SATINE. Oh my bones ache!
THE ACTOR [sits, nursing his knees] Education is all rot. Talent is the thing. I knew an actor who read his parts by heart, syllable by syllable but he played heroes in a way that.. why the whole theatre would rock with ecstasy!
SATINE. Bubnoff, give me five kopecks.
BUBNOFF. I only have two
THE ACTOR. I say talent, thats what you need to play heroes. And talent is nothing but faith in yourself, in your own powers
SATINE. Give me five kopecks and Ill have faith that youre a hero, a crocodile, or a police inspector Kleshtch, give me five kopecks.
KLESHTCH. Go to hell! All of you!
SATINE. What are you cursing for? I know you havent a kopeck in the world!
ANNA. Andrei Mitritch Im suffocating I cant breathe
KLESHTCH. What shall I do?
BUBNOFF. Open the door into the hall.
KLESHTCH. All right. Youre sitting on the bunk, I on the floor. You change places with me, and Ill let you open the door. I have a cold as it is.
BUBNOFF [unconcernedly] I dont care if you open the door its your wife whos asking
KLESHTCH [morosely] I dont care whos asking
SATINE. My head buzzes ah why do people have to hit each other over the heads?
BUBNOFF. They dont only hit you over the head, but over the rest of the body as well. [Rises] I must go and buy some thread our bosses are late to-day seems as if theyve croaked. [Exit]
[Anna coughs; Satine is lying down motionless, his hands folded behind his head.]
THE ACTOR [looks about him morosely, then goes to Anna] Feeling bad, eh?
ANNA. Im choking
THE ACTOR. If you wish, Ill take you into the hallway. Get up, then, come! [He helps her to rise, wraps some sort of a rag about her shoulders, and supports her toward the hall] It isnt easy. Im sick myself poisoned with alcohol.
[Kostilyoff appears in the doorway.]
KOSTILYOFF. Going for a stroll? What a nice couple the gallant cavalier and the lady fair!
THE ACTOR. Step aside, you dont you see that were invalids?
KOSTILYOFF. Pass on, please! [Hums a religious tune, glances about him suspiciously, and bends his head to the left as if listening to what is happening in Pepels room. Kleshtch is jangling his keys and scraping away with his file, and looks askance at the other] Filing?
KLESHTCH. What?
KOSTILYOFF. I say, are you filing? [Pause] What did I want to ask? [Quick and low] Hasnt my wife been here?
KLESHTCH. I didnt see her.
KOSTILYOFF [carefully moving toward Pepels room] You take up a whole lot of room for your two rubles a month. The bed and your bench yes you take up five rubles worth of space, so help me God! Ill have to put another half ruble to your rent
KLESHTCH. Youll put a noose around my neck and choke me.. youll croak soon enough, and still all you think of is half rubles
KOSTILYOFF. Why should I choke you? What would be the use? God be with you live and prosper! But Ill have to raise you half a ruble Ill buy oil for the ikon lamp, and my offering will atone for my sins, and for yours as well. You dont think much of your sins not much! Oh, Andrushka, youre a wicked man! Your wife is dying because of your wickedness no one loves you, no one respects you your work is squeaky, jarring on every one.
KLESHTCH [shouts] What do you come here for just to annoy me?
[Satine grunts loudly.]
KOSTILYOFF [with a start] God, what a noise!
[The Actor enters.]
THE ACTOR. Ive put her down in the hall and wrapped her up.
KOSTILYOFF. Youre a kindly fellow. Thats good. Some day youll be rewarded for it.
THE ACTOR. When?
KOSTILYOFF. In the Beyond, little brother there all our deeds will be reckoned up.
THE ACTOR. Suppose you reward me right now?
KOSTILYOFF. How can I do that?
THE ACTOR. Wipe out half my debt.
KOSTILYOFF. He-ho! Youre always jesting, darling always poking fun.. can kindliness of heart be repaid with gold? Kindliness its above all other qualities. But your debt to me remains a debt. And so youll have to pay me back. You ought to be kind to me, an old man, without seeking for reward!
THE ACTOR. Youre a swindler, old man! [Goes into kitchen]
[Kleshtch rises and goes into the hall.]
KOSTILYOFF [to Satine] See that squeaker ? He ran away he doesnt like me!
SATINE. Does anybody like you besides the Devil?
KOSTILYOFF [laughing] Oh youre so quarrelsome! But I like you all I understand you all, my unfortunate down-trodden, useless brethren.. [Suddenly, rapidly] Is Vaska home?
SATINE. See for yourself
KOSTILYOFF [goes to the door and knocks] Vaska!
[The Actor appears at the kitchen door, chewing something.]
PEPEL. Who is it?
KOSTILYOFF. Its I I, Vaska!
PEPEL. What do you want?
KOSTILYOFF [stepping aside] Open!
SATINE [without looking at Kostilyoff] Hell open and shes there
[The Actor makes a grimace.]
KOSTILYOFF [in a low, anxious tone] Eh? Whos there? What?
SATINE. Speaking to me?
KOSTILYOFF. What did you say?
SATINE. Oh nothing I was just talking to myself
KOSTILYOFF. Take care, brother. Dont carry your joking too far! [Knocks loudly at door] Vassily!
PEPEL [opening door] Well? What are you disturbing me for?
KOSTILYOFF [peering into room] I you see
PEPEL. Did you bring the money?
KOSTILYOFF. Ive something to tell you
PEPEL. Did you bring the money?
KOSTILYOFF. What money? Wait
PEPEL. Why the seven rubles for the watch well?
KOSTILYOFF. What watch, Vaska? Oh, you
PEPEL. Look here. Yesterday, before witnesses, I sold you a watch for ten rubles, you gave me three now let me have the other seven. What are you blinking for? You hang around here you disturb people and dont seem to know yourself what youre after.
KOSTILYOFF. Sh-sh! Dont be angry, Vaska. The watch it is
SATINE. Stolen!
KOSTILYOFF [sternly] I do not accept stolen goods how can you imagine
PEPEL [taking him by the shoulder] What did you disturb me for? What do you want?
KOSTILYOFF. I dont want anything. Ill go if youre in such a state
PEPEL. Be off, and bring the money!
KOSTILYOFF. What ruffians! I I [Exit]
THE ACTOR. What a farce!
SATINE. Thats fine I like it.
PEPEL. What did he come here for?
SATINE [laughing] Dont you understand? Hes looking for his wife. Why dont you beat him up once and for all, Vaska?
PEPEL. Why should I let such trash interfere with my life?
SATINE. Show some brains! And then you can marry Vassilisa and become our boss
PEPEL. Heavenly bliss! And youd smash up my household and, because Im a soft-hearted fool, youll drink up everything I possess. [Sits on a bunk] Old devil woke me up I was having such a pleasant dream. I dreamed I was fishing and I caught an enormous trout such a trout as you only see in dreams! I was playing him and I was so afraid the line would snap. I had just got out the gaff and I thought to myself in a moment
SATINE. It wasnt a trout, it was Vassilisa
THE ACTOR. He caught Vassilisa a long time ago.
PEPEL [angrily] You can all go to the devil and Vassilisa with you
[Kleshtch comes from the hall.]
KLESHTCH. Devilishly cold!
THE ACTOR. Why didnt you bring Anna back? Shell freeze, out there
KLESHTCH. Natasha took her into the kitchen
THE ACTOR. The old man will kick her out
KLESHTCH [sitting down to his work] Well Natasha will bring her in here
SATINE. Vassily give me five kopecks!
THE ACTOR [to Satine] Oh, you always five kopecks Vassya give us twenty kopecks
PEPEL. Id better give it to them now before they ask for a ruble. Here you are!
SATINE. Gibraltar! There are no kindlier people in the world than thieves!
KLESHTCH [morosely] They earn their money easily they dont work
SATINE. Many earn it easily, but not many part with it so easily. Work? Make work pleasant and maybe Ill work too. Yes maybe. When works a pleasure, lifes, too. When its toil, then life is a drudge. [To the Actor] You, Sardanapalus! Come on!
THE ACTOR. Lets go, Nebuchadnezzar! Ill get as drunk as forty thousand topers!
[They leave.]
PEPEL [yawning] Well, hows your wife?
KLESHTCH. It seems as if soon [Pause.]
PEPEL. Now I look at you seems to me all that filing and scraping of yours is useless.
KLESHTCH. Well what else can I do?
PEPEL. Nothing.
KLESHTCH. How can I live?
PEPEL. People manage, somehow.
KLESHTCH. Them? Call them people? Muck and dregs thats what they are! Im a workman Im ashamed even to look at them. Ive slaved since I was a child Dyou think I shant be able to tear myself away from here? Ill crawl out of here, even if I have to leave my skin behind but crawl out I will! Just wait.. my wifell die.. Ive lived here six months, and it seems like six years.
PEPEL. Nobody heres any worse off than you.. say what you like.
KLESHTCH. No worse is right. Theyve neither honor nor conscience.
PEPEL [indifferently] What good does it do honor or conscience? Can you get them on their feet instead of on their uppers through honor and conscience? Honor and conscience are needed only by those who have power and energy.
BUBNOFF [coming back] Oh Im frozen.
PEPEL. Bubnoff! Got a conscience?
BUBNOFF. What? A conscience?
PEPEL. Exactly!
BUBNOFF. What do I need a conscience for? Im not rich.
PEPEL. Just what I said: honor and conscience are for the rich right! And Kleshtch is upbraiding us because we havent any!
BUBNOFF. Why did he want to borrow some of it?
PEPEL. No he has plenty of his own.
BUBNOFF. Oh are you selling it? You wont sell much around here. But if you had some old boxes, Id buy them on credit.
PEPEL [didactically] Youre a jackass, Andrushka! On the subject of conscience you ought to hear Satine or the Baron.
KLESHTCH. Ive nothing to talk to them about!
PEPEL. They have more brains than you even if theyre drunkards.
BUBNOFF. He who can be drunk and wise at the same time is doubly blessed.
PEPEL. Satine says every man expects his neighbor to have a conscience, but you see it isnt to any ones advantage to have one thats a fact.
[Natasha enters, followed by Luka who carries a stick in his hand, a bundle on his back, a kettle and a teapot slung from his belt.]
LUKA. How are you, honest folks?
PEPEL [twisting his mustache] Aha Natasha!
BUBNOFF [to Luka] I was honest up to spring before last.
NATASHA. Heres a new lodger.
LUKA. Oh, its all the same to me. Crooks I dont mind them, either. For my part theres no bad flea theyre all black and they all jump .. Well, dearie, show me where I can stow myself.
NATASHA [pointing to kitchen door] Go in there, grand-dad.
LUKA. Thanks, girlie! One place is like another as long as an old fellow keeps warm, he keeps happy.
PEPEL. What an amusing old codger you brought in, Natasha!
NATASHA. A hanged sight more interesting than you!.. Andrei, your wifes in the kitchen with us come and fetch her after a while.
KLESHTCH. All right I will.
NATASHA. And be a little more kind to her you know she wont last much longer.
KLESHTCH. I know.
NATASHA. Knowing wont do any good its terrible dying dont you understand?
PEPEL. Well look at me Im not afraid.
NATASHA. Oh youre a wonder, arent you?
BUBNOFF [whistling] Oh this threads rotten.
PEPEL. Honestly, Im not afraid! Im ready to die right now. Knife me to the heart and Ill die without making a sound.. even gladly from such a pure hand.
NATASHA [going out] Spin that yarn for some one else!
BUBNOFF. Oh that thread is rotten rotten
NATASHA [at hallway door] Dont forget your wife, Andrei!
KLESHTCH. All right.
PEPEL. Shes a wonderful girl!
BUBNOFF. Shes all right.
PEPEL. What makes her so curt with me? Anyway shell come to no good here.
BUBNOFF. Through you sure!
PEPEL. Why through me? I feel sorry for her.
BUBNOFF. As the wolf for the lamb!
PEPEL. You lie! I feel very sorry for her.. very.. very sorry! She has a tough life here I can see that.
KLESHTCH. Just wait till Vassilisa catches you talking to her!
BUBNOFF. Vassilisa? She wont give up so easily what belongs to her shes a cruel woman!
PEPEL [stretching himself on the bunk] You two prophets can go to hell!
KLESHTCH. Just wait youll see!
LUKA [singing in the kitchen] In the dark of the night the way is black.
KLESHTCH. Another one who yelps!
PEPEL. Its dreary! Why do I feel so dreary? You live and everything seems all right. But suddenly a cold chill goes through you and then everything gets dreary.
BUBNOFF. Dreary? Hm-hm
PEPEL. Yes yes
LUKA [sings] The way is black.
PEPEL. Old fellow! Hey there!
LUKA [looking from kitchen door] You call me?
PEPEL. Yes. Dont sing!
LUKA [coming in] You dont like it?
PEPEL. When people sing well I like it
LUKA. In other words I dont sing well?
PEPEL. Evidently!
LUKA. Well, well and I thought I sang well. Thats always the way: a man imagines theres one thing he can do well, and suddenly he finds out that other people dont think so.
PEPEL [laughs] Thats right.
BUBNOFF. First you say you feel dreary and then you laugh!
PEPEL. None of your business, raven!
LUKA. Who do they say feels dreary?
PEPEL. I do.
[The Baron enters.]
LUKA. Well, well out there in the kitchen theres a girl reading and crying! Thats so! Her eyes are wet with tears.. I say to her: Whats the matter, darling? And she says: Its so sad! Whats so sad? say I. The book! says she. And thats how people spend their time. Just because theyre bored.