Grandfather. Carrie went to him, giving him a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
Glad youre here. Come in, come in. He looked to Jonah and then Raven. Youre Raven. He kept an arm around Carrie, but held a free hand to Raven. Im John Warner, Jonahs father. Welcome.
He was much less frosty than his wife, Raven gave him that. She smiled and shook his hand.
Jonah steered her into the house. The outside may have been understated, but the inside was punctuated by the wall of glass overlooking Lake Washington. Views to the Eastside were clear, even on a cloudy day. There was a dock with a boat and the back lawn sloped down to the water with little clusters of tables and chairs.
Wow.
John smiled at her again. We looked at houses for six months. Liesl is very particular, and to top it off, she was pregnant with Jonah so the hormones and the nesting thing only accentuated that. Must have seen three dozen homes. But when we walked in and stood here, looking out at that view, she simply turned to me and said, This is the one, John. And that was it. Weve lived here ever since. Raised five boys and its still standing, so thats a testament to the architecture of the late twenties when it was originally built.
For heavens sake! Dont just leave them standing in the hallway. They still have coats on and are holding things.
This is my mother, Beth. Mom, this is Jonahs lady friend, Raven. John indicated Raven, and the older woman, who was maybe five feet tall, gave her an imperious look from head to toe.
I see where Jonah gets it, Raven said.
Whoops, starting early on the offensive stuff. Go me.
Raven held her hand out, hoping to get past the statement. Beth took it and shook.
Gets what?
Jonah didnt say a single thing, the jerk.
Oh well, in for a penny. She could have said good looks, but he didnt much resemble his grandmother at all.
The imperious-look thing. He does it too.
John tried not to laugh, and barely succeeded. His eyes lit with amusement and Carrie didnt bother hiding it; she laughed full out.
He really does.
Beth narrowed her eyes long enough that Raven started to apologize, and then longer so she didnt because what the hell, it wasnt that offensive after all.
Instead Beth nodded. He does. I got it from my mother. Its a good tool when youre a bigshot like he is. Me? It keeps everyone on their toes because theyre scared of me. What is it youve got in your hands?
Walnut cherry bars. Oh, and an apple cranberry tart.
Bring them through to the kitchen. John, get the flowers. Jonah, for goodness sake, get their coats.
The kitchen was nice, but it was also clear actual cooking happened there. Smelled good too.
Liesl came out and smiled at the sight of her granddaughter. Hello, darling.
Carrie hugged her. Hey, Grandmother.
Still smiling, Liesl looked to Raven. Hello, Raven. Im pleased you were able to come today.
It was a genuine statement. Liesl was cool, like pale blue, and white carpets. But she clearly loved her family, and that made her all right in Ravens book.
Thank you for inviting me.
Oh, you brought dessert. She cast an eye at the food, but must have found it acceptable. We have pies and things, but thank you.
Also, she had very few filters. Raven knew it was sort of rude, but she suffered the same problem, and so on some levels she wasnt bothered, though she knew it was sort of a slap. But it was pretty halfhearted, so she must have liked Raven well enough or thered have been more said.
I, for one, always appreciate more dessert. Another clearly Warner son came into the kitchen wearing a smile that looked a great deal like Jonahs. Youre Raven and Im Toby. Nice to meet you at last. Ive been hearing a lot about you. He stuck a hand out and she took it.
You can all leave the kitchen. Youre underfoot.
Dont mind her, Toby said of his mother, she has trouble speaking her mind. Its very sad.
Carrie laughed and hugged her uncle, who kissed the top of her head and set her back from him, assessing her. Christ, kid, you have to stop being so beautiful. Jonahs uptight enough, hes going to have a stroke when the boys come around.
Carrie blushed and Toby tipped his chin in Jonahs direction. Were watching the game in the other room. Eli just finished making up a few batches of sidecars if youre parched. Soda for you, missy.
The living room was just beyond and also had a fabulous view of the water, along with comfortable couches and a large television some football game or other played on. She wasnt a football person, though most everyone else she knew was.
Carrie went in and her uncles all cheered to see her, standing up to give her hugs and exclaim over how lovely she looked and how amazing her grades had been.
Raven hung back at the entry and Jonah turned to her. You all right? I know its overwhelming. Im sorry about the weirdness over what you brought. I promise you she was happy you did. Shed have thought you rude if you hadnt. She likes a no-win. He shrugged.
Its fine. Ive got it. With your mother, I mean. Ill give her leeway. If she takes too much, Ill let her know in a hopefully appropriate manner.
He grinned. Youre so sexy. He said it so that no one could hear and it warmed her insides that hed see what most thought of as her biggest flaw as being sexy.
Still, should I offer to help your mother in the kitchen?
Jonah shook his head. She and my grandmother are in there, battling with cutting words and stuff. I dont want you anywhere near that.
Seems to me your dad should step in and take her side.
He does when my grandmother goes too far. Its good for my mother to get a little of what she dishes out so regularly.
Raven shrugged. Or maybe shes that way regularly because her mother-in-law is a mean-spirited harpy.
He laughed then and people looked over.
Guys, this is Raven. He then indicated the men in the room. Raven, you know Levi and Daisy and you met Toby in the kitchen. The guy with his arm around Carrie is Eli, hes Tobys fraternal twin. And you, um, know Mal.
Sort of. Hed been too busy essentially calling her a lying whore at the time to really be formally introduced. Raven was proud shed kept that last bit in her head.
Yeah, about that. Im sorry. My manners were atrocious. He stepped forward and held a hand out. Im Malachi. Jonah talks of you often. Im pleased to meet you and I apologize for what went down last month.
Apology accepted. Was she supposed to apologize for his divorce? Congratulate him? She had no idea so she just kept quiet.
And the guy in the recliner over there is my grandfather. His name is also John, but everyone calls him Jack.
She nodded, waving. He grinned and waved back. Come over here, girl. Jonah, get her a drink. Carrie, come give me a kiss.
Raven did as hed asked. He patted the couch next to the recliner. Sit here. Those pretty shoes have to hurt and I figure you need a drink after meeting my wife and seeing Liesl too.
She tried not to smile, but it was impossible.
Im old, he said jovially. It means I get to say whatever I like and people chalk it up to that. I figure it makes up for actually being old, which is a bucket of garbage. Nose hairs. Thats what will happen to Jonah when hes my age.
Jonah handed her a drink and sat next to her on the couch. Thanks, Grandpa Jack.
Girl should know what shes getting into with this family. Shes already met your mother and grandmother and shes still here. I figure some nose hairs are the least of it.
Raven smiled brightly at Jonah, who rolled his eyes.
She took a sip and tried not to cough. What on earth is this?
Eli grinned. That, gorgeous, is a sidecar. Cognac, Cointreau, some lemon juice, sugar and a cherry.
Her eyes watered. Its, um, hearty.
Youve met everyone, right? Tell me after two of these if things dont get just a little easier.
She laughed then. Two? Im sort of a lightweight. Lets see if I can finish this one.
It was a nice afternoon, and yes, it certainly seemed easier after shed finished the first drink. Jonah sat with his arm around her shoulders, laughing and talking easily with his brothers. Daisy seemed to get along with them too. But really it was pretty much impossible not to like Daisy, whod cleverly avoided the sidecars.
Time to eat. Beth came in and everyone got up immediately. Mal discreetly helped his grandfather up from the recliner and they all made their way to the dining room.
I changed the cards earlier to put you at our end of the table, Daisy said in an undertone.
But thats Liesls end.
Dude, its not Beths end. Please trust me on this.
Jonah pulled her chair out and she sat. Grace was said and the food began to make its way around the table. There was no shortage of it, that was for sure. A turkey, a ham and a beef tenderloin, three different kinds of potatoes, creamed spinach, corn, sweet potatoes, bread. It was a huge feast.
I cant see why we needed the beef. But I hope you all like it. Beth sent a look to Liesl, who took a deep breath. Raven pushed her wineglass toward Liesl.
Its quite delicious. Levi smiled at his mother.
Tenderloin is my favorite. She makes it for me every year, John lifted his glass in his wifes direction.
Therell be leftovers. She makes too much every year so she has to send food home with everyone.
Jeez. Who thought that was a bad thing? Turkey sandwiches the next day was like part of the whole thing. Hell, Raven hadnt even grown up with regular Thanksgiving dinners and she knew that.
Everyone talked around it and soon enough it died down, but it agitated Raven because it wasnt something without filters, it was meant to make Liesl feel bad.
Oh man, I think I have a mashed potato baby. She rubbed her belly as she said it in an undertone to Jonah, who laughed.
Of course Beth had to speak up. What was that? Its rude to speak in whispers.
She blinked several times and Jonah put a hand on hers, which enabled her to keep her comments on the non-napalm side of the spectrum.
I wasnt aware I was whispering. Raven smiled and went back to eating.
Well, you were.
Good god, this old woman was a sharp-tongued bitch. It was admirable to a point.
Jonah reached for his glass and raised it. To mother and grandmother for all this delicious food.
Everyone raised their glasses for the toast.
I did most of it. Liesls strong point isnt cooking.
Raven leaned closer to Liesl once the conversation had started again. Wow, so heres the thing. I was sort of annoyed at you for the dessert comment you made, but now that I see what you have to deal with Im giving you a pass. Feel free to insult my cherry walnut bars to your hearts content. That offer is only open for today.
Liesl laughed, nearly choking.
More whispering?
Raven smiled sweetly. Dont worry, its all about you.
The entire table got very quiet until Liesl just kept laughing.
Beths eyes widened and then Jack started to chuckle. Shes got your number, duckie. Jonah, your lady will fit in here just fine.
Jonah took her hand, kissing it. Yes, I agree.
The rest of the dinner was fine. The ease of conversation returned. Dessert was really good and served with hot coffee and brandy, though she skipped the latter.
But she was really ready to go by eleven when Jonah finally signaled it. Everyone shook her hand. His brothers all kissed her cheek. His grandfather, whod told her some awesome stories about Korea, had taken her hands and told her it had been his pleasure to meet her. Even Beth deigned to kiss her cheek and say it had been nice to meet her and seemed pretty genuine about it. The woman had been a little nicer since dinner, not totally of coursethered been a few remarks, but they hadnt been as cutting.
Liesl took her aside as they were preparing to leave. No one has ever taken her on like that for me. John defends me of course, but over the years its become an elaborate game.
Jeez. Id suggest you try Monopoly or backgammon or something. Pick-your-family-apart seems like a sucky game to me.
Liesl jerked just a little. Charlotte never would have said anything like that.
Yeah, well, aside from Carrie, I cant see much good in anything that money-grubbing skank has done, so forgive me if I decline to aspire to her level of behavior. My flaws are legion, but Im not like her, nor do I ever plan to be. I cant see the point in sitting around a table and cutting people apart. Unless I was a surgeon or something.
As it happens, I agree with you when it comes to Charlotte. Honesty is refreshing. I appreciate it. I do hope you come back to dinner soon.
Raven lifted a brow and Liesl laughed. Jonah saw it and hurried to get free of his grandparents to make his way over.
Hes worried Im being mean to you.
I can handle you. I like your son a great deal. I respect his life and his need to lead it however he feels necessary. But I dont think its a game to hurt people. Its tiring enough to have to keep from blurting out everything I think. I dont want to combine that with a meal. I like food too much to ruin it with this sort of thing. Im not good at it.
Yes, I do believe you can handle me. How about if I promise to not make a game out of insulting you? Will you come to a Sunday dinner here next month? My son is in love with you. Hes satisfied with his life since you came into it. Its been rough for him since that bitch ran off. Youre not the running-off type of bitch.
No. A different kind of bitch though.
Liesl nodded, satisfied. Yes, but thats all right. Youll be in good company.
Ill work out schedules with Jonah about dinner. She knew he wanted it and that meant a lot, even if Liesl hadnt just sort of gone out of her way to give her the seal of approval.
Everything all right here? Jonah eased up, putting an arm around Ravens shoulders.
Yes, darling. I was just inviting Raven to Sunday dinner next month.
He gave a sideways glance to Raven, who nodded.
He kissed his mothers cheek and Carrie caught up with them, her coat in hand. Ill see you tomorrow, Grandmother.
All right, darling. Sleep well.
Raven could dig a lady who got softhearted for her grandkid.
19
So how did it go? At Jonahs place, I mean. Brody worked, chatting to her as was their usual rhythm.
Most of it was fine. His kid is pretty awesome. I liked his brothers and his father and grandfather. But there were aspects of the evening that were like fucking Thunderdome. His mother and grandmother were all artfully cutting at each other. Mainly the grandmother. That part was not fun. But Liesl, the mother? She invited me to Sunday dinner, which I take it is the seal of approval. I may have to have a drink before I go over there. The stress of keeping my mouth shut probably takes years off my life.
Brody laughed. You really dig this guy. I like it on you.
Hes not like anything Ive ever experienced before. She paused. Which sounds weird talking to you, but you have that with Elise so I figure you get what I mean.
I do. So hes decent? I mean, he seems to make you happy. Seems to treat you well. Adrian even commented on that.
She sent a raised brow to him at that comment. Really? Many years before, Adrian had seen her with another man at a club in Los Angeles. Shed been with Brody then. And though shed always been up front with Brody about the fact that she wasnt monogamous, Adrian had hated her pretty much ever since. Shed never lied, but that hadnt mattered to Adrian, who loved his siblings fiercely.
What happened, what he saw, well, that was between you and me. And he gets it. Hes protective of me. But he sees what youre like with Gillian. And with Poppy too. Hes mellowing as he ages.
Hm.
Raven?
She looked up from her client at Maggies hail of her name. Maggie stood at the front counter where she usually dealt with walk-ins and clients.
Raven stood, knocking the stool back and nearly losing her balance at the sight of the man standing there. It had been nearly twenty years since the last time she saw Mike Thompson, and he looked pretty much the same as he had then.
Brody was at her side immediately. Two other people were also working in the shop and theyd stood as well, looking back and forth between Raven and the man at the door.
Mr. Thompson? What . . . Why are you here? Sick dread filled her as the memories nearly suffocated.
Raven? Are you all right? Brody stood between her and Mike.
He . . . Thats . . . Im . . . I dont know.
Brody examined her face. Sweetheart, do I need to call the cops? Do I need to beat this guys ass? Whats happening? Youre scaring the hell out of me.
I know Raven from Happy Bend.
Well, I know enough to understand thats not a good thing, Brody called back over his shoulder.
Its fine. No. It wasnt fine. But she didnt want to get the guy beaten up by three burly tattoo artists. And Maggie held the phone in her hand like she was about to swing it into Mikes face.
She pulled herself together. It was in the past. She had a future. She wasnt going to let this harm her.
She managed to walk to the front counter as everyone got back to work, though they all kept an eye on the situation. That made her feel better. Brody was at her back, refusing to leave. That made her feel better too.
Im sorry, I didnt mean to make a scene. Mike licked his lips nervously. He had gray in his hair and in his beard. A bit of belly, though he would have been sixty or so by now, so she figured that was normal.
Why are you here?
Is there somewhere we can talk in private?
Why are you here? Raven repeated.
Its about your mother.
She physically recoiled, moving back a step and hitting Brody. He took her shoulder in his hand, reassuring.
Why dont you use my office? He spoke softly.
She nodded. I need to finish my client.
Arvin, whod just cashed out his latest client, paused. Its a simple one, right? I can finish it for you if your client is okay with it.
Thanks. Mr. Thompson, I can talk to you in Brodys office. Come on back.
Her legs worked, which sort of surprised her.
Brody paused at the door, after shed waved Mike to sit. You want some company? Who is that?
My foster father. One of them. Shed never told anyone the whole story of just who he was and she wasnt going to do it then either. Ill be okay. She touched his arm. Thank you.
Bang on the wall if you need me. Or call out. Im just right here.
She nodded and turned, closing the door.
She walked to the desk and sat behind it. The familiar furniture, the pictures of Brodys women, Marti and Rennie, Elise, joined with others of Erin and Adrian. The room smelled like him. His jacket hung on a peg in the corner. This was her turf. It was her turf and it was nearly twenty years after her dealings with the Thompsons.
Ive upset you. Seems Ive done enough of that and Im truly sorry. He spread his hands out, letting them drop to his lap.
You said you were here about my mother? She turned her emotions off. She had to or shed suffocate.
About ten years ago I went to therapy. After we lost Missy . . . after Bonnie and I split and you . . .
Were dumped back on the state, she supplied.
He winced but it didnt make her feel better.
Yes, after we failed you. Anyway, I spent a lot of years in the bottom of a bottle. I lost one job after the next. I hit rock bottom and then Bonnie came to see me in jail. I finally got some help. Therapy. It was either that or lose everything. Bonnie and I had been talking again. I wanted her back, you see, and she said she wouldnt consider it until we got counseling. So I went. She went. We both had it. I worked through stuff and faced the grief. Not just over Missy, but how wed abandoned you like all the others had.
She had her hands folded in her lap, her nails digging into her palms as she struggled to hold it together and keep a straight face.
If youre here for old home week, Mr. Thompson, Im sorry to disappoint you. I got over Happy Bend a long time ago.
He simply went on. Bonnie and I, we started looking for you. To reconnect and see if we could make amends. Your kin, they werent much help. But we kept our ears open. Last year, one of Bonnies patients was a retired police officer who did private investigation as a hobby. We asked him to see if he could track you down. He eventually found you; we figured out youd changed your name. But first, well . . . we found your momma.
Her grave? Though shed known her mother had died of an overdose, no one had known where her grave was. She had no plans to go leave flowers either.
Raven, your mother isnt dead. Shes in a mental institution where shes been for the last eighteen years. Before that shed been in another institution in Louisiana.
Icy cold washed over her. Youre telling me my mother isnt dead?
Im telling you your mother is alive. Shes . . . well, shes not in the best shape, but shes alive. In her lucid times, they told her . . . well, they did to her what they did to you I guess. She thought you were dead. They used the news about Missy His mouth wobbled a moment and then forged ahead. They told her youd been murdered. For the last nearly twenty years she thought you were dead. She tried to kill herself after that. Thats when they moved her to a different institution in Oklahoma City. She didnt abandon you, darlin. She had a psychotic break. Apparently shes had mental problems most of her life. Shes been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Its resistant to most treatment. Shes a threat to herself more than anyone else.
Who is they? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Who told her I was dead?
Your aunt. She wouldnt speak to us when we went to see her. We tried many times. We tried to talk to cousins and they wouldnt say much. One of them asked us for money to tell us and sent us on a wild-goose chase. He didnt know, not really.
You saw her? My mother?
He nodded. She knows youre alive. We told her we were trying to find you. I promised her when we did, Id tell you about her. Raven, I know we did you wrong. It tears me and Bonnie up to know how wrong we did you.
Your daughter was murdered. You had enough to deal with. Intellectually she understood it. Believed it. But her heart had broken just the same. Shed lost everything. For a time shed had everything shed ever wanted. A family at last. Her own room. A sister. Safety and stability.
She was kidnapped, raped, tortured and murdered. Its taken me years of therapy to be able to say that out loud. But we fell apart and we tossed you back like you were an animal we took to the pound. We took a horrible moment in our lives and we betrayed you. We made a promise to you. We made you believe we were making a home for you and we didnt. I will regret that for the rest of my days. We loved you, Raven. Bonnie and me. Missy too. You were meant to be our daughter and we failed you as surely as we failed Missy. We want you to know about your momma because well be damned if we fail you again.
For so long she had wanted them to seek her out. To know that what theyd done to her had devastated her entire life. Shed felt selfish even thinking it. Missy had died. And Raven hadnt. Things had been bad, yes, but she was sitting there and Missy wasnt.
Worse, this business with her mother was beyond confusing. Why would they have told her she was dead? Shed been all alone all these years in an institution and no one ever told her?
Everything shed ever believed about her life crashed down around her ears. She hadnt been tossed away by her junkie mother. Her mother hadnt been able to take care of her. Worse, her family knew and didnt tell her.
Why would they do that to me? I dont understand. And then it fell away. All the energy shed put into holding back her emotions simply wasnt there anymore. There was nothing left but her emotions.
She started to cry, putting her head down on the desk. The sounds she made came from someplace so deep inside she didnt know how to stop. The door slammed open and Brody bellowed at Mike to step back from where hed moved to comfort her.
No. Dont. She held a hand out.
Brody stared at her, never having seen her fall apart. He moved to the desk, picking her up and sitting, holding her in his lap, rocking her back and forth as she wept.
Everyone get back to work.
Should I call someone? Maggie asked from the doorway.
Erin.
She shook her head no, but Brody just grumbled and held on, rubbing a hand back and forth on her back.
Erin rushed in just a few seconds later. That day was one she staffed the café in the mornings. Whats going on? Oh! Whats wrong? Who is this guy? What did you do to her?
Raven lifted her head. Its not him.
Erin came to her knees in front of where Brody had been holding her. She put her arms around Raven and held on tight. What can I do? Tell me and Ill make it happen. Do you want me to call Jonah?
I need a plane ticket to Oklahoma City.
Ill go with you, Raven. Bonnie and I will be with you, right at your side. If you want us. Mike spoke from where hed sat, watching helplessly on the other side of the desk.
Youre not going anywhere until you tell us whats going on. Erin handed her a wad of tissues.
My mother is alive and in a mental institution. Shes not dead. They lied to me.
Oh my god.
Hed left several messages and she hadnt called back. Hed stopped by her building but she wasnt there. For the last several days hed tried. Theyd both been busy. Shed been pulling long days at the shop and hed been working and spending time with Carrie before shed had to go back to school.
But his general annoyance that they hadnt connected had shifted to discomfort. Something was wrong.
He dropped Carrie at the airport and headed to Written On The Body to see what was up.
But it wasnt open yet so he went into the café. Erin wasnt there. But he knew where she lived, having gone there a time or two with Raven, so he headed there. If all else failed, hed go to Bainbridge and to Gillian.
But he didnt have to. Erin told the doorman to send him up and she met him at the door with a concerned look on her face.
Where is she?
Come in. Im going to have a cup of coffee. Want one?
The place was quiet.
Alexander is in preschool for a few hours today. Thats why its so quiet. Odd. I guess youd know that too.
Carrie is always running up and down the stairs, on the phone, listening to music or watching television. Its unnatural when shes gone.
He took the proffered cup of coffee.
Youre here about Raven. I knew youd come.
What is going on? Im really alarmed now.
Ive thought about what Id say. I bounced ideas off Brody. Off Todd and Ben. You love her. She deserves that love and I know shes told you some of her past, which says so much more about how she feels about you than you probably understand.
He blew out a breath. Its hard enough to hear. I cant imagine having to live through it. Shes gone for something to do with that? Why didnt she tell me?