Even after that, then what? Did she think people would just accept a girl with the mask of the goddess tattooed on her calf to show that she was one of the Unclaimed? Did she think people would take her in, give her a space in which to raise her child, or help her in any way? It wasnt what people did with the likes of her.
Could she bring a child into a world like that? Was it right to bring something so helpless as a child into a world that had such cruelty in it? It wasnt as though Sophia knew anything about being a mother, or had anything useful to teach her offspring. Everything shed learned as a child had been about the cruelty that came from disobedience, or the violence that it was only right for something as wicked as an orphan to expect.
We dont have to make any decisions now, Emeline said. This can wait until tomorrow.
Cora shook her head. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Its better if
Stop, Sophia said, cutting the potential argument short. No more talking. I know youre both trying to help, but this isnt something you can decide for me. Its not even something Im sure I can decide, but Im going to have to, and I have to do it alone.
This was the kind of thing she wished she could talk about with Kate, but there was still no answer when she called into the night with her thoughts. In any case, the truth was that Kate was probably better at problems that involved enemies to fight, or pursuers to escape. This was the kind of thing she hadnt had to face, any more than Sophia had.
Sophia went to the far side of the cart, taking Coras powder with her. She didnt tell them what she was going to do next, because right then, she wasnt even sure that she knew herself. Sienne got up to follow her, but Sophia pushed the forest cat away with a flicker of thought.
Shed never felt as alone as she did in that moment.
CHAPTER THREE
The last time Angelica had gone to the Dowagers rooms, it had been because she had been summoned. She had been worried enough then. Now, marching in of her own accord, she was terrified, and Angelica hated that. She hated the sense of powerlessness that followed her, even though she was one of the greatest nobles of the kingdom. She could do as she wished with servants, with so-called friends, with half the nobles of the kingdom, but the Dowager could still have her killed.
It was worse that Angelica had given her that power. Shed done it the moment she tried to drug Sebastian. This wasnt a kingdom where the monarch could just snap her fingers and order a death, but with her there wasnt a jury of noble peers who would call what shed done anything other than treason, if the Dowager chose to bring it to that.
So she forced herself to pause as she reached the doors to the Dowagers rooms, composing herself. The guards there said nothing, merely waited for Angelica to make her case to go inside. If shed had more time, Angelica would have sent a servant to request this audience. If shed had more confidence in her power here, she would have rebuked the men for not showing her the proper deference.
I need to see her majesty, Angelica said.
We were not informed that our queen would be seeing anyone, one of the guards said. There was no apology for it, none of the courtesy that Angelica was due. Silently, Angelica resolved to see the man pay for that in time. Perhaps if she could find a way to repost him to the war?
I didnt know it would be necessary until a little while ago, Angelica said. Ask her if she will see me, please. Its about her son.
The guard nodded at that, and set off inside. The mention of Sebastian was enough to motivate him even if Angelicas position couldnt. Perhaps he just knew what the Dowager had already made clear to Angelica: that when it came to her sons, there was little she wouldnt do.
It was what gave Angelica hope that this might work, but it was also what made this dangerous. The Dowager might turn and stop Sebastian from leaving, but she might just as easily have Angelica killed for failing to seduce him as well as shed been told. Keep him happy, the old bat had told her, dont let him think about another woman. It had been obvious enough what shed meant.
The guard reappeared quickly enough, holding the door open for Angelica to step through. He didnt bow as he should have, or even announce her with her full title.
Milady dAngelica, he called out instead.
Then again, what titles did Angelica have that could stand up to a queens? What power did she possess that didnt pale into insignificance beside that of the woman who stood in the sitting room of her apartments, her face a carefully composed mask.
Angelica curtseyed, because she didnt dare do anything else. The Dowager gestured impatiently for her to stand.
A sudden visit, she said without a smile, and news about my son. I think we can dispense with that.
And if Angelica hadnt curtseyed, no doubt Sebastians mother would have rebuked her for it.
You told me to bring you any news about Sebastian, Your Majesty, Angelica said.
The Dowager nodded, moving over to a comfortable-looking chair. She didnt offer Angelica a seat.
I know what I said. I also know what I said would happen if you didnt.
Angelica could remember the threats too. The Mask of Lead, the traditional punishment for traitors. Just the thought of it made her shudder.
Well? the Dowager asked. Have you managed to make my son the happiest husband-to-be in the circle of the world?
He says that he is leaving, Angelica said. He was angry at being manipulated, and he declared that he was going after the whore he loved before.
And you did nothing to stop him? the Dowager demanded.
Angelica could hardly believe that. What would you have had me do? Tackle him at the door? Lock him in his chambers?
Do I have to spell it out to you? the Dowager said. Sebastian might not be Rupert, but he is still a man.
You think I didnt try that? Angelica countered. That part stung worse than the rest of it. No one had rejected her before. Whoever she wanted, whether it was out of genuine desire or simply to prove that she could, had come running. Sebastian had been the only one to ever turn her down. Hes in love.
The Dowager sat there, and seemed to calm a little. So youre telling me that you cant be the wife I need for my son? That you cant make him happy? That youre useless to me?
Too late, Angelica saw the danger in it.
I didnt say that, she said. I only came because
Because you wanted me to solve your problems for you, and because you were afraid of what would happen if you didnt, the Dowager said. She stood, her finger jabbing at Angelicas chest. Well, I am prepared to give you one piece of advice. If he is following the girl, the most likely place she will go is Monthys, in the north. There, is that sufficient for you, or do I need to draw you a map?
How do you know that? Angelica asked.
Because I know what this is all about, the Dowager snapped back. Lets make it clear, Milady. I have already done something to control my son. I have sent you to distract him. Now, if necessary, I will discard that option, but there would be no marriage then, and I would be very disappointed in you.
She didnt need to spell out the threat. At best, Angelica would find herself sent away from the court. At worst
Ill fix this, she promised. Ill make sure that Sebastian loves me, and only me.
She didnt need to spell out the threat. At best, Angelica would find herself sent away from the court. At worst
Ill fix this, she promised. Ill make sure that Sebastian loves me, and only me.
You do that, the Dowager said. Whatever it takes, you do that.
***Angelica had no time for the usual niceties of noble travel. This was not the moment to meander along in a carriage, hemmed in by a gaggle of hangers-on, and surrounded by enough servants to slow her to a walk. Instead, she had her servants dig out riding clothes, and with her own hands she packed a small bag with things she might need. She even tied her hair back in a much simpler style than her usual elaborate braids, knowing that there would be no time for such things on the road. Besides, there were some things it might be better not to be recognized doing.
She set out into Ashton with a cloak around her to make sure no one saw who she was. She took a half mask as well, and in the city, that was a common enough mark of religious fervor that no one questioned it. She rode to the gates of the palace first, stopping by the guards and spinning a coin between her fingers.
Prince Sebastian, she said. Which way did he go?
She knew she couldnt hide her identity from the guards, but probably they wouldnt ask questions either. They would simply assume that she was following after the man she loved and intended to marry. It was even the truth, in its way.
That way, Milady, one of the men said, pointing. The way the young women went when they ran from the palace a few days ago.
Angelica should have guessed as much. He pointed, and Angelica went. She followed Sebastian through the city like a hound at the hunt, hoping she could get to him before he went too far. She felt almost like some spirit bound to the city. In her home, she was powerful. She knew the people here, and whom to talk to. The further she went beyond it, the more she would have to rely on her own wits. She asked the same questions Sebastian must have asked as he went, and received the same answers.
She heard about the flight of Sophia and the serving girl through the city from a series of folk so filthy she wouldnt even have noticed them under other circumstances. They remembered it because it had been the most exciting thing to happen in their dreary lives for weeks. Maybe she and Sebastian would become another piece of gossip for them. Angelica hoped not. From a gossiping fishwife who genuflected to her as she passed, Angelica heard about a chase through the citys streets. From an urchin so grubby that she couldnt tell if it was a boy or a girl, she heard about them diving into the barrels of a cart to hide.
And then the woman with the cart told them to come with her, the filthy creature told her. They all drove off together.
Angelica tossed it a small coin. If youre lying to me, Ill see to it that youre thrown from one of the bridges.
Now that she knew about the cart, it was easy to track their progress. Theyd headed for the northernmost exit from the city, and that seemed to make it clear where they were heading: Monthys. Angelica sped up, hoping that the Dowagers information was right even as she wondered what the old woman was keeping from her. She didnt like being a pawn in someone elses game. One day, the old hag would pay for it.
For today, she had to get ahead of Sebastian.
Angelica had no thoughts about trying to change his mind, not yet. He would still be burning with the need to find that that Angelica couldnt think of words harsh enough for one of the Indentured who pretended to be something she wasnt, who seduced the prince who was meant for Angelica, and who had been nothing but an impediment since she arrived.
She couldnt let Sebastian find her, but he wouldnt simply turn away from the search because she asked. That meant that she needed to act, and act fast, if she was going to make this turn out right.
Out of the way! she called, before spurring her horse forward at the kind of speed that promised a crushing fall to anyone stupid enough to stand in its path. She headed out from the city, guessing at the route the wagon must have taken. She cut across the fields, jumping hedges so close that she could feel the brush of the branches against her boots. Anything that would let her get ahead of Sebastian before he went too far.
Eventually, she saw a crossroads ahead, and a man leaning on the signpost there with a flagon of cider in one hand and the air of someone who didnt intend to move.
You, Angelica said. Are you here every day? Did you see a cart with three girls pass by here on the way north a few days ago?
The man hesitated, regarding his drink. I
It doesnt matter, Angelica said. She hefted a purse, the clink of the Royals inside unmistakable. You were now. A young man named Sebastian will ask you, and if you want these coins, you will say that you saw them. Three young women, one with red hair, one dressed like a servant from the palace.
Three young women? the man said.
One with red hair, Angelica repeated with what she hoped was a suitable degree of patience. They asked you the way to Barriston.
It was the wrong way, of course. More than that, it was a journey that would keep Sebastian occupied for a while, and that would cool his foolish desire for Sophia when he failed to find her. It would give him a chance to remember his duty.
They did all that? the man asked.
They did if you want the coin, Angelica snapped back. Half now, half when its done. Repeat it to me, so I know youre not too drunk to say it when the time comes.
He managed it, and that was good enough. It had to be. Angelica gave him his coin and rode on, wondering how long it would take him to realize that she wouldnt be coming back with the other half. Hopefully, he wouldnt work it out until well after Sebastian had been by.
For her part, she had to be long gone by that point. She couldnt afford for Sebastian to see her, or he would work out what shed done. Besides, she needed all the head start that she could get. It was a long way north to Monthys, and Angelica needed to finish everything that she needed to do well before Sebastian realized his mistake and came after her.
There will be enough time, Angelica reassured herself as she rode north. Ill get it done, and be back in Ashton before Sebastian realizes that anythings wrong.
Get it done. Such a delicate way of phrasing it, as if she were still in court, feigning shock while setting out the indiscretions of some minor noble girl for the rumor mill to digest. Why not say what she meant? That, once she found Sophia, there was only one thing that was going to ensure that she would never interfere with her or Sebastians life again; only one thing that would make it clear that Sebastian was hers, and that would show the Dowager that Angelica was willing to do whatever was required to secure her position. There was only one thing that was going to leave Angelica feeling safe.
Sophia was going to have to die.
CHAPTER FOUR
Sebastian had no doubt as he rode that there would be trouble for what he was doing now. Riding away like this, against his mothers orders, avoiding the marriage she had set for him? For a noble from another family, it would have been enough to warrant disinheritance. For the son of the Dowager, it was tantamount to treason.
It wont come to that, Sebastian said as his horse thundered onward. And even if it does, Sophia is worth it.
He knew what he was giving up by doing this. When he found her, when he married her, they wouldnt just be able to walk back into Ashton in triumph, take up residence in the palace, and assume that everyone would be happy. If they were able to return at all, it would be under a cloud of disgrace.