What? Fuck this noise. There is no way Gwen should have gotten away with it for so long. Shes an ugly bitch. Im sorry, Mal, but she is.
Tobias, please limit your use of the word fuck. Liesl sighed and looked around the table. Why you didnt tell me this, I do not know. Theres no way I would have had her in my home over the last few years if I had known.
Which is why they didnt tell you. Mal spoke and sounded so tired. Theyve been protecting me.
What is your version of what happened Saturday night?
I can tell you Gwens version. But I believe Daisy and Ravens version. Gwen says she wandered into the bathroom and was beset by both women. She was so upset I believed her. Even though in my heart I knew she was lying. Ive moved out.
Jesus, Mal why didnt you tell one of us? Where are you living? I have extra space. Youre welcome to stay as long as you like. Jonah felt sick for his brother.
Or with me. Daisy would be happy to have you with us, too. She doesnt blame you and neither do I.
Im looking for a house. Ive got an attorney. Were filing tomorrow or the next day.
Liesl leaned close to him. Darling, we love you. Im sorry you felt you had to do this alone. Please tell us what you need.
Well, that was pretty nice. He smiled at their mother and then around the table. I needed to do it on my own. I was licking my wounds. Ive known for a while that things werent going to get better.
How long?
About two years.
Jonah snorted. Theyd only been married two years as it was.
I shouldnt have married her. But I thought we could work it through. That once she got to know Daisy shed lighten up. But its more than that.
Shes got a thing for Levi.
Subtle, Eli. Well done. Levi sighed.
Well, am I lying? I mean come on. The way she is about Daisy is ridiculous. Its more than racism, though clearly thats part of it. Its that she would react that way to anyone with him. Its Levi, not who hes with. Its that Mal isnt Levi.
Sweet Christ. Levi looked to Mal. I hope you know Id never do anything to facilitate this crush, if there is indeed one.
There is one. Its more than that. Shes obsessed with you. She had an affair last year. The guy looked just like you.
There was an uproar around the table and Jonah rapped several times on the tabletop to shut everyone up. Okay, so were outraged. Lets not make it worse on Mal. Hes doing what is right.
Indeed. Thank heavens for the prenup.
Cal Whaley did a great job on it.
Honestly I just want to be free of her. She can keep the house. I have no desire to turn her out into the street or anything. Shes got a good job. We have no kids. It could be worse. So much worse.
Yes, well. Jonah agreed wholeheartedly.
What does she say? Have you told her?
We had a very big fight on the way home from the benefit. I moved out that night. She thinks Im working out my mad. My attorney advised me against telling her I was going to file. Shell be served at work and Ill have a moving crew go in and take my stuff at the same time. She can have the furnishings that arent Warner antiques. I just want what was mine when we got married. The rest is all hers anyway.
Well, theres some hope for you, darling. Levi and Jonah have done much better on their second choices. Just get this marriage dissolved and move on. Were behind you all the way.
17
The weeks passed as Seattle moved from the delightful color of early fall to the dreary gray of rainy and cold late November.
To Raven it used to be the time she hightailed it out of the Northwest and sought out Los Angeles or Hawaii. But she had roots now. Reasons to stick around. One of them currently looked through a book of birthday cakes Jules Lamprey, a friend of Gillians and a pretty wonderful baker, had brought over to Erins.
His fourth birthday was approaching and Erin was planning his party to coincide with Thanksgiving and their annual football grudge match thing that Raven made a point to miss every year. She usually made it a point to fly in after dinner and right before Alexanders birthday. Shed never miss that.
But now shed be coming over to Gillian and Adrians place to help with the food prep while they all played their football game outside. Because Erin had asked her to.
But for the time being, Alexander was trying to choose a cake.
I bet Jules could make a TARDIS cake.
His eyes widened and Jules laughed. I could. Ive never made a TARDIS cake, but it would be lots of fun.
Can I have a Dalek cake?
Raven looked it up quickly and turned her iPad to Jules. Just in case you didnt know.
Juless smile was one of those brilliant girl-next-door things that seemed to enrapture males of all ages. Birds sang and mice made clothes. Or something. She was pretty okay though, as people went.
Im a huge Doctor Who fan. I think a Dalek cake would be really awesome. I bet we could put mini doughnuts down the sides.
Raven nodded. Doughnuts on a cake? Alexander, I definitely think you should have a Dalek cake.
His eyes were so wide there wasnt much to do but lean down to kiss his forehead.
Yes, please. Doughnuts, Daleks and cake!
All right then. Im sort of excited about this one. Jules closed the book. I hear youre both coming out with us tomorrow night. I havent been out dancing in so long.
Jonah had actually craftily conned her into this group date thing. His daughter was coming back home for Thanksgiving and hed be busy with all that stuff so he wanted a fun-filled evening to tide him over. She assured him she wasnt upset that he wanted to spend time with his kid, for heavens sake. He then told her he wanted Raven and Carrie to meet while she was back in town.
No pressure.
When she opened her door at his knock he took a long, meandering look from the toes of her shoes up to her face. He paused at her nipples, of course.
You wearing it?
He meant the chain hed left in a box on her bed before hed left to go home several nights before. In it was also the dress she currently wore.
You spoil me. And she liked it. Shed never been spoiled before.
Listen, before we go, I want to talk to you about something.
Ugh, really? Am I going to want to punch you in the throat after you tell me?
He laughed and led her to the couch where he pulled her to sit with him. I hope not. But its been on my mind. Up front, Im telling you this not because I did anything wrong, but because if you heard about it from someone else you might get hurt and I cant have that. He brushed a fingertip over her heart, against the curve of her breast. His fingers sought the cool metal of the choker she always wore. For him.
You better tell me because now Im getting worried.
At the Halloween thing at Gillians, Levi asked me if I wanted him to do a background check on you.
Was that it? Shed frankly expected him to have done it already anyway. Oh. Well, what did you find out?
He shook his head. I said no. Or rather, look, as he was talking Erin overheard and she was really pissed off. She tore a strip off both of us. Her anger was righteous. She did it to defend you. And you deserved defending. But I was about to tell him no, thanks, when she came down and got in my face.
Erin hadnt said a word. Still, it made her smile to imagine what Erin had been like. Her usually laid-back and happy friend could really get scary when people she cared about got threatened.
I expect your brother was concerned about my lack of stability in the past. Hes just trying to protect you. Though if Erin got that mad he probably made a gold digger comment. Which would hurt her feelings considering shed never done anything like that, ever. She was used to being misjudged, but it still sucked.
Charlotte has treated me like an ATM these last years. Hell, pretty much since day one. She came from money so I figured she was used to a certain level of comfort and as her husband it was my job to provide it. And then when she had Carrie she used to use that to get more from me. A few thousand here to go on spa trips. Plastic surgery. New wardrobes. Whatever. Even after the divorce she was like that. Hes sensitive about it because he saw me get hurt by it. It doesnt excuse any hurt youd have felt if it had happened in your earshot, and believe me when I tell you that when Erin was finished defending you, Levi felt like complete and utter shit. He likes you. He was just trying to protect me. Anyway, Im not doing it and hes never asked again. I was going to let it be once I figured Erin hadnt told you, but I began to panic about how hurt you might be if you heard it from anyone else but me.
She shook her head. I dont even know what to do with you. I mean, the sex stuff, sure. But the heart stuff? I dont know how to manage it. If youd done the background check, you know you could have found out about whatever happened in my past. Youd have answers to your questions.
I want to find out from you. Your past, the things youve endured and survived, arent something I should hear from reports. Theyre yours. To go around you and find out when youve slowly been revealing yourself to me would be a rejection of what you mean to me. I admire you for how you survived. Its your story, you should tell it.
She looked up at the ceiling to hold back the tears, blinking quickly. I dont know how to do this stuff. Ive never been in a relationship before.
He took her hand, kissing her fingertips. Sure you have. Youre in a relationship with Erin, who is quite the defender, let me tell you. She loves you. Youre in a relationship with Alexander. Hell, and Poppy and Martine. Rennie, who stares at you like youre a disco ball or something equally shiny and miraculous.
Thats not what I mean.
I know. But you seem to think you cant do this simply because no one has really been worth it before. And Im telling you, you have made a commitment to people and youve done it successfully. And youve made one to me. And thats pretty damned successful too. I love you, Raven. You make my heart beat faster, even when youre being particularly vexing. I want to be worth it for you, the way you are for me.
She swallowed past a knot of emotion. You dont love me. You cant love me. Im a novelty, nothing more.
You really make me angry when you say stuff like that. Im not twenty, or a fucking cat. I can tell the difference between novelty and love. Ive loved you since the start.
Im sorry. Im not trying to hurt your feelings or offend you. But see how I am? I do it without even trying. I cant fit into your world of benefits and swanky dinners and people with names everyone knows. Im not that girl.
Youre my girl. Thats what counts. Cant you see that? I had a wife who looked good on my arm at parties and was nothing more. Youre so much more than that. Cant you see yourself? Hm? Youre here in Seattle for Erin and Brody. And Alexander. You do for other people all the time. They dont even need to ask, you just do it. Youre something so special.
And you.
He cocked his head.
Im in Seattle for you.
He smiled. Yeah?
She nodded, not knowing what else to say, so she just kept quiet.
He pulled her close, kissing her temple. Im sorry I didnt tell you sooner. About the whole background-check thing.
You didnt tell me to spare my feelings. I get it, Jonah. Youre rich. Good god, Id be such a liar if I pretended I didnt know that. Levi wanted to protect that, and given the women you all married, well, I get it. If you want to run a check, I wont be hurt. I dont have an arrest record. I have five figures in the bank. I own this condo and my car. Well, I pretty much own the condo; I only have a year of payments left. The point is, I dont have any real debt. Mainly because I didnt really stay in any place for very long to accrue it. I live simply except for my addiction to travel and panties. I do like nice underwear. Probably comes from wearing hand-me-downs and garage-sale stuff for most of my childhood. I dont want your money, but I love the presents you give me. Im with you because of who you are to me, not to everyone else.
You say you dont know how to do this, but youre doing just fine.
He was so glad hed told her. Hed been worrying over the last month about it. Vacillating between wanting to let it go and wanting to tell her so it wouldnt pop up to hurt her.
A weight was off his shoulders and after their conversation, she never ceased to touch and surprise him. Things felt good. Better than ever.
And now he watched her move. Goddamn. Theyd done a little dancing when hed taken her to the big band club the month before. But this . . .
A distinctly Latin remix played in the club and she switched her hips back and forth in time with the beat, her tits moving just right, enough to render him so hard it nearly hurt. Of course, knowing she wore the chain helped too.
He just stood there and let her make him look good. Hed confessed he wasnt much for club dancing and thats what shed told him.
She backed up to him, whipping her hair back. He slid his hands over her shoulders and then down to her hips. Her head was turned to the side, her gaze locked with his as she brushed that luscious ass against his cock and then dropped it low, stood, bent at the waist and pressed back as she slowly stood again when the song ended and something else came on.
Her hands went up and he held her waist as she stayed against him. This was his woman. Oh, he saw the glances. Saw that some of the people knew her. One or two of them actually got near enough for her to shake her head no and turn back to him. Far from feeling jealous, it made him hot all over. Others may have wanted her, but she was his. Totally and utterly.
That was fucking sexy.
Finally after a while she turned to him, encircling his neck with her arms. I need a drink. Im hot.
He bent to kiss her. You sure are. I think I can buy you a drink in thanks for all the entertainment your ass has given me all night long.
He walked in front of her, keeping her behind him, one arm reached back to keep her against him and to take the bulk of the crowd so she wouldnt get bumped.
What would you like? he asked when they finally reached the table where their group had set up.
A water and a cosmo. Please.
She scooted in next to Erin and he followed. The waitress caught his eye and came over. He indicated a reorder of what everyone already had at the table and got his and Ravens drinks.
It was loud, though thankfully not so thick with smoke he could barely breathe like it had been in his premarriage days. The lights flickered all around them as he took her hand. Levi and Daisy came over and sat with them as well.
It was good. He was too old to want to do this on a regular basis. But dancing with Raven when she was all sensual and moved the way she did? Well, that was totally worth the crowd and the noise.
They stayed for several more hours before making their way back to his place. She still slept in his guest room and that was . . . all right. He hoped that one day shed move to his bed. But he got it. And he would let her make those steps herself. He knew her well enough to understand just spending the night in his house was a big step for her. So hed continue to be patient because she was worth it.
She changed into the pajamas she seemed to own in every possible combination from sexy silky vixen stuff to what she wore then, flannel with her ever-present socks.
They snuggled in his living room listening to music and drinking tea.
Erin told me to invite you to pool and karaoke when Carrie goes back to Italy and youre free for social stuff again. They used to go once a week but now that everyone has babies they go once a month. Sometimes its at Adrian and Gillians place because they have a game room and a pretty nifty karaoke machine.
He hadnt really been part of a social group since hed been married. Most of them had been Charlottes friends and had chosen her after the divorce. He did hang out with his brothers, but now that he and Levi had girlfriends in the same circle he saw his brother more than he had in some time. He liked that too.
Sounds good. Listen, Erin invited me to Thanksgiving. I said no because theres a big thing at my parents place. My grandparents will be there. All my brothers and Carrie too. I know youre busy with dinner with them and with Alexanders party and stuff. But after. You know if you were done, I mean. We wont eat dinner until eight. I want you to meet Carrie. Ive told her about you so thats not a problem. She wants to meet you too. Daisy and Levi will be there, and you know Mal will be there, but not Gwen since theyve split and all.
I dont know. I barely want to go to Gillians for Thanksgiving. Im not really cut out for dinners with the family. You know? Its not . . . Im not good at it. Im going to say something offensive. And I dont want to put you in that position.
I think youre better at it than you let yourself believe.
She laughed. I nearly got into a fistfight with your brothers wife!
She deserved it. And she started it. My grandfather will tell you stories about Korea and my grandmother will drink wine and make my mother uncomfortable all day. Its really the only day of the year we get to see my mother on the other side of the way she often treats others.
Oh. Well, that is alluring.
Look, I know this is new. But I would like you to be with me. I havent had anyone at a holiday dinner with me since Charlotte.
So no pressure or anything,
He squeezed her hand. No pressure. I just want to be with you. Nothing more.
She sighed but he could tell she was seriously thinking it over.
You dont have to say yes for sure at this point.
Ill be there. Dinner at Gillian and Adrians will be at noon. Theyll do the cake for Alexander just after that. Erin is very low key for his birthday parties. Just family and cake.
No unicorns or anything? Gift bags with diamond rings and a pony?
She doesnt want to spoil him. Well, with material stuff. Theyre going to Disneyland in the spring with Brody and Elise and their kids.
I like that. Im the same way with Carrie. I mean, yes, shes studying abroad and stuff, but a lot of girls her age in her crowd got BMWs for their sixteenth birthdays. I just couldnt see that sort of extravagance. I got her a car, I cant lie. But it was used. Safe though, of course.
I wouldnt imagine anything else. So I should be done by five or so.
If you want to come to my house, you can ride over with me and Carrie. That way you can meet her before we get to my parents house. Might be a little easier that way.
She blew out a breath. Yeah, no pressure.
He tipped her chin. No pressure. Youre part of my life, I want them to know that. I want them to know you and for you to know them. People do this all the time. You can do this with one eye closed.
That might make it easier.
He grinned.
18
She pulled up in Jonahs driveway and tried to stay calm. Gillian had given her a pep talk. Erin had said everything would be fine. Daisy had said Carrie was a really nice young woman. Alexander had given her a hug and smeared frosting on her shirt, but the hug had been worth the price and she was going to change anyway.
She ran home to change, choosing the dress Gillian had given her just a week before. Shed said, when she handed it over, that shed seen it in a shop window and it had called out to be owned by Raven. Gillian wasnt a clotheshorse at all. She didnt love shopping the way Erin did. So Raven had taken it as a great compliment. And when shed put the dress on shed agreed it was something perfect for her.
That and shed known Gillian knew how nervous Raven had been about this dinner and wanted her to be at least a little more comfortable. Gillian, an outsider as well, in her own way, got that about Raven better than most anyone.
It had a boatneck; the top piece sort of looked as if it were a separate thing, falling to her hips. Then a skirt with two color blocks, falling to just above her knees. The top part was purple, the middle block was a sandy beige and the bottom was two or so shades lighter. It was something shed never have chosen on her own. But it made her feel beautiful. And that was a lot.
Neutral-toned heels completed the look. Shed kept her hair down but pulled back from her face with a band. A cardigan would keep her warm and also hide her ink. She wasnt ashamed of it or anything, but there was no use showing it off the first time she met most of his family.
She got out and headed to the front door and knocked. He answered with a smile. Youre here. He kissed her, turning to put an arm around her shoulder and guide her into the house. I like that dress.
Gillian gave it to me a week ago. Everyone says hello. Daisy and Levi said theyd see you later tonight.
A lovely young woman came downstairs.
She looked Raven over and then smiled. Youre Raven. She held her hand out. Im Carrie. My dad talks about you all the time.
Raven shook her hand. Does he? He talks about you all the time too. You make him very proud. Shed practiced that one a few times. She meant it so she hoped it sounded genuine.
She had great teeth. Holy cow, that smile was big and bright. Her hair was long. Dark like her fathers. The cut was perfection. It fell around her face just right, emphasizing her eyes, more green than brown. This girls mother must have been stunning. Correct, must be stunning. Raven tried not to think about Charlotte, but damn, if this child was any reflection on her, Raven was going to develop an even bigger complex.
My dad showed me the tattoo youre doing on his back. Its amazing. I said I was going to ask you to do one for me.
Raven laughed as she allowed herself to imagine Jonahs look of horror when his kid sprung that on him. Im going to guess he gave you a lecture about how you should be older before you made such a permanent choice for yourself and your skin.
Jonah made a little sound and suddenly Raven was all right. His kid was all right. She could have been snooty and spoiled, but she wasnt.
Thats pretty much exactly what he said. So I told him Id catch you in the summer before I went off to college. Ill be eighteen then.
Raven put her hands up in surrender. I tend to agree with the being-older-and-really-think-hard-about-how-youre-permanently-changing-your-skin viewpoint. Plus, Im afraid he might send your grandmother to rough me up if I did that without his okay.
Carries eyes widened, lit with amusement. I heard you met her. Shes something else, isnt she? She is a good person most of the time. Shes really old school and sometimes she forgets her manners.
I just figured she was bossy and powerful and liked it that way. Oh, for gods sake, did she say that out loud? She winced, but Jonah just squeezed her shoulders.
That too. Are we ready?
I have something to take along with me. Jules, shes a pretty talented pastry chef. She makes these cherry walnut things. I brought some. Dont worry, Gillian put them on some fancy plate she said would be a nice gift. And in case someone was allergic to nuts, I have an apple cranberry tart too.
Well get them on the way out. Oh, you left your coat here. Its in the hall closet. Carrie, get the stuff you brought back for your grandparents.
Carrie ran upstairs and Raven turned to him. I didnt leave my coat here. She gave him a raised brow. Maybe one of your other girlfriends did.
I know. I didnt want you to be uncomfortable. I bought you one.
You did what? I dont need a coat. I have a parka thing I got when I agreed to go snowboarding a few years back.
Yes, you do. Your parka thing is too heavy and not pretty for events like this. Plus that sweater you have on is lovely, but not warm enough.
Its not fur, is it? Because I dont wear fur.
He fought a smile, turning to pull the coat from the closet. He was charming. Far too charming for her peace of mind because she had trouble saying no to the man. This was nothing shed encountered before. She loved saying no. It was a favorite. But not with this guy.
Not fur. Cashmere.
It was a simple but beautiful black coat, and when she put it on, she nearly moaned. Hed clearly thought about what shed like and what would look good on her. Another reason she was helpless against him. He gave presents, yes, but he put effort into everything he surprised her with. The material was soft and very warm, the hem had movementshe thought they called it a swing coat. Daisy would know that sort of thing.
Thank you. Its gorgeous.
Any time. I dont like to see you shiver.
I usually go south or west in the late fall and winter. I hate the heat, but I really love to be somewhere balmy and sunny when its cold here.
Well go to Maui soon.
Dude. You spoil me. The coat is plenty.
He kissed her temple. Its my job to spoil you. Anyway, you like to travel and I like the idea of you in a bikini. Thats a win/win for me. Now, come on. Time to have dinner at the Warner household.
She sucked in a breath and staved off the panic. If you say so.
She had an idea the Warner house would be pretty swank. But what greeted her when they got to the end of the drive was of course swank, but also understated and elegant. Sort of a Cape Cod, maybe? She didnt really know what the real name for it was, but this seemed to be a more historic part of Seattle so several in this style had dotted their way here, though other big, clearly newer modern homes had been erected in the place of the older house that came with the lot.
The front of the house had a smallish yard, but it was well manicured with big trees dotting the area.
Other cars were already there. Plenty of BMWs and Mercedes. She saw the truck though, but pressed her lips together hard to keep from commenting.
Uncle Toby is here already. Carrie, who insisted on riding in the back rather than Raven, whod wanted to. Shed said Raven was her dads girlfriend and could ride in the front. Jonah had sealed it when he put an arm around Ravens waist and opened the door for his daughter to slide into the back. Raven had given him a look but he smiled and kissed her nose.
Carrie had chattered on as theyd made their way the short distance to the neighborhood where Jonahs parents lived. Raven had asked many questions and Carrie had answered with the openness only kids who were as happy and well loved as this one had. She appeared to be thrilled with the program, with the choice of college shed made, with Italy and the other parts of Europe shed seen. She was well spoken, intelligent and gracious.
Jonah had done a good job with her.
Toby is an architect. His is the truck. Hes got a really nice car too, but he drives this one here to agitate my grandmother. Carrie shook her head, grinning as they headed for the front door.
I think Im going to like Toby, she muttered, and Jonah barked a laugh.
You will. Everyone does.
Jonah carried flowers for his mother and grandmother, Carrie helped Raven, holding the apple cranberry tart, and Raven had the plate with the cherry things. She was so nervous she was afraid shed break the plate she held on so tightly to. So she concentrated on not squeezing so tight and that seemed to make things a tiny bit better.
An older man who was so clearly Jonahs father answered, his gaze going straight to Carrie. Hello, sweetheart.