After shed stopped trembling, he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh.
Hands and knees. I want to fuck you from behind.
Hed put a condom near when hed brought the nipple jewelry over, so he got it on quickly as she moved into position. Her back was gorgeous this way, her hair over her face. Hed let her hide for the time being so they could both keep their bearings.
He wanted to roll around in her scent. His hands smelled like her skin. Like coconut and sex and whatever it was that made up Raven.
He aligned his cock and slid deep in one hard thrust and she groaned so deep in her gut he felt the vibrations of it to his balls.
He grabbed her hips and began. Slowly but surely, stroking into her deeply. Over and over as he drove himself up, back toward the climax shed nearly toppled him into just minutes before.
The muscles and curve of her hips played against his palms as he held on.
Being with her was totally natural and yet utterly unreal all at the same time. She was so much more than hed bargained for. Everything.
He pressed in one last time with a snarl as he let himself fall into climax before toppling to the bed, holding her close as he came.
He slid onto a barstool next to his brother.
I ordered you a scotch.
Jonah tipped his chin. I knew there was a reason I kept you around. I havent eaten yet; you have time for a bite? He really wanted to bounce some stuff off Levi, who in addition to being his brother, happened to also be his best friend. He knew anything he said would be kept in confidence.
Daisys got some shindig with Delicious so I would just be eating leftovers of some sort anyway. They have a decent bar menu here.
They did, and he and his brother ordered food and headed to a booth when one opened up.
The server was giving you the eye. Levi lifted his glass. Still got it, even for an old guy.
I fucked her once. Right after the divorce.
Levi snorted. Damn.
It was all right. She made a lot of noise, but I dont think she really meant it.
Maybe you need me to show you where everything is?
Jonah snorted. I know where everything is. I never felt compelled to call her again. Because as Raven points out, Im an asshole. He laughed.
She said that?
As it happens, she was making a very good point. He explained it to Levi, who shrugged and nodded.
Shes pretty smart. But sort of . . . wild. You having a midlife crisis or something?
Fuck off. Youre shacked up with a girl nearly half your age.
Dude, theres a lot to be said for midlife crises. Mine came with a hot artist with tits that defy gravity. Whats not to like? I have all my hair and Im in love.
A crisis implies theres something wrong you need to make up for. This isnt a crisis. Its the opposite. I feel totally clear for the first time since Carrie was born. Im head over my ass in love.
Love? Jonah, youve been seeing her what? A month?
Not quite. But Im not a teenager. Ive been to the rodeo, so to speak. I know what infatuation is. I know what lust is. Lust was me fucking the server over there. This woman gets to me. Not because shes gorgeous, though certainly thats a bonus. Not because shes insightful and intelligent, talented, artistic. Not just because she makes me feel like no one ever has in bed. Theres a connection with her that Ive never, ever had before. I click with her. She . . . I dont know how to put it into words that do it justice, Levi. But she makes me feel. She makes me work harder than I ever have with a woman. Goddamn, shes defensive. Bitchy. Sharp and prickly. But so vulnerable. Fragile. The sum of her is irresistible.
So youre going to save her? Is that it? Be the guy whos done what no one else has?
First of all, Dr. Phil, I already have done what no one else has. I listen to her. I accept her. But I dont take her shit. And I dont let her push me away. Im not with her because Im some fuck-drunk frat boy who has a hard-on for ink and piercings. Shes something else. More than I ever thought Id find in a partner. Shes a grown-up. She listens to me. She sees things in a way most never will. I dont need to save her. Shes a woman whos done plenty of her own saving. Shes endured a lot. He sipped his drink.
Im just saying it seems sudden. Youre not a sudden type of guy.
Isnt love really about someone being something no one else has been? Isnt that what you have with Daisy? What you didnt with Kelsey? What I never did with Charlotte? Isnt it about that connection that clicks and settles down all that noise in your head? She excites me. She challenges me. Im on fire when Im with her. Not just the sex, though, wow. Shes that part inside I never knew Id been missing. But now that Ive found her, I dont know what Id do without her.
Levi dug into the sandwich hed ordered. Wow. Well, congratulations then. For what its worth, I like her. Though shes prickly, no doubt about it.
Now I just have to convince her Im in it for the long haul. A lot of people have failed her in her life. Jonah paused, wiping his mouth. This is going to make us both uncomfortable, but here goes. Youre into the D/s stuff right? I mean, weve skirted around it . . .
Levi nodded. It wasnt something I was really able to get into with Kelsey. I dabbled before Daisy. But she, Daisy, I mean, she justit works with her. You and Raven? Levi ate a while as he thought. Id be careful around any possible stuff that might bring up her abuse. Im assuming shes got some in her background and thats what you were referring to.
I dont want to say too much about that. Shes given me her confidence and I cant betray it. But it hasnt been an issue. Her sexuality is strong. Shes vibrant. She knows what she wants and I have zero doubt that if she didnt want it, shed let me know. This isnt therapy for her. Or me for that matter. She needs . . . a strong hand. She needs to let go of all her control.
So youre going to take her in hand?
Not in a paternalistic sense. Like I said, shes a grown-ass woman. But all her bullshit notions about what a relationship is, what it means to be with someone, they need to be broken apart. She submits, holy shit, she gives over and its like everything just feels perfect. I need to break down her defenses, so she knows she can count on me.
That makes sense. Bind her perhaps?
I cant believe were having this discussion. Jonah snorted, taking a few hearty gulps of his scotch.
Ha. You started it.
Im going to collar her.
Levi sat back. Really? I cant imagine shed go for that.
Not to own her. But I think she needs that underline on my commitment. Its a declaration from me, a tangible one. I think she needs to be peeled open, layer after layer, and since we really click sexually, I think thats our key.
Levi nodded. I can see that. But Id be sure my first-aid kit was stocked. Just in case she sees it differently.
Jonah snorted. Shes dangerous enough to kick my ass if I push too hard.
Hot though. Daisy undoes me when shes like that. So, when are you seeing her again?
Shes coming over next week to do some more on my back. But Im trying to get her to agree to be my date for the museum benefit this weekend. You and Daisy will be there, right?
Yes. Levi gave him a look. You sure about that?
Why?
Dont give me that face. Mother is going to be there. Have you told her about Raven yet?
Im a forty-two-year-old man. I dont run my romantic life past my mother. Anyway, she and I are having lunch before the board meeting on Thursday so I was planning on it then. He shrugged. I mean to make Raven part of my life. Im telling Carrie about her this week. I wanted to do it face-to-face, but shes getting ready to go to Paris with her friends and I wanted her to know before I took her around anywhere shed come into contact with Mother.
How do you think Carrie is going to react?
If she isnt happy for me, I raised her wrong.
True. Its not like youve been bringing all manner of random chick around since you and Charlotte split. Mother, on the other hand . . .
Whatever.
You know Ive got your back. You kicked my ass when I messed things up with Daisy. We want you to be happy like we are. And in case youre wondering, those are her words. Im more prone to bad words and threats to keep you in line.
Jonah grinned at his brother. Hopefully itll be all right.
Raven lay on her belly, dancing a plastic horse around as Alexander made growling sounds with his.
Dude, horses dont growl. Ben grinned at his son.
Mine do. Alexander nodded once and went back to growling and prancing.
Raven tried not to laugh.
Good thing you came over. Brody and Elise will be here in a few minutes with Marti and Rennie.
Alexander clapped. Yay! Pizza!
I was thinking tacos.
Alexander got serious for a moment and then nodded. Kay.
Want some help?
Youre not going to try to beg off?
Youd only guilt me into staying. I havent seen the girls in a few weeks, anyway.
Erin liked the change in her friend. It had been a very long time coming. But Raven seemed comfortable with Elise at long last. And maybe even herself.
Ben, you need to take over horse duty. Raven handed the plastic horse to him and he settled in with Alexander.
They went into the kitchen and washed up. So? Erin began to pull ingredients from the fridge.
Things are good.
I didnt even have to poke at you for ten minutes to get you to tell me. Must be good.
Raven looked up from where shed started cleaning the produce. It is. They are. Whatever.
You two have spent a lot of time together lately.
We have. We spent pretty much the entire day together on Monday. Went up to Snoqualmie to look at the leaves. Walked a lot. Hes a hand holder. Opens doors. Pulls my chair out. He glowers at people if they dont move out of my way when were on the sidewalk.
Erin loved that about her men. Loved the way they always made her feel protected. Cherished.
Its not that I cant do it for myself. But he likes to and I let him. He sort of gets that Im letting him. Hes nice to me. Though, hes so pushy. Always wants to know about my childhood and stuff.
Erin stilled a moment and then kept moving. And?
I told him some. He saw the scars. I told him about that. He knows I was in foster care. Not all of it, Raven added quickly. I dont want his pity. I dont know if I could stand it. If he pitied me, I mean.
Sometimes, just saying it out loud lifts the weight. Erin knew about this personally. Knew what it felt like to hold all that pain inside until shed finally shared it with Todd and then Ben. Knew that it had brought them all closer to have shared her grief.
Knew too that Jonah Warner would keep pushing Raven to share and that hopefully, if Raven didnt balk and run off, she might have found a person worthy of her confidences.
Raven lifted a shoulder. Its hard to say it out loud sometimes.
I know. But its not you. You did nothing wrong.
Academic.
Erin knew about guilt over things that werent her fault too.
Sometimes you should listen to your head as well as your gut.
Im trying. He wants to stay over. God.
Erin snorted as she began to shred cheese. I imagine hes not one to take no for an answer.
No.
Why dont you just tell him?
Tell him what? I dont need therapy, Erin, so dont start on me with your freaking psychological mumbo jumbo about why I like to sleep alone.
Alexander has slept over.
Raven smiled, softening. For her baby. Love swamped Erin just then. Raven would take a bullet for Alexander. She loved that boy and he loved his auntie right back.
Hes my best guy. Clearly the rules can be broken for him.
Im just saying, rules were meant to be broken. Especially when they exist to bandage some long-ago trauma that may need a little sunlight and fresh air.
Raven grunted and went back to work.
Brody came over before Erin could do much more nosing around. Marti, Brody and Elises toddler, came into the kitchen at a full run, her arms open. When she saw Raven as well as Erin her face lit even more. She squealed with total joy as Raven stepped to her and swung her up into a hug.
Martine, my love. I think youre a foot taller now.
Marti threw chubby arms around Ravens neck.
Rennie came into the room and it struck Erin that her niece was nearly a teenager. In just a few months shed be thirteen. But she had her mothers beauty. Pale hair, big blue eyes. A dancers long, lean body.
Why hello, Rennie. Erin hugged her.
Hey, Aunt Erin. She grinned. Thanks for the awesome paints. Im working on something now. You know, to thank you.
Elise came in, smiling at the sight of her daughters with Raven and Erin.
I want to see too. Raven handed Marti to Erin and then tipped her chin to Rennie, who still looked at her like she was the most awesome fireworks show ever.
My art?
Yeah. Your dad showed me some the last time I saw him. Hes got like forty pictures of it on his phone. But thats not the same as in real life.
Rennie blushed and then bent when Alexander came in, patting her thigh. Yo, Nee!
Hey, Alexander. She knelt to hug him and he handed her a horse.
Come play.
Rennie waved at them and followed Alexander out.
Shes a great kid, Erin said before turning her attention back to Marti, kissing those chubby toddler cheeks. Wheres Brody?
Jeez. Raven went back to work. Hello, Elise. How are you? Sorry about Erins manners. You know how she gets when shes got a baby in her arms.
Elise laughed and Marti did too. Down, please.
Erin kissed her one last time and put her down. With one wave over her shoulder, she headed toward where Alexander and Rennie were playing with Ben.
Hes on his way up. Hes bringing the pies and some other stuff. He and Todd met in the lobby and there was secret stuff happening.
Halloween stuff most likely. Youre coming, right? Erin turned to Raven.
Uh.
Miles and his band are playing. Theres going to be a little Halloween parade thing.
Raven groaned. Miles doesnt need me there.
Pfft. Alexander does. And Marti. And Rennie. And of course, me. Plus, Gillian and Elise and Brody.
You already used that one for Thanksgiving.
Its all-purpose.
Youre coming to Thanksgiving? Elises bright smile was genuine and Raven relaxed.
Yes.
Thats wonderful. Im glad youll be in town this year.
Im planning on bugging her relentlessly until she agrees to make cinnamon rolls. Erin flashed a grin and Raven groaned.
One of the only happy memories Raven had from her childhood was of her great-grandmother teaching her to make cinnamon rolls. She was too old to do much more than sit in the kitchen and tell Raven what to do. But on those rare visits once shed gotten a little older, Eula Maes kitchen would be filled with scents that still made Raven smile to that day.
Maybe. If you ask nicely.
I should ask Jonah too. Erin fluttered her lashes.
His daughter is coming home for it. Shes in Europe on some study-abroad deal. Im guessing therell be some big dinner at the manse with Ma and Pa Kettle.
Elise laughed. The stories Ive heard about his mother scare me. But she seems to like Daisy so she cant be all bad.
In any case, hell be otherwise engaged.
You can go over there. Ill give you a day pass for that.
I am still vexed I allowed you to guilt me into Thanksgiving day with you. Im sure as hell not going over there. Plus, were not at the meet-the-parents stage. Were just dating. Or whatever.
Hed want to spend time with Carrie and there was no way Raven would get between them. The girl needed her dad and she had no doubts how much Jonah adored his daughter.
Elise sent Erin a look and Raven kept her head down, biting her tongue. See? She was learning.
11
Raven looked at her phone and saw Jonahs number. Smiling, she answered. Yes?
Thats what I like to hear. Just yes. All the time. No matter what I ask.
It does me no good to encourage you in any way.
Oh, but it does. His voice went all low and silky and she shivered. I remember you encouraging me just fine the other night.
To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?
She sat on her small deck, the rain falling, though she was dry beneath the overhang.
What are you doing right now?
Im sitting on my deck, drinking a beer, wrapped in a blanket, listening to music.
Damn, that sounds pretty nice. Wish I was there with you but instead Im going into yet another meeting shortly. What are you doing Saturday night?
Nothing yet. Shed been invited to dinner with some friends visiting from out of town, but anything hed be offering would be better. She was officially at the stage where she turned down things with friends to be with a guy.
Man.
Good. Come out with me. Be my date to a benefit. Well dress up, drink champagne, eat appetizers, and afterward Ill take you to sushi.
Um.
Too late. You already agreed.
Um is not agreement. What benefit is this?
Its a museum benefit. Daisy will be there. Levi too.
Im not really benefit date material, Jonah.
Bullshit. Youre beautiful. I know you can dress up. Dont forget I saw you all fancified Monday night. You dont pick your nose or spit on the floor. You are indeed benefit date material.
Against her better judgment she accepted it in her head. But that didnt mean she wasnt going to drill him for more information and make him work for it. Is it like formal?
I sent you something. Id bring it myself but I have a meeting in a few minutes and then tomorrow Ill be slammed all day and into the evening. Itll arrive at the shop since I didnt want it sitting around on your doorstep all day.
What did you do?
Has anyone ever told you youre a very suspicious woman? Its a dress. I saw it and I wanted to see you in it. Wear it for me and Ill show you why doing what I tell you to is always in your best interests.
I dont know, Jonah. Im not much for society stuff.
I know you like art. I know you like me. I know you like doing some good. I already bought the tickets. I already have a driver. I already bought the dress. Oh, and some shoes. Itll be fun.
You have a strange idea of fun.
I want you there with me. This is important to me.
She sighed. All right.
She knew he was grinning, though she couldnt see his face. Ill pick you up at seven. Well get drinks first with Levi and Daisy.
Okay.
See how easy that was?
Hm.
You know what that sound does to me. He paused a moment. You doing okay? I miss you.
You just saw me on Monday.
But that was three days ago.
She smiled, flattered. Yes, well. Im good. Busy. Worked ten hours today so my back is killing me and my wrist is messed up. You all right?
Better now. Im talking to Carrie later on tonight. I like to catch her first thing in the morning, before her classes start. Shes actually off to Paris in a few days so I want to check in.
Have a good talk with her. She knew he missed his daughter.
I will. Sweet dreams. Ill see you in a few days.
He hung up and she was still smiling to herself when she went inside nearly an hour later.
Jonah stood when his mother approached their table. He pulled her chair out and then settled, ordering her a glass of wine.
You look handsome today.
Of the brothers, Jonah was closest with his mother. Mainly because shed tried to break him multiple times as he was growing up and shed never succeeded. She liked to make a joke that he was the most stubborn being shed ever known, but really, all she had to do was look in the mirror. He came by it honestly.
Still, she could be a stone-cold bitch and a pain in the ass, especially when it came to how people might perceive what her sons did and how that might reflect on the family and their position.
Thank you. Carrie gave me the tie for Fathers Day last year.
Shes got good taste. Thank heaven she takes after you and not her stupid twit of a mother.
So. He moved on, not wanting to get into a bash-Charlotte conversation. It wasnt that he still cared, but that he didnt. He didnt want to spend any time on her. Im seeing someone. He figured it was best to just get it out there. Not present it like it was an issue, but a done deal. He was mainly telling her because he wanted to answer in the affirmative if Raven asked if hed told his family about them.
His mother gave him a look as the wine was delivered to the table. Do I know her?
No.
She narrowed her gaze. Well, stop evading. Did you get some girl pregnant or something?
He laughed and they held off discussing it further until after theyd ordered.
I know how to use birth control and I wasnt evading. Id only gotten a few sentences in. No you dont know her. Her name is Raven. Shes an artist.
An artist? Well, with a name like Raven I guess thats appropriate. Who does this girl come from? Where did you meet her? Shes not twenty or anything, is she?
Jonah laughed. Everything was going to be just fine.
She gave herself one last look in the mirror on her way to the door. The dress hed sent, she had to admit, was perfection. Black. Simple but elegant.
Shed worried her ink would show too much, but the sleeves, though sheer, gave her enough cover to feel comfortable and yet not that hed wanted her to hide.
The bodice had pretty beading to add some shimmer, but not so much it looked tacky or shouted hey, look at my boobs. Though the cut was generous, she also wasnt concerned shed be having a wardrobe malfunction. It was figure hugging without being tight.
The material was gorgeous. The dress was really well made. It was clear hed paid a pretty penny for it. But at the same time, also clear hed really given thought to what her personal style was.
In short, instead of feeling bought and paid for, she felt treasured. Spoiled even.
Shed done her hair in a chignon at the base of her skull. One of the first hairstyles shed learned when she came out to Los Angeles and one she had used time and again.
Hed also sent along shoes. Shoes shed actually drooled over a few months before so she knew how much theyd cost because shed said to Erin that she couldnt, in good conscience, pay that kind of money for a pair of shoes.
She smiled, looking at herself one last time. She was still Raven. Only fancified, as hed said. And the shoes were a dream and made her legs look a million miles long.
Partial payment for the hell she was sure to endure at this thing.
He knocked again. Impatient.
She opened the door and he sucked in a breath. You look magnificent.
She blushed but got a load of him while she did. Says the gorgeous man in the tux standing in my doorway.
He handed her roses. Just because. I saw them and knew you needed them.
She took them, burying her face, inhaling. Thank you. Come in while I get them in water.
She grabbed a vase and got the roses settled, taking one, trimming it and adding it to her hair.
Oh, I like that. He took her hand, kissing it. Do you have a wrap?
Yes. Thank you for the dress and shoes, by the way.
He looked her up and down. I really have to take credit here because you look so good. I had to guess on the sizes.
You know womens bodies well. Though thats not really a surprise.
He took the wrap shed picked up after shed unwrapped the dress and put it on her shoulders.
Outside, at the curb, a sleek black car waited with Daisy and Levi already inside.
Hey, Raven. Wow, you look fabulous. Daisy smiled and Raven couldnt help but smile back.
Thanks. You too.
I think its necessary to say just what good taste the Warner men have. Levi tipped his chin at his brother. Evening, Raven.
They drove to the hotel where the benefit was being held. We can get a drink here. The bar at the top is quite lovely. Jonah helped her out and then kept his hand at the small of her back as they went up.
Im really glad youre here tonight. Daisy sipped her martini. These things were fun before I got together with Levi. But usually I was working at them. She laughed and Raven relaxed a little. Being here as Levis fiancée is different. It makes me nervous because theyre always sizing me up.
Jonah and Levi had excused themselves to hit the mens room so it was just the two of them at the table.
Who sizes you up?
All the women who figured theyd be making a play for Levi.
So there you are all vibrant and young and really hot. My god, they must flip out.
Youre really good for my ego. Daisy grinned. The artist thing helps. I know many of these people in my own right. But the whole society thing? Thats Levis neck of the woods.
Which makes you . . . What do they call it? A power couple. I mean, hes the money and youre the talent. Both of you are easy on the eyes. Youre all charming in that way only a very few people are.
I am?
Um, yes. Unlike me. Im just going to try really hard not to say anything at all tonight.
Daisys eyebrows flew up. For gods sake, why?
Look, I like Jonah. Hes a lovely man and hes good to me. I know Im . . . an acquired taste. I dont want to embarrass him.
Daisys expression softened as she reached out to pat Ravens hand. Youre who you are. More than anyone else Ive ever met. And thats a good thing, believe it or not. Im just saying, sure, sure, dont blurt out that such and such has clearly had her lips done no matter how much she tells you shes just got that youthful glow or whatever, but youre not going to embarrass Jonah. He wouldnt have invited you if hed had any worries at all.
The ballroom was glittery and lit with what seemed like a zillion candles. The awesome thing was that candlelight hid a multitude of sins and made everyone look lovely.
Jonah handed off her wrap and his overcoat to the person at coat check and they waited for Daisy and Levi to do the same. Shed never admit it out loud, but having Daisy there made it better. Oh, not by comparison, because Daisy wore a bright smile and waved at people who seemed delighted to see her.
That wasnt Ravens wheelhouse. At all. But she knew Daisy, and Daisy had been very nice to her. Raven didnt feel so totally alone.
People did look though. In fact many of them did a double take when they noted she was on Jonahs arm. Inside she told herself, You are Raven Smith. You are beautiful and amazing and these people can fuck off sideways. As affirmations went, it was useful and one she used more than once. It helped her keep her back straight and her eyes up off the floor. Shed vowed a long time ago that shed never let anyone make her avert her gaze again.