Couldnt be bothered. We should go.
You keep saying that. I want to know more.
Fuck off! She wrenched herself back, eyes flashing. Im not a reality television show. Im not your dancing monkey.
I never said you were. People share, thats how they build relationships. I dont want to hurt you. I just want to know you.
She hated how he stood there so fucking calm after hed rooted through her memories that way. Hated too that the way hed touched her had calmed her, how hard shed had to fight the desire to lean in and take comfort.
So lets get to know you then.
Go on. Ask. Ive answered all the questions youve asked.
She blew out a breath and tried to go back into her place but he stood there looking so reasonable she wanted to kick him in the balls.
Look, I said I wouldnt fuck anyone else while I was with you. But that doesnt mean you get a full pass into my life. Into my memories. It sucked. Growing up the way I did sucked. It was horrible and I dont want to talk about it for a reason. You didnt grow up like that so I get how its a story to you, but it happened to me. It happened to me and Im not giving it to you on demand.
He moved to her slowly, but he kept moving until hed gathered her up against his chest, holding her tight.
Im sorry.
She hated how he got to her. Hated how easy it was for him to waltz in and get past all the walls shed built to defend herself.
We should end this. Youre looking for something I cant give you.
He snorted. Be quiet. Lets go look at leaves. Bring your sketchbook. Ill buy you a glass of wine and lunch and make you come a few times before we go to dinner.
He turned and did that thing with her hand on his arm, leading her inside.
Of course he had a car that looked like a panther. Sleek. Powerful. Tinted windows. He escorted her to it and opened her door. When he closed it to go around to his side, all sound from outside was gone.
The seats were soft leather and it smelled a lot like he did. It wasnt necessary but she put her sunglasses on anyway, trying to find some way to filter him out.
I like the sunglasses.
Of course he managed to sound suggestive. He drove calmly, but in charge. Easing into traffic like no one better get in his way. And really they didnt.
Are you warm enough?
Despite it being late October, it felt a lot more like November. But shed worn a sweater and brought her jacket and gloves.
Soon enough though, her seat got warm.
Jeez, are these heated seats? She tried not to sound like shed just eaten an entire bowl of ice cream, but it made her languid. Spoiled like a cat.
I like luxuries. We established that. So when can I get the next piece done on my back?
I like to wait at least two weeks between sessions. Ill look at it the next time were naked to see how its coming along. But I want it healed before I do the next part.
I like how you made that fun.
She rolled her eyes, relaxing a little when she realized he wasnt going to push about her past.
Thats me. More fun than a barrel of monkeys. Though, to be honest the idea of a barrel of monkeys doesnt sound fun to me. It sounds like thered be fleas and bites and shit involved.
I do think Raven fun is better than that, yes.
Who even thinks that stuff up? Monkeys in a barrel?
She noted that his mouth quivered as he tried not to smile. It was a seriously sexy mouth.
Who knows, darlin. Maybe someone without any idea of what fun is?
Probably. Anyway, two weeks. Maybe three, depending on how you heal. Though I doubt your immune system would have the audacity to take more than two weeks.
He chuckled. And what exactly do you mean by that?
You know what I mean by that. Im sure your immune system is just as stubborn as the rest of you is.
I come by it honestly, Im told. My mother is just as bad.
She snorted. Shed heard.
I figured wed head up around Snoqualmie. I saw a lot last year when Carrie and I went up. Work for you?
Im just along for the ride. I wore shoes I could hike in, just in case.
Hm, a hike. After I wake up in a warm cabin and have hot sex with a willing woman covered in ink. But just as a general rule? Not gonna make you hike without telling you up front.
Good to know. I dont camp much. I like hot showers too much to really get into it. Erin did con me into going to the Sleeping Lady a few years back. Weve gone several more times. If it comes with a spa and gourmet food as well as some pretty swank accommodations, I can swing that.
I lived in the dorms my first year of college. I hated the communal showers. I hated wearing flip-flops.
Imagining him in cheap flip-flops did a good job eroding her annoyance. You lived in the dorms?
Dont mock. My parents thought it would be a good experience. I met a shitload of girls. Lots of furtive, very quick fuck sessions before roommates came home. That was the good part. I got an apartment my second year when I worked at the firm part time.
I bet you met a lot of girls. I cant even imagine the Jonah in his early twenties. Though, I do admit to the fairly overwhelming appeal of the Jonah in his forties. I like a man who knows what hes about.
Good to know. I was more reckless then.
Who isnt when theyre twenty?
I bet you werent.
Im reckless now, Jonah. As for when I was twenty? I was in my own way. I was trying to figure out everything. Trying to raise myself, I suppose.
Trying to survive?
By the time I was twenty or so I knew Id be all right. I had some skills that I could pay the rent with. I realized how much I loved to travel around that time, too.
Do you ever go back? To Happy Bend, I mean.
I went back once. For my great-grandmothers funeral.
How old were you then?
She licked her lips, trying to ignore the pain in her chest. Twenty-three.
Do you still have family there?
I imagine so. I dont have much contact with any of them. I hear from an aunt from time to time.
They never took you in?
Erin had urged her to share more with people and she was usually right. So shed give it a shot.
Sometimes. They were dirt poor, most of them. The aunt I have contact with sometimes, she and my mother are sisters. Were sisters. Whatever. Anyway, shes been plagued with health problems and a variety of addictions. Like the rest. Alcoholics and crazy people. She came from such fine stock.
I lived with her on and off until I was six. She went to jail a few times. Had to move from one run-down, piece-of-shit place to another.
She shrugged but he took her hand, saying nothing.
Dont. She pulled her hand back.
Dont what?
Pity me. I dont need your pity. Its why she hated talking about any of it.
I dont pity you. I care about you. I can hear the pain in your voice. I offered comfort. It doesnt make you weak to take it.
This is all easy for you to say. Academic even.
Is that what it is? Only people whove suffered like you can understand what it means?
Dont be an asshole.
You already told me I was one. Dont be a bitch.
I already told you I was one as well.
That must be why we work.
She crossed her arms over her chest, staring out the window.
Are you going to close off?
Back. Off.
No.
She whipped her head to get a good look at this man shed been so silly to think she could be with. Pushy!
Just take me home.
You agreed to come spend the day with me.
Thats before you started being all pushy and nosy.
I was born pushy and nosy. Ask anyone. You knew that when you got in the car with me. You knew that when you opened your door to me this morning.
Look, this is . . . Were just having some fun. Youre making it more than it is.
It was his turn to snort. Bullshit. Evasion is one thing. Lying is a whole different thing and, frankly, beneath you. This is far more than just some fun and you know it. If it was just fun youd have told me to fuck off when I demanded your monogamy.
I should have.
But you didnt. Because you know its more than just fun. Its more and you cant deny it. I wont let you.
Why?
Because I like you. Youre nothing like anyone Ive ever known before and that appeals to me a great deal.
Oh, so Im your walk on the wild side then?
Fuck you. Fuck you, Raven, for thinking you can use that to keep me out.
The slice of anger in his tone didnt scare her. Well, it did, but not for her physical safety. Just her everything. It should have made her feel better, but instead, she knew it had been a tactical error. He wasnt going to be scared off. He was too damned stubborn for that.
And maybe thats why shed done it. To test him. But he wasnt a boy to play with. He was a man. A man who knew what he wanted.
I have a life. Everything is in order. I like my schedule and how I live. And you come in and in less than a month youre turning shit upside down and demanding I . . .
Share? Tell me about your life? How dare I? Is it that you think Id judge you? That you dont think you can trust me to keep your confidences?
Look, sometimes you say things and you cant unsay them. You cant unknow them.
But you already know them. They happened to you. The anger was gone and his calm was back, laced with a kind of gentleness that tore at her.
Living them was enough. Ive spent most of my life trying to forget! She slammed her fist into her thigh so hard she knew shed have a bruise.
Baby, maybe you shouldnt. Maybe you should get it all out and slay those demons.
The endearment nearly pushed her to frustrated tears.
Which is so easy for you to say! You grew up with a family. You grew up knowing exactly where youd sleep every single night. I bet your parents tucked you in. I didnt even know that was a reality until I was fifteen years old.
It is easy for me to say. Certainly easier than for you. And yes, sometimes we got tucked in. Enough that I knew how important it was to tuck my own child in every night. What happened? When you were fifteen, I mean?
No. Thats not open for discussion.
He froze. Someone hurt you.
Lots of someones hurt me, Jonah. Dont try to avenge me now. Im past it.
No, you arent. Or you could talk about it.
Have you ever stopped to think, just once, that people dont like to discuss unpleasant things?
Sure. But this is more than that. What happened to your mother?
She blew out a breath. She was a drug addict. She had me, dumped me on my grandmother, who was just as much of a mess as my mother was. So I got dumped on her mother.
So you never saw her? In your childhood?
A few times. Shed come to town, promise me she was better. She stayed with my great-grandmother too. Once she even rented us a house and had a job.
Tears threatened and she clamped her lips tight, willing them back. Pushing the humiliation, the shame and disappointment as far away as she could.
He must have sensed it because he backed off. For a few minutes anyway.
Whats your favorite food?
Pot roast.
Really?
Yes, really. Why do you sound so surprised? Am I not allowed to like pot roast?
No. He laughed. God, youre so fucking defensive about everything.
And yet you cant get enough.
He took her hand, pulling when she tried to snatch it back. He kissed her knuckles. This is so goddamned true you have no idea. For what its worth, I like pot roast too. With roasted potatoes.
Hm.
That sound manages to be dismissive, annoyed, sexy and funny all at once. I even hear it when Im not with you.
Part of my many charms.
Theyre legion. My favorite food is tacos.
Really?
Now its my turn to ask why you sound so surprised.
You seem like a well-aged-steak-and-scotch sort of dude.
No denying the appeal of a good steak and some scotch. But tacos are something I can make. Theyre portable. Most places manage to do them well if theyre on the menu.
The next time you go to L.A. I can tell you a few places I love.
You seem pretty fond of Los Angeles. Why did you come up here then?
Brody.
Really?
Yes, really. At first anyway. I met him in L.A. through a mutual friend who does tattoos. I liked him immediately. I mean, whats not to like? Anyway, then I met Erin and she and I hit it off. She lived in L.A. too. But I came up here a lot to see Brody. He took me under his wing, taught me a whole lot. I started working at his shop. Filling in here and there. He never tried to make me into something I wasnt. He let me come and go.
Plus, its cool here. And green and clean. Far, far from Happy Bend. I still go to Los Angeles at least once a year. But I suppose Ive ended up calling Seattle my home. As much as I have a home anyway.
What went wrong with Brody?
Hes a good man. In the end he wanted something I couldnt give. I told him that but he . . . I guess he expected better of me and I disappointed him. Hurt him. And then we were on and off. Truly, better as friends than we were as lovers. Elise came into the picture. God, I hated her at first. Well, thats not entirely accurate. I didnt really mind her at first. But once I saw he was really into her, that the thing between them was way more than just a flirtation, then I hated her.
Why?
Raven laughed. Have you seen Elise? Shes gorgeous. Shes perfect. A wonderful mother. She wasisgood to Brody. Shes what he needed in a way that I never had been. She paused and then just said it. Erin adores her. Adrian thought she was perfect. And my place there, I was
Worried youd lose them.
It had taken a few weeks of some hard-core, unflinching introspection to get there. But shed always credit Elise for it. Yes. I was a bitch to Brody, tested his loyalty. She put me in my place one day. But it was that she was also kind to me even as she told me she would fight for him. She knew why. It . . . Anyway, I left town a while. Got my shit together, and when I came back, it was with my head on straight. I didnt want Brody that way. Hes my friend and I wanted him happy. It took a while for me to get on the right track with Elise, but were good now.
Youre probably one of the most well-adjusted adults Ive ever known.
She burst out laughing. Well, youre a lawyer, so that explains a lot.
It takes guts to be truly introspective. To look at your actions and take responsibility for them. You own what you are, though you see yourself as more of a villain than you are. Theres an emotional maturity there. He shrugged.
I grew up around people who never took responsibility for anything. Ever. I vowed to not be like that. Sometimes I succeed.
I think you should take a shower with me. He waggled his brows at her. Theyd come back to his place after their day trip so he could shower and change for dinner.
Hm.
There you go with that sound again.
Im beginning to think you want to agitate me. Its like foreplay.
Everything about you is foreplay, Raven. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?
Hm.
So? Your clothes are here. Hed convinced her to stop off at her place first to grab a change of clothes so they could leave directly from his place. But really it was that he wanted to watch her get ready.
Let me look at your bathroom first.
He pushed open the doors, gesturing her inside. When theyd been here before shed used the one downstairs. Still a nice bathroom, but this one. Well, he was proud of this bathroom.
Holy cow. She turned in a slow circle once shed gone inside.
I like a long shower.
I should say so.
His shower stall was quite large with benches on both sides and six showerheads. The bathtub was a modernized version of a clawfoot, only far larger and deeper.
This is awesome. You can shower with me but only if you let me have some alone time with this place.
Should I be jealous of my bathroom?
She turned to him. Yes. You really should.
She undressed and he leaned back against the counter to watch her fold each piece of clothing carefully. He was emotionally raw after their discussion on the way up. Shed revealed a side of herself that had brought all his protective instincts to the fore.
Shed been routinely neglected by the very people who should have protected her. That made him insanely angry. And he only knew a small bit of it. He understood that she had revealed a lot to him, but it was just the tip of the story. Just the outline.
He wanted to gather her up and hold her until hed made it better. But he couldnt. He couldnt slay her dragons. Not for what shed survived.
Hed gone and fallen in love with her. He hadnt meant to. God knew she was complicated and it hadnt been that long that theyd been together. But he knew what he knew. Shed come into his life for a reason and this was it. She was meant to be his.
She got into his shower and bent to fiddle with the settings. He quickly disrobed to join her, sliding his body against hers.
Back off. Im not done yet.
He should have known she was a superhot-shower type. Hed thought himself a lover of hot showers until her settings had nearly scalded his top two layers of skin off.
Jesus!
There are three shower heads right there. All for you.
I thought you werent supposed to use really hot water on a tattoo.
You arent. But Im a rebel. She leaned back, groaning as the water rushed over her and he simply watched as the water cascaded over her curves.
Ill get your hair.
He looked at her shampoo. I thought I scented coconut.
I get it in Hawaii. I love the way it smells.
Clearly she didnt skimp on her cosmetics.
He poured it into his palm and then braved the water to slowly lather her up. She stretched against him like a cat. He massaged her scalp and she rewarded him with a soft sigh that shot straight to his cock.
He started to soap her body up but she smirked, stealing her washcloth back. Ill never get out of here if I let you wash my body.
Who says I want you out of here?
She rolled her eyes but kept her distance. Let me do this and Ill get your hair. I can stand on the bench thing to reach.
Fine. But Im fucking you when we get back tonight.
You can drop me at my place before you come back here. Not that Im ruling out fucking.
Why wont you spend the night?
I dont spend the night. We already had this discussion. She soaped up and he watched, his mouth watering as she ran her slick hands and the washcloth all over her skin. It was then he noted the scars.
He took her hand, turning her wrist to see her inner arm more clearly. You did this?
She looked up into his face with no shame. Its been a long time. But the roses and thorns remind me that once upon a time I hurt myself to feel anything at all.
He sighed, pulling her close as the water came down all around them.
Baby, you wreck me. You turn me inside out. I want to help but I dont know how.
Its long past. I dont cut myself anymore. I dont hurt myself, though I let hot older men tie me up and slap my ass because it makes me wet. But I dont need to punish myself for other peoples sins. You dont need to fix me.
She held his heart in those soapy hands and she had no idea. She was like those roses climbing up her inner arms. Beautiful and strong. Slightly dangerous.
She was the most amazing thing hed ever seen.
10
She unlocked her door and he came in with her, wearing a hungry expression.
Five seconds after shed locked the door behind them shed found herself picked up as he walked them over to her bed. The rain had started, the sheets of water pelting her windows, soothing.
But there was nothing soothing about this man who unbuttoned the bodice of her dress so nimbly. He uncovered her skin like hed found treasure. It . . . touched her. As much as she tried to keep it to just sex in her head, it was more. She knew it and couldnt hide from it anymore.
He kissed her chest, above her heart and she cradled his head to her body. Tenderness rushed through her system, making the way for the desire that barreled through right after.
He licked up her neck, suckling on her earlobe.
I want you.
She shivered at this declaration hed whispered.
Take me, then.
I plan on it.
He hauled her upright. I dont want to rip this dress you look so damned delicious in, and I will if I try to get you out of it. Take it off.
She got to her knees and pulled it over her head, tossing it to a nearby chair.
On her knees, she watched him, waiting for whatever he wanted next. Something about that had settled into her system. Letting go of the control eased her, unknotted her muscles.
Youre amazing.
He pulled his shirt off before stepping from his shoes, shorts and socks. Naked he was breathtaking. The ambient light from the street outside only highlighted the masculine power of his muscles. His cock, so hard, tapped his belly.
I want that. She indicated his cock.
He laughed and she shivered. He had a way of laughing when he meant to tease her. So much promise there.
Youll get it. Hands behind your back. Clasped. Thats how I want you every time were like this. Unless I tell you otherwise.
She swallowed past a very dry mouth, complying with his request. Ha, request. His order.
Her back was arched and she knew she got to him. Knew her beauty appealed. It filled her with power, the allure she held. Just the way he looked at her made her feel beautiful. Incomparable.
He moved to her like a predator. Her nipples hardened impossibly.
She watched as he took each one between thumb and forefinger. Pinching. Tugging.
Her breath gusted from her lips as pleasure ripped through her belly.
He stepped away and she couldnt stop the sound of disappointment that bubbled up from her belly.
Im coming back. He rustled through the bag hed brought up from the car, turning as he held a small box. I have something for you.
She kept still long enough that he understood. You can move to take the box and open it.
Inside lay two new hoops for her nipples and a long silver chain.
I saw these in a movie once. Id like you to wear the chain. Between your nipples and then to your clit when Im not with you.
This was more than not fucking other people. This was a stamp on her in a way shed never allowed. The appeal of it set her heart thundering.
She nodded slowly.
Put the new hoops in.
She pulled the bars from her nipples and replaced them with the pretty silver hoops hed presented her with.
Then he wove the chain through the hoops, tugging and bringing a gasp from her. Sensation, quicksilver, flitted through her like lightning.
He petted down her belly and thighs, easing them wider. His fingertips brushed her clit and she moaned at how good it felt.
I think Im doing this right.
She agreed when the cool of the chain slid against her cunt and then through the ring hed exchanged for her old one.
They told me the chain goes best with the rings I gave you. I like you like this, but I dont want to harm you. Does it feel all right?
He stood, straightening as his gaze slid over her skin like a caress.
Y-yes.
More than all right.
Youre so ridiculously beautiful.
She smiled past the lump in her throat, luxuriating in the feel of the chain against her flesh.
I have little weights too. Well deal with those next time. For now you look like the best present I ever received and Im going to fuck the hell out of you.
All right. She put her hands back into position and watched his pupils swallow a bit more of his irises.
He blew out a breath and stepped closer again.
He fisted his cock over and over as he watched her. She couldnt tear her eyes from the way he touched himself. So sure and unashamed.
But she wanted to be touching him. So much that she ached from it.
Please.
He paused. Please what, darlin?
Please let me do that. Please touch me. Please fuck me. Whatever. Just please. Shed never in her entire life begged a man or a woman to give her something sexual.
He moved to her, reaching out to caress a hand over her hair, stopping to tip her chin up so he could brush his lips over her mouth. So pretty. How can I turn down a request from such a beautiful woman?
He straightened, sliding the head of his cock against her mouth. The salt of him awakened her senses and she had to clasp her hands tighter to keep from reaching out. He hadnt told her she could.
She swirled her tongue around the head, smearing that pre-come as she did. He grunted when she took him into her mouth totally, sucking him back as far as she could without losing her balance or doing something undignified like gagging.
He fucked into her mouth slow and easy for some time. Long enough that the rhythm of it lulled her senses.
Jonah watched her as he clenched his jaw to keep control. He wanted to spin her around and thrust his cock into that sweet, juicy pussy. But this was too good to stop. Her compliance, the way she was with her hands clasped, wearing the hoops hed given her in her nipples and clitoral hood, the chain against the pale cream of her skin, he wasnt ready to let that go just yet.
Yes, yes, like that.
Shed had her hair up for their dinner out but when theyd danced it had come loose a little, sending tendrils around her face and at the back of her neck. He pulled the pins out, letting it all free, so cool and soft against his hands and wrists. Thick and dark.
He held her head, cradled it between his palms as he began to fuck her face. To press his cock deep and pull back, watching the slick, dark stalk of his cock, the swell of her lips. The sound was enough, wet around her moans and hums of pleasure.
She got off on this as much as he did. Thank God.
Finally he couldnt hold it back any longer so he pulled out, letting go. Thats enough for now. I want you on your back. Hands above your head. Spread your thighs.
She complied, moving slow. Her expression was dreamy, in direct contrast with the swollen, dark nipples.
Her scent hung in the air, beating at him.
You smell good enough to eat.
He grabbed her ankles, pushing her feet back and her knees up, keeping her open to his gaze and his mouth. She was dark and wet, swollen.
There was no more waiting. He had to take her.
He took a long lick, tugging on the ring with his teeth. She shivered and then moaned.
Youre so juicy. Do you like this, hmm?
God, yes!
He smiled before he went back to work. Licking, sucking, loving every dip and fold. Her pussy was as delicious as it was sensitive. He knew she wasnt far from climax. Felt the tremble in the muscles of her thighs as he sucked her clit slowly and slid two fingers up into her cunt.
He picked up his pace, flicking his tongue against her clit relentlessly, keeping the pressure even until she breathed out his name and came against his lips, her hips rocking to take what she wanted from him.