, I ought to be able to send you thoughts and images, and you ought to be able to do the same to me, like a witch message, only better. It will be almost as if you were there at the circle with us. I should be able to channel your energy. Even with your power reined, the spell and my magick ought to allow the two of us to communicate. But once your power has been unreined, youll be able to participate fully.
My heart skipped about five beats. Youre unreining my power?
Of course, Hunter replied. Erin feels terrible that you were ever reined in the first place. Clearly you had nothing to do with what was happening.
I slipped my arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. Thank you, I said.
Theres nothing to thank me for.
My lips were still warm where they had touched Hunters. I wanted to contradict him, but I didnt. Instead, I asked, Has there been any new word from your parents?