I cant believe you kept him a secret! Miles says, the second Judes gone. Thats the worst kind of selfish! Especially when you already have a hottie of your own!
I cant believe you kept this a secret, Haven says, still gripping the flyer. Youre lucky hes letting me in!
Im lucky? I shake my head. The last thing I need is Haven developing any hidden psychic abilities when she intuits too much alreadyor at least where Damen and I are concerned. Besides, class already started, which is why he said hed try to fit you in. Knowing Ill do whatever it takes to turn that try into a cant. And what about work? Wont it interfere?
She shakes her head, eyes narrowed, my opposition making her more determined than ever. Nah, theyre good with my schedulewont be a problem.
They? I glance at her briefly, before reaching for the appointment book, thumbing through it in an attempt to appear blasé, uncommitted, when the truth is, Ive gone high alert.
The powers that be. She laughs, looking at me. My bosses, whatever.
Is Roman one of your bosses? I glance at her briefly before turning the page.
Um, hello? Hes in high school, remember? She shakes her head and glances at Miles, the two of them exchanging a look I prefer not to read.
I stopped by yesterday. I study her closely, peering at her aura, her energy, stopping just shy of peeking into her head. Roman said you werent there.
I know, he told me. Guess we just missed each other. She shrugs. But even though you think weve changed the subject, we havent. So tell me, whats up with you and this class? She stabs the flyer with her purple-painted nail, gaze narrowed on mine. Why dont you want me to take it? Is it because you like Jude?
No! I glance between them, knowing it was too quick, too forceful, and only raised their suspicions. Im still with Damen, I add, even though its not really true. But how can I admit it to them when I cant even admit it to myself? Just because hes never at school doesnt mean I stop and shake my head, knowing its better to end it right here. But just so you know, Honors enrolled, and I pretty much figured you wouldnt want to be in the same class as her. My gaze fixes on hers, hoping thatll stick.
Seriously? She and Miles both gape, four brown eyes taking me in.
What about Stacia? And Craig? Haven asks, ready to forget all about it if the entire Mean Team is in.
And even though Im tempted to lie, I shake my head and say, No, just her. Weird, huh?
Havens aura flickers and flares, weighing the pros and cons of developing her psychic skills alongside a bully like Honor. Looking around the store as she says, So what exactly do you do here? Do you give readings and stuff?
Me? No! I press my lips together and reach for the box of receipts, flipping through them for no other reason than to avoid her piercing gaze.
So whos this Avalon chick? She any good?
I freeze, eyes darting between them, unable to speak.
Um, hello? Earth to Ever! The sign, right behind you, the one that says: BOOK YOUR READING WITH AVALON TODAY! She shakes her head. Only half joking when she says, Jeez, you really do just slide by on your good looks, dont you?
Sign me up! Miles says. Id love a reading with Avalon. Maybe she can tell me where all the hotties hang out in Florence. He laughs.
Sign me up too. Haven nods. Ive always wanted a reading, and I could really use one about now. Is she here? She glances around.
I swallow hard. I shouldve known it would come to this. Damen warned me of this very thing.
Um, hello? Haven waves, exchanging a look with Miles. Wed like to book a reading, please. I mean, you do work here, right?
I reach under the counter, grasping the book, flipping through it so quickly the dates and names are a blur of black letters on white. Slamming it shut and stashing it away again when I say, Shes booked.
Okay. Haven narrows her gaze, totally onto me now. Then how about tomorrow?
I shake my head.
The next day.
Still booked.
Next week.
Sorry.
Next year.
I shrug.
Whats your deal? She squints.
I pause, seeing how theyre both staring at me, convinced Im either holding something back, have completely lost it, or both. Knowing I need to do what I can to dispel that when I say, I just dont think you should waste your money. Shes not all that great. Weve had some complaints.
Miles shakes his head, looking at me when he says, Way to close a deal, Ever.
But Havens unmoved, gaze fixed on mine, head nodding slowly as she adds, Well, Im sure this isnt the only place where I can get a reading. And for some reason, for some strange, unknown reason, now Im more determined than ever. Slinging her bag over her shoulder and grabbing Miless hand, pulling him alongside her as she heads for the door and says, I dont know whats going on with you, but youve been acting really strange. Stranger than usual. Glancing over her shoulder and shooting me a loaded look I prefer not to interpret. Seriously, Ever, if youre into Jude, then just say so. Though you might want to tell Damen firsthe deserves the courtesy, dont you think?
Im not into Jude. I shrug, trying to appear calm, even, but failing miserably. Besides its not like it matters, theyre already convinced. Everyones convinced. Everyone but me. And trust me, theres nothing going on except finals, planning for Miless party, and allthe usualstuff My voice trailing off, knowing not one of us is buying it.
Then wheres Damen? How come he never comes around anymore? Haven asks, as Miles stands beside her and nods. Allowing me a few seconds to answer before adding, You know, friendships are supposed to work both ways. Give and take. Based on trust. But for whatever reason, you think you need to act perfect all the time. Like nothing ever goes wrong in your perfect, pretty life. Like nothing ever bothers you or drags you down. And Im here to tell you that believe it or not, Miles and I will still love you even if you have an imperfect moment. Heck, even if you have an imperfect day, well still sit with you at lunch and text you in class. Because, trust us, Ever, its not like were buying your perfect act anyway.
I take a deep breath and nod. Its all I can do. My throat is so hot and tight theres no way I can speak.
Knowing theyre waiting, both of them, standing by the door, willing to stay if Ill just say the word, find the courage to open up and trust them enough to unburden myself for a change.
But I cant. Who knows how theyd react, and I have enough to deal with already.
So I just smile and wave and promise to catch up with them later. Trying not to wince as they roll their eyes and leave.
CHAPTER 40
Im in the back room, hunched over the book when Jude comes in, surprised to find Im still here.
I saw your car parked out back and wanted to make sure youre okay. He pauses in the doorway, eyes narrowed, taking me in, before dropping onto the chair just opposite the desk where he studies me some more.
I gaze up from the book, eyes bleary as I glance at the clock, surprised to see how late its gotten, surprised to see Ive been here so long.
I guess I got a little caught up. I shrug. Its a lot to slog through. Closing the cover and pushing it aside as I add, And most of it useless.
You dont have to pull an all-nighter, you know. You can take it home if you want.
I think about home, and the message Sabine left for me earlier, informing me of her plans to cook dinner for Munoz, making home pretty much the last place I want to be at this point.
No thanks. I shake my head. Im done. Realizing I mean it in every possible way.
For a book that once held such promise, all Ive read so far are location spells, love spells, and a dubious cure for warts with inconclusive resultsnothing about reversing the effects of a tainted elixiror how to get a certain someone to divulge the only thing I really need to know.
Nothing that holds the slightest bit of promise for me.
Can I help? he asks, reading the defeat in my gaze.
I start to shake my head, knowing he cant. But then I think better. Maybe he can?
Is she here? I stare at him, holding my breath. Rileyis she around?
He looks to my right, then shakes his head. Sorry. He shrugs. Havent seen her since
But even though his voice fades, we both know how it ends. He hasnt seen her since yesterday, just before Damen caught us embracing on the beacha moment I prefer to forget.
So how exactly do you teach someone toyou knowsee spirits?
He looks at me for a moment, rubbing his chin as his eyes study mine. I cant necessarily teach someone to see them. He leans back in his seat, propping his bare foot on his knee. Everybodys differentwith different gifts and abilities. Some are naturally clairvoyantable to see, or clairaudientable to hear, or clairsentient
Able to sense. I nod, already knowing where this is going and eager to get to the good stuffthe juicethe part that helps me. So what are you then?
All three. Oh, and clairscent too. He smiles, a quick easy grin that practically lights up the room and makes my stomach go all weird again. You probably are too. All of those I mean. The trick is to get your vibration raised high enough, then Im sure He looks at me, knowing he lost me at vibration and adding, Everything is energy, you know that, right?
The words bringing me back to that night on the beach just a few weeks before, when Damen said the very same thing, about energy, vibrations, all of it. Remembering how I felt then, so afraid of confiding what Id done. Naïve enough to think that was the worst of my problems, that it couldnt get any worse.
I gaze at Jude, his mouth still moving as he goes on and on, explaining energy, vibration, and the ability of the soul to live on. But all I can think about is the three of us, Damen, me, and himwondering how we truly do fit.
What do you think of past lives? I ask, cutting him off. You know, reincarnation. Do you believe in that stuff? Do you think people really have leftover karma they need to work out, again and again until they get it just right? Holding my breath, wondering how hell respond, if he has any recollection of us, who we once were.
Why not? He shrugs. Karmas pretty much king. Besides, wasnt it Eleanor Roosevelt who said she didnt think it would be any more unusual for her to show up in another life, than the one she was in now? You think Im gonna quash old Eleanor? He laughs.
I sit back, studying him, wishing he knew about our tangled past. If for no other reason than to get it all out in the open, put it right there on the table, so I could report back to Damen and prove that its over. And figuring maybe its my job to get the ball rolling, I take a deep breath and say, Have you ever heard of someone named Bastiaan de Kool?
He looks at me, squinting.
He wasDutchan artisthe paintedandstuff I shake my head and look away, feeling foolish for bringing it up. I mean, what exactly am I supposed to follow that with? Well, just so you know, Bastiaan was you, several hundred years agoand the person you painted was me!
Seeing him sit there before me, lips quirked, shoulders lifted, clearly unaware of what Im getting at. And short of escorting him to Summerland and re-creating the gallery, neither of which Im going to do, theres no way to continue. Ill just have to sit this one out. Wait until my three lonely months are up.
I shake my head, determined to put it behind me and get down to the business at hand. Looking at him and clearing my throat when I say, So, how exactly does one raise their vibration?
By the time were done, Im no closer to talking to dead people than I was before I started. At least not the dead person Im actually interested in. Though plenty of other disincarnates made themselves known, but I pretty much blocked them all out.
It takes practice. He locks the front door and leads me to my car. I sat in a weekly spirit circle for years before my powers fully returned.
I thought you were born with it? I squint.
I was. He nods. But after blocking it out for so long, I had to really work to develop it again.
I sigh, unable to see myself joining a séance group and wishing there was an easier way.
She visits you in your dreams, you know.
I roll my eyes, remembering that one crazy dream, and knowing no way was that her.
But he just looks at me, nodding when he says. Of course she does. They always do. Its the easiest way to get through.
I look at him, leaning against my car door, key in hand as my eyes travel his face. Knowing I should go, say good night and be on my way, but for some reason Im unable to move.
The subconscious mind takes over at night, freeing us of all the usual restrictions we put on ourselves, all the things we block out, telling ourselves it cant happen, that mystical things arent really possible, when the truth is, the universe is magical, and mysterious, and much grander than it seems, with only the thinnest veil of energy separating us from them. I know its confusing with the way they communicate in symbolsand to be honest, Im not sure how much of that is usthe way we arrange informationor them, and the restrictions on just how much theyre allowed to share.
I take a deep breath, my whole body shivering though Im not really cold. Spooked is more like it. Spooked by his words, his presence, the way hes making me feel. But not cold. In fact, not at all.
Wondering what Riley couldve meant with the glass prison, the way I could see Damen, but he couldnt see me. Trying to view it as though its an assignment for English, like symbolism in a book. Wondering if it means that Damens misguided, cant see whats in front of him? And if so, what does that mean?
Just because you cant see something doesnt mean it doesnt exist, he says, his voice the only sound in this still and quiet night.
I nod, feeling like I should know that better than anyone as Jude stands before me, going on and on about dimensions, the afterlife, and how times just a made-up concept that doesnt really exist, and I cant help but wonder what hed do if I gave him a treat. Just grabbed his hand, closed my eyes, and took him to Summerland to show him just how deep it really goes
He catches me, catches me looking. My gaze roaming his smooth dark skin, golden dreadlocks, the scar splicing his brow, until finally meeting those sea green eyes, so deep, so knowing, I quickly look away.
Ever he groans, voice low, thick, as he reaches for me. EverI
But I just shake my head and turn away, climbing into my car and backing out of the space. Glancing into my rearview mirror to find him still standing there, still looking after me, his longing displayed in his gaze.
Shaking my head and focusing back on the road, telling myself that particular past, the things I once felt, have nothing to do with my future.
CHAPTER 41
Originally the party was supposed to be Saturday, but with Miles leaving early next week, and with so much to do between now and then, we moved it to Thursday, the last day of school.
And even though I know better, even though Im fully aware that Damen is a man of his word, Im still disappointed when I walk into English and find hes not there.
I glance at Stacia, her eyes narrowing, lips smirking, extending her foot as I try to move past, as Honor sits beside her, playing along despite the fact that she can barely meet my eyesnot with the secret we share.
And as I take my seat and gaze around the room, one thing is cleareveryone has a partner, a friend, someone to talk toeveryone but me. Having spent the better part of the year befriending someone who refuses to show, his seat beside mine, woefully empty.
Like a big block of ice where the sun used to be.
So as Mr. Robins yammers on and on about stuff no one really cares about, including him, I distract myself by lowering my shield and aiming my quantum remote at all of my classmates, filling the room with a cacophony of color and sound, remembering how my life used to bemy life before Damen when I was constantly overwhelmed.
Tuning in to Mr. Robins whos looking forward to the moment the final bell rings so he can enjoy a nice long summer free of us, then Craig whos planning to break up with Honor by the end of the day so he can make the most of the next three months. And over to Stacia who still has no memory of her brief time with Damen, though shes definitely still into him. Having recently discovered where he surfs, shes planning to spend the summer in a revolving collection of bikinis, determined to start senior year on his arm. And even though it bugs me to see that, I force myself to shrug it off and move on to Honor, surprised to see her agendas fullhaving nothing to do with Stacia or Craigand everything to do with her growing interest in the craft.
I narrow my focus, tuning everyone out in order to better see her, curious to know whats driving this sudden interest in magick, assuming its some harmless crush on Jude, and surprised to see its nothing like that. Shes tired of being the shadow cast by the spotlight, the B that follows the A. Tired of life on the second rung, and is planning the day when the tables are turned.
She glances over her shoulder and looks right at me, eyes narrowing as though she knows what I see and dares me to stop her. Still holding the look when Stacia nudges her arm, looks at me, and mouths the word freak.
I roll my eyes, starting to turn away when she swings her hair over her shoulder and leans toward me, looking me over when she says, So, what happened to Damen? Did your spell stop working? Did he find out youre a witch?
I shake my head and lean back in my seat, legs crossed, hands folded on my desk, projecting a picture of absolute calm as I shoot her a look so long and deep she cant help but squirm. Convinced Im the only witch in the room, having no idea that her minion has her own magick coup planned.
Flicking my gaze back toward Honor, sensing her defiance, a newly summoned strength she never exhibited before, our gaze holding, stretching, until I finally look away. Telling myself its none of my businessIve no right to interfere in their friendshipno right to intrude.
Shutting out all the color and sound as I glance down at my desk, doodling a field of red tulips onto my notebook, having seen more than enough for one day.
When I get to history Roman is there, loitering just outside the door as he talks with some guy Ive never seen before. The two of them stopping the moment I approach, turning toward me to get a good look.
I reach for the door just as Roman blocks it, smiling when my hand accidentally skims his hip, and laughing even harder when I cringe and pull away. His deep blue eyes meeting mine when he says, Have you two met? He nods toward his friend.
I roll my eyes, wanting only to get to class and get it over with, put this whole miserable junior year behind me and fully prepared to knock him out of my way if I have to.
His tongue clucking inside his cheek when he says, So un-friendly. Seriously, Ever, your manners are lacking. But far be it from me to force it. Some other day perhaps.
He nods at his friend, prompting him to leave, and Im just about to barge into class when I glimpse something on the peripherythe lack of an aurathe physical perfectionand Im sure if I looked hard enough Id find an Ouroboros tattoo to confirm it.
What are you up to? I say, my gaze switching to Roman. Wondering if his friend is one of the long-lost orphans, or some unfortunate soul hes more recently turned.
Seeing the smile that widens his cheeks when he says, Its all part of the riddle, Ever. The one youll be called upon to solve very soon. But for now, why dont you just head inside and brush up on your history. Trust me. He laughs, opening the door and waving me in. Theres no need to hurry. Your time will come soon.
CHAPTER 42
Even though I told Sabine she could invite Munoz to the party, shes smart enough to recognize a halfhearted offer when she hears itso luckily for us, they made other plans.
I ready the house with all things Italianplatters of spaghetti, pizza, cannelloniballoons that are red, white, and greenand a profusion of paintingsmanifested replicas of Primavera and Birth of Venus by Botticelli, Titians Venus of Urbino, Michelangelos Doni Tondo, as well as a life-sized statue of David out by the pool. All the while remembering the time Riley and I decorated the house for that fateful Halloween partythe night I kissed Damenthe night I met Ava and Drinathe night that changed everything.
Pausing to glance around and take it all in before heading for the couch and assuming the lotus position. Closing my eyes and concentrating on raising my vibration just like Jude taught me, missing Riley so much Ive committed to my own séance circle, determined to practice a little each day until she appears.
Quieting my mind of all the usual chatter and noise, keeping myself open, alert to all that surrounds me. Hoping for some sort of shift, an unexplained chill, a whisper of sound, some sort of signal to prove that shes nearbut getting only a stream of bossy ghosts who are nothing like the sassy, twelve-year-old sister I seek.
And Im just about to call it quits when a tremulous form starts to shimmer before meleaning forward, straining to see itwhen two high-pitched voices say, Whatre you doing?
The second I see them I spring to my feet, knowing he brought them, and hoping I can still catch him before he leaves.
My flight halted when Romy places her hand on my arm, shaking her head when she says, We took the shuttle and walked the rest of the way. Im sorry. Damens not here.
I glance between them, breathless, bereft, struggling to compose myself when I say, Oh. So, whats up? Wondering if theyre here for the party, if Haven somehow invited them.
We need to talk to you. Romy and Rayne glance at each other before focusing on me. Theres something you need to know.
I swallow hard, eager for them to spill it, tell me just how unhappy and miserable Damens becomeregretting his decision to separatedesperately wanting me back
Its about Roman, Rayne says, eyes hard on mine, reading my expression if not my thoughts. We think hes making othersother immortals like you.
Except not really like you. Romy adds. Since youre nice and not at all evil like him.
Rayne shrugs and looks all around, not quite willing to include me in that.
Does Damen know? I glance between them, wanting to fill up the room with his name, shout it over and over again.
Yeah, but he wont do anything. She sighs. Says they have every right to be here so long as they dont pose a threat.
And do they? My eyes dart between them. Pose a threat?
They look at each other, communicating in their own silent twin speak before turning to me. Were not sure. Raynes starting to get some of her feeling backand sometimes it seems like my visions might be returningbut its pretty slow goingso we were wondering if we could maybe have a look at the book. You know, the Book of Shadows, the one you keep at the store. We think it might help.
I look at them, eyes narrowed, suspicious, wondering if theyre truly concerned about Romans minions or just trying to play me against Damen to get what they want. And yet, theres no doubt its true. From last count, there were three new immortals in town, all connected to Roman. All possibly up to no good. Though its also true theyve done nothing to prove that so far.
But still, not wanting them to think Im a total pushover I say, And Damens okay with this? The three of us looking at each other, the three of us knowing hes not.
They glance at each other in silent communion before turning to me. Rayne taking the lead when she says, Listen, we need help. Damens way is too slow, and at this rate, well be thirty before our powers return, and Im not sure who wants that lessus or you? She shoots me a look and I shrug, making no move to refute it since we both know its true. We need something thatll work, give quicker results, and we have nowhere to turn but to you and the book.
I glance between them, then look at my watch, wondering if I can get to the store, get them the book, and make it back in time for the party, which, considering how fast I move, and that the partys still hours away, its clear that I can.
Run, walk, whatever it takes. Rayne nods, knowing its as good as done. Well wait for you here.
I head for the garage, at first thinking a run would be nice, if nothing else it makes me feel strong and invincible and not quite so inadequate against the problems I face. But since its still light out, I drive instead. Arriving at the store to find Jude locking up early, key stuck in the door as he says, Arent you supposed to be throwing a party? He squints, gaze moving over me, taking in my tee, shorts, and flip-flops.
I forgot something. I nod. Itll just take a secsogo aheadno worriesI can lock up.
He cocks his head, aware that somethings up but still opening the door and waving me in. Trailing behind, right on my heels, watching from the doorway as I open the drawer and lift the secret latch. Just about to retrieve the book when he says, Youre never gonna believe who came in today. I glance at him briefly, then open my bag, shoving the book deep inside when he adds, Ava.
I freeze, eyes seeking his.
Tell me.
He nods.
I swallow hard, stomach like a Ping-Pong ball, bouncing furiously as I find my voice again. What did she want?
Her job, I guess. He shrugs. Shes been freelancingwants something more stable. Seemed pretty surprised when I told her Id hired you instead.
You told her? About me?
He shifts uncomfortably, from one foot to the next, looking at me when he says, Well, yeah. I figured since you guys were friends and all
And what did she do? When you told her? What exactly did she say? Heart beating overtime, eyes never once leaving his.
Nothing, really. Though she seemed pretty surprised.
Surprised that I was hereor surprised that you hired me? Which surprised her more?
He just stands there and squints, hardly the answer I need.
Did she mention anything about Damenor meor Romanor say anything else? Anything at all? You have to tell me everythingleave nothing out
He backs into the hall, hands raised in mock surrender. Trust me, that was pretty much it. She split after that, so theres nothing to tell. Now come on, lets go. You dont want to be late to your own party, do you?
CHAPTER 43
Even though Jude offered to follow me home and help set things up, I didnt want him to know Id gotten the book for the twins. So I made up some bogus excuse about needing plastic cups and asked him to stop by the store to get some, preferably red, white, and/or green, then I broke the speed limits all the way home where I handed over the goods.
Firstsome ground rules, I say, holding onto the book despite two sets of hands clamoring for it. I cant just give this to you, since it doesnt belong to me. And you cant take it home since Damen will freak. So the only way to get around all of that is for you to study it here.
They glance at each other, obviously not liking it but all out of options.
Have you read it? Romy peers at me.
I shrug. I tried to intuit it, but I didnt get much. Its more like a diary than anything else.
Rayne rolls her eyes and reaches for it again, as her sister says, You need to look deeper, read between the lines.
I glance between them, not understanding.
Youre skimming the surface. The books not only written in the Theban code, the words themselves are a code.
Its a code within a code, Rayne says. Protected by a spell. Didnt Jude tell you?
I freeze, glancing between them, thinking he most certainly did not.
Come, on, well show you, Romy says, her twin grabbing the book as we head up the stairs. Well give you a lesson.
I leave the twins in the den, the two of them still hunched over the book, as I head for my walk-in closet and reach for the box stashed up high on the shelf. Retrieving my assortment of crystals and candles, oils and herbs, all the stuff thats left over from the elixirs I made just before the blue moon, and manifesting whatevers left on the list, which turns out to be sandalwood incense, and an athamea double-edged knife with a jewel-encrusted handle much like the dagger Damen made.