He knew what he was giving up by doing this. When he found her, when he married her, they wouldnt just be able to walk back into Ashton in triumph, take up residence in the palace, and assume that everyone would be happy. If they were able to return at all, it would be under a cloud of disgrace.
I dont care, Sebastian told his horse. Worrying about disgrace and honor had been what had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Hed put Sophia aside because of what hed assumed people would think about her. He hadnt even made them raise their voices in disapproval; hed just acted, knowing what they would say.
It had been a weak, cowardly thing to do, and now he was going to undo it, if he could.
Sophia was worth a dozen of the nobles hed spent his time around growing up. A hundred. It didnt matter if she had the Masked Goddesss mark tattooed on her calf to claim her, she was the only woman Sebastian could even begin to dream of marrying.
Certainly not Milady dAngelica. She was everything that the court represented: vain, shallow, manipulative, focused on her own wealth and success rather than anyone else. It didnt matter that she was beautiful, or from the right family, that she was intelligent or the sealing of an alliance within the country. She wasnt the woman Sebastian wanted.
I was still harsh with her when I left, Sebastian said. He wondered what anyone watching would think, with him talking to his horse like this. Yet the truth was that he didnt care now what people thought, and in a lot of ways, the horse was a better listener than most of the people around him had been at the palace.
He knew how things worked there. Angelica hadnt been trying to trick him; shed simply been trying to put something she knew he would find unpleasant in the best way possible. Looked at through the eyes of a world where the two of them had no choice about whom they were married to, it could even be seen as a kindness.
It was just that Sebastian didnt want to think that way anymore.
I dont want to be stuck in a place where my only duty is to keep breathing in case Rupert dies, he told his horse. I dont want to be somewhere my value is as breeding stock, or as something to be sold on to promote the right connections.
Looked at like that, the horse probably understood his predicament as well as any noble could. Werent the finest horses sold on for their breeding potential? Didnt those nobles who liked to race the length of country lanes or ride to the hunt keep records of every line, every foal? Wouldnt every one of them kill their own prize stallions before they allowed a single drop of the wrong blood to enter the bloodlines?
Ill find her, and Ill find a priest to marry us, Sebastian said. Even if Mother wants to charge us with treason over it, shell still need to persuade the Assembly of Nobles.
They wouldnt just kill a prince on a whim. Probably, some of them would be sympathetic, given enough time. Failing that, he and Sophia could always elope into the mountain lands of the north, or slip over the Knifewater together unseen, or even just retire to the lands Sebastian was supposed to be a duke of. They would find a way to make it work.
I just have to find her first, Sebastian said, as his horse took him out of the city, into the open countryside.
He felt confident that he would catch up to her, even with how far ahead she had to be by now. Hed found people who had seen what had happened when she ran from the palace, asking guards for their reports, then listening to stories from the people of the city. Most of them had been cautious about talking to him, but hed managed to get enough fragments together to at least get a general sense of the direction Sophia had been moving in.
From what hed heard, she was in a cart, which meant that she would be moving faster than a walking pace, but nowhere near as fast as Sebastian could move on horseback. He would find a way to catch up to her, even if it meant riding without rest until he did it. Perhaps that was part of his penance for pushing her out in the first place.
Sebastian pressed forward until he saw the crossroads, finally slowing his horse to a walk as he tried to work out which way to go.
There was a man asleep against the post of the crossroads, a straw hat pulled down over his eyes. A cider jug beside him suggested the reason he was snoring like a donkey. Sebastian let him sleep for now, looking up at the sign. East would lead to the coast, but Sebastian doubted that Sophia had the means to take a ship, or anywhere to go if she did. South would lead back to Ashton, so that was out.
That left the road leading north, and the one leading west. Without any additional information, Sebastian had no idea about which route to take. He could try looking for cart tracks on one of the dirt sections of the road, he guessed, but that implied that he had the skills to know what he was looking for, or to pick out Sophias cart from the hundreds of others that might have gone past in the days since then.
That left asking for help, and hoping.
Gently, using the toe of his boot, Sebastian nudged the foot of the sleeping man. He stepped back as the man spluttered and came awake, because he didnt know how someone that drunk might react to the sight of him there.
Whaddizit? the man managed. He also managed to pull himself up to his feet, which seemed quite impressive under the circumstances. Who are you? What do you want?
Even now, he seemed to have to hold onto the post to steady himself. Sebastian was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea.
Are you here regularly? he asked. He both needed the answer to be yes and hoped that it would be no, because what would that say about the mans life.
Why do you want to know? the drunk shot back.
Sebastian was starting to realize that he wasnt going to find what he wanted here. Even if this man spent most of his time by the crossroads, Sebastian doubted that he would be sober often enough to notice much.
It doesnt matter, he said. I was looking for someone who might have come by here, but I doubt you can help me. Im sorry to have bothered you.
He turned back toward his horse.
Wait, the man said. You youre Sebastian, arent you?
Sebastian stopped at the sound of his name, turning back toward the man with a frown.
How do you know my name? he asked.
The man staggered a little. What name?
My name, Sebastian said. You just called me Sebastian.
Wait, youre Sebastian?
Sebastian did his best to be patient. This man was obviously looking for him, and Sebastian could only think of a few reasons why that might be the case.
Yes, I am, he said. What I want to know is why youre looking for me.
I was The man paused for a moment, his brow crinkling. I was supposed to give you a message.
A message? Sebastian said. It seemed too good to be true, but even so, he dared to hope. From whom?
There was this woman, the drunk said, and that was enough to fan the embers of hope into a fully fledged fire.
What woman? Sebastian said.
The other man wasnt looking at him now though. If anything, it looked as though he was half drifting back to sleep. Sebastian caught hold of him, half holding him up, half shaking him awake.
What woman? he repeated.
There was something a red-haired woman, on a cart.
Thats her! Sebastian said, his excitement getting the better of him in that moment. Was this a few days ago?
The drunk took his time considering it. I dont know. Could be. What day is it?
Sebastian ignored that. It was enough that hed found the clue Sophia had left for him. The woman thats Sophia. Where did she go? What was her message?
He gave the drunk another shake as he started to drift off again, and Sebastian had to admit that it was at least partly from frustration. He needed to know what message Sophia had left with this man.
Why him? Had there been no one else Sophia could leave her message with? Looking at the man he was all but holding up, Sebastian knew the answer to that: shed been sure that Sebastian would run into him, because shed guessed that he wouldnt be going anywhere. Hed been the best way to get a message to Sebastian if he followed.
Which meant that she wanted him to follow. She wanted him to be able to find her. Just the thought of it was enough to lift Sebastians heart, because it meant that Sophia might be prepared to forgive all that hed done to her. She wouldnt provide him with a way to follow her if she didnt see a way for them to be together again, would she?
What was the message? Sebastian repeated.
She gave me money, the man said. Said to say that damn, I know I remembered it
Think, Sebastian said. Its important.
She said to tell you that shed gone off to Barriston! the drunk said with a note of triumph. Said to say that Id seen it with my own eyes.
Barriston? Sebastian asked, eyeing the sign at the crossroads. Youre certain?
The town didnt seem like a place that Sophia had any reason to go to, but maybe that was the point, given that she had been running. It was a provincial kind of town, without the size or the population of Ashton, but it had some wealth thanks to its glove industry. Perhaps it was as good a place as any for Sophia to go.
The other man nodded, and that was enough for Sebastian. If Sophia had left him a message, then it didnt matter who she had chosen to deliver it for her. What mattered was that hed gotten her message, and he knew which way to go to follow her. As thanks, Sebastian tossed the man by the crossroads a coin from his belt pouch, then rushed to mount his horse.
He steered the creature west, heeling it forward as he set off in the direction of Barriston. It would take time to get there, but he would push as hard as he dared on the way. He would catch up to her there, or maybe he would even overtake her on the road. Either way, he would find her, and they would be together.
Im coming, Sophia, he promised, while around him, the landscape of the Ridings sped by. Now that he knew she wanted to be found, he would do anything he had to do to catch up to her.
CHAPTER FIVE
Dowager Queen Mary of the House of Flamberg stood in the middle of her gardens, lifting a white rose to her nose and taking in the delicate scent. She had become good at masking her impatience over the years, and where her eldest son was concerned, impatience was an emotion that came to her far too readily.
What is this rose? she asked one of the gardeners.
A variety created by one of our indentured gardeners, the man said. She calls it the Bright Star.
Congratulate her on it and inform her that from now on it will be known as the Dowagers Star, the queen said. It was both a compliment and a reminder to the gardener that those who owned the indentureds debt could do as they wished with her creations. It was the kind of double-sided move the Dowager enjoyed for its efficiency.
Shed become good at making them too. After the civil wars, it would have been so easy to slide into powerlessness. Instead, shed found the balancing points between the Assembly of Nobles and the Masked Goddesss church, the unwashed masses and the merchants. Shed done it with intelligence, ruthlessness, and patience.
Even patience had its limits, though.
Before you do that, the Dowager said, kindly drag my son out of whatever brothel he is ensconced in and remind him that his queen is waiting for him.
The Dowager stood by a sundial, watching the shift of the shadow as she waited for the wastrel who stood as heir to the kingdom. It had moved a full fingers breadth by the time she heard Ruperts footsteps approaching.
I must be going senile in my old age, the Dowager said, because Im obviously misremembering things. The part where I summoned you to me half an hour ago, for example.
Hello to you too, Mother, Rupert said, not looking contrite in the least.
It would have been better if there were any sense that he had been using his time wisely. Instead, the disheveled state of his clothes said that shed been right in her earlier guess about where he would be. That, or hed been hunting. There were so few activities her elder son seemed to actually care about.
I see that your bruises are finally starting to fade, the Dowager said. Or have you finally started to get better at covering them with powder?
She saw her son flush with anger at that, but she didnt care. If hed thought himself able to lash out at her, he would have done it years ago, but Rupert was good at knowing who he could and couldnt direct his temper at.
I was caught by surprise, Rupert said.
By a serving girl, the Dowager replied calmly. From what I hear, while you were in the middle of attempting to force yourself on your brothers former fiancée.
Rupert stood there open-mouthed for several seconds. Hadnt he learned by now that his mother heard what went on in her kingdom, and in her home? Did he think that one remained the ruler of an island as divided as this one without spies? The Dowager sighed. He really did have too much to learn, and showed no signs of being willing to learn those lessons.
Sebastian had put her aside by then, he insisted. She was fair game, and nothing but an indentured whore anyway.
All those poets who write about you as a golden prince have really never met you, have they? the Dowager said, although the truth was that shed paid more than a few to make sure the poems turned out right. A prince should have the reputation he desired, not the one hed earned. With the right reputation, Rupert might even have the Assembly of Nobles acclamation when the time came for him to rule. Did it not occur to you that Sebastian might be angry if he heard what you tried to do?
Rupert frowned at that, and the Dowager could see that her son didnt understand it.
Why would he? He wasnt going to marry her, and in any case, Im the eldest, Ill be his king one day. He wouldnt dare to do anything.
If you think that, the Dowager said, you dont know your brother.
Rupert laughed at that. And you know him, Mother? Trying to marry him off? No wonder he ran.
The Dowager bit back her anger.
Yes, Sebastian ran. Ill admit that I underestimated the strength of his feelings there, but that can be solved.
By dealing with the girl, Rupert said.
The Dowager nodded. I assume its a task you want for yourself?
Absolutely.
Rupert didnt even hesitate. The Dowager had never thought that he would. That was good, in its way, because a ruler shouldnt shrink from doing what was necessary, yet she doubted that Rupert was thinking in those terms. He just wanted revenge for the bruises that marred his otherwise perfect features even now.
Let us be clear, the Dowager said. It is necessary that this girl should die, both to undo the insult to you, and because of the difficulties she could represent.