PEPEL. None of your business, raven!
LUKA. Who do they say feels dreary?
PEPEL. I do.
[The Baron enters.]
LUKA. Well, well out there in the kitchen theres a girl reading and crying! Thats so! Her eyes are wet with tears.. I say to her: Whats the matter, darling? And she says: Its so sad! Whats so sad? say I. The book! says she. And thats how people spend their time. Just because theyre bored.
THE BARON. Shes a fool!
PEPEL. Have you had tea, Baron?
THE BARON. Yes. Go on!
PEPEL. Well want me to open a bottle?
THE BARON. Of course. Go on!
PEPEL. Drop on all fours, and bark like a dog!
THE BARON. Fool! Whats the matter with you? Are you drunk?
PEPEL. Go on bark a little! Itll amuse me. Youre an aristocrat. You didnt even consider us human formerly, did you?
THE BARON. Go on!
PEPEL. Well and now I am making you bark like a dog and you will bark, wont you?
THE BARON. All right. I will. You jackass! What pleasure can you derive from it since I myself know that I have sunk almost lower than you. You should have made me drop on all fours in the days when I was still above you.
BUBNOFF. Thats right.
LUKA. I say so, too!
BUBNOFF. Whats over, is over. Remain only trivialities. We know no class distinctions here. Weve shed all pride and self-respect. Blood and bone man just plain man thats what we are!
LUKA. In other words, were all equal.. and you, friend, were you really a Baron?
THE BARON. Who are you? A ghost?
LUKA [laughing] Ive seen counts and princes in my day this is the first time I meet a baron and one whos decaying at that!
PEPEL [laughing] Baron, I blush for you!
THE BARON. Its time you knew better, Vassily.
LUKA. Hey-hey I look at you, brothers the life youre leading.
BUBNOFF. Such a life! As soon as the sun rises, our voices rise, too in quarrels!
THE BARON. Weve all seen better days yes! I used to wake up in the morning and drink my coffee in bed coffee with cream! Yes
LUKA. And yet were all human beings. Pretend all you want to, put on all the airs you wish, but man you were born, and man you must die. And as I watch I see that the wiser people get, the busier they get and though from bad to worse, they still strive to improve stubbornly
THE BARON. Who are you, old fellow? Where do you come from?
LUKA. I?
THE BARON. Are you a tramp?
LUKA. Were all of us tramps why Ive heard said that the very earth we walk on is nothing but a tramp in the universe.
THE BARON [severely] Perhaps. But have you a passport?
LUKA [after a short pause] And what are you a police inspector?
PEPEL [delighted] You scored, old fellow! Well, Barosha, you got it this time!
BUBNOFF. Yes our little aristocrat got his!
THE BARON [embarrassed] Whats the matter? I was only joking, old man. Why, brother, I havent a passport, either.
BUBNOFF. You lie!
THE BARON. Oh well I have some sort of papers but they have no value
LUKA. Theyre papers just the same and no papers are any good
PEPEL. Baron come on to the saloon with me
THE BARON. Im ready. Good-bye, old man you old scamp
LUKA. Maybe I am one, brother
PEPEL [near doorway] Come on come on!
[Leaves, Baron following him quickly.]
LUKA. Was he really once a Baron?
BUBNOFF. Who knows? A gentleman ? Yes. That much hes even now. Occasionally it sticks out. He never got rid of the habit.
LUKA. Nobility is like small-pox. A man may get over it but it leaves marks.
BUBNOFF. Hes all right all the same occasionally he kicks as he did about your passport.
[Alyoshka comes in, slightly drunk, with a concertina in his hand, whistling.]
ALYOSHKA. Hey there, lodgers!
BUBNOFF. What are you yelling for?
ALYOSHKA. Excuse me I beg your pardon! Im a well-bred man
BUBNOFF. On a spree again?
ALYOSHKA. Right you are! A moment ago Medyakin, the precinct captain, threw me out of the police station and said: Look here I dont want as much as a smell of you to stay in the streets dyou hear? Im a man of principles, and the boss croaks at me and whats a boss anyway pah! its all bosh the boss is a drunkard. I dont make any demands on life. I want nothing thats all. Offer me one ruble, offer me twenty it doesnt affect me. [Nastya comes from the kitchen] Offer me a million I wont take it! And to think that I, a respectable man, should be ordered about by a pal of mine and he a drunkard! I wont have it I wont!
[Nastya stands in the doorway, shaking her head at Alyoshka.]
LUKA [good-naturedly] Well, boy, youre a bit confused
BUBNOFF. Arent men fools!
ALYOSHKA [stretches out on the floor] Here, eat me up alive and I dont want anything. Im a desperate man. Show me one better! Why am I worse than others? There! Medyakin said: If you show yourself on the streets I smash your face! And yet I shall go out Ill go and stretch out in the middle of the street let them choke me I dont want a thing!
NASTYA. Poor fellow only a boy and hes already putting on such airs
ALYOSHKA [kneeling before her] Lady! Mademoiselle! Parlez français ? Prix courrant? Im on a spree
NASTYA [in a loud whisper] Vassilisa!
VASSILISA [opens door quickly; to Alyoshka