Right you are, cried Yates, skimming lightly over the remark, and seeing nothing applicable to his case in it. Well, Ive laid in about half a ton, more or less, of tobacco, and have bought an empty jug.
An empty one?
Yes. Among the few things worth having that the Canadians possess, is good whisky. Besides, the empty jar will save trouble at the customhouse. I dont suppose Canadian rye is as good as the Kentucky article, but you and I will have to scrub along on it for a while. And, talking of whisky, just press the button once again.
The professor did so, saying:
The doctor made no remark, I suppose, about drinking less or smoking less, did he?
In my case? Well, come to think of it, there was some conversation in that direction. Dont remember at the moment just what it amounted to; but all physicians have their little fads, you know. It doesnt do to humor them too much. Ah, boy, there you are again. Well, the professor wants another drink. Make it a gin fizz this time, and put plenty of ice in it; but dont neglect the gin on that account. Certainly; charge it to room 518.
CHAPTER III
Whats all this tackle? asked the burly and somewhat red-faced customs officer at Fort Erie.
This, said Yates, is a tent, with the poles and pegs appertaining thereto. These are a number of packages of tobacco, on which I shall doubtless have to pay something into the exchequer of her Majesty. This is a jug used for the holding of liquids. I beg to call your attention to the fact that it is at present empty, which unfortunately prevents me making a libation to the rites of good-fellowship. What my friend has in that valise I dont know, but I suspect a gambling outfit, and would advise you to search him.
My valise contains books principally, with some articles of wearing apparel, said the professor, opening his grip.
The customs officer looked with suspicion on the whole outfit, and evidently did not like the tone of the American. He seemed to be treating the customs department in a light and airy manner, and the officer was too much impressed by the dignity of his position not to resent flippancy. Besides, there were rumors of Fenian invasion in the air, and the officer resolved that no Fenian should get into the country without paying duty.
Where are you going with this tent?
Im sure I dont know. Perhaps you can tell us. I dont know the country about here. Say, Stilly, Im off uptown to attend to the emptiness in this stone utensil. Ive been empty too often myself not to sympathize with its condition. You wrestle this matter out about the tent. You know the ways of the country, whereas I dont.
It was perhaps as well that Yates left negotiations in the hands of his friend. He was quick enough to see that he made no headway with the officer, but rather the opposite. He slung the jar ostentatiously over his shoulder, to the evident discomfort of the professor, and marched up the hill to the nearest tavern, whistling one of the lately popular war tunes.
Now, he said to the barkeeper, placing the jar tenderly on the bar, fill that up to the nozzle with the best rye you have. Fill it with the old familiar juice, as the late poet Omar saith.
The bartender did as he was requested.
Can you disguise a little of that fluid in any way, so that it may be taken internally without a man suspecting what he is swallowing?
The barkeeper smiled. How would a cocktail fill the vacancy?
I can suggest nothing better, replied Yates. If you are sure you know how to make it.
The man did not resent this imputation of ignorance. He merely said, with the air of one who gives an incontrovertible answer:
I am a Kentucky man myself.
Shake! cried Yates briefly, as he reached his hand across the bar. How is it you happened to be here?
Well, I got in to a little trouble in Louisville, and here I am, where I can at least look at Gods country.
Hold on, protested Yates. Youre making only one cocktail.
Didnt you say one? asked the man, pausing in the compounding.
Bless you, I never saw one cocktail made in my life. You are with me on this.
Just as you say, replied the other, as he prepared enough for two.
Now Ill tell you my fix, said Yates confidentially. Ive got a tent and some camp things down below at the customhouse shanty, and I want to get them taken into the woods, where I can camp out with a friend. I want a place where we can have absolute rest and quiet. Do you know the country round here? Perhaps you could recommend a spot.
Well, for all the time Ive been here, I know precious little about the back country. Ive been down the road to Niagara Falls, but never back in the woods. I suppose you want some place by the lake or the river?
No, I dont. I want to get clear back into the forestif there is a forest.
Well, theres a man in to-day from somewhere near Ridgeway, I think. Hes got a hay rack with him, and that would be just the thing to take your tent and poles. Wouldnt be very comfortable traveling for you, but it would be all right for the tent, if its a big one.
That will suit us exactly. We dont care a cent about the comfort. Roughing it is what we came for. Where will I find him?
Oh, hell be along here soon. Thats his team tied there on the side street. If he happens to be in good humor, hell take your things, and as like as not give you a place to camp in his woods. Hiram Bartletts his name. And, talking of the old Nick himself, here he is. I say, Mr. Bartlett, this gentleman was wondering if you couldnt tote out some of his belongings. Hes going out your way.
Bartlett was a somewhat uncouth and wiry specimen of the Canadian farmer who evidently paid little attention to the subject of dress. He said nothing, but looked in a lowering way at Yates, with something of contempt and suspicion in his glance.
Yates had one receipt for making the acquaintance of all mankind. Come in, Mr. Bartlett, he said cheerily, and try one of my friends excellent cocktails.
I take mine straight, growled Bartlett gruffly, although he stepped inside the open door. I dont want no Yankee mixtures in mine. Plain whiskys good enough for any man, if he is a man. I dont take no water, neither. Ive got trouble enough.
The bartender winked at Yates as he shoved the decanter over to the newcomer.
Right you are, assented Yates cordially.
The farmer did not thaw out in the least because of this prompt agreement with him, but sipped his whisky gloomily, as if it were a most disagreeable medicine.
What did you want me to take out? he said at last.
A friend and a tent, a jug of whisky and a lot of jolly good tobacco.
How much are you willing to pay?
Oh, I dont know. Im always willing to do whats right. How would five dollars strike you?
The farmer scowled and shook his head.
Too much, he said, as Yates was about to offer more. Taint worth it. Two and a half would be about the right figure. Donno but thats too much. Ill think on it going home, and charge you what its worth. Ill be ready to leave in about an hour, if that suits you. Thats my team on the other side of the road. If its gone when you come back, Im gone, an youll have to get somebody else.
With this Bartlett drew his coat sleeve across his mouth and departed.
Thats him exactly, said the barkeeper. Hes the most cantankerous crank in the township. And say, let me give you a pointer. If the subject of 1812 comes up,the war, you know,youd better admit that we got thrashed out of our boots; that is, if you want to get along with Hiram. He hates Yankees like poison.
And did we get thrashed in 1812? asked Yates, who was more familiar with current topics than with the history of the past.
Blessed if I know. Hiram says we did. I told him once that we got what we wanted from old England, and he nearly hauled me over the bar. So I give you the warning, if you want to get along with him.
Thank you. Ill remember it. So long.
This friendly hint from the man in the tavern offers a key to the solution of the problem of Yates success on the New York press. He could get news when no other man could. Flippant and shallow as he undoubtedly was, he somehow got into the inner confidences of all sorts of men in a way that made them give him an inkling of anything that was going on for the mere love of him; and thus Yates often received valuable assistance from his acquaintances which other reporters could not get for money.
The New Yorker found the professor sitting on a bench by the customhouse, chatting with the officer, and gazing at the rapidly flowing broad blue river in front of them.
I have got a man, said Yates, who will take us out into the wilderness in about an hours time. Suppose we explore the town. I expect nobody will run away with the tent till we come back.
Ill look after that, said the officer; and, thanking him, the two friends strolled up the street. They were a trifle late in getting back, and when they reached the tavern, they found Bartlett just on the point of driving home. He gruffly consented to take them, if they did not keep him more than five minutes loading up. The tent and its belongings were speedily placed on the hay rack, and then Bartlett drove up to the tavern and waited, saying nothing, although he had been in such a hurry a few moments before. Yates did not like to ask the cause of the delay; so the three sat there silently. After a while Yates said as mildly as he could:
Are you waiting for anyone, Mr. Bartlett?
Yes, answered the driver in a surly tone. Im waiting for you to go in fur that jug. I dont suppose you filled it to leave it on the counter.
By Jove! cried Yates, springing off, I had forgotten all about it, which shows the extraordinary effect this country has on me already. The professor frowned, but Yates came out merrily, with the jar in his hand, and Bartlett started his team. They drove out of the village and up a slight hill, going for a mile or two along a straight and somewhat sandy road. Then they turned into the Ridge Road, as Bartlett called it, in answer to a question by the professor, and there was no need to ask why it was so termed. It was a good highway, but rather stony, the road being, in places, on the bare rock. It paid not the slightest attention to Euclids definition of a straight line, and in this respect was rather a welcome change from the average American road. Sometimes they passed along avenues of overbranching trees, which were evidently relics of the forest that once covered all the district. The road followed the ridge, and on each side were frequently to be seen wide vistas of lower lying country. All along the road were comfortable farmhouses; and it was evident that a prosperous community flourished along the ridge.
Bartlett spoke only once, and then to the professor, who sat next to him.
You a Canadian?
Yes.
Wheres he from?
My friend is from New York, answered the innocent professor.
Humph! grunted Bartlett, scowling deeper than ever, after which he became silent again. The team was not going very fast, although neither the load nor the road was heavy. Bartlett was muttering a good deal to himself, and now and then brought down his whip savagely on one or the other of the horses; but the moment the unfortunate animals quickened their pace he hauled them in roughly. Nevertheless, they were going quickly enough to be overtaking a young woman who was walking on alone. Although she must have heard them coming over the rocky road she did not turn her head, but walked along with the free and springy step of one who is not only accustomed to walking, but who likes it. Bartlett paid no attention to the girl; the professor was endeavoring to read his thin book as well as a man might who is being jolted frequently; but Yates, as soon as he recognized that the pedestrian was young, pulled up his collar, adjusted his necktie with care, and placed his hat in a somewhat more jaunty and fetching position.
Are you going to offer that girl a ride? he said to Bartlett.
No, Im not.
I think that is rather uncivil, he added, forgetting the warning he had had.
You do, eh? Well, you offer her a ride. You hired the team.
By Jove! I will, said Yates, placing his hand on the outside of the rack, and springing lightly to the ground.
Likely thing, growled Bartlett to the professor, that shes going to ride with the like of him.
The professor looked for a moment at Yates, politely taking off his hat to the apparently astonished young woman, but he said nothing.
Fur two cents, continued Bartlett, gathering up the reins, Id whip up the horses, and let him walk the rest of the way.
From what I know of my friend, answered the professor slowly, I think he would not object in the slightest.
Bartlett muttered something to himself, and seemed to change his mind about galloping his horses.
Meanwhile, Yates, as has been said, took off his hat with great politeness to the fair pedestrian, and as he did so he noticed, with a thrill of admiration, that she was very handsome. Yates always had an eye for the beautiful.
Our conveyance, he began, is not as comfortable as it might be, yet I shall be very happy if you will accept its hospitalities.
The young woman flashed a brief glance at him from her dark eyes, and for a moment Yates feared that his language had been rather too choice for her rural understanding, but before he could amend his phrase she answered briefly:
Thank you. I prefer to walk.
Well, I dont know that I blame you. May I ask if you have come all the way from the village?
Yes.
That is a long distance, and you must be very tired. There was no reply; so Yates continued. At least, I thought it a long distance; but perhaps that was because I was riding on Bartletts hay rack. There is no downy bed of ease about his vehicle.
As he spoke of the wagon he looked at it, and, striding forward to its side, said in a husky whisper to the professor:
Say, Stilly, cover up that jug with a flap of the tent.
Cover it up yourself, briefly replied the other; it isnt mine.
Yates reached across and, in a sort of accidental way, threw the flap of the tent over the too conspicuous jar. As an excuse for his action he took up his walking cane and turned toward his new acquaintance. He was flattered to see that she was loitering some distance behind the wagon, and he speedily rejoined her. The girl, looking straight ahead, now quickened her pace, and rapidly shortened the distance between herself and the vehicle. Yates, with the quickness characteristic of him, made up his mind that this was a case of country diffidence, which was best to be met by the bringing down of his conversation to the level of his hearers intelligence.