Lack of self-conceit was not your failing in the old days, Richard, said Renmark quietly.
Yates laughed. Well, it didnt hold me back any, to my knowledge. Now Ill tell you how Ive got along since we attended old Scragmores academy together, fifteen years ago. How time does fly! When I left, I tried teaching for one short month. I had some theories on the education of our youth which did not seem to chime in with the prejudices the school trustees had already formed on the subject.
The professor was at once all attention. Touch a man on his business, and he generally responds by being interested.
And what were your theories? he asked.
Well, I thought a teacher should look after the physical as well as the mental welfare of his pupils. It did not seem to me that his duty to those under his charge ended with mere book learning.
I quite agree with you, said the professor cordially.
Thanks. Well, the trustees didnt. I joined the boys at their games, hoping my example would have an influence on their conduct on the playground as well as in the schoolroom. We got up a rattling good cricket club. You may not remember that I stood rather better in cricket at the academy than I did in mathematics or grammar. By handicapping me with several poor players, and having the best players among the boys in opposition, we made a pretty evenly matched team at school section No. 12. One day, at noon, we began a game. The grounds were in excellent condition, and the opposition boys were at their best. My side was getting the worst of it. I was very much interested; and, when one oclock came, I thought it a pity to call school and spoil so good and interesting a contest. The boys were unanimously of the same opinion. The girls were happy, picnicking under the trees. So we played cricket all the afternoon.
I think that was carrying your theory a little too far, said the professor dubiously.
Just what the trustees thought when they came to hear of it. So they dismissed me; and I think my leaving was the only case on record where the pupils genuinely mourned a teachers departure. I shook the dust of Canada from my feet, and have never regretted it. I tramped to Buffalo, continuing to shake the dust off at every step. (Hello! heres your drinks at last, Stilly. I had forgotten about theman unusual thing with me. Thats all right, boy; charge it to room 518. Ah! that hits the spot on a hot day.) Well, where was I? Oh, yes, at Buffalo. I got a place on a paper here, at just enough to keep life in me; but I liked the work. Then I drifted to Rochester at a bigger salary, afterward to Albany at a still bigger salary, and of course Albany is only a few hours from New York, and that is where all newspaper men ultimately land, if they are worth their salt. I saw a small section of the war as special correspondent, got hurt, and rounded up in the hospital. Since then, although only a reporter, I am about the top of the tree in that line, and make enough money to pay my poker debts and purchase iced drinks to soothe the asperities of the game. When there is anything big going on anywhere in the country, I am there, with other fellows to do the drudgery; I writing the picturesque descriptions and interviewing the big men. My stuff goes red-hot over the telegraph wire, and the humble postage stamp knows my envelopes no more. I am acquainted with every hotel clerk that amounts to anything from New York to San Francisco. If I could save money, I should be rich, for I make plenty; but the hole at the top of my trousers pocket has lost me a lot of cash, and I dont seem to be able to get it mended. Now, youve listened with your customary patience in order to give my self-esteem, as you called it, full sway. I am grateful. I will reciprocate. How about yourself?
The professor spoke slowly. I have had no such adventurous career, he began. I have not shaken Canadian dust from my feet, and have not made any great success. I have simply plodded; and am in no danger of becoming rich, although I suppose I spend as little as any man. After you were expelafter you left the aca
Dont mutilate the good old English language, Stilly. You were right in the first place. I am not thin-skinned. You were saying after I was expelled. Go on.
I thought perhaps it might be a sore subject. You remember, you were very indignant at the time, and
Of course I wasand am still, for that matter. It was an outrage!
I thought it was proved that you helped to put the pony in the principals room.
Oh, certainly. That. Of course. But what I detested was the way the principal worked the thing. He allowed that villain Spink to turn evidence against us, and Spink stated I originated the affair, whereas I could claim no such honor. It was Spinks own project, which I fell in with, as I did with every disreputable thing proposed. Of course the principal believed at once that I was the chief criminal. Do you happen to know if Spink has been hanged yet?
I believe he is a very reputable business man in Montreal, and much respected.
I might have suspected that. Well, you keep your eye on the respected Spink. If he doesnt fail some day, and make a lot of money, Im a Dutchman. But go on. This is digression. By the way, just push that electric button. Youre nearest, and it is too hot to move. Thanks. After I was expelled
After your departure I took a diploma, and for a year or two taught a class in the academy. Then, as I studied during my spare time, I got a chance as master of a grammar school near Toronto, chiefly, as I think, though the recommendation of Principal Scragmore. I had my degree by this time. Then
There was a gentle tap at the door.
Come in! shouted Yates. Oh, its you. Just bring up another cooling cobbler, will you? and charge it, as before, to Professor Renmark, room 518. Yes; and then
And then there came the opening in University College, Toronto. I had the good fortune to be appointed. There I am still, and there I suppose I shall stay. I know very few people, and am better acquainted with books than with men. Those whom I have the privilege of knowing are mostly studious persons, who have made, or will make, their mark in the world of learning. I have not had your advantage, of meeting statesmen who guide the destinies of a great empire.
No; you always were lucky, Stilly. My experience is that the chaps who do the guiding are more anxious about their own pockets, or their own political advancement, than they are of the destinies. Still, the empire seems to take its course westward just the same. So old Scragmores been your friend, has he?
He has, indeed.
Well, he insulted me only the other day.
You astonish me. I cannot imagine so gentlemanly and scholarly a man as Principal Scragmore insulting anybody.
Oh, you dont know him as I do. It was like this: I wanted to find out where you were, for reasons that I shall state hereafter. I cudgeled my brains, and then thought of old Scrag. I wrote him, and enclosed a stamped and addressed envelope, as all unsought contributors should do. He answeredBut I have his reply somewhere. You shall read it for yourself.
Yates pulled from his inside pocket a bundle of letters, which he hurriedly fingered over, commenting in a low voice as he did so: I thought I answered that. Still, no matter. Jingo! havent I paid that bill yet? This pass is run out. Must get another. Then he smiled and sighed as he looked at a letter in dainty handwriting; but apparently he could not find the document he sought.
Oh, well, it doesnt matter. I have it somewhere. He returned me the prepaid envelope, and reminded me that United States stamps were of no use in Canada, which of course I should have remembered. But he didnt pay the postage on his own letter, so that I had to fork out double. Still, I dont mind that, only as an indication of his meanness. He went on to say that, of all the members of our class, youyou!were the only one who had reflected credit on it. That was the insult. The idea of his making such a statement, when I had told him I was on the New York Argus! Credit to the class, indeed! I wonder if he ever heard of Brown after he was expelled. You know, of course. No? Well, Brown, by his own exertions, became president of the Alum Bank in New York, wrecked it, and got off to Canada with a clear half million. Yes, sir. I saw him in Quebec not six months ago. Keeps the finest span and carriage in the city, and lives in a palace. Could buy out old Scragmore a thousand times, and never feel it. Most liberal contributor to the cause of education that there is in Canada. He says education made him, and hes not a man to go back on education. And yet Scragmore has the cheek to say that you were the only man in the class who reflects credit on it!
Oh, well, it doesnt matter. I have it somewhere. He returned me the prepaid envelope, and reminded me that United States stamps were of no use in Canada, which of course I should have remembered. But he didnt pay the postage on his own letter, so that I had to fork out double. Still, I dont mind that, only as an indication of his meanness. He went on to say that, of all the members of our class, youyou!were the only one who had reflected credit on it. That was the insult. The idea of his making such a statement, when I had told him I was on the New York Argus! Credit to the class, indeed! I wonder if he ever heard of Brown after he was expelled. You know, of course. No? Well, Brown, by his own exertions, became president of the Alum Bank in New York, wrecked it, and got off to Canada with a clear half million. Yes, sir. I saw him in Quebec not six months ago. Keeps the finest span and carriage in the city, and lives in a palace. Could buy out old Scragmore a thousand times, and never feel it. Most liberal contributor to the cause of education that there is in Canada. He says education made him, and hes not a man to go back on education. And yet Scragmore has the cheek to say that you were the only man in the class who reflects credit on it!
The professor smiled quietly as the excited journalist took a cooling sip of the cobbler.
You see, Yates, peoples opinions differ. A man like Brown may not be Principal Scragmores ideal. The principal may be local in his ideals of a successful man, or of one who reflects credit on his teaching.
Local? You bet hes local. Too darned local for me. It would do that man good to live in New York for a year. But Im going to get even with him. Im going to write him up. Ill give him a column and a half; see if I dont. Ill get his photograph, and publish a newspaper portrait of him. If that doesnt make him quake, hes a cast-iron man. Say, you havent a photograph of old Scrag that you can lend me, have you?
I have; but I wont lend it for such a purpose. However, never mind the principal. Tell me your plans. I am at your disposal for a couple of weeks, or longer if necessary.
Good boy! Well, Ill tell you how it is. I want rest and quiet, and the woods, for a week or two. This is how it happened: I have been steadily at the grindstone, except for a while in the hospital; and that, you will admit, is not much of a vacation. The work interests me, and I am always in the thick of it. Now, its like this in the newspaper business: Your chief is never the person to suggest that you take a vacation. He is usually short of men and long on things to do, so if you dont worry him into letting you off, he wont lose any sleep over it. Hes content to let well enough alone every time. Then there is always somebody who wants to get away on pressing business,grandmothers funeral, and that sort of thing,so if a fellow is content to work right along, his chief is quite content to let him. Thats the way affairs have gone for years with me. The other week I went over to Washington to interview a senator on the political prospects. I tell you what it is, Stilly, without bragging, there are some big men in the States whom no one but me can interview. And yet old Scrag says Im no credit to his class! Why, last year my political predictions were telegraphed all over this country, and have since appeared in the European press. No credit! By Jove, I would like to have old Scrag in a twenty-four-foot ring, with thin gloves on, for about ten minutes!
I doubt if he would shine under those circumstances. But never mind him. He spoke, for once, without due reflection, and with perhaps an exaggerated remembrance of your school-day offenses. What happened when you went to Washington?
A strange thing happened. When I was admitted to the senators library, I saw another fellow, whom I thought I knew, sitting there. I said to the senator: I will come when you are alone. The senator looked up in surprise, and said: I am alone. I didnt say anything, but went on with my interview; and the other fellow took notes all the time. I didnt like this, but said nothing, for the senator is not a man to offend, and it is by not offending these fellows that I can get the information I do. Well, the other fellow came out with me, and as I looked at him I saw that he was myself. This did not strike me as strange at the time, but I argued with him all the way to New York, and tried to show him that he wasnt treating me fairly. I wrote up the interview, with the other fellow interfering all the while, so I compromised, and half the time put in what he suggested, and half the time what I wanted in myself. When the political editor went over the stuff, he looked alarmed. I told him frankly just how I had been interfered with, and he looked none the less alarmed when I had finished. He sent at once for a doctor. The doctor metaphorically took me to pieces, and then said to my chief: This man is simply worked to death. He must have a vacation, and a real one, with absolutely nothing to think of, or he is going to collapse, and that with a suddenness which will surprise everybody. The chief, to my astonishment, consented without a murmur, and even upbraided me for not going away sooner. Then the doctor said to me: You get some companionsome man with no brains, if possible, who will not discuss politics, who has no opinion on anything that any sane man would care to talk about, and who couldnt say a bright thing if he tried for a year. Get such a man to go off to the woods somewhere. Up in Maine or in Canada. As far away from post offices and telegraph offices as possible. And, by the way, dont leave your address at the Argus office. Thus it happened, Stilly, when he described this man so graphically, I at once thought of you.
I am deeply gratified, I am sure, said the professor, with the ghost of a smile, to be so promptly remembered in such a connection, and if I can be of service to you, I shall be very glad. I take it, then, that you have no intention of stopping in Buffalo?
You bet I havent. Im in for the forest primeval, the murmuring pines and the hemlock, bearded with moss and green in the something or otherI forget the rest. I want to quit lying on paper, and lie on my back instead, on the sward or in a hammock. Im going to avoid all boarding houses or delightful summer resorts, and go in for the quiet of the forest.
There ought to be some nice places along the lake shore.
No, sir. No lake shore for me. It would remind me of the Lake Shore Railroad when it was calm, and of Long Branch when it was rough. No, sir. The woods, the woods, and the woods. I have hired a tent and a lot of cooking things. Im going to take that tent over to Canada to-morrow; and then I propose we engage a man with a team to cart it somewhere into the woods, fifteen or twenty miles away. We shall have to be near a farmhouse, so that we can get fresh butter, milk, and eggs. This, of course, is a disadvantage; but I shall try to get near someone who has never even heard of New York.
You may find that somewhat difficult.
Oh, I dont know. I have great hopes of the lack of intelligence in the Canadians.
Often the narrowest, said the professor slowly, are those who think themselves the most cosmopolitan.
Right you are, cried Yates, skimming lightly over the remark, and seeing nothing applicable to his case in it. Well, Ive laid in about half a ton, more or less, of tobacco, and have bought an empty jug.
An empty one?