But he will until you say yes, he countered with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
Aw, Dad.
Josh raised a brow and Griff rolled his eyes. Rachel smiled at the father-son exchange. Josh was a good father. His love for his son was evident in the way he looked at the boy, the way he displayed affection to Griff so freely. Shed always known Josh would be a good dad.
She sighed, feeling suddenly more alone and lonely than shed felt in years. Josh had his son; she had no one. But shed made her choice. A family wasnt part of her world, couldnt be a part of her world. Her job came first, would always come first. She doubted any man would accept that.
You look tired, Josh said abruptly. We should take you to the hotel.
Rachel stood. You really dont have to do that. Im sure Mr. Finley can take me there. She glanced around for the balding lawyer.
No, we will, he stated. Mr. Finley can stop by later after youve had a chance to rest.
She didnt like being told how she felt. Im not tired.
His expression became speculative and his tone softened. Humor me, okay? Let us take you.
Griff slipped his hand into hers. You can sit with me.
Now how can you refuse an offer like that? Josh asked.
She was sunk. How could she refuse Griff anything?
But Josh was another story. She couldnt decipher what she felt for him. The confusion left her wary and upset.
She wanted to go back to Chicago, far away from Josh and the jumbled mess of emotions he so easily stirred.
Fine, she relented, only to have her nerves strung taut by the pleased look on Joshs face. Pleasing him shouldnt feel so good.
The tall, white-tipped, pointed steeple of the historic Red Church, its red paint gleaming in bright contrast to the clear blue sky, rose high above the maple and oak trees in the parklike setting of the church grounds. White-painted woodwork outlined beautifully etched stained-glass windows. The melodic strain of the church organ drifted out with the people as they exited through the open, wide double doors.
Rachel made her way toward the street, intent on walking back to her hotel without being waylaid by Josh.
The sound of pounding feet behind her drew her attention. She turned to see Griff skid to a halt before grabbing her hand. Will you go get ice cream with us?
Rachel laughed. Dont you mean lunch?
Griff shook his head. Nope, ice cream.
His little face beamed and she felt tightness in her chest shed never experienced before. He looked so adorable in his navy slacks with a checkered button-down shirt coming untucked at the waist.
She glanced up as Josh approached. His tawny hair was combed back and the green stripe in his tie brought out the green in his eyes. A warm flush flowed over her skin. Ice cream after church? she asked.
He shrugged sheepishly. Its tradition.
Will you come? Will you, huh? Griff tugged on her hand.
I dont think so. The numbness shed allowed to seep into her soul after Mom G.s passing seemed to retreat every time this child was present, only to be replaced with a tender yearning.
The new feeling worried her; confusion was not something she allowed herself. She always knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. Except when it came to Josh and now his son. She didnt like the out-of-her-control feelings spinning around her heart and mind.
Please, he wheedled. You can get any flavor you want. Right, Dad?
Sure she can. She heard the challenge in his tone.
Rachel tried to discern what was going on inside Joshs head. His expression gave nothing away. He looked decidedlyneutral, but his voice told her otherwise.
I have things to do. She stopped as Josh cocked one brow and Griff tightened his grip on her hand.
You have all day to do stuff, Griff complained. Please, please? I really want you to come with us.
Her mouth twisted in a half smile. She understood now what Josh had meant about being badgered. Ice cream did sound good, if only because it was a decadence she rarely indulged in. Well
Griff pounced on her momentary indecision. Yay!
To Joshs amused expression, she said, What? I like ice cream. Besides, he can be convincing.
Theres no doubt about that. Joshs mouth quirked up at the corners. His gaze narrowed slightly. I went to the hotel this morning to pick you up.
I told you not to, she countered.
He smiled with wry humor. I went anyway.
Shed hoped he wouldnt. She didnt want him to think shed deliberately stood him up. I came early to spend a few moments of quiet before the service.
He nodded, but she could tell he wasnt truly convinced.
Rachel? a female voice called.
She turned to a see Jennifer Martin hurrying toward her. Theyd been best friends in high school. Very different, not only in looksJennifer, blond and olive-skinned contrasted to Rachels own dark hair and fair skinbut also in temperament. Jennifer was outgoing and confident. Rachel had envied that about her friend.
Theyd spoken briefly at the funeral, but Rachel hadnt been in the mood to play catch-up on the locals. Jennifer had understood.
Hi, Jennifer.
To Rachels surprise, Jennifer hugged her again, as she had the day before at the graveside. Rachel wasnt accustomed to displays of affection from anyone other than Mom G. And Josh. Though she couldnt say that hed held her at the hospital with any amount of affection, more like obligation. She stiffly hugged Jennifer back.
Were going to get ice cream, Griff piped up.
Jennifers speculative gaze traveled from Griff, to Josh and then settled on Rachel. Thats wonderful.
Rachel smiled tightly.
Im so glad to see you here, Jennifer said with a bright smile. Youll have to come for dinner and spend time with my family. I cant wait for you to meet Paul and the kids.
That would be nice, Rachel replied politely, feeling a pang of guilt. She wouldnt be in town long enough to make it to her friends house, but now was not the time to say so.
Good. Tonight then.
Before Rachel could protest, Jennifer turned to Josh. You two come along.
Sure, wed love to, Josh replied.
Great. Its settled then. Jennifer beamed. Why dont you pick up Rachel and you can all come together?
We can do that.
Hey, wait, Rachel interjected, hating the maddening way they were arranging her life. I have things to do. Ive got to organize Mom G.s house, pack things up. I dont have time for dinner. I Her protest faded as disappointment clouded Jennifers eyes.
Josh nudged her with his elbow and the look he gave her was a clear signal that she was blowing it and about to hurt Jennifers feelings. I suppose I can take care of everything tomorrow. Dinner would be great. Thank you.
The sparkle returned to Jennifers eyes. Ill see you all about five.
Can we go now? Griff asked, and gave Rachels hand another tug.
Swallowing back the trepidation that she was getting in too deep, Rachel nodded and allowed Griff to pull her along.
The local ice-cream parlor was packed. The old-fashioned decor with its mahogany tables and soda fountain counter always gave Josh the impression of stepping back in time. He waved at several people and endured the assessing glances as he herded Griff and Rachel toward the back where he spotted a table being vacated by two teens. His gaze strayed over Rachels long floral skirt, appreciating the curves and the way the hem flirted with her trim ankles.
I want strawberry with caramel sauce on a waffle cone, Griff said as soon as his bottom hit the chair.
Josh raised a brow, not sure overloading his son on sugar was such a good idea.
Awww. A fleeting expression of disappointment crossed Griffs face. Okay, no sauce.
What? No sauce? Outrageous. Rachels light laughter captured Joshs gaze. She blinked up at him, her blue eyes full of merriment. We gotta have caramel sauce on strawberry waffle cones.
Yeah, thats right, Griff chimed in eagerly.
She raised her dark winged brows, daring Josh to say no. He didnt want to spoil the air of fun surrounding them. All right, caramel sauce it is. So much for any semblance of nutrition.
Griffs exuberance exploded in a loud Yeah!
Rachels pleased smile sent ripples of pleasure down Joshs spine. Right now there wasnt anything remotely cold in her gaze. Her eyes were alive and warm, drawing him in, making him wish for the impossible, wish for a way to be enough for this woman. And wish the three of them could be a family. His stomach dropped. Abruptly he stood and headed to the counter. What was he doing having Rachel join them as if they were a family?
Shes a friend, Josh admonished himself. Friends could have ice cream together. Friends could sit and have a decent conversation without their emotions being strung out to dry. Friends could laugh and enjoy each others company without risking heartbreak.
His mouth twisted wryly. He was going to have to find a different category in which to place Rachel, because friend wasnt the correct one.
He paid and walked back to the table with three cones in hand.
At Rachels appraising look he muttered, It sounded good.
She laughed again. Josh liked her laugh. Hed forgotten how lyrical the sound could be, how her laugh wrapped around his senses. When they were in high school, Rachels laugh was what had gained his attention.
As they ate their cones, Josh saw a side of Rachel hed thought long gone. Here was the girl hed been so crazy about in high school but there was so much more to her now. Shed seen things, experienced things that had changed her, given her depths that hadnt been there before.
Yet she was capable of an easy wit and gentle nature that made the time fly by. And Griff hung on every story coming from her lovely lips. How could his son help but fall for Rachel who at turns made Josh crazy with frustration and longing?
Wow. Rachel sighed. That was delicious. I havent had ice cream in ages.
Why not? asked Griff.
You know, I dont know.
She looked genuinely puzzled. Like the thought of enjoying something as simple as ice cream was foreign to her. What was her life like in the big city of Chicago? Did she have many friends? What did she do for fun? Was there a man in her life?
That last thought stopped him cold. He had no business even caring, let alone being tempted to ask if she had someone waiting for her return. Even so, curiosity about every facet of Rachels life hounded him, made him want to know why the woman shed become drew him to her despite his resistance.
They left the parlor and stepped into the sunshine. The parking lot hummed with the rumble of cars on the highway as well as the many entering and leaving the parking lot. The newly developed strip mall with the drugstore, bookstore, several specialty stores and two restaurants buzzed with activity as people meandered about, busy shopping and such on Sunday afternoon.
At the curb, Rachel touched his arm. Thank you. I really enjoyed this morning.
He stared into those crystal-blue eyes and found he couldnt speak. The softness he saw spoke of caring and affection.
Her touch remained icy hot on his arm. An innocent touch that shouldnt cause such a riot inside.
He shouldnt let this get too personal, let the easy companionship of the morning cloud reality with wanting more from her. Yet he couldnt stop himself from covering her hand with his.
He told himself she needed comfort whether she wanted to admit to the need or not. Shed lost Mrs. G. The least he could do was offer some solace. Her eyes widened, and he was gratified to see a bit of the same chaos he felt reflected in her gaze.
She slipped her hand away. He wasnt surprised.
Well take you back to the hotel.
She drew herself up. The composed politeness he was beginning to detest settled over her lovely face and her petite form stiffened. Gone was the congenial woman of moments before. Now he was faced with the Rachel shed become, the one he didnt understand or know how to deal with.
That would be fine. I have things that need to be taken care of before we go to Jennifers, she said stiffly.
And he would be there to help her take care of things, because of his promise, not because he wanted to. At least thats what he tried to convince himself of as he headed them out of the parking lot and drove them to the hotel.
When they arrived at the gray motel lodge consisting of ten single units, Rachel slid from the truck.
Can I stay with you? asked Griff, his little face full of eager anticipation.
Josh swallowed past the lump in his throat. His sons eagerness to be with Rachel was touching.
Rachel smiled, her blue eyes twinkling. Youre going to get sick of me if we spend too much time together.
Naw, couldnt happen, Griff scoffed.
Josh ruffled Griffs hair. Well be seeing Rachel tonight, buddy. He turned his attention to her. Ill be back in a while to help you with things.
Her brows drew together. You dont need to.
But I will, he insisted.
Josh, Im going to rest for a while. Please dont come back until its time to leave for Jennifers.
The edge to her tone conveyed the subtle message: Youre not wanted. Well, too bad. She was stuck with him for the duration of her stay because thats what Mrs. G. wanted.
And he always honored his promises.
He chose to ignore the little voice in his head that wondered why it seemed like so much more. He didnt want more. Rachel would be leaving soon and hed be safe to remember that spending time with her was for now only. There could never be a forever for them.
Chapter Six
Rachel was ready and fresh from a nap when the boys arrived to pick her up. She was thankful Josh had honored her wishes and not returned earlier. Shed needed the time to get herself refocused on her mission: See to Mom G.s affairs and then head back to Chicago. Shed made an appointment with Mr. Finley to go over the terms of the will and sign the necessary papers.
The drive to Jennifers went smoothly with Griff chattering away about an upcoming Boy Scout trip. The only trouble she had was keeping her pulse from racing every time she met Joshs gaze. Hed grown more handsome since morning. He wore dark denim jeans, a light blue chambray shirt with a white T-shirt peeking out at the V where the first three buttons were undone.
She forced herself to look straight ahead at the scenery going by as he drove, in an effort to keep herself from overheating. They turned onto a gravel driveway where Josh pulled the truck to a stop beside a white minivan.
The large, yellow with white trim A-frame stood on the top of a rise on the north side of the county. The wraparound porch cluttered with a smattering of toys added charm to the house. The laughter of children reached her ears and she couldnt tell if the sound came from inside the house or from the back where shed glimpsed a lawn with a wooden swing set. On the evening breeze the scent of barbecue drifted past.