I am very worried about him, I have thoughts more and more confused. I wonder what he conceals and what those nasty people want from him.
I dont want to make my concern leak and I try to laugh and to get involved by the happiness of the others even if Id just like to be alone with my thoughts.
The party is coming to an end and theres neither form nor shadow of Matthias. I continue looking at the door of the living room hoping to see him back and to make sure he is okay. Im worried, Id like to ask my mother, maybe she knows something about Matthias past. After I change my mind: no, its not fair! I want him to tell me everything.
Little by little everyone leaves, including Max who I hope didnt notice my not being there I must do something to stay up as much as possible to wait for Matthias return, I need to make sure he is okay.
<<Isabel, give me a hand to tidy up, please.>> my mother asks me, distracting me from the confusion that I have in my mind.
<<Yes, mummy>>
<<Happy for the surprise?>>
<<Very, really! Dad and you have been fantastic. Thank you!>> I say, hugging her tight.
<<Is there something that troubles you, my darling?>> she asks worried.
<<No, Im just tired. You know, all the emotions of the just passed day.>>
<<Ill end it alone, Isabel. Go to sleep.>> she says, accepting my fleeting answer.
<<I help you really gladly, you are surely very tired too!>> although I want to be alone and immerse myself in my thoughts, I believe that helping my mother can help me to distract myself and to pass the time. Who knows, maybe in the meantime Matthias could come back and I want to understand what his mood is. He may need to let off steam. Matthias, where on earth are you?
We clear the table, vacuum the floor, wash and dry the dishes, and tidy the kitchen up. An infinite amount of time passed and still no news of Matthias.
I stay with my mother to chat a little and make her see the gifts I received and then we head for our bedrooms.
I take a shower and get ready for the night. I lie on the bed and can not sleep. I continue thinking about Matthias, where he may be now and who the hell can be those disgusting beings. I wonder why he never speaks about his family; he is a so closed person... He has a more and more unstable mood, from smiling he clouds in no time at all. It does not take a rocket science to understand that those two unsavoury men are primitive; they have ignoble attitudes and certainly they ignore the existence of etiquette. They look like theyve come out of some mafia movie. The only thought of them makes me shiver!
Sleep isnt on the cards. I reread Matthias note and connect the iPod that he gave me to the laptop to load the music.
I hear footsteps! Matthias! I get out of bed and rush to the door, opening it wide.
<<Hi!>> I say, scrutinizing him to understand what mood he can be and above all to ensure he is still in one piece.
<<Forgive me if I woke you, coming back.>> he says worriedly.
<<Actually I could not sleep...>>
<<Forgive me if I went away like that.>>
I dont give him the time to finish speaking and I ask him: <<Are you okay?>>
<<Yes, Im just a little tired and I really want to go to sleep.>>
I realize that he does everything to avoid telling me what happened to him. Suddenly he changes his mood and I notice that he looks at me from head to foot and tells me sniggering: <<Nice pyjamas!>>
I look at myself and I realise that I wear a poor white satin underskirt that covers very little. I blush and try to turn tail as soon as possible.
<<Good night, Matthias>> I succeed in telling him in total embarrassment.
<<Good night, Isabel>> he says, winking mischievously.
Practically I run to my room, embarrassed to death. I forgot what I was wearing. I will go out of this bedroom no more. Im having a lot of complexes. Oh my God! He could think that I did it on purpose to show me like that!
What should I do to help Matthias? I dont understand why he insists on not wanting to vent with me. Maybe he believes that Im not live up to it. He promised me that as soon as he wanted to talk to someone about it I would be the first one to whom he would do it. Maybe I just have to have a little patience. Matthias, why are you so taciturn?
Sweet Isabel Matthias thinks to himself, still amused by the expression and the embarrassment he has aroused in her and for a moment he thought no longer about his problems
I have to find a solution as soon as possible. One of these days Ill tell her everything. I have noticed how much she cares about me. Its 3 a.m and certainly she stayed up to wait for me. Oh Isabel... If only everything was less complicated!
VII
I did well to go jogging, in this way I relieved myself of some tension.
The sun emanates an unbearable heat. Its autumn but today it seems to be the middle of summer. Where are the seasons? I can hardly wait for getting home to take this sweaty tracksuit off, freshen up and to wear something lighter.
Two silhouettes in front of the gate of the house draw my attention. What the heck are they doing here? There are the two well-known gentlemen with no good manners in front of the main door, theyre certainly waiting for Matthias.
<<Good morning, Miss. Do you remember us?>> they ask me sarcastically. What the hell do they want from me these morons?
<<Yes, unfortunately! You are the ones who yesterday ruined my party.>> I answer in an annoyed tone.
Their presence bothers me and makes my good spirits disappear.
<<Why do you say so? What have we done? Ah, maybe we took away the most important guest!>> they exclaim making a mockery of me with a smile that Id like to take away maybe arming myself with a baseball bat and beating their teeth with it.
I stiffen and begin to get nervous; raising my voice I answer very rudely: <<How dare you go to peoples houses without being allowed or invited? What a cheek! Among other things I havent allowed you to speak to me. Furthermore you are also requested not to stand in front of my house!>> these two men have the power to bring out the worst part of me... they instigate violence!
<<Matthias is my friend and who pisses my friends off, pisses me off too! I dont like you, I dont know you and I do not want to have anything to do with you so, if possible, stay away from this house. Arrange appointments elsewhere, this is not a meeting place for scum like you!>> I pause to breath <<Now, if you excuse me, Id like to get into my house!>> I exclaim screaming hysterically and at the end of my rope.
While I try to open the front door the biggest man gets in front of me to prevent me from entering in the house and threateningly says: <<Oh! Excuse us if we dont worth your while, little sod! Tell your friend to think well about what he has to do unless he doesnt want to have unpleasant surprises in the future!>>
In the meantime also the other sleazy man approaches and says menacingly: <<Measure your words, presumptuous girl, otherwise we will give you a hard time...>>
At the same time Max arrives. He heard everything and intervenes immediately in my defence. <<What do you want from her? Leave her alone and go away.>>
At the same time Max arrives. He heard everything and intervenes immediately in my defence. <<What do you want from her? Leave her alone and go away.>>
<<Her friend knows it, ask him! We take our leave, for now...>> while they continue saying bullshit, they move away sniggering. They makes me shiver.
Max stares at me furiously and yells: <<What the hell were you thinking of? Do you realize what kind of fellow those two characters are? Do you tell me what the fuck you are doing? You have never been favourable to quarrels and then you squabble with two criminals. And what if I wasnt here?>>
<<It was not my choice, I found myself in front of them and they wanted to prevent me from entering the house. Im worried about Matthias, I dont like how they treat him and Im sure that he has nothing to do with them!>>
Now he is really angry. He has never been in favour of my friendship with Matthias. He sees him as an obstacle.
<<Since when are you Matthias defender?>> Maxs anger is increasingly growing and Im almost more afraid of him than of those two ugly mug.
<<Have you seen that Im right?>> he yells with his face red with anger: <<If those two characters are Matthias acquaintances, I do well not to trust him, and you should do it too!>>
Im getting irritated more and more. What right has Max to insult and criticise someone who he practically doesnt know? Im about to explode!
I shout at him: <<What are you saying? He is a nice person! You talk so just because youre jealous. How can you judge who you dont even know, relying only on what you have decided to believe?>>
The tones are increasingly raising and the anger is increasingly gaining the upper hand. <<Im not jealous, but Im fed up! Youre not able to do anything else but talking about him, you are smitten with him from day one. How can you deny the evidence in this way?>>
<<Is it possible that you can only say bullshit? Im sick of your accusations and inopportune reprimands!>> I reply more and more unnerved.
<<Open your eyes! Since he arrived here you are no longer the same: You always have your head in the clouds, you dont even want to make love with me, you always have a different excuse not to get out and stay perennially at home. You are, you are...>> Maxs voice is more and more loud and aggressive: <<Stop now! Its time for you to choose...him or me!>>
I feel confused and I seem to live in a nightmare. I try to control myself and with a calm voice I make him notice: <<I got engaged to you, Max, not to Matthias...>>
<<Yes, but actually you would like to stay with him, even the walls noticed it.>>
<<We are just good friends, and moreover he is engaged!>> I exclaim unwillingly knowing that this assertion hurts me more than Maxs insults and yells.