I yanked a blank page out of my notebook and started writing, my handwriting more illegible than normal thanks to my agitation.
What happened? Tell me everything. And screw the protecting me crap, please.
I shoved the note at Edward. He sighed, and then began writing. It took him less time than me, though he wrote an entire paragraph in his own personal calligraphy before he slipped the paper back.
Alice saw that Victoria was coming back. I took you out of town merely as a precautionthere was never a chance that she would have gotten anywhere close to you. Emmett and Jasper very nearly had her, but Victoria seems to have some instinct for evasion. She escaped right down the Quileute boundary line as if she were reading it from a map. It didnt help that Alices abilities were nullified by the Quileutes involvement. To be fair, the Quileutes might have had her, too, if we hadnt gotten in the way. The big gray one thought Emmett was over the line, and he got defensive. Of course Rosalie reacted to that, and everyone left the chase to protect their companions. Carlisle and Jasper got things calmed down before it got out of hand. But by then, Victoria had slipped away. Thats everything.
I frowned at the letters on the page. All of them had been in on itEmmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Carlisle. Maybe even Esme, though he hadnt mentioned her. And then Paul and the rest of the Quileute pack. It might so easily have turned into a fight, pitting my future family and my old friends against each other. Any one of them could have been hurt. I imagined the wolves would be in the most danger, but picturing tiny Alice next to one of the huge werewolves, fighting . . .
I shuddered.
Carefully, I scrubbed out the entire paragraph with my eraser and then I wrote over the top:
What about Charlie? She could have been after him.
Edward was shaking his head before I finished, obviously going to downplay any danger on Charlies behalf. He held a hand out, but I ignored that and started again.
You cant know that she wasnt thinking that, because you werent here. Florida was a bad idea.
He took the paper from underneath my hand.
I wasnt about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.
That wasnt what Id meant at all; I hadnt thought of going without him. Id meant that we should have stayed here together. But I was sidetracked by his response, and a little miffed. Like I couldnt fly cross country without bringing the plane down. Very funny.
So lets say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?
Why is the plane crashing?
He was trying to hide a smile now.
The pilots are passed out drunk.
Easy. Id fly the plane.
Of course. I pursed my lips and tried again.
Both engines have exploded and were falling in a death spiral toward the earth.
Id wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then Id run you back to the scene of the accident, and wed stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.
I stared at him wordlessly.
What? he whispered.
I shook my head in awe. Nothing, I mouthed.
I scrubbed out the disconcerting conversation and wrote one more line.
You will tell me next time.
I knew there would be a next time. The pattern would continue until someone lost.
Edward stared into my eyes for a long moment. I wondered what my face looked likeit felt cold, so the blood hadnt returned to my cheeks. My eyelashes were still wet.
He sighed and then nodded once.
Thanks.
The paper disappeared from under my hand. I looked up, blinking in surprise, just as Mr. Berty came down the aisle.
Is that something youd like to share there, Mr. Cullen?
Edward looked up innocently and held out the sheet of paper on top of his folder. My notes? he asked, sounding confused.
Mr. Berty scanned the notesno doubt a perfect transcription of his lectureand then walked away frowning.
It was later, in Calculusmy one class without Edwardthat I heard the gossip.
My moneys on the big Indian, someone was saying.
I peeked up to see that Tyler, Mike, Austin, and Ben had their heads bent together, deep in conversation.
Yeah, Mike whispered. Did you see the size of that Jacob kid? I think he could take Cullen down. Mike sounded pleased by the idea.
I dont think so, Ben disagreed. Theres something about Edward. Hes always so . . . confident. I have a feeling he can take care of himself.
Im with Ben, Tyler agreed. Besides, if that other kid messed Edward up, you know those big brothers of his would get involved.
Have you been down to La Push lately? Mike asked. Lauren and I went to the beach a couple of weeks ago, and believe me, Jacobs friends are all just as big as he is.
Huh, Tyler said. Too bad it didnt turn into anything. Guess well never know how it would have turned out.
It didnt look over to me, Austin said. Maybe well get to see.
Mike grinned. Anyone in the mood for a bet?
Ten on Jacob, Austin said at once.
Ten on Cullen, Tyler chimed in.
Ten on Edward, Ben agreed.
Jacob, Mike said.
Hey, do you guys know what it was about? Austin wondered. That might affect the odds.
I can guess, Mike said, and then he shot a glance at me at the same time that Ben and Tyler did.
From their expressions, none of them had realized I was in easy hearing distance. They all looked away quickly, shuffling the papers on their desks.
I still say Jacob, Mike muttered under his breath.
4 NATURE
I WAS HAVING A BAD WEEK.
I knew that essentially nothing had changed. Okay, so Victoria had not given up, but had I ever dreamed for one moment that she had? Her reappearance had only confirmed what Id already known. No reason for fresh panic.
In theory. Not panicking was easier said than done.
Graduation was only a few weeks away, but I wondered if it wasnt a little foolish to sit around, weak and tasty, waiting for the next disaster. It seemed too dangerous to be humanjust begging for trouble. Someone like me shouldnt be human. Someone with my luck ought to be a little less helpless.
But no one would listen to me.
Carlisle had said, There are seven of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I dont think Victorias going to catch us off guard. I think its important, for Charlies sake, that we stick with the original plan.
Esme had said, Wed never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart. You know that. Please dont be anxious. And then shed kissed my forehead.
Emmett had said, Im really glad Edward didnt kill you. Everythings so much more fun with you around.
Rosalie had glared at him.
Alice had rolled her eyes and said, Im offended. Youre not honestly worried about this, are you?
If its no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida? Id demanded.
Havent you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?
Jasper had silently erased all the panic and tension in my body with his curious talent of controlling emotional atmospheres. Id felt reassured, and let them talk me out of my desperate pleading.
Of course, that calm had worn off as soon as Edward and I had walked out of the room.
So the consensus was that I was just supposed to forget that a deranged vampire was stalking me, intent on my death. Go about my business.
I did try. And surprisingly, there were other things almost as stressful to dwell on besides my status on the endangered species list. . . .
Because Edwards response had been the most frustrating of them all.
Thats between you and Carlisle, hed said. Of course, you know that Im willing to make it between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition. And he had smiled angelically.
Ugh. I did know his condition. Edward had promised that he would change me himself whenever I wanted . . . just as long as I was married to him first.
Sometimes I wondered if he was only pretending that he couldnt read my mind. How else had he struck upon the one condition that I would have trouble accepting? The one condition that would slow me down.
All in all, a very bad week. And today was the worst day in it.
It was always a bad day when Edward was away. Alice had foreseen nothing out of the ordinary this weekend, and so Id insisted that he take the opportunity to go hunting with his brothers. I knew how it bored him to hunt the easy, nearby prey.
Go have fun, Id told him. Bag a few mountain lions for me.
I would never admit to him how hard it was for me when he was gonehow it brought back the abandonment nightmares. If he knew that, it would make him feel horrible and he would be afraid to ever leave me, even for the most necessary reasons. It had been like that in the beginning, when hed first returned from Italy. His golden eyes had turned black and hed suffered from his thirst more than it was already necessary that he suffer. So I put on a brave face and all but kicked him out the door whenever Emmett and Jasper wanted to go.
I think he saw through me, though. A little. This morning there had been a note left on my pillow:
Ill be back so soon you wont have time to miss me. Look after my heartIve left it with you.
So now I had a big empty Saturday with nothing but my morning shift at Newtons Olympic Outfitters to distract me. And, of course, the oh-so-comforting promise from Alice.
Im staying close to home to hunt. Ill only be fifteen minutes away if you need me. Ill keep an eye out for trouble.
Translation: dont try anything funny just because Edward is gone.
Alice was certainly just as capable of crippling my truck as Edward was.
I tried to look on the bright side. After work, I had plans to help Angela with her announcements, so that would be a distraction. And Charlie was in an excellent mood due to Edwards absence, so I might as well enjoy that while it lasted. Alice would spend the night with me if I was pathetic enough to ask her to. And then tomorrow, Edward would be home. I would survive.
Not wanting to be ridiculously early for work, I ate my breakfast slowly, one Cheerio at a time. Then, when Id washed the dishes, I arranged the magnets on the fridge into a perfect line. Maybe I was developing obsessive-compulsive disorder.
The last two magnetsround black utilitarian pieces that were my favorites because they could hold ten sheets of paper to the fridge without breaking a sweatdid not want to cooperate with my fixation. Their polarities were reversed; every time I tried to line the last one up, the other jumped out of place.
For some reasonimpending mania, perhapsthis really irritated me. Why couldnt they just play nice? Stupid with stubbornness, I kept shoving them together as if I was expecting them to suddenly give up. I could have flipped one over, but that felt like losing. Finally, exasperated at myself more than the magnets, I pulled them from the fridge and held them together with two hands. It took a little effortthey were strong enough to put up a fightbut I forced them to coexist side-by-side.
See, I said out loudtalking to inanimate objects, never a good signThats not so horrible, is it?
I stood there like an idiot for a second, not quite able to admit that I wasnt having any lasting effect against scientific principles. Then, with a sigh, I put the magnets back on the fridge, a foot apart.
Theres no need to be so inflexible, I muttered.
It was still too early, but I decided Id better get out of the house before the inanimate objects started talking back.
When I got to Newtons, Mike was methodically dry mopping the aisles while his mom arranged a new counter display. I caught them in the middle of an argument, unaware that I had arrived.
But its the only time that Tyler can go, Mike complained. You said after graduation
Youre just going to have to wait, Mrs. Newton snapped. You and Tyler can think of something else to do. You are not going to Seattle until the police stop whatever it is that is going on there. I know Beth Crowley has told Tyler the same thing, so dont act like Im the bad guyoh, good morning, Bella, she said when she caught sight of me, brightening her tone quickly. Youre early.
Karen Newton was the last person Id think to ask for help in an outdoor sports equipment store. Her perfectly highlighted blond hair was always smoothed into an elegant twist on the back of her neck, her fingernails were polished by professionals, as were her toenailsvisible through the strappy high heels that didnt resemble anything Newtons offered on the long row of hiking boots.
Light traffic, I joked as I grabbed my hideous fluorescent orange vest out from under the counter. I was surprised that Mrs. Newton was as worked up about this Seattle thing as Charlie. Id thought he was going to extremes.
Well, er . . . Mrs. Newton hesitated for a moment, playing uncomfortably with a stack of flyers she was arranging by the register.
I stopped with one arm in my vest. I knew that look.
When Id let the Newtons know that I wouldnt be working here this summerabandoning them in their busiest season, in effecttheyd started training Katie Marshall to take my place. They couldnt really afford both of us on the payroll at the same time, so when it looked like a slow day . . .
I was going to call, Mrs. Newton continued. I dont think were expecting a ton of business today. Mike and I can probably handle things. Im sorry you got up and drove out. . . .
On a normal day, I would be ecstatic with this turn of events. Today . . . not so much.
Okay, I sighed. My shoulders slumped. What was I going to do now?
Thats not fair, Mom, Mike said. If Bella wants to work
No, its okay, Mrs. Newton. Really, Mike. Ive got finals to study for and stuff. . . . I didnt want to be a source of familial discord when they were already arguing.
Thanks, Bella. Mike, you missed aisle four. Um, Bella, do you mind throwing these flyers in a Dumpster on the way out? I told the girl who left them here that Id put them on the counter, but I really dont have the room.
Sure, no problem. I put my vest away, and then tucked the flyers under my arm and headed out into the misty rain.
The Dumpster was around the side of Newtons, next to where we employees were supposed to park. I shuffled along, kicking pebbles petulantly on my way. I was about to fling the stack of bright yellow papers into the trash when the heading printed in bold across the top caught my eye. One word in particular seized my attention.
I clutched the papers in both hands as I stared at the picture beneath the caption. A lump rose in my throat.
SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLF
Under the words, there was a detailed drawing of a wolf in front of a fir tree, its head thrown back in the act of baying at the moon. It was a disconcerting picture; something about the wolfs plaintive posture made him look forlorn. Like he was howling in grief.
And then I was running to my truck, the flyers still locked in my grip.
Fifteen minutesthats all I had. But it should be long enough. It was only fifteen minutes to La Push, and surely I would cross the boundary line a few minutes before I hit the town.
My truck roared to life without any difficulty.
Alice couldnt have seen me doing this, because I hadnt been planning it. A snap decision, that was the key! And as long as I moved fast enough, I should be able to capitalize on it.
Id thrown the damp flyers in my haste and they were scattered in a bright mess across the passenger seata hundred bolded captions, a hundred dark howling wolves outlined against the yellow background.
I barreled down the wet highway, turning the windshield wipers on high and ignoring the groan of the ancient engine. Fifty-five was the most I could coax out of my truck, and I prayed it would be enough.
I had no clue where the boundary line was, but I began to feel safer as I passed the first houses outside La Push. This must be beyond where Alice was allowed to follow.
Id call her when I got to Angelas this afternoon, I reasoned, so that shed know I was fine. There was no reason for her to get worked up. She didnt need to be mad at meEdward would be angry enough for two when he got back.
My truck was positively wheezing by the time it grated to a stop in front of the familiar faded red house. The lump came back to my throat as I stared at the little place that had once been my refuge. It had been so long since Id been here.
Before I could cut the engine, Jacob was standing in the door, his face blank with shock.
In the sudden silence when the truck-roar died, I heard him gasp.
Bella?
Hey, Jake!
Bella! he yelled back, and the smile Id been waiting for stretched across his face like the sun breaking free of the clouds. His teeth gleamed bright against his russet skin. I cant believe it!
He ran to the truck and half-yanked me through the open door, and then we were both jumping up and down like kids.
How did you get here?
I snuck out!
Awesome!
Hey, Bella! Billy had rolled himself into the doorway to see what all the commotion was about.
Hey, Bil !
Just then my air choked offJacob grabbed me up in a bear hug too tight to breathe and swung me around in a circle.
Wow, its good to see you here!
Cant . . . breathe, I gasped.
He laughed and put me down.
Welcome back, Bella, he said, grinning. And the way he said the words made it sound like welcome home.
We started walking, too keyed up to sit still in the house. Jacob was practically bouncing as he moved, and I had to remind him a few times that my legs werent ten feet long.
As we walked, I felt myself settling into another version of myself, the self I had been with Jacob. A little younger, a little less responsible. Someone who might, on occasion, do something really stupid for no good reason.
Our exuberance lasted through the first few topics of conversation: how we were doing, what we were up to, how long I had, and what had brought me here. When I hesitantly told him about the wolf flyer, his bellowing laugh echoed back from the trees.
But then, as we ambled past the back of the store and shoved through the thick scrub that ringed the far edge of First Beach, we got to the hard parts. All too soon we had to talk about the reasons behind our long separation, and I watched as the face of my friend hardened into the bitter mask that was already too familiar.
So whats the story, anyway? Jacob asked me, kicking a piece of driftwood out of his way with too much force. It sailed over the sand and then clattered against the rocks. I mean, since the last time we . . . well, before, you know . . . He struggled for the words. He took a deep breath and tried again. What Im asking is . . . everything is just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for all of that?
I took a deep breath. There was nothing to forgive.
I wanted to skip past this part, the betrayals, the accusations, but I knew that we had to talk it through before wed be able to move on to anything else.
Jacobs face puckered up like hed just licked a lemon. I wish Sam had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A.
Nobodys on trial.
Maybe somebody should be.
Not even you would blame him for leaving, if you knew the reason why.
He glared at me for a few seconds. Okay, he challenged acidly. Amaze me.
His hostility was wearing on mechafing against the raw; it hurt to have him angry with me. It reminded me of the bleak afternoon, long ago, whenunder orders from Samhed told me we couldnt be friends. I took a second to compose myself.
Edward left me last fall because he didnt think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be healthier for me if he left.
Jacob did a double take. He had to scramble for a minute. Whatever hed been planning to say, it clearly no longer applied. I was glad he didnt know the catalyst behind Edwards decision. I could only imagine what hed think if he knew Jasper had tried to kill me.
He came back, though, didnt he? Jacob muttered. Too bad he cant stick to a decision.
If you remember, I went and got him.
Jacob stared at me for a moment, and then he backed off. His face relaxed, and his voice was calmer when he spoke.
Thats true. So I never did get the story. What happened?
I hesitated, biting my lip.
Is it a secret? His voice took on a taunting edge. Are you not allowed to tell me?
No, I snapped. Its just a really long story.
Jacob smiled, arrogant, and turned to walk up the beach, expecting me to follow.
It was no fun being with Jacob if he was going to act like this. I trailed behind him automatically, not sure if I shouldnt turn around and leave. I was going to have to face Alice, though, when I got home. . . . I supposed I wasnt in any rush.
Jacob walked to a huge, familiar piece of driftwoodan entire tree, roots and all, bleached white and beached deep in the sand; it was our tree, in a way.
Jacob sat down on the natural bench, and patted the space next to him.
I dont mind long stories. Is there any action?
I rolled my eyes as I sat next to him. Theres some action, I allowed.
It wouldnt be real horror without action.
Horror! I scoffed. Can you listen, or will you be interrupting me with rude comments about my friends?
He pretended to lock his lips and then threw the invisible key over his shoulder. I tried not to smile, and failed.
Ill have to start with the stuff you were already there for, I decided, working to organize the stories in my head before I began.
Jacob raised his hand.
Go ahead.
Thats good, he said. I didnt understand much that was going on at the time.
Yeah, well, it gets complicated, so pay attention. You know how Alice sees things?
I took his scowlthe wolves werent thrilled that the legends of vampires possessing supernatural gifts were truefor a yes, and proceeded with the account of my race through Italy to rescue Edward.
I kept it as succinct as possibleleaving out anything that wasnt essential. I tried to read Jacobs reactions, but his face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Edward plan to kill himself when hed heard that I was dead. Sometimes Jacob seemed so deep in thought, I wasnt sure if he was listening. He only interrupted one time.
The fortune-telling bloodsucker cant see us? he echoed, his face both fierce and gleeful. Seriously? Thats excellent!
I clenched my teeth together, and we sat in silence, his face expectant as he waited for me to continue. I glared at him until he realized his mistake.
Oops! he said. Sorry. He locked his lips again.
His response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. His teeth clenched together, goose bumps rose on his arms, and his nostrils flared. I didnt go into specifics, I just told him that Edward had talked us out of trouble, without revealing the promise wed had to make, or the visit we were anticipating. Jacob didnt need to have my nightmares.
Now you know the whole story, I concluded. So its your turn to talk. What happened while I was with my mom this weekend? I knew Jacob would give me more details than Edward had. He wasnt afraid of scaring me.
Jacob leaned forward, instantly animated. So Embry and Quil and I were running patrol on Saturday night, just routine stuff, when out of nowherebam! He threw his arms out, impersonating an explosion. There it isa fresh trail, not fifteen minutes old. Sam wanted us to wait for him, but I didnt know you were gone, and I didnt know if your bloodsuckers were keeping an eye on you or not. So we took off after her at full speed, but shed crossed the treaty line before we caught up. We spread out along the line, hoping shed cross back over. It was frustrating, let me tell you. He wagged his head and his hairgrowing out from the short crop hed adopted when hed joined the packflopped into his eyes. We ended up too far south. The Cullens chased her back to our side just a few miles north of us. Would have been the perfect ambush if wed known where to wait.
He shook his head, grimacing now. Thats when it got dicey. Sam and the others caught up to her before we did, but she was dancing right along the line, and the whole coven was right there on the other side. The big one, whats-his-name
Emmett.
Yeah, him. He made a lunge for her, but that redhead is fast! He flew right behind her and almost rammed into Paul. So, Paul . . . well, you know Paul.
Yeah.
Lost his focus. Cant say that I blame himthe big bloodsucker was right on top of him. He spranghey, dont give me that look. The vampire was on our land.
I tried to compose my face so that he would go on. My nails were digging into my palms with the stress of the story, even though I knew it had turned out fine.
Anyway, Paul missed, and the big one got back on his side. But by then the, er, well the, uh, blonde . . . Jacobs expression was a comical mix of disgust and unwilling admiration as he tried to come up with a word to describe Edwards sister.
Rosalie.
Whatever. She got real territorial, so Sam and I fell back to get Pauls flanks. Then their leader and the other blond male
Carlisle and Jasper.
He gave me an exasperated look. You know I dont really care. Anyway, so Carlisle spoke to Sam, trying to calm things down. Then it was weird, because everyone got really calm really fast. It was that other one you told me about, messing with our heads. But even though we knew what he was doing, we couldnt not be calm.
Yeah, I know how it feels.
Really annoying, thats how it feels. Only you cant be annoyed until afterwards. He shook his head angrily. So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victoria was the priority, and we started after her again. Carlisle gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then she hit the cliffs just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast for a few miles. She took off into the water again. The big one and the calm one wanted permission to cross the line to go after her, but of course we said no.
Good. I mean, you were being stupid, but Im glad. Emmetts never cautious enough. He could have gotten hurt.
Jacob snorted. So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven
No, I interrupted. Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details.
Huh, Jacob said under his breath, and he bent over to pick up a rock from among the millions of pebbles at our feet. With a casual flick, he sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the bay. Well, shell be back, I guess. Well get another shot at her.
I shuddered; of course she would be back. Would Edward really tell me next time? I wasnt sure. Id have to keep an eye on Alice, to look for the signs that the pattern was about to repeat. . . .
Jacob didnt seem to notice my reaction. He was staring across the waves with a thoughtful expression on his face, his broad lips pursed.
What are you thinking about? I asked after a long, quiet time.
Im thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought youd committed suicide, and how it all got out of control. . . . Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the blAlice wouldnt have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. Wed probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldnt be any vampires in Forks, and you and me . . . He trailed off, deep in thought.
It was disconcerting the way he said this, like it would be a good thing to have no vampires in Forks. My heart thumped unevenly at the emptiness of the picture he painted.
Edward would have come back anyway.
Are you sure about that? he asked, belligerent again as soon as I spoke Edwards name.
Being apart . . . It didnt work out so well for either of us.
He started to say something, something angry from his expression, but he stopped himself, took a breath, and began again.
Did you know Sam is mad at you?
Me? It took me a second. Oh. I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasnt here.